Chapter 63

His heart pounded so fiercely that he found it strangely impossible to control.

It continued even after they left Seoul behind and reached the neighborhood of low-rise apartment buildings lined with dim streetlights.

When the showcase ended, he had felt so exhausted he could collapse, but as he fiddled with the card, he somehow found himself already standing in front of the house.

“Go on up first. I have a call to make.”

After sending his family inside ahead of him, Gowon leaned against the wall and searched for the number of the person filling his thoughts.

A streetlight covered in cobwebs flickered as though it might go out at any moment.

But the light that refused to be fully obscured spilled down over him. Its wavering texture resembled light shining underwater.

The deepest light.

Those few words made his surroundings feel not even slightly dark.

After a brief ring, Hanje answered.

“Hanje.”

—What? You said you were going home. Why are you calling at this hour?

The reply was dry compared to the emotions surging through Gowon like waves. Even so, he was happy right now.

“I got the flowers.”

—Jonghyeok must’ve passed them along.

“They were beautiful.”

—Yeah, yeah. How admirable. You probably want to collapse and sleep after the performance, but you’re still making the rounds to thank people.

“...Yes.”

His emotions were still overflowing, yet the words that came out of his mouth were pitifully inadequate. Hanje’s voice over the speaker sounded as though he might say, “Then get some rest,” and hang up at any second. Gowon hurriedly searched for another topic.

“Newton came to see me earlier.”

—Did they beat you up again?

“...No. They never beat me up before either, and we get along now.”

—Good. You little rookies should be nice to each other. But if they bully you later, make sure you tell me.

At some point, standing in front of Hanje had begun to stir up a storm of emotions inside him.

That enormous mass, unlike anything Gowon had ever felt before, was made up of so many different things that he could hardly count them all.

Gratitude, respect, embarrassment—feelings he recognized—and something else crouched among them whose identity he could not understand at all.

That was why Hanje was difficult.

That was why Hanje....

“.......”

Suddenly, he felt as though he could faintly identify one of those unknown emotions.

When I talk to Hanje, I feel like a child.

Only six years separated them. It was even less than the age gap between Gowon and his youngest brother.

And yet Hanje showed him a clear direction like some immense adult and took responsibility for the words he spoke.

He also gave Gowon so much as though it were nothing.

Gowon had always believed standing alone was only natural, but Hanje had become someone he leaned on without realizing it.

“Newton said they were jealous of me.”

—Oh, really?

“I used to be someone who had nothing....”

At some point, people started telling me they envied me.

That only started after I met you.

The conflicts with Kim Eumyul and Newton had certainly not been good things. But because of them, Gowon had tried for the first time to protect something precious in his arms from people who coveted what was his.

Put another way, it meant he had finally gained something other people envied and wanted.

“Thank you. For the song, and for the gift you gave me today.”

—...Sure, well. But it’s not like I helped you because I find you especially adorable.

Gowon knew that Hanje’s kindness toward him was not entirely pure.

Kwon Taeyoung’s achievements mattered far more to him than Gowon’s success. And to Hanje, giving him a single song might have been insignificant compared to the debt Gowon felt he owed.

...But the meaning of something also depends on the person receiving it.

Hanje had filled in the gaps left by a childhood that had forced Gowon to stand on his own too early, and had given him the dream of becoming an ideal adult.

Gowon held that deeply personal meaning tightly inside himself.

“...Someday, I’ll repay you.”

So that he could become someone capable of repaying all these miracles.

Of course, you little punk. Grow up strong and take good care of me. Gowon thought he had expected an answer like that—something unmistakably Hanje.

But Hanje was silent for a moment.

—Gowon.

“Yes.”

—You always had a lot.

A brief sigh came through the speaker like the sound of wind.

—You just never noticed because you always walked around with your head hanging low.

“.......”

—I’m only someone who happened to pass by and give you a push from behind. So forget about repaying me.

“.......”

—You must be tired. Get some proper rest.

“...Yes, Hanje.”

Hanje ended the call first.

Had he been too forward? Then again, Hanje would not even let Gowon buy him a meal. Perhaps the idea of Gowon repaying him had seemed laughable.

Was that why his reaction had been slightly different from usual?

Still, it was something Gowon had wanted to say to him, if at all possible.

