Chapter 245 : Middle-Aged Bai Bufan, Ominous Signs on the Toilet Seat

A terrifying deduction problem was placed in front of Bai Bufan.

If there was no water in the restroom, then what was on Lin Li's hands just now?

What was that liquid flicked onto his face, and some even into his mouth?!

Lin Li's lighthearted laughter and answer just now echoed in Bai Bufan's ears, lingering: ~What~water~it's~urine~

Could it be that this guy who always ran his mouth like a train, for this one time, told the truth...

That kind of thing, please no!

"Lin—! Li—!" Thinking of this, Bai Bufan rushed out of the restroom with red eyes and a red face.

If we can't have red eyes when we meet again~ can we still have red faces~

(Translator's Note: Lyrics from Faye Wong's song "Red Bean").

...

"What happened?" Chen Yuying and Ding Sihan looked in confusion at Lin Li and Bai Bufan, who had returned.

Just now, Lin Li came back first, but within half a minute, Bai Bufan rushed over and dragged Lin Li away again.

Now they were back in less than a minute.

"Nothing, nothing," Bai Bufan smiled awkwardly.

A false alarm.

It turned out there was another sink in the corner of the restroom, originally intended for washing mops and other cleaning tools. There was a faucet there, and that one had water. Lin Li had washed his hands there.

Come to think of it, it was neither the summer when hairs are disobedient nor the winter when things shrink. Lin Li wouldn't be so inaccurate as to pee on his own hands.

"Let's continue eating," Bai Bufan said to the three.

Although confused, Ding Sihan and Chen Yuying didn't press further.

Lin Li was also preparing to continue eating when he suddenly narrowed his eyes.

Starting with zero frames of animation, he fiercely grabbed Bai Bufan's collar, the corner of his mouth curling into a cruel arc as he asked: "Wait a minute, Bai Bufan. So when you fucking came out just now and grabbed my clothes directly, did you not wash your hands?"

Eh?

Bai Bufan blinked, then blinked again. Then he turned his head, reached out his hand, and said in a voice full of childlike innocence:

"Wow, Lin Li, look at these spicy wings, they look really delicious!"

Lin Li: "?"

"You motherfucker!"

...

After lunch, because they weren't in a hurry, and the club's location was relatively remote making a taxi expensive, plus Lin Li and Bai Bufan had never experienced the subway, the four chose to take the subway to the shooting club.

The subway also had security checks. When passing through the security gate, the task progress increased by one.

However, the type naturally didn't change.

Scanning the QR code to pass the turnstile, Lin Li and Bai Bufan looked left and right, their eyes full of scrutiny and curiosity.

After all, these were indeed sights absolutely unseen in Xiling.

Although Nansang wasn't a particularly backward and dilapidated county town, having a Nansang high-speed rail station was already considered prestigious, things like subways were exclusive to big cities. If Pingjiang City could extend a subway line to the Nansang area within ten years, it would be considered a victory.

"Always doing math problems about subways, today I finally get to see one," Bai Bufan sighed softly to Lin Li.

Just like how there was always a Children's Palace in elementary school math problems: "Xiao Ming takes six minutes to walk from home to the 'Children's Palace'," but some people never reach it in their entire lives.

"I've always heard that the subway is the city's intestines, and the passengers are the poop shuttling through it. Finally, we also have the chance to become this piece of poop," Lin Li also sighed softly to Bai Bufan.

Bai Bufan: "?"

Your mom.

Can you express some normal sentiments?

"You're fucking poop even if you don't take the subway, Lin Li."

"No wonder you're such good friends with me, you're coveting my body," Lin Li chose to kill eight hundred enemies at the cost of a thousand to himself.

Although it was the weekend, because the line was relatively remote, there were plenty of seats on the subway, so they couldn't experience what it was like to squeeze into a crowded subway.

The ten-minute subway ride passed in a flash.

"In the past, carriages and horses were slow, and a lifetime was only enough to love one person. Now the subway is fast, and in the time of six stops, I've fallen in love with ten people." After getting off the subway, Lin Li stretched and sighed.

"Then you're pretty useless. I fell in love with at least thirty or forty," Bai Bufan felt he had won completely, then clicked his tongue again. "But tell me, why can even such ugly people fall in love?"

On the weekend subway, there were many couples. Bai Bufan was already annoyed by Lin Li's provocation today, and seeing this made his teeth itch even more, making his aggressiveness a bit stronger.

