Chapter 239 : Zhang Haoyang Come Here, I Need to Ask You Something

Lin Li stopped the timer on his backup phone immediately.

One minute and forty-one seconds.

Five hours in the apocalypse, and only one minute and forty-one seconds had passed in reality.

The time flow ratio was about 1:180, and that one second was probably an operational error.

Whichever world he was in, that world was the slower one. That meant, if he traveled there early next Monday morning, about 56 minutes would pass in the alternate world?

Based on his past two experiences, it was indeed about right.

"Is the time flow really this subjective? Why does it use me as the reference point?"

"Or is it actually using the system as the reference point? For example, is this apocalyptic world itself an extension of the system?"

He couldn't figure out the answers to these questions even if he racked his brains, so Lin Li simply gave up.

He checked himself. The situation was similar to last time; no zombie-related flesh or blood was brought back. When Lin Li took out the plastic box from his pocket—the ant corpse and leg inside were gone.

In other words, ant corpses could be brought from reality to the apocalypse, but couldn't be brought back from the apocalypse to reality.

*Great. This way, if I die in the apocalypse, my corpse won't be teleported back to scare Wu Min when the time is up! The system is so considerate!*

Lin Li gave the system a thumbs up. *Details show true warmth. It really is so sweet, Lin Li could cry.*

On the system interface, the third lit-up button now displayed a number: "20".

It wasn't a countdown, just a fixed 20.

Honestly, Lin Li had a bit of a guess as to what this number meant.

Just like how there was only one free refresh per week, could this button be used to refresh the number of times he could travel to the apocalyptic world each week?

Did the appearance of this number mean it cost "20" system currency to refresh once?

But Lin Li had no intention of clicking it.

Units are very important.

Who knew if this unit might be "20 wives the host could marry with his future romantic luck".

Until he was certain, Lin Li still wouldn't click it.

Remembering that Bai Bufan was still waiting for his message, Lin Li picked up his phone.

[Lin Li: I'm fine now. I just rubbed one out, and suddenly I don't feel sick anymore. No need to ask for leave for me tomorrow, or rather, today.]

*(Translator's Note: Lin Li uses the symbol "∠" (angle/jiao), which is internet slang for "胶" (jiao/glue), meaning to jerk off).*

[Bai Bufan: ?]

[Bai Bufan: So my breakfast is saved?]

*Never forgetting his original intention.*

[Bai Bufan: Are you really fine or faking it? Don't push yourself. If you need to take leave, take leave. If you need to rest, rest. If you need to pass away, pass away.]

Ignored. They would see each other in a few hours anyway. Lin Li washed up and went to rest.

...

"According to unofficial history, back at the White Gate Tower in Xiapi, when Cao Cao saw Lu Bu brought to him tied up, he actually had the intention of subduing this number one fierce general of the Three Kingdoms. So he asked, 'Are you willing to surrender and be my running dog?'

"Hearing this, Lu Bu was overjoyed. This was exactly what he wanted, so he immediately answered loudly: 'Bu is willing to surrender!'

"Hearing this, Cao Cao dropped the idea: 'Indeed, fierce generals all have their pride. Then I shall grant you a glorious death!'

"And so Lu Bu was strangled and beheaded."

Bai Bufan's voice was always so recognizable.

*Wild knowledge plus one.*

"How come the 'glorious death' I heard of is different from yours?" Entering through the front door and handing Chen Yuying her breakfast, Lin Li walked to the back row and said with a smile.

"'Humans should fuck humans, and monsters should fuck monsters. This is the rule of nature and the cycle of life!'" Hearing this, Bai Bufan raised his arms and shouted, "This is the glorious death you heard of, right?"

"Bingo!" Lin Li snapped his fingers.

The Demon Lord was truly the most morally upright character in *Labyrinth Bang*, bar none.

Breakfast was distributed.

Lin Li was just about to ask if any homework was being collected later, but the corner of his mouth twitched.

"You two damn bastards."

He saw that after Bai Bufan and Zhou Baowei took their breakfast, Bai Bufan took out a bottle of alcohol spray from his desk and started spraying it to disinfect the food. Meanwhile, Zhou Baowei, wearing a mask, was eagerly waiting for Bai Bufan to finish so it would be his turn.

