Chapter 104

Summer poured rain down day after day, as if making one last rebellion of humidity before the season changed.

The weather was so relentlessly bad that schedules were frequently canceled because of typhoons.

As a result, Gowon returned to the monotonous routine of going back and forth between the practice room and home.

But there had been a change from the way he used to do nothing except practice himself into the ground.

Going through a survival audition again—one where contestants were directly exposed to audience judgment—after already having debuted had taught him many things he had never realized before.

It isn’t enough to simply be “good.” How do I make the public notice me?

That question had been added to his concerns.

What people expected from him.

And how to exceed those expectations so dramatically that he could shock them.

He had been given more than enough opportunities to observe someone who embodied the ideal of an idol.

...Though lately my heart’s been pounding way worse than before, which is kind of exhausting....

He had already shown symptoms of being a Baek Hanje fan.

Then they had participated in <Debut Chart! 100> together and gone through all kinds of incidents.

And after seeing him perform at the jazz festival as Hansel of Young Ace, those feelings had only intensified.

Of course they did. After seeing that level of skill, that kind of... stage.

And besides, even if he seemed like he had a terrible personality on the surface, once you got to know him, he was a good person.

...But does it still count as being a fan if what I like isn’t idol Hansel, but Hanje’s... prickly kindness? Or the way he takes care of me while pretending he’s just teasing me?

“Mm....”

Well, personality was part of a person too.

People said plenty of fans quit supporting idols because of personality scandals, didn’t they?

While he continued thinking, Gowon arrived at a hallway that had become familiar before he knew it.

The moment Baek Hanje’s workroom came into view, the thump, thump of his heartbeat seemed to echo all the way into his head.

“Whew....”

An unstable childhood had given Gowon a habit of avoiding and running from anything whose outcome he couldn’t predict.

But now he had learned the tingling thrill of carrying his nerves with him and facing the unknown head-on.

That, too, was something Baek Hanje had taught him.

At last, Gowon reached the workroom.

“Hanje, today I....”

After knocking, Gowon absentmindedly opened the door and froze.

Normally, Baek Hanje would have been sitting there alone, working on music.

But today, there were so many people that even the spacious workroom looked cramped.

“Gowon, you’re here?”

Baek Hanje was seated in his usual place in front of the monitors.

“Oh, so that’s the junior.”

“Hi.”

Cha Yensu and Big Room were sitting on the couch.

And inside the recording booth, which was usually empty, stood Yunjin. He was saying something through the glass while swinging both arms around. Baek Hanje pressed the talkback button, and a greeting came through the speakers.

—Good to see you, Gowon~.

“Ah, hello.”

Suddenly faced with a group of enormous industry seniors, Gowon bowed deeply from the waist.

A clear laugh rang out from the beautiful person seated farther inside the couch.

“I heard rumors our Hanje’s been putting the fear of God into his juniors. Guess they were true.”

“Of course. I’m just giving back everything I received from you guys.”

“If that were true, that kid would’ve been sitting on top of your head ages ago.”

This time, the man sitting on the outside of the couch—the kind of man whose entire appearance screamed I’m a rapper—shot back at Baek Hanje.

Baek Hanje tilted his head toward Gowon, who was standing awkwardly before the army of veteran seniors.

“Yunjin’s back after a long time, so we’ve been running him hard to get his instincts back. What brings you here?”

“Ah... I came to ask if there was anything you wanted for dinner.”

“I knew you two were living together, but hey, Baek Hanje. You make your junior cook for you too?”

“Okay, no, this one is genuinely unfair. I used to buy him food all the time, and then one day he suddenly told me to stop ordering delivery and started cooking. I never asked him to do it even once.”

Baek Hanje pulled his chair across the room toward the couch.

“But Gowon’s actually really good at cooking. So now if he says he’ll make food, I shut up and let him feed me.”

“Our youngest has always been talented at creating music and hopeless at creating food.”