"Because Midea sells air conditioners." Lin Li was already looking at the map navigation with Chen Yuying, figuring out which subway exit to take, and replied casually upon hearing this.

(Translator's Note: "Midea" (Mei de) sounds like "beautiful ones" (mei de). The joke is "Why do ugly people fall in love? Because the beautiful ones are selling air conditioners").

"...So cold."

The four scanned their codes to exit the station.

Ding Sihan and Chen Yuying planned to go to the restroom, so Lin Li and Bai Bufan waited at the entrance.

"It actually only cost four yuan," Bai Bufan checked the payment information on his phone and sighed again. At the same time, he made up his mind and ignited his fighting spirit: "I must stay in the big city to struggle and fight (da pin) in the future."

"Many years later, after Bai Bufan finished his last jerk-off (da fei ji) and ate his last group-buy meal (pin hao fan) in Pingjiang City, he recalled this vow from today. With a desolate and desperate smile, he took hollow steps towards the restroom, buried his head in the stinking toilet, and ended his life by drowning himself."

An elegant voice slowly drifted over.

Pleasant to hear.

Bai Bufan: "?"

"Lin Li, don't fucking randomly add voiceovers here!"

"And who the fuck told you that 'struggle and fight' (da pin) means jerking off (da fei ji) and eating group-buy meals (pin hao fan)! Apologize to this word right now!"

"Moreover, even if my future life is so desperate that I truly must commit suicide, I wouldn't choose this method, right? Is this a suicide method a human could come up with? If I'm going to commit suicide, at least let me die with some dignity!!"

Bai Bufan practically roared into Lin Li's ear, deafening.

"Oh, oh, sorry," Lin Li admitted his mistake and corrected it. He cleared his throat again and spoke in the tone of a documentary voiceover:

"Many years later, after Bai Bufan finished his last jerk-off and ate his last group-buy meal in Pingjiang City, he recalled this vow from today. With a desolate and desperate smile, he put on a decent second-hand pirated suit, took hollow steps towards the restroom, buried his head in a spotlessly clean toilet, and ended his life by drowning himself."

Bai Bufan: "?"

Wait.

"You just fucking put a suit on me and cleaned the toilet!! And it's a fucking second-hand pirated suit! This isn't the dignity I wanted, you bastard! Do I have to drown in a toilet! At least say a bathtub! Is a bathtub not okay!"

Bai Bufan grabbed Lin Li's sleeve and roared loudly.

Lin Li shook his head without hesitation: "What are you thinking? How could there be such a thing as a bathtub in your crappy rented room? The bathroom is only two square meters. You usually shower squatting on the toilet seat."

Bai Bufan: "?"

He was completely stunned.

It seemed to make some sense.

"Oh, oh, like that, then that's reasonable..." Bai Bufan just slightly loosened his grip when he suddenly realized something was wrong and tightened it again: "No! Reasonable your mom! These are all your fabricated malicious settings, you animal!"

Lin Li was very helpless. He was really hard to please: "Why are you like an asshole, so full of shit?"

Bai Bufan: "?"

He couldn't win in a fight, and he couldn't win in an argument. Bai Bufan decided to sulk and go home to let his mom guess what was wrong.

After the two girls came out, the four walked to the club. It wasn't far, three hundred meters in a straight line, and they arrived in five or six minutes.

The club covered quite a large area.

There was also a security check at the entrance here. If iron objects were detected on a person, they had to be taken out and shown to the staff. To some extent, it was stricter than the subway.

Unfortunately, although the detector held by the staff looked different from those in the subway and high-speed rail, including the security gate, the system's type still didn't change.

It seemed that the "same type of formation" set up by different "people" would be judged as the same by the system.

It seemed that going to the hospital to complete this task was indeed more promising.

"Hello, I have a reservation under the name Lin Li, for four people. Could you check for me?" After all four passed the security check, Lin Li said to the front desk.

"Okay, I've found it. Please wait a moment."

Soon, a male and a female coach walked over.

"Hello everyone, we are your accompanying coaches. My surname is Shi, and hers is Lu. You can call us Coach Shi or add 'Brother' or 'Sister' as a suffix," the man introduced.

"Mhm," Coach Lu also smiled and nodded.

"Hello Coach Shi, Coach Lu."

"Now come with me." The two coaches led the four into the interior of the club. Both sides of the path were lined with pictures and introductions of firearms.

The destination wasn't the shooting range, but an open area inside the club that looked more like a merchandise section. Lin Li saw that there were also priced bullet casing crafts for sale.

The prices weren't too expensive. He could buy a bullet casing keychain as a souvenir when leaving.

