Chapter 128: I SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE

Gu Jun walked through the sect gate with the other outer disciples, but he did not slow down once they entered the familiar grounds. He had spent several days outside the sect, and although the mission had not been particularly dangerous, he was eager to return to his usual routine.

More importantly, he wanted to see Li Yan. He had already imagined the conversation several times during the journey, especially the part where Li Yan would complain about him leaving without saying anything.

The thought made him smile as he adjusted the sword at his waist and followed the familiar path toward the Apothecary Department. He had bought the hairpin at the town below the mountain after remembering how much Li Yan liked pretty things. He kept it safely inside his storage pouch throughout the journey. He intended to give it to him before Li Yan could complain too much.

When Gu Jun reached the Apothecary Department, he did not find Li Yan in the places where he usually spent his time.

He first passed the training area where the disciples practiced basic techniques, then crossed the courtyard where the younger disciples often gathered between lessons, but Li Yan was nowhere in sight.

Gu Jun assumed he was probably with Fu Hanzheng and continued toward the inner courtyard without thinking much about it.

He had barely reached the entrance when a disciple carrying a basket of herbs came out and recognized him.

"Junior Brother Gu, you are back."

Gu Jun returned the greeting before asking, "Have you seen Li Yan?"

The disciple shook his head. "Not today."

Gu Jun frowned slightly. "Did he go somewhere?"

"I do not know. I have not seen him since earlier."

That answer did not tell Gu Jun anything useful, so he thanked the disciple and continued toward Fu Hanzheng’s residence.

He could not understand why Li Yan was nowhere around, but there was no reason to assume anything was wrong. Li Yan had plenty of reasons to be elsewhere, and Gu Jun knew better than to worry over something so ordinary.

As he approached the courtyard, however, he noticed that the atmosphere was unusually quiet. The herb garden was still being tended, but there were fewer disciples moving around than usual.

Gu Jun slowed his steps when he saw Anyu working near the plants, then remembered that he had no reason to disturb him for something as simple as finding Li Yan.

He was about to continue when the courtyard door opened, and Fu Hanzheng stepped outside.

Gu Jun immediately stopped and bowed respectfully. "Sect Master."

Fu Hanzheng looked at him for a moment before his expression softened slightly. "I see you have returned."

"Yes, Sect Master. The mission ended earlier today."

"That is good. You should report to the Outer Hall before returning to your residence."

Gu Jun nodded, but he did not leave immediately. His eyes moved briefly toward the courtyard behind Fu Hanzheng.

"Sect Master, is Li Yan inside?"

Fu Hanzheng’s expression changed almost imperceptibly. That small change did not escape Gu Jun.

"He is."

Gu Jun relaxed. At least Li Yan had not gone somewhere outside the sect without telling anyone. He reached into his storage pouch and touched the small box containing the hairpin, already thinking about giving it to him.

"I came to see him first. I have been away for several days."

Fu Hanzheng remained silent for a moment before stepping aside.

"You may see him, but keep your voice down."

Gu Jun paused. There was something in Fu Hanzheng’s tone that made his earlier relief disappear.

He entered the courtyard quietly and followed his master’s gaze toward the sitting room. Li Yan was lying on the bed inside, his face paler than Gu Jun remembered, and his eyes closed as he rested.

Gu Jun stopped at the doorway. For several seconds, he could only stare. The person he had expected to find sitting beneath a tree, complaining about his sudden departure, looked nothing like the healthy boy he had left behind.

Gu Jun turned toward Fu Hanzheng, his expression changing completely. "What happened to him?"

"You should ask him yourself; he’s right there. You can have some sweets if you are hungry..." After saying this, Fu Hanzheng walked inside the house. Not long after, Anyu also went inside, leaving them alone in the courtyard.

Gu Jun sat down, giving Li Yan a slight smile, but received no reciprocation from Li Yan.

"How was your mission? You must have been eager to leave the sect, since you left without telling me..." Li Yan’s voice was hoarse and weak. He did not look at Gu Jun.

Gu Jun’s heart tightened. In front of others, he was calm and steady, but in front of Li Yan, he was always like a lackey who had done something wrong.

"Yanyan... I, it happened so fast, I did not get the chance to tell you... I thought it would only be two days. The Outer Hall called us at the last minute."

Li Yan turned his face away. "I thought you were not coming back."

Gu Jun felt his chest ache. He quickly took out the small wooden box from his storage pouch.

"Yanyan, I bought this for you. At the town below the mountain. I saw it and thought you would like it."

Li Yan still did not look. Gu Jun panicked. He placed the box aside and carefully held Li Yan’s hand that was outside the blanket. It was cold.

"Yanyan, I was wrong. I will never leave without telling you again. Whatever Yanyan says, I will listen. Do not be angry."

Li Yan finally looked at him, his eyes a little red. "Do you know, when you were gone, I almost died?"

Gu Jun’s hand froze completely.

His fingers tightened unconsciously around Li Yan’s cold hand. For a moment, his brain could not process the words. Almost died? What did that mean? Li Yan had always been inside the sect, inside the Apothecary Department; how could he have almost died?

The smile that Gu Jun had forced earlier disappeared entirely. His face turned pale.

"Yanyan, what... what happened?" His voice was shaking. He could not hide his panic at all. "What do you mean you almost died? Were you injured? Who hurt you?"

Li Yan looked at Gu Jun’s anxious face and did not answer immediately. He just let Gu Jun hold his hand, his eyes wet.

Gu Jun’s heart was beating so fast it felt like it would jump out of his chest. He leaned closer, his other hand gently touching Li Yan’s forehead, his cheek, checking for injuries like a worried lackey who had lost his master.

"Yanyan, tell me, please? I am sorry I was not here... I should have been here."