Post-Epilogue Chapter 25: The Golden Rule of Buying Two of Everything

So, after the first chapter of our mahou shoujo pseudo-scenario turned weird, it was put on the back burner for the moment. All our Emergent friends (not counting Benjamin, of course) were now busy sifting through the Simulacrum with a fine-toothed comb to figure out what went wrong (or too right, depending on perspective), Judy was neck-deep in meta-discussions with Fulgor, while Apollo was having a laugh at out expense. At least the princess took the whole thing in stride. She threw herself into finalising the kids' magical girl outfits, with the help of Galatea and my unwitting Abyssal sister, while I…

Well, I had lots to do, but not too much either, if that makes any sense. Since our primary suspect for the unexpected deviations was my subconscious parts embedded in the Simulacrum (or the other way around, it was all kinds of screwy), Carmine and Obsidius insisted that I should stay away from the pseudo-scenario for the time being. Something about my presence and observations potentially resulting in more changes, which would then invalidate their readings and investigations and whatnot.

I wasn't quite sure how to feel about that. On the one hand, being excluded was never a nice feeling, even if warranted, but on the other, I now had an excuse for some me-time. As for what to do… I was a bit stumped on that front. Looking at it objectