Chapter 247 : The Art of Language is Making People Feel Comfortable as Soon as You Speak

The coach blinked and gave a thumbs up: "Smart!"

"I'm not just saying this, Lin Li. If this is really your first time doing live-fire shooting and you can achieve such results, I think you are definitely a good seedling for the military. You might even become a generation's King of Soldiers. You have great potential and prospects."

Coach Shi also developed a love for talent and said sincerely.

Lin Li: "..."

"I'm only a freshman in high school, Coach," Lin Li politely declined.

This wasn't his true talent.

Besides, if he joined the military, what would happen to his Genshin Impact daily commissions?

Lin Li considered himself not very good at enduring hardship. He would be exhausted and complaining like a dog after just a few days of military training, let alone being a soldier.

"Aren't you about to become an adult soon? What grade you're in isn't a problem," but Coach Shi felt it was harmless.

"What?! Coach, how did you know I'm gay? Also, can we gays join the military too?" Lin Li said in shock. *(Translator's Note: "What grade" (gao ji) sounds like "gay" (gao ji) in Chinese).*

Coach Shi: "?"

*You motherfucker.*

"I was just mentioning it casually, it's not that serious," Coach Shi smiled and waved his hand. In the great Eastern country, this kind of thing indeed respects personal wishes.

Leaving Coach Shi inside to clean up the bullet casings, Lin Li left the shooting booth.

As soon as he stepped out the door, Bai Bufan earnestly stepped forward, grabbed Lin Li's hand, and said sincerely:

"Lin Li, promise me, if we ever encounter a brown bear while exposing ourselves in the wild in the future, we absolutely won't point our guns at each other's knees, okay?"

Although Bai Bufan was standing outside, he could clearly see Lin Li's battle record through the glass.

*Fuck, how am I supposed to play this?*

Bai Bufan felt that when the time came, one second he would see a brown bear, and the next second he would see his own knees dripping with blood and Lin Li's retreating back.

Lin Li smiled upon hearing this: "Don't worry, I won't."

"Good brother," Bai Bufan was moved.

"—The risk of shooting the knee is still too high. What if you get desperate and want to take me down with you, holding a gun and shooting at me while I'm running away?

"It's not safe, so I will definitely aim for your eyes. That way, even if you're unlucky and only go blind instead of dying, you definitely won't be able to hit me again, and you won't be able to escape either. The brown bear will definitely target you first." Lin Li finished his sentence.

Bai Bufan: "..."

*You motherfucker.*

*Even more ruthless than shooting the knee, truly not leaving a single way out.*

"Lin Li, I don't know what you're pretending for, really," seeing that Lin Li was determined to put him to death, Bai Bufan sneered. "I gave you some face, and you pushed your luck. Tsk—let me just say this, I could get your score with my hands tied."

"Oh—" Lin Li nodded, dragging out his tone.

"Just wait!"

Bai Bufan pushed the door open and walked in. Seeing Coach Shi preparing to adjust the target distance back to the ten-meter target, he raised his hand to signal it wasn't necessary:

"No need, Coach. With my strength, starting directly from the thirty-meter target is fine. You must know, the upper limit of some people's entire lives is nothing more than the casual lower limit of others," Bai Bufan said lightly.

Coach Shi: "?"

But Coach Shi didn't say much this time.

He could tell that although these two kids were a bit stupid, they were stupid with some strength. He couldn't judge a book by its cover.

Judging solely by appearance, Bai Bufan looked even more low-energy, like a child who couldn't take care of himself.

Then... maybe this guy was an existence even more powerful than Lin Li.

*Believe first!*

"Hold the gun with both hands, keep your arms straight, lean your body slightly forward..." So Coach Shi guided the shooting posture again.

"I am ready!"

"Bang!"

Bai Bufan was taken down.

—After firing this shot, Bai Bufan subconsciously tried to bypass the safety tether to blow away the smoke from the muzzle. In reality, he couldn't do it under the restriction of the safety tether, but because the muzzle had a tendency to lift, he was already taken down.

