Chapter 73

Oh, look at him trying that hard to stop me.

—What will you do?

The writer asked through my in-ear monitor.

I looked up at Yunjin, seated at the judges’ table.

He was smiling at me, the ends of his eyebrows drooping.

The fifth of Young Ace’s six members. The one directly above me in age. A pushover who could never say a word back to his younger brother and always let himself get walked all over like an idiot.

It was the same hopelessly gentle expression that man always wore.

“......”

“......”

After holding his gaze for a moment, I asked the writer,

“Could I borrow a guitar?”

At my request, the production crew lent me a spare. They seemed happy to oblige, probably because they could already tell it would make good television.

I slung the guitar over my shoulder and glared upward—more precisely, at Yunjin.

“I’ll perform an original song.”

The moment I placed my fingers on the chord and dragged them down across the strings, Yunjin’s eyes widened.

Young Ace’s fifth full-length album had included the title track and one solo song for each of the six members.

Naturally, every last one of those songs had been written by Baek Hanje.

Track 6. Journey

(song by Yunjin)

This song was no exception.

It was a rock ballad I had written while thinking of the most sensitive person among the six of us, the kind of man who never knew what to do with himself over even the smallest things.

He had the softest heart of us all, yet he had thrown himself into every variety show imaginable to make the group’s name known. No matter how badly he got knocked around, all he could ever do was laugh it off.

I had written the lyrics while remembering how he used to sing every line during recording, pressing all his emotions deep into every word.

—On a weary night dreaming withered dreams

Time always tilts toward somewhere

And we sway, trapped between the hands of a clock

“...Wow.”

A brief murmur of admiration from one of the judges burst through the microphone.

I moved to the next chord and opened my mouth. The original arrangement had a full band behind it, but a guitar was more than enough for now.

—Your lengthening sighs and the tears you held back

Reach me even when you never speak them aloud

Several years ago, in the studio.

Yunjin had sat there for a very long time, silently listening to the guide track I had recorded.

Only after replaying it over and over, tracing each syllable on the lyric sheet one by one, had he finally taken off his headphones.

“Thank you. Let’s record.”

Recording sessions were even more merciless for the Young Ace members, but that day had ended in an unusually short amount of time.

After only two or three takes, I raised both hands in surrender and spun around in my swivel chair.

“Why are you so good? It’s pissing me off.”

“The song’s good, that’s why. I’m happy I get to benefit from our youngest, so why are you getting annoyed?”

“I thought I could finally give you a hard time legally for constantly disappearing whenever you felt like it.”

“Hmm... should I buy you something tasty?”

—May these hours spent wandering

Become comfort in the future

May they become a map for our journey as we take each other’s hands

I could feel it every time I reached a high note.

My vocal cords were soft and flexible.

The habits I had developed from around the time my voice finished changing and settled into its permanent tone were mixing with this younger voice.

It created a timbre that sounded slightly unfamiliar even to me.

It was difficult to control, but it was not bad for singing a song imbued with someone else’s emotions.

The lyrics climbed steadily toward their peak.

And finally—

—At the end of this arduous journey, we

Will turn off the light we kept burning because we could not rest

And fall into a very deep sleep

The final note stretched out softly.

One of the judges dropped their pen as though throwing it down, wearing a defeated expression. Another had both hands clamped over their mouth.

And Yunjin—

“......”

He rested his chin on one hand and smiled brightly, exactly as he used to whenever the youngest member sang.

His lips quietly followed the lyrics I had once given him.

...This is why I can never say anything to him.

Despite the fact that it had been years since I had last seen him, he made one thing absolutely certain.

He was not some musical actor named Yunjin.

He was Yunjin of Young Ace.

The vocals had ended, but the accompaniment remained. I continued playing from memory until—

Drrring—

I slid my hand across the strings and brought the song to a close.

“Thank you.”

When I raised my head, there was a brief silence before a tremendous cheer erupted.

Along with the five judges, the contestants and staff were applauding as well.

I had complained that making someone with my years of experience audition was ridiculous, but regardless of that, the moment after finishing a performance and hearing people cheer was inevitably exhilarating.

Even after my prime had completely passed, even as the number of stages available to me dwindled, I would probably chase this feeling forever....

“Wow, for a second I thought I was watching The Dignity of a Singer, not Debut Chart!”

The choreographer seated at the far left of the judges’ table was the first to offer praise.

“You would pass on vocals alone, but you wrote this song too? Trainee Baek Hanje, are you interested in signing with our company right now? We need to get the CEO out here for this.”

The seven-year boy-group veteran sitting beside them spoke next.

Sorry, junior. As long as Kwon Taeyoung remains a division head, I have to leave my bones at K-Dom.

There was no need to evaluate me. Mine was the best vocal performance they had heard all day.

After more comments like that—

“Let’s just press the buttons. I think we’ve already reached a conclusion.”

The experienced singer seated in the center made the suggestion.

At those words, the five judges entered their scores.

The grades they had assigned appeared on the panels in front of them.

