Chapter 88: NO ONE COULD EVER MANAGE TO BE ME

Fu Hanzheng finished his examination with a small, satisfied nod, though the expression shifted quickly into something closer to disapproval as he studied the final numbers.

"You are not at an optimal weight for your height and cultivation stage." He set his tools aside and reached for a small pouch of supplements tucked into one of the shelves nearby. "You need to eat better, Yanyan. Cultivation demands a proper foundation, and your body cannot build one on scraps and neglect. You need a proper diet."

He pressed the supplements into Li Yan’s hands, then added a small, neatly wrapped walnut cake, offered without the sternness that had colored his voice only a moment earlier.

"A reward for enduring today so well."

Li Yan accepted both with a quiet thanks, tucking the cake carefully into his sleeve as they made their way out of the sickbay together.

"Master." He kept pace beside him, curiosity finally overtaking his earlier restraint. "How do you know so much about Gu? And why is cultivating it considered so wrong?"

Fu Hanzheng’s expression sobered at the question, though he answered without hesitation.

"As a physician, I have treated more victims of Gu poisoning than I care to count over the years." His voice carried none of its usual warmth now. "It is a silent killer, slow enough that a person rarely notices until it is already too late to save them. Worse still is what the cultivation itself demands. It begins with insects. Given enough time, it moves to animals. Eventually, if left unchecked, it reaches toward humans entirely. Those who practice it long enough often lose themselves to madness. Something capable of causing that much harm, that deliberately, cannot ever be accepted within any sect worth its name. I have seen grown men reduced to shells of themselves by their own creations, unable to tell friend from enemy in their final days."

Li Yan nodded slowly, understanding settling into place. No wonder his master’s fury had been so absolute, so immediate. This was not simple rule-breaking. This was something far darker, something that ate away at both the victim and the practitioner alike.

"I have a manual on Gu within the space, if you wish to understand it more fully," Xiaoxiao offered quietly. "It would give you a clearer picture of exactly what your master is describing, without needing to trouble him with further questions."

Li Yan filed the offer away for later as they continued walking, already deciding he would read through it that evening once he had settled back at home.

"Would you prefer to return home today," Fu Hanzheng asked, "or would you rather remain here a while longer, if you are still frightened?"

Li Yan shook his head. "As long as the Gu has been removed, I am not worried about anything."

"I will be fine, Master." He offered a small smile. "I also need to get out of your hair. I should head home and prepare for tomorrow’s lecture."

Fu Hanzheng reached out and pinched his cheek once more, a familiar, fond gesture by now. "About tomorrow. Your morning lecture will be held with the rest of your fellow disciples in the Apothecary Department. Learning alongside others can prove educational in its own way. Our personal lesson will resume in the afternoon, as usual."

Li Yan nodded, already looking forward to seeing how the other disciples in the department compared to what he had learned so far under his master’s individual guidance.

"I will take my leave now, Master."

Fu Hanzheng walked him all the way to the gate, pressing a second walnut cake into his hands before he could leave, as though one had never been enough to send him off properly.

"If anything happens, tell me immediately." His tone left no room for argument. "I will handle it."

Li Yan accepted the cake and made his way out, already thinking ahead to the materials he still wanted to finish reading that evening. He had not seen or heard from Gu Jun since the day everything began, and made a mental note to check on him tomorrow as well, hoping his friend had not been counted among the victims discussed during the trial.

He never expected the walk home to take longer than planned. The afternoon sun had begun sinking lower over the mountain paths, and disciples moved past him in scattered groups, most too absorbed in their own conversations about the day’s trial to spare him more than a passing glance.

He had barely started up the path toward Purple Mountain when he collided with someone coming the opposite way. He opened his mouth to apologize, the words already forming, when he caught sight of exactly who stood in front of him.

Li Wei.

He was taller than his brother now, despite being the younger of the two, a fact that would have seemed impossible only months earlier, back when he had still been the frail, half-starved thing everyone in the Li household had written off as worthless.

Li Wei stared at him as though staring at something risen straight out of hell itself, face drained of all color, mouth working uselessly for several seconds before any actual sound emerged. His hands trembled visibly at his sides, the confident swagger he usually carried nowhere to be found in this moment.

"Y-you! Who are you?! How dare you steal my little brother’s face!"

Steal his face. Li Yan nearly laughed outright at the accusation. He let out a low, quiet sigh instead, deciding there was no harm in indulging his brother a little, given how thoroughly the moment had already fallen into his lap.

"How exactly does one steal their own face?" He tilted his head slightly, voice cool and unbothered. "I am the most beautiful person alive. No one could ever manage to be me, no matter how hard they tried."

He took a single step closer, watching Li Wei flinch back from it, some deep, instinctive fear flickering behind eyes that had once looked at him with nothing but contempt.

"It is not pleasant to see you again, Li Wei." His voice dropped lower, colder, every trace of warmth stripped away entirely. "When I clawed my way out of the depths of hell, you were the very first person I intended to haunt."