But not only could this not be blamed on Coach Shi, it was a manifestation of his dedication to his duty. Bai Bufan instead took the initiative to apologize.

The thirty-meter target was still a bit far. After apologizing, Bai Bufan looked at the screen next to him.

The picture was peaceful and quiet. There were only the three bullet holes left by Lin Li on the target paper.

Bai Bufan turned his head and made eye contact with Coach Shi.

"Coach, the internet seems to be lagging," Bai Bufan pointed at the screen and said.

Coach Shi: "..."

"Child, is there a possibility that you missed the target?" Coach Shi said politely.

Bai Bufan's posture just now wasn't standard, plus it was his first time experiencing it, and he was using a handgun. Missing a thirty-meter target was a normal result.

"No, it's just the internet lagging," Bai Bufan shook his head.

Coach Shi smiled. He pressed the target switch, and the target on the screen lowered in real-time.

Bai Bufan: "..."

"Coach, is there a possibility that I shot too accurately and perfectly matched Lin Li's ten-ring bullet hole from just now, so it looks like I missed?" Bai Bufan had a new excuse.

Coach Shi: "..."

"It's okay to lie to your bro, just don't lie to yourself. It really doesn't matter to your bro if you lie to him, we can just laugh it off. But I hope after you say this, you wipe the corners of your eyes, just don't let your tears fall on the handgun barrel.

"Your bro won't lose a piece of meat by believing you for a second, but just don't make yourself believe it too. It really doesn't matter to your bro if you lie to him for a second, your bro will just smile and let it pass. It's really not that your bro wants to break your defenses, you wipe your tears and think carefully, besides your bro, who else would believe these words of yours?"

Lin Li's faint voice came muffled from outside the glass door.

"Fuck!" Bai Bufan couldn't hold it in anymore.

"An accident, an accident, let's do it again, let's do it again!"

He raised his hand and aimed again. This time he waited a bit longer before the gunshot.

"Three rings, not bad." This time it hit, and there were no other unnecessary movements. Coach Shi looked at the screen and said.

The third shot was 2 rings.

"Alright Coach, I'm completely familiar with the thirty-meter target now. There's no challenge in continuing to shoot it. Personally, I'm looking forward to the ten-meter target more now. It's the opponent worthy of my respect," Bai Bufan said.

*Fuck, if I keep shooting the thirty-meter target, who knows if the total rings of all five shots will be higher than Lin Li's one shot!*

Coach Shi: "...Okay."

*His mouth is certainly tough.*

After switching to the ten-meter target, the results were naturally much better. The first shot was seven rings, the second shot was eight rings.

After finishing the five shots, it was now time for the part Bai Bufan feared the most—leaving this room to face Lin Li.

And looking at Bai Bufan turning around and walking out of the room, Lin Li, who had been waiting for a long time, smiled.

"Bufan, do you know what I was born to be useful for?"

"Wait—"

"A complete failure!"

*(Translator's Note: A pun on the idiom "Heaven gave me talent, it must be put to use" (tian sheng wo cai bi you yong). Lin Li changes "cai" (talent) to "cai" (failure/vegetable)).*

"Bufan, do you know what you need to find to drink tea?"

"Shut up!"

"Find your own tea set."

*(Translator's Note: "Find tea set" (zhao cha ju) sounds like "find fault" (zhao cha)).*

"Bufan, do you know the periodic table of elements?"

"Fuck!"

"Arsenic (shen) head is not thin lead (qian), erbium (er) cerium (shi) rhodium (lao) tellurium (di) niobium (ni) still need to be refined."

*(Translator's Note: The elements sound like "Stretching your head is not an apology, you still need to practice your hearing and speaking").*

"Bufan, compared to the beaches in Shanting, I prefer the beaches in Sanya. Do you know why?"

"Because there are no stone particles (shi li), only sand (sha zi)!"

*(Translator's Note: "Stone particles" (shi li) sounds like "strength" (shi li), and "sand" (sha zi) sounds like "idiot" (sha zi)).*

Bai Bufan: "..."