S, A, S, S, A

Three judges had given me an S.

Two had given me an A.

The ironic part was that both of the people who had given me the lower grade were members of Young Ace.

The host continued in an excited voice.

—This is the highest score any trainee has received so far! We need to hear from Judge Yunjin and Judge Big Room, who awarded an A! What minor flaw did you find in this otherwise perfect performance that everyone else praised?

Bangwon was quicker to take the microphone.

“Well... he said he was a rapper, but he didn’t rap.”

To be honest, after looking at Yunjin, I had felt the faintest spark of hope as I wondered, Could he be one too?

But then—

“We’ve confirmed your producing and vocal ability, so next time, I look forward to hearing a freestyle rap.”

...Anyone who tried to make me rap could never be a member of Young Ace.

That man was a fake.

“It was an excellent performance, but the person singing seemed completely dissatisfied with it. It would be difficult to give the highest grade to a performance like that.”

Meanwhile, my certainty about the man who had sharply caught the faint dissatisfaction I had quietly buried only grew stronger.

The judges’ scores were averaged to determine the final grade.

As a result, I received an S and was assigned to the highest tier of seats positioned beside the left side of the stage.

As I climbed the stairs, Gowon, seated in the C-grade section, stared at me with wide eyes.

“...You....”

“Hmm?”

“......”

He hesitated briefly, then whipped his head away.

Yes, good decision. Face the wall and reflect on what you’ve done.

Getting an S was this easy, yet he had earned a C with that face.

After sitting in the upper section reserved for S-grade trainees and enduring several more hours, all one hundred boys finally finished the performances they had prepared.

Then we stood separated by grade and filmed the footage that would be used as the opening of Episode One.

Only after that did filming finally end for the day.

The moment the signal was given, I sprang out of my seat and followed someone.

My target noticed that I was following him and deliberately headed toward a deserted corridor.

“Yunjin.”

Only when he reached the emergency-exit door did he stop walking and turn around.

At last, I stood face-to-face with him, close enough to touch if I reached out.

“Haa....”

Yunjin pressed his lips tightly together, raked his fingers through his bangs, scrubbed both hands over his face, then tipped his head back and exhaled.

A small part of me had still been afraid that I might be mistaken, so I stopped one step away from him.

“Youngest.”

That one word made it clear.

“Why are you here?!”

A shout finally burst out of me.

“You’re the one who should be asking what kind of place this is before coming here... No, haa.... I think I know why. So you ended up getting dragged into this too.”

“What are you talking about? ...You are Yunjin, right? You’re really Yunjin?”

“If by ‘the real Yunjin’ you mean Yunjin of Young Ace, then yes.”

“......”

His high, beautiful voice for a man and his listless manner were both unmistakably Yunjin.

But why was Yunjin not shocked to see me at seventeen?

Why was he accepting this situation far more calmly than I was, when I was the one it had happened to?

The instinctive sense of incongruity prickled sharply at my nerves.

“Do you know something?”

“About what?”

“...About this situation, and... the fact that I came here because of a quest....”

“Oh. So you call it a quest.”

Yunjin lowered his gaze from me and let out a long sigh.

“...I called it a ‘blessing.’”

“!”

“It appears when someone is in danger and wishes for something desperately enough. You probably wished for Young Ace to succeed back then.”

“...Yeah.”

“And you have to pay a price equal to the benefit you receive.”

Another sigh, almost a lament, burst from Yunjin.

“Baek Hanje, I knew this would happen to you! Why would you take the success of all six members onto your shoulders by yourself? How did you think you were going to repay that? You could get yourself killed!”

“W-What?”

“Do you know why I worked myself to death running from one variety show to another? I was trying to keep at least my share from piling onto your debt!”

“What else was I supposed to wish for in that situation besides Young Ace’s success? Wait. Does that mean you knew all along that I was completing quests?”

“Did it never occur to you that you made no effort whatsoever to hide it? You were muttering to yourself at all hours.”

“No, I wasn’t! Anyone would just think a kid was talking nonsense! Who would conclude that I was completing some bizarre quests? None of the others know! You’re the only one!”

“...Is that... so...?”

Even in the middle of all this, the way he immediately shrank into himself when I pushed slightly harder was definitely Yunjin....

“Anyway, you came here because of that junior named Gowon, right?”

“......!”

...But every time he opened his mouth about the quests, that alien feeling returned.

I had already experienced more strange things than I could count. I could not be certain that the person in front of me was truly Yunjin.

Seeing me falter backward, Yunjin tilted his head.

“Hanje.”

“...Yeah.”

“When you were eighteen, you got curious and stole the older members’ alcohol. I tore a ligament in my wrist trying to stop them from beating you to death.”

“......”

“After the music-video shoot, you were furious because Taeyoung was restricting your diet, so you smuggled pork trotters into my room. That part was fine, but then you got sick, and because we were punished collectively, I had to cover every last one of your individual schedules—”

“O-Okay. I get it! I said I get it!”