*Being so particular about disinfection, who are they guarding against? So hard to guess.*

"Lin Li, open your mouth, this is breath freshener." After spraying his breakfast, Bai Bufan held the alcohol, turned his head, and looked at Lin Li.

The eager Zhou Baowei: *What about me?*

Lin Li also smiled and pointed at his own arm: "Bufan, look up, this is a breathing-obstruction scarf."

Bai Bufan: "?"

"Wait!"

The breath freshener wasn't sprayed, but the scarf was indeed applied.

"My mistake, my mistake, my mistake!" Bai Bufan, who almost ended up like Lu Bu, rubbed his neck after Lin Li let go and asked curiously: "What exactly happened to you last night? Are you still feeling unwell now?"

"I'm fine. Feeling sick last night was an illusion."

"Oh, an illusion. Sigh, an illusion."

"Is it really that much of a pity?" Lin Li smiled.

"Haha, how could it be? I was so worried about you last night that I kept praying for you. I was even learning the *Mantra for Rebirth in Pure Land* and the *Scripture of Salvation*." Bai Bufan focused on brotherly loyalty, then sighed: "Lin Li, what do you think happens after a person dies?"

"You get a new desk mate and welcome a beautiful tomorrow. It's the same whether you die or I die."

"Reasonable."

...

"Ring—"

After the last class of the afternoon, the dismissal bell rang. After the geography teacher packed up his lesson plans and left the classroom, the room instantly became noisy.

Bai Bufan, who had been standing at the back for the whole class, happily trotted back to his seat:

"Let's go, downstairs! Bloody battle with Class 3! Let those Math Olympiad nerds who only know how to study know the power of us regular classes!"

As for why Bai Bufan was standing at the back during class, it was because the teacher asked him why buildings in the Middle East have thick walls and small windows.

The correct answer was that the Middle East is mainly a subtropical and tropical desert climate with a large temperature difference between day and night. Thick walls and small windows help with heat insulation and cold protection.

But Bai Bufan's answer was: "Thick walls are good for bulletproofing, and small windows are convenient for shooting."

And then he was made to stand.

For this once, Lin Li was willing to speak up for Bai Bufan's injustice. Bufan's answer was flawless!

Of course, if you asked Lin Li if he *actually* spoke up for him.

That would be a different story.

"Let's go!" Lin Li nodded and began to stretch his muscles.

Starting this week, the fun events would gradually begin their competitions. Events like tug-of-war, which couldn't be held multiple times in a short period and only allowed two participating teams at a time, naturally had to start early.

Today was the first round of the competition. There was no drawing of lots for this round; it was simply Class 1 vs. Class 2, Class 3 vs. Class 4, and so on.

The drawing of lots would only start from the top ten.

"I've already scouted Class 3," Chen Tianming came over and said at this time.

"What's their level?" Bai Bufan asked.

"I'm already studying our opponents for the finals," Chen Tianming replied.

Bai Bufan: "..."

"If we lose because of this flag you just planted, you better get ready to do a handstand and fuck the sky, Tianming," Bai Bufan commented.

"Don't worry, it's a sure win. I feel like their whole class's combined weight isn't even as heavy as Baowei," Chen Tianming waved his hand, then looked somewhat expectant: "I hope Class 17 can also advance and face us in the end. That way, regardless of winning or losing, it will become a topic Qiaoqiao and I can talk about."

Zhou Baowei: "Chen Tianming, what the fuck am I in your eyes?"

Chen Tianming, who had entered simp mode, ignored him.

"His and Qiaoqiao's sex toy," Lin Li answered for him.

"What kind of toy?"

"A collar, obviously," Bai Bufan answered.

"That's reasonable," Zhou Baowei nodded, then punched his palm, his words carrying murderous intent:

"In order to increase my counterweight for the match this afternoon, I deliberately didn't even poop. This time, we will definitely win."

Lin Li, Bai Bufan: "?"

"When we do the tug-of-war later, you must stand at the very back. If you stand at the front, I'm not playing, I'm withdrawing from the match," the two said in unison.

Humans can break their limits when exerting force.

Standing behind Zhou Baowei? They absolutely did not want that.