As for the casings of the ammunition they bought and fired, they couldn't take a single one away. If they did, the Demon Suppression Division here would come looking for a chat.

"As for the protective gear here, everyone can choose for themselves," Coach Shi pointed to a wall stacked with various shooting equipment like goggles, earmuffs, gloves, vests, kneepads, etc.

"If you are beginners, you must choose goggles and earmuffs. Other protective gear can be matched according to your own needs."

"Then look over here."

"The room with the open door on the left is our club's photo check-in area. Although we will also help you take photos and record videos when you enter the shooting range later, we are not professionals after all. Plus, due to the range's regulations and camera position restrictions, we might not be able to take photos you are satisfied with.

"And this area was specially set up by the club to make up for customers' regrets in this regard.

"We have already set up the scenery inside, and there are also outdoor scenes outside. If you want to take photos yourselves, you can shoot at these spots.

"At the same time, we provide services for renting replica guns, fake grenades, ammo belts, and some decorations. As for the rental fee for these decorative props, as long as your average consumption per person in the club reaches two hundred, the rental fee will be completely waived during the final settlement. So you can rent them with peace of mind, just don't break them."

"Then here is the paper menu, and if you scan the QR code here, there's an electronic menu. You can take a look yourselves to choose what firearms you want to use later.

"My personal suggestion is that for beginners, especially the two girls, handguns are more suitable for live-fire shooting. If you want to try rifles, you can try air guns first.

"As for the boys, coming to a place like this, you probably have your own plans, so I won't say much.

"Then Coach Lu and I will be right here. If you have any questions, whether about firearms or protective gear, you can come ask us immediately."

After a brief introduction, perhaps considering that having outsiders present would make discussing things uncomfortable, the two coaches sat aside and waited.

That was quite nice. At least they wouldn't stand there watching and giving pressure while they looked at the menu.

Ding Sihan and Chen Yuying exchanged a glance. Unsurprisingly, they headed straight for the photo room without even looking at the menu.

Lin Li let them be, while he and Bai Bufan sat on the sofa with the menu.

"Lin Li, do they have the White Tiger-Scar Light automatic rifle?" Bai Bufan rubbed his hands excitedly, looking suspiciously like a fly.

He was still obsessed with his Bai family cultivation method.

"No," Lin Li said disdainfully. He didn't even need to flip through the menu. Bai Bufan was treating this like playing CrossFire.

"Lin Li, do they have the Fire Qilin?"

"No."

"Lin Li, do they have the Golden Rose?"

"...No."

"Then do they have..." Before Bai Bufan could finish his question, Lin Li looked up and interrupted him.

Lin Li sneered: "Bai Bufan, if you fucking keep blabbering, I'll nail your mouth shut."

Bai Bufan blinked and shut his mouth.

Then, after hesitating for a moment, Bai Bufan turned his head to look at Coach Shi not far away and asked: "Coach Shi, do you have nail guns here?"

Coach Shi: "?"

Who the fuck comes to a shooting club to experience a nail gun?

Go out, turn right, walk eight hundred meters, VIP guest for the construction site.

"No," Coach Shi maintained his smile and shook his head.

Regarding this answer, Bai Bufan was not only not disappointed, but he even smiled. He turned his head back to Lin Li and continued asking with a provocative look: "Lin Li, do they have the Star God 98K?"

Lin Li: "..."

Fuck!

This animal asking Coach Shi if they had a nail gun wasn't because he really wanted to play with a nail gun, but to ensure I didn't have anything to nail his broken mouth shut!!

"Coach Shi, do you really not have a nail gun? If not a nail gun, just nails are fine too." So it was Lin Li's turn to look hopefully at Coach Shi.

Coach Shi: "?"

Problem children buy one get one free?

Go out, turn right, walk eight hundred meters, two VIP guests for the construction site.

"No," Coach Shi's smile was getting a bit strained.

Bai Bufan became even more smug: "Lin Li, out of options, huh?"

"Bufan, have you ever heard of a boxing technique that descends from the nails, the Nail Punch?" Lin Li closed the menu and asked in a low voice.

Bai Bufan: "?"

"Wait—"

After taking two Nail Punches, Bai Bufan finally behaved.

The two began to formally choose the types of firearms they would experience later.

There were actually many types, but neither of them were gun enthusiasts. What they knew were nothing more than the famous guns and cannons from games.

And those were basically not available here.

Like the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon.

Like the M917 American-made Smith & Wesson.