*Fuck.*

*You motherfucker.*

"Alright, alright, alright, bro, that's enough, I was wrong, I was wrong." Seeing that Lin Li still intended to output, Bai Bufan covered his ears and said in despair.

If he had known, he wouldn't have mocked Lin Li so much during the stone-skipping segment on National Day. Now look, it was his turn to be the victim.

"Mainly because I haven't shot in too long, I'm a bit rusty." Seeing that Lin Li finally shut up, or perhaps temporarily ran out of material, Bai Bufan felt he was capable again, so he tried to make up for it.

"Are you fucking playing billiards here? You even brought out the universal disclaimer," Lin Li sneered.

Whether playing basketball or billiards, there's always someone who has to say this sentence before starting.

If they win, it's because their strength is too great; if they lose, it's excusable.

"I'm not faking it. Lin Li, when was the last time you shot a handgun?" Bai Bufan immediately questioned.

"The day before yesterday."

"For me, it was a week ago when I went home! I'm naturally rustier than you. And let's look at the scores. Yours are 10, 10, 10, 8, 9, which is a downward spiral. And mine are 0, 3, 2, 7, 8, an upward spiral. Isn't it clear what this means?

"From a dialectical, long-term perspective, my future is promising, while you have no future!" Bai Bufan argued strongly on just grounds.

Lin Li didn't refute, just looked at Bai Bufan with a smiling, mocking gaze as if looking at an idiot.

"Fuck!!"

*This gaze is so fucking hurtful.*

...

"How about it, are you guys still shooting?"

The afternoon time flowed away amidst the sound of gunshots. After three rounds of firearms, the four returned to the inner hall of the club to sit and rest, and Lin Li asked the other three.

"Boring. I'd rather shoot handguns with you than shoot handguns with you," Bai Bufan said dully.

After three rounds, Bai Bufan's target shooting scores were massacred by Lin Li. And even after switching to a more difficult-to-control rifle, this guy could actually still guarantee his score under the premise of continuous firing, as if he had become a bit more proficient.

In fact, this was indeed the case. The [Imitation] of the [Imitation] of the [Imitation] took full responsibility.

"Let's not shoot anymore, we've played enough. I want to use the scenery here to take some photos later," Ding Sihan also shook her head.

"Mhm, I've experienced it and that's enough," Chen Yuying also echoed.

"Alright, then we won't continue," Lin Li leaned lazily on the sofa and nodded. After all, his original purpose for experiencing live-fire shooting was to get close to and use firearms to prepare for possible situations in the apocalypse. And now, [Imitate] had over-completed this task.

If he really encountered this situation in the apocalypse, using this ability would have a good effect.

"And the guns are so heavy, much heavier than I imagined. Plus, the recoil makes my shoulder and chest hurt," Chen Yuying gently rubbed her knit cardigan and complained.

Instinct controlling the big head, Lin Li took a look.

Chen Yuying's curves were indeed excellent. Although not yet considered large, the curves were very obvious. You must know that among Asians, apart from those naturally gifted like Yu Yu, there are very few who are large at this age—of course, this is also related to the fact that no one at this age wears push-up bras.

Especially paired with her tall height among the girls in the class, having taken initial shape was already very impressive.

As the saying goes, a girl changes eighteen times as she grows up. The future is promising; maybe it will be slender branches bearing large fruits.

*Then this rifle is damn bad, the gun is bad, the chest is good.*

"Does it hurt a lot? Class Rep, do you need a massage?" Lin Li was no longer lazy, sat up straight, and asked.

Chen Yuying: "?"

"Eww~~~" Hearing this, Ding Sihan immediately hugged her chest and started jeering loudly.

"Lin~ Li~ When I was shooting just now~~ my hemorrhoids were also shaken so much that they hurt~~" Bai Bufan, fearing the world wouldn't be chaotic enough, also shouted from the side with a pinched voice.

"No need, pervert," Chen Yuying's small face turned bright red. She raised her legs together until her knees pressed against her chest, lowered her eyes, and shrank into the corner of the sofa, as if wanting to hide herself.