Especially since they had to shout the slogan "One, two, pull!" later. Who knew where Zhou Baowei might actually "pull" (poop).

Zhou Baowei: "?"

"Don't worry, a mature and steady man like me will definitely stand at the very back of the rope as the magic anchoring needle," Zhou Baowei said calmly.

"I can see the 'steady' and 'heavy', but you got 'mature' backwards. You look 'aged'," Lin Li commented.

Zhou Baowei: "..."

"Old Jian Head is here, come out quickly, let's go," Wang Ze poked his head in at the door and shouted to the group.

Tug-of-war was a mixed-gender event, eight boys and eight girls. Only the freshmen had this competition, because after the class division in the second year, some classes might not be able to scrape together eight boys or eight girls.

Monk classes and nun classes just had no human rights.

For this kind of class competition, the students who weren't participating naturally had to go down to cheer for the class. So Class 4 formed a line first, then loosely headed downstairs.

Basketball court.

When the people from Class 4 came down, there were already many people on the court, as many classes were gathered here.

However, the school only prepared four tug-of-war ropes, so some classes had to wait for other classes to finish.

"That little loli is so cute," Zhang Haoyang pointed into the distance and said in a low voice.

By the court, a beautifully dressed little girl was particularly conspicuous because she was wearing a bubble skirt instead of a school uniform. She was standing on her tiptoes, trying hard to poke her head out from the crowd, clutching a melting lollipop in her hand.

She was probably some teacher's daughter.

"People like you should be lined up and given a bullet each." Hearing this, Lin Li glanced at Zhang Haoyang.

"Really? Give me one!" Zhang Haoyang got energized, possessed by Pan Hong.

"Lin Li, why did I receive a 5.56?" Bai Bufan raised his hand and asked in confusion.

"If I didn't say that, would you have come?" Lin Li didn't even try to act.

Zhang Haoyang: "..."

*You two motherfuckers.*

"Still sending the address? Still going?" Lin Li looked at Zhang Haoyang.

"Send it! But I have a request. 5.56 bullets are still too big. Can we change to a smaller size, like .22 or something? I like them small," Zhang Haoyang nodded, but sincerely gave his suggestion.

Lin Li: "?"

*He wants the smallest one for this too?*

*Fuck.*

"You're really fucking incorrigible!!" Lin Li laughed and scolded.

"Don't worry, I'm purely obsessed with 2D. If someone really refines copper in reality, their whole family is guaranteed to die suddenly," Zhang Haoyang explained with a smile, suppressing the murderous intent of Lin Li and the others.

*(Translator's Note: "Refining copper" (lian tong) is a Chinese internet homophone for pedophilia).*

"By the way, Bufan, do you want to go shoot guns together this weekend?" Mentioning 5.56 suddenly reminded Lin Li of this matter, so he turned to ask Bai Bufan.

Last week, because time was too rushed, Lin Li gave up on experiencing live-fire shooting.

But this weekend was a normal one, and now Lin Li had money and free time. Since he had this idea, he would go realize it.

Going alone was a bit boring. Enjoying alone is not as good as enjoying together, so Lin Li planned to drag Bai Bufan along.

He could also ask the girls later.

*When one person gets rich, even their chickens and dogs ascend to heaven!*

"Tianming said your size isn't right. I'm not shooting with you, I'm afraid of feeling inferior," Bai Bufan refused.

Lin Li: "...I'm talking about playing with real guns."

"Real guns? How do you play with real guns?" Hearing this, Bai Bufan became confused instead.

"I plan to go to a live-fire shooting club this weekend to try real guns. I'm asking if you want to go?"

"Huh? How do we go? Where? Where do we have a place like that around here?" Bai Bufan looked bewildered, having never heard of it.

"There's a live-fire shooting club in the Yushun District of Pingjiang. My plan is to take the high-speed rail there on Saturday morning, experience shooting in the afternoon, and take the high-speed rail back in the evening. A round trip on the same day," Lin Li explained his plan.

He had never experienced live-fire shooting, and growing up, because he wasn't keen on traveling, Lin Li had never taken a plane, high-speed rail, or subway.

These were all things he could experience.

"Can we go play at our age?" Bai Bufan asked.