Cha Yensu playfully tapped Baek Hanje on the forehead with a fingertip.

Baek Hanje simply sat there obediently with an embarrassed smile.

“Hmm...? Looking at them like this, Yensu and the junior do have a bit of a similar vibe.”

Big Room pointed between Cha Yensu and Gowon.

“They’re both pale, their hair colors are similar... Maybe it’s because they both have finer facial lines.”

Not long ago, Gowon’s blond hair had started getting messily mixed with black roots. He had tidied it up and covered it with brown to match the theme of an upcoming commercial shoot.

Cha Yensu’s light brown hair looked as though it was naturally that color.

“I thought the same thing when I first saw Gowon. He’s the Yensu type. Just... meaner-looking.”

Now that Baek Hanje had said it too, Gowon studied Cha Yensu more carefully.

Do we look alike...?

Cha Yensu responded to Gowon’s stare with a mature, gentle smile.

“That’s why I wondered if the company approved it when Taeyoung insisted on bringing him to K-Dom. They’d already seen Yensu’s success story.”

“I’m sure it was because the junior’s talented. What does someone who hasn’t been active in ages have to do with it?”

Gowon tried imagining himself speaking in the same soft, graceful tone as Cha Yensu.

...He couldn’t picture it at all.

“Gowon. I think I’m going to eat with these guys tonight before heading home. We probably can’t have dinner together.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t just eat whatever either. Make sure you have a proper— Ah, uh... Are you meeting someone for dinner?”

“No. I’m eating at home.”

“...Really? You’re not planning to stop anywhere?”

“I need to stop by the practice room... to pick up my stuff. Should I practice some more before I go?”

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

“Our baby youngest really became a full-on K-Dom training assistant while I was gone.”

Yunjin, who had been trapped inside the booth for several hours, quietly escaped and joined the conversation.

“You’re nowhere near done. Who told you to come out?”

“Oh, come on. Stop being mean.”

Yunjin lightly rubbed Baek Hanje’s cheek despite the glare aimed at him, then sat down on the couch too.

“This is break time, right? I’m stepping out for a bit.”

Having read the room, Big Room rose and cracked his neck from side to side.

“Gowon, that guy looks like he’s going out to chain-smoke, but he’s actually going to buy chocolate milk.”

Instead of answering Baek Hanje’s mockery, Big Room shoved the back of the insolent youngest member’s head.

Gowon didn’t think he had even been in the room for five minutes, and in that short span, three different members had already put their hands on Baek Hanje’s face.

...Is this just what happens when you’re the youngest member?

His forehead, his cheek, his head....

As Gowon looked at the different places touched by different hands, Baek Hanje suddenly lifted his head.

“Oh, right. Bangwon.”

“What now?”

“Teach me rap. I’m gonna be a rapper.”

“...Who the hell put this stupid idea in your head now? Yunjin. I told you not to keep telling him he’s good at everything.”

“Ah, yes. This is what Young Ace is supposed to be like. So much sincerity. Really {N•o•v•e•l•i•g•h•t} warms the heart.”

Baek Hanje looked deeply moved even while being scolded.

Only Yunjin and Gowon knew the background hidden behind his words.

When their eyes met, Yunjin gave him a small smile.

“Until the day Young Ace retires, don’t even think about rapping.”

After delivering that firm warning, Big Room left Baek Hanje’s workroom.

Not long afterward, however, someone followed him.

Big Room pressed the chocolate-milk button on the vending machine and finished paying before casually turning to look at his pursuer.

“You want to rap too?”

“What?”

The junior named Gowon blinked several times before answering.

“Rap... does show up here and there in some of my songs already....”

“Ah. Guess not.”

Big Room had assumed the junior had followed because he’d gotten caught up in appearances and wanted to try hip-hop.

Although he had debuted as an idol, Big Room also had one foot in the hip-hop scene, and people approached him that way all the time.