"What are you guys doing, what are you doing, what are you doing? I was talking about massaging the shoulder! The shoulder!" Lin Li smiled and defended himself at this time. "Can you guys not have such obscene minds?"

"You better be," Ding Sihan said disdainfully.

Lin Li looked at Ding Sihan.

"What does this look of yours mean again?" Feeling that undisguised gaze of "wringing wrists, sighing, sorrowful, and pitiful" locked onto her hands covering her chest, Ding Sihan narrowed her eyes and said.

"Little Ding Ding, be happier in the future, being happy is good for you," Lin Li advised sincerely.

"Why?" Ding Sihan was still very vigilant.

"Because girls who love to laugh won't have too bad of a figure. Extreme joy leads to an increase in cup size," Lin Li explained.

*(Translator's Note: A pun on the idiom "Extreme joy begets sorrow" (le ji sheng bei). Lin Li changes "bei" (sorrow) to "bei" (cup/bra size)).*

Ding Sihan: "?"

"Who the fuck told you that extreme joy increases this cup! Lin Li, order me another magazine of bullets right now, I have an urgent use for them, hurry!" Ding Sihan fiercely threw the cushion or pillow on the sofa next to her at Lin Li, shouting angrily while reaching out to beg.

"No, you refused it yourself earlier," Lin Li smiled and shook his head.

*What is this urgent use? Could Lin Li not know?*

"Then lend me some money, I'll pay you back immediately," the angry Ding Sihan was still reaching out.

"Pay me back by turning it into bullets and shooting my forehead, right? Not giving it, bleh bleh bleh," Lin Li cheerfully refused.

After speaking, Lin Li looked at Chen Yuying, who was snickering on the side, and shook his head solemnly: "Class Rep, don't laugh either. In my personal opinion, you are just right now. But if you insist on increasing it... that's fine too."

*Long live big breasts! Banzai! Loyalty!*

Chen Yuying: "?"

"Pervert! You're not allowed to say anymore!" The red flush that had just faded *whoosh* came back again.

Sofa pillow next to Lin Li +1.

"My turn, my turn." Seeing this, Bai Bufan felt it was his turn to be attacked and then counterattack. He raised his hand enthusiastically, while his other hand also held a pillow, waiting to throw it at Lin Li's head the next second.

"Do you want to have a pillow fight with me?" Hearing this, Lin Li sneered and pointed at the pile of cushions around him, showing off his ammunition depot.

Bai Bufan blinked. He seemed to only have one pillow.

*Fuck, if Lin Li doesn't counterattack them, he will counterattack me.*

So Bai Bufan decided to negotiate for peace: "Lin Li, do you know what a pillow fight and black people have in common?"

"The harder you fight, the more cotton there is?" Lin Li thought and answered.

"Exactly. Considering these pillows aren't ours, let's call a truce," Bai Bufan nodded, putting the pillow down at the same time. "It wouldn't be good if we broke them."

"Okay."

Coach Shi, who came over with the bill and receipt and happened to hear this sentence: "..."

*You two are having a good time talking.*

*Then who the fuck is going to make up for this portion of merit I just lost.*

...

At the club, after the four took some more photos and bought some souvenirs as mementos, they planned to return the way they came.

"Lost again, where exactly did I lose."

On the subway, Bai Bufan looked at a suspected couple opposite them, an ugly guy and pretty girl combo, and sighed, wringing his wrists.

Hearing this, Lin Li, whose hearing already exceeded that of a normal person, hesitated for a moment after catching the keywords and spoke: "Bufan, have you ever thought that they might be from the same dorm?"

Bai Bufan: "?"

Bai Bufan listened carefully for a moment, only to discover that when the "pretty girl" spoke, it was actually a male voice!

Song Luping once said that although some technicians don't have good massage techniques, they can make people feel very comfortable as soon as they speak.

The "pretty girl" in front of them, although very good-looking, made people uncomfortable as soon as she spoke.

As for whether it was comfortable when she opened her mouth, that was unknown for now.