"We can. I asked their customer service online. It's just that the firearms we can use will be fewer," Lin Li nodded. He had already scouted this out online beforehand.

"I'm a bit tempted," Bai Bufan nodded. What boy didn't have the dream of playing with real guns? "About how much will it cost, including the round-trip tickets?"

"The tickets won't cost much, just two stops, about sixty for the round trip. Including the consumption inside the club, if we shoot a few more magazines, it'll probably be over a thousand," Lin Li told the truth.

"Oh, just... how much?!" Bai Bufan grabbed Lin Li's collar and his voice cracked. "Over a thousand?!"

*That's three Spring Breeze Elves!*

He still needed to save this money to go back and be a *xian chong*!

*Xian chong*—recharging real (xian) money into the 2D world.

*(Translator's Note: "Xian chong" usually means a "normie" with a fulfilling real life, but here Bai Bufan puns it).*

Although he had this dream, if it was at this price point, it wasn't like the dream couldn't be suppressed a bit.

After all, only the unreachable is called a dream.

Bai Bufan felt he was doing this to maintain the dignity of his dream.

"I'll treat you to the club consumption," Lin Li chuckled disdainfully upon hearing this.

Bai Bufan: "?"

Bai Bufan let go of Lin Li's collar, carefully helped him straighten it out, and asked softly: "Say that again?"

"My treat," Lin Li repeated.

"You're going to treat me to over a thousand yuan worth of bullets?" Bai Bufan couldn't believe it.

"Mhm."

"You have that kind of money?"

"Mhm."

"Lin Li, do you have a mirror?"

"No."

"Hehe," Bai Bufan sneered and mocked: "Lin Li, if you don't have a mirror, you at least have urine, right? Do you want to take a piss and look at your reflection to see if you look like my dad?"

Lin Li, who was all prepared to counterattack, froze when he heard the last word.

With Bai Bufan saying it like that, his train of thought was completely interrupted.

"Dad, why aren't you speaking? Do you not even have urine? It's okay, I have some. I'll pee for you. Don't worry, I drank a lot of water today, it definitely won't be yellow, it won't affect your peerless beauty," Bai Bufan's tone was extremely flattering.

As expected of Bai Bufan, specializing in being a great man who can bend and yield.

"Then don't pee on my shoes, otherwise I'll slap you," Lin Li said with a smile.

"No, Lin Li, are you serious? Where did you strike it rich recently? Are you really treating?" Bai Bufan was very confused. "Or does this shop have some kind of promotion?"

"I'll explain the details later, let's do the tug-of-war first," Lin Li gestured forward with his chin.

The referee had already come over and started using a dustpan filled with powder to redraw the line on the ground that determined victory or defeat, making it clearer.

Everyone started taking their positions.

There was some strategy to the tug-of-war positioning. For Class 4, Zhuo Yongfei and Chen Tianming stood at the very front, Zhou Baowei the magic anchoring needle was at the very back, and the other boys and girls were arranged in the middle according to height.

So Lin Li, the tallest in Class 4, became the second-to-last position.

"Are these few the people from Class 3?" Bai Bufan narrowed his eyes, sizing up the Class 3 students opposite them who had also started taking their positions, and waved his hand coolly: "Tianming is right, they're just a bunch of nobodies. We don't even need to activate Plan B."

At this moment, Lin Li had no time to pay attention to Bai Bufan.

He was "ice skating."

*(Translator's Note: "Ice skating" is Chinese slang for doing crystal meth).*

Looking at the goods handed to him by the person in front, Lin Li pinched a tiny bit of powder, placed it on the webbing between his thumb and index finger, carefully spread it out, then pressed one nostril closed, leaned in with the other, and took a fierce sniff.

After savoring it for a few seconds, Lin Li frowned, shook his head, and looked at the other party:

"Boss, this stuff isn't pure. The quality isn't hitting the spot. Or did I use the wrong method, do I need a different way?"

Xue Jian: "..."

Old Jian Head's mouth twitched frantically.

*You motherfucker.*

*Why are this little brat Lin Li's movements so practiced?!*

If a student he taught turned out to be someone who snorted this stuff, his reputation would be completely ruined.

But fortunately, it was Lin Li doing this, so it was somewhat normal.