He had wondered whether Gowon was one of them, but the kid genuinely seemed to have zero interest in this side of things.

If he wasn’t here hoping something might rub off on him, then why was he staring so intensely that it made a person uncomfortable?

Bangwon Ahn.

There were certain historical complications involved in debuting under the birth name his grandfather had given him, so Young Ace’s main rapper had translated the first two syllables of his name directly and become Big Room.

He was weak against guileless looks like this.

At this rate, the chocolate milk in his hand was going to give him indigestion.

“Um, Big Room. There’s something I wanted to ask you.”

“...What is it?”

“I watched your appearance on <Show Me the Gold>. It really left an impression on me.”

“Okay.”

“Back then, during the cypher battle....”

Ah, that.

The scene had become so famous and been talked about so much everywhere that Big Room knew immediately what Gowon meant.

When he had appeared on the rap survival show, he had been matched against an unknown rapper for a one-on-one battle.

At the time, even fans had been criticizing him, asking why someone from Young Ace was going on a show like that and accusing him of being so obsessed with hip-hop that he was going to ruin the group’s image.

His opponent had made full use of that.

The diss track aimed at Big Room had gone on about what kind of rapper performed with the K-Dom logo attached to him, and whether singing while making finger hearts could really be called hip-hop.

Then it had been Big Room’s turn.

He straightened from the crooked stance he had been standing in and greeted the camera.

Young Forever. Hello. I’m Big Room of Young Ace.

After proudly delivering the greeting he and his members used every time, he began his cypher.

Congratulations. This battle video’s going to get ten times the views now. You said you do hip-hop to make money and get famous, right? Then I just gave you the best hip-hop moment of your life.

Big Room had refused to tolerate insults toward Young Ace and had fired back while speaking of his members with fierce pride.

That battle became one of the legendary scenes of the season.

Afterward, people acknowledged that the survival show had exposed the ability that had been hidden behind the label of “idol.”

Despite fan boycotts and contempt from those around him, Big Room had kept moving forward in silence until he finally claimed the winner’s chain.

“...I wanted to ask how you managed to respond so confidently in a bad situation where... you might not have felt confident at all.”

“.......”

Big Room studied his junior through the eyes beneath his tilted head and thought.

Ah. I’m absolute shit at this kind of mentoring.

That was exactly why, after winning <Show Me the Gold>, he had refused every invitation to return as a judge....

But the desperation in the junior standing before him somehow seemed to originate from Young Ace’s youngest member, and that made Big Room feel as though he should give him some kind of answer.

“...Well..., ha. First, hold on.” ℯℯ𝘭.𝘤ℴ𝘮

What do kids these days like?

After thinking about it, he settled on something safe, bought a Coke Zero, and handed it over.

The idea was for Gowon to drink it and relax a little, but Big Room had no idea why the kid instead held it like something precious and straightened his posture even more.

“When you say you don’t have confidence, there are outside factors and internal factors.”

“Yes.”

“Which one is it?”

“...I think both.”

Why does a twenty-year-old kid look like he’s already lived through this much shit?

His thoughts became even more complicated, but Big Room dug up the best advice he was capable of giving.

“For the outside stuff, act like it doesn’t exist. You can’t control it anyway. And if it’s about your own mindset...”

This much, at least, he could answer with certainty.

“Mean it.”

“.......”

“I wasn’t ashamed in the slightest to have the K-Dom logo attached to my music. No matter where I rap, my roots are Young Ace. Why should that obvious fact be a problem? If anything, it made me fight even harder to put on a stage that wouldn’t shame the Young Ace name.”

“...I see....”

Big Room looked at the junior standing there with his red lips slightly parted and his long eyelashes lowered.

...The kid had been born with that much talent for being an idol, so Big Room couldn’t understand what he had to feel insecure about.

Everyone... has their own story, I guess.

Helping him work through that story too...

was beyond Big Room’s abilities.