"So you lost because Baowei refuses to be a tomboy," Lin Li concluded.

"Why does it have to be Baowei! Can't it be Tianming or Zeyu! A feminized Baowei is completely unacceptable!! Wouldn't that just be Po Kong!" Because they were on the subway, Bai Bufan roared softly.

*(Translator's Note: Po Kong is a demon from Jackie Chan Adventures).*

"Anyone is fine."

"Fuck, men are feminizing, women are infantilizing, the young are turning dark (edgy), and the dark are picking cotton. What exactly is wrong with this world."

However, knowing the truth didn't make Bai Bufan feel any better. He sighed even more and issued such a lament.

Hearing this, Lin Li also sighed.

Because Coach Shi couldn't hear this sentence, Lin Li felt it was a pity.

They still had dinner at that restaurant. They ordered the two dishes the four of them liked the most at noon, and other dishes they couldn't experience at noon due to their stomach capacity. The experience was still very good.

Moreover, the faucet in the men's restroom was fixed. It was said to be the result of two customers anonymously complaining one after another at noon. The efficiency was still very good.

Lin Li and Bai Bufan gave a thumbs up to those two customers, and also to the restaurant.

Because the high-speed rail tickets had already been bought in advance, the four didn't stay in Pingjiang any longer and headed to the station, ready to return to Xiling.

"I hope the big sucker Lin continues his efforts. Next week I want to go to Disneyland, preferably abroad, thank you." While waiting for the high-speed rail at the departure level, Ding Sihan said with a smile.

"You still want to go to Disneyland? Little Ding Ding, do you want to see if I look like Disneyland?" Lin Li retorted upon hearing this.

This was Wu Min's most adept move.

Imitation Master!

When Lin Li asked her for something when he was a kid, she would look like whatever it was.

—"You want a Digivice that can summon Greymon? Lin Li, look at your mom, do I look like a Greymon?"

—"You want to eat Gatanothor crab? Lin Li, look at your mom, do I look like this whatever crab?"

Lin Li would usually answer, "No, you look like an incompetent mother who abuses children."

Then Lin Li would use his butt to fiercely beat the feather duster, letting it know the power of his butt.

Hearing this, Ding Sihan looked at him seriously, and her answer was completely different from what Lin Li imagined:

"Eh, Lin Li, now that you mention it, you really do look like it. Otherwise, why would there be a prince here?"

Lin Li: "?"

?

"Hahaha fuck, Ding Sihan, you can really say any fucking bullshit just to free-ride." Seeing that Ding Sihan had no twist and was purely praising him, Lin Li couldn't hold it in anymore.

*What has this child been forced into, to say such things.*

"What are you talking about, it's all sincere," Ding Sihan said sincerely.

Lin Li was moved: "But I'm out of money."

Ding Sihan was also moved: "Poor ghost, get lost."

Lin Li smiled and pointed at Ding Sihan.

"As for later, I'll do my best. Actually... anyway, I'll call you guys when there's an activity."

Lin Li stroked his chin. He was originally ready to speak, but after hesitating for a while, he still didn't say what he originally wanted to say.

Inviting the "three people and one dog" to go for a physical examination together next week... would that seem sick?

This "sick" wasn't just mental; it might even make them feel he was physically sick.

*Damn it, when the time comes, everyone is still a high school student, going to get an ultrasound together?*

Lin Li felt that when that day came, when he supported Bai Bufan to line up at the door of the ultrasound clinic, everyone would definitely look at him with strange eyes, right?

"Bufan, are you interested in going to the hospital?" But Lin Li still asked tentatively.

"What are we going to the hospital for?" Bai Bufan asked in surprise upon hearing this.

"I heard there's an ultrasound." After Lin Li said it, he couldn't hold it in himself first, "Fuck."

*Wait, fuck, this 'fuck' seems to make my words even more fucked up.*

"...Where's the pregnant woman," Bai Bufan forced a serious face and asked.

"That works too," Lin Li accepted the adjustment and nodded with a straight face.

"Hahahahaha fuck! You animal!!"

*(End of Chapter)*