Xue Jian suppressed the urge to dump all the anti-slip powder in his hand onto Lin Li's forehead, afraid the kid would get high on the spot, and scolded: "Behave yourself, hurry up and rub it on your hands."

"Alrighty," Lin Li nodded, reached out, grabbed a handful of anti-slip powder, and rubbed it on his hands.

This powder could firstly increase friction, and secondly protect the hands from being scratched by the rough rope.

"Lin Li, Bai Bufan, and everyone, do your best," Chen Yuying, with a camera hanging around her neck, cheered for everyone from the side.

Chen Yuying wasn't very strong, so she didn't participate in this event.

"Don't worry, Class Rep. I've opened my heavenly eye, how could we lose?" Lin Li used the anti-slip powder to dot a "heavenly eye" on his forehead, then gave a two-finger salute.

"That's best," Chen Yuying smiled, raised the camera around her neck, and took a picture of the cocky Lin Li.

Class 3 didn't seem to have anyone particularly strong, and for this kind of collective strength, Lin Li didn't need to hide anything; he just needed to use his full strength.

Tug-of-war is best two out of three. If they lost the first round, Lin Li would just activate [Charge] and super double it.

So Lin Li alone could match several people.

"Damn it, why am I included in 'everyone', but you two get names." Wang Ze, sandwiched between Lin Li and Bai Bufan, focused on the wrong point.

"You can get ready." The referee blew a whistle, and the surroundings quieted down.

"Whichever side the red rope is pulled over the line wins. Neither side use force right now! If you use force early, I'll directly declare a loss! Best two out of three. During the match, you must remain standing, no sitting or lying on the ground, and intentionally letting go is not allowed..."

After explaining the rules, the referee put the whistle in his mouth.

"Beep—"

"Go! Go! Class 4! Go!"

"Class 3! Go! Class 3! Go!"

"One—two—pull!!! One—two—pull!!!"

"Wang Ze!!"

In an instant, massive shouts rang out in this area, deafening.

There was indeed a gap in strength between the two sides. The red rope moved one-sidedly towards Class 4.

"One, two, pull!!"

"Wang Ze!!"

"One, two, pull!!"

"Wang Ze!!"

"Beep—"

Only a dozen seconds after the match started, the whistle blew, and the first round ended!

The winner was naturally Class 4.

"Class 4 wins! Five-minute interval before the second round starts!"

"We are the champions!! We are the champions!!" Although they hadn't completely won yet, based on the one-sided situation of the match just now, the result was actually already decided.

"Lin Li!! We are the champions!" Wang Ze turned around, excitedly shaking Lin Li's shoulders, conveniently wiping the anti-slip powder from his hands onto Lin Li's clothes.

Although he didn't know why Lin Li shouted his name instead of following everyone's slogan during the match, perhaps this was their bond.

Until Wang Ze noticed that the look in Lin Li's eyes was a bit off.

"Wh-what's wrong?" Wang Ze asked in confusion.

Lin Li looked down.

So Wang Ze also looked down.

"Yo, Lin Li, nice taste. The pattern on the upper of your shoe is exactly the same as the pattern on the sole of my shoe!" Wang Ze 'pleasantly' discovered that the two of them actually had highly identical aesthetics!

Lin Li didn't speak, just smiled.

"Haha, no wonder I felt the ground was uneven just now, but I was only focused on pulling and didn't pay attention. So it was you causing trouble, you naughty boy." Wang Ze patted Lin Li's shoulder heavily and said with a smile.

Lin Li didn't speak, just smiled.

"You kept shouting my name. Honestly, I was quite moved. I thought you wanted me to work hard with you, or that my name could give you strength, haha."

Lin Li didn't speak, just smiled.

Wang Ze really couldn't laugh anymore now. He pressed Lin Li's shoulders and asked slowly, sincerely and expectantly:

"Bro, you'll still help me bring breakfast tomorrow, right?"

Lin Li shook his head with a look of 'I really can't do anything about you', and said to Wang Ze with a smile:

"Making three hard-to-realize wishes at once, Student Wang? So greedy, do you think I'm Aladdin's magic lamp?"

Wang Ze: "?"

*(End of Chapter)*