"Coach Shi, I want to ask, if we buy ten rounds, can I experience five rounds and he experience five rounds?" Bai Bufan looked up and asked Coach Shi.

Here, except for sniper rifles, live ammunition for other firearms was basically purchased in units of ten rounds.

"Yes, but the one waiting must wait outside behind the glass door. When switching, you must follow my instructions," Coach Shi nodded.

Because during live-fire shooting, the coach must ensure he has the ability to control the space. The number of "outsiders" must never exceed the number of coaches. If Bai Bufan wanted to stand next to Lin Li while he was shooting, there would have to be another coach watching him.

It was possible, but it required an extra fee, which was unnecessary.

"That doesn't matter," Bai Bufan nodded.

"Why are you being so frugal?" Hearing this, Lin Li looked at Bai Bufan and asked in amusement.

"Fuck, any ten rounds is nearly two hundred yuan. If your heart doesn't ache for the money, mine does for you. Save where you should, spend where you should. Instead of spending this money here, you might as well spend it on honoring your desk mate."

Bai Bufan shook his head and said,

"And this way we can experience more types. To be honest, if it wasn't a minimum of ten rounds, I'd really want to just shoot one round of each type."

"That works too. If we haven't had enough fun, we can add more time later," Lin Li nodded.

"I see you're going crazy missing Xiaojing, calling it 'adding time'," Bai Bufan said disdainfully, then lowered his voice and asked softly: "Lin Li, you're well-informed. Is Feifei out yet? Where is she working now? Has she been doing well recently?"

Lin Li: "..."

"Stupid cunt," Lin Li gave a sharp critique.

In the end, the two decided to first experience the classic Type 92 handgun, the AK47 automatic rifle that one simply must try, and the Type 95 sniper rifle.

Just this alone was already six hundred yuan gone.

After confirming with Coach Shi, he went to prepare first.

Staring blankly at Coach Lu here was boring, so Lin Li and Bai Bufan headed to the photo room to see what Chen Yuying and Ding Sihan were doing that took so long.

When Lin Li entered the door, Chen Yuying was standing in front of a full-length mirror, turned sideways, looking back and adjusting the tightness of her tactical vest with her hands.

Her beautiful girlish curves were fully revealed. Hearing the sound, she looked up.

She had already put on a pair of black goggles, the lenses slightly reflective. A pair of noise-canceling earmuffs hung around her neck, the black shell of the earmuffs forming a sharp contrast with her beige cardigan.

The tactical vest on her body unexpectedly matched her light blue denim skirt. A few fake grenades hung on the ammo belt around her waist, swaying with her body movements.

A pair of pure black tactical gloves perfectly fit the curves of her hands, not looking bulky at all.

"How is it?" Seeing that it was Lin Li who came in, Chen Yuying turned 270 degrees left and right somewhat shyly, then asked.

"Class Rep, if your dog gets lost, I won't help you find it." Hearing this, Lin Li shook his head, stroked his chin, and commented expressionlessly.

"Huh?" Seeing this reaction, Chen Yuying felt slightly disappointed and a bit uneasy. Pinching her gloves, she seemed a bit at a loss: "Why?"

Lin Li: "Because I will take its place."

Lin Li's voice suddenly became sincere, answering quickly.

"Pfft—" She was stunned for a moment, then Chen Yuying, wearing gloves, made a fist to cover her lips and laughed out loud.

Lin Li is Lin Li. You never know what method he will use to praise you.

Even guessing what he would say had become a very interesting game. Although she could never guess it, it was still interesting.

Scared me to death, I thought he wasn't going to praise me this time.

"Ahhhh Lin Li Lin Li, ahhhh my dog is lost too, what should I do!!" Ding Sihan started with her classic battle cry. At this moment, she ran in from outside with an "anxious" face, spun around, and asked expectantly.

Ding Sihan's own outfit was already a cool pure black. With the addition of the props here, she looked even more heroic and valiant.

"No need to look for it, I'll give Bai Bufan to you. I've already asked before: he doesn't shed, he can use the toilet at a designated spot, and he's had his vaccines. It's just that his personality isn't very docile, and he bites when he's anxious."

Hearing this, Lin Li pushed Bai Bufan forward with a Nail Punch, waved his hand, and said casually.

There was no nail gun, and he happened to not be able to find a place to dispose of Bai Bufan. He was originally planning to send him to a dog meat restaurant, but since Ding Sihan came, he'd let her raise him.

Ding Sihan, Bai Bufan: "?"

(End of Chapter)