Sweat seeped beneath his clothes in the suddenly warmer weather. Even so, he was able to look up at the starry sky and breathe out with relief.

He resolved to work even harder during the promotions that would soon begin. Gowon climbed the stairs and headed home.

But the family members he had sent upstairs long ago were still standing in front of the door.

“Why haven’t you gone inside...?”

And there was a woman Gowon did not recognize standing in front of them.

“So you’re Gowon! You’re so tall and handsome, I knew you right away. You look a little like that man too!”

“...Who are you?”

“I’m your mother! Yours, Sua’s, and Suhyeon’s!”

***

After ending the call with Gowon, I opened the status window with a strange feeling.

The status window was still pink.

Q3-1. Summer’s HOT NEWBIE

If every preparation is complete, it is time to show your true worth.

No. 1 on the HOT 100 chart (Achieved)

Top 10 on the TOP 100 chart (Not Achieved)

“...This is why I’m helping you.”

I would not deny that meeting a promising rookie had excited me, but still... I had not done enough to deserve such heartfelt gratitude.

Now he’s gone and made things awkward.

Forget repaying me. Just grow up quickly and fulfill the wish already. Then I would be free too, and by then, good songs would probably be coming to him from every direction.

“.......”

Still, he had handled the song I gave him several times more perfectly than I had expected, which was admirable. Maybe I could take charge of his first full-length album too. The quest probably would not be over by then anyway, so....

Then I raked my hands through my hair.

“Ah, the kid had to go and say something so admirable that now he’s making me think like some noble senior.”

The house looked no different from usual, but it somehow seemed even quieter. I glanced around the living room, then flopped onto the sofa.

“Don’t think about anything else. Your stamina must be at rock bottom, so just wash up and go to sleep..., ...huh?”

Gowon

Current Status: ■! What the ■■ is this?! ■! ■■■!

“What now? What’s wrong?”

***

“I’m telling you, there are seriously so many weird people in the world.”

“Yes.......”

Gowon answered quietly while leaving his hair in the stylist’s hands.

“Hey, Gowon. Don’t nod.”

“Ah, I’m sorry.”

His posture immediately straightened again.

Promotions for <DEEP> had begun the day after the day following the showcase.

Everyone who heard about what had happened to Gowon that night reacted with horror and carefully checked on him. Fortunately, he did not appear deeply shaken.

“What? What happened? I heard a stalker came all the way to Gowon’s house.”

The stylist asked curiously while briskly shaking out the outfit Gowon would wear that day. As everyone glanced at him once more, Gowon calmly explained.

“She was a stalker. But even for a stalker, she was unusually strange. She told me and my siblings that she was our mother.”

“What? Your mother? Out of nowhere?”

“Yes.”

“...That’s insane. I’ve got chills. She really was a stranger, right? I mean....”

The people close to Gowon now knew that he was the head of a household raised by his grandparents. Since they closely managed nearly every aspect of his daily life, it would have been impossible not to know.

They cautiously watched his reaction, wondering whether the stalker might truly have been his biological mother as she claimed.

“The grandparents I live with are my mother’s parents. So... they’re my maternal grandparents. There’s no way she could be my mother when neither of them had ever seen her before.”

There was no room for doubt.

More importantly, his mother had died before his father. That was what the documents he had reviewed several times for contract matters said.

...I was too young, so I don’t remember anything.

That was why this stalker incident had not affected him much either.

“Ah..., wow. Then she really was completely deranged. Ugh, when that ‘I should’ve given birth to him’ meme was popular, I just thought it was funny. There are actually people who genuinely delude themselves into believing they’re someone’s mother?”

Fortunately, the manager had not gone far when the incident occurred and rushed back after receiving Gowon’s call. He immediately separated the stalker from them, then contacted the company and arranged somewhere for the rest of the family to stay so they would not be harmed. Gowon was grateful.

“Who knows what goes on in a lunatic’s head, but she really tried everything. You went through a lot.”

“No. I was a little startled, but....”

“So how did you deal with it? You reported her, right?”

“We couldn’t. Unlike the person who came to the accommodations before, she didn’t directly harm anyone, and she was standing in the corridor, which made it difficult to report her for trespassing.”

“Ah, wow.”

“So we told her that if she did it again, the company would sue her. She got scared and left, so she’ll probably be fine.”

“That still sounds way too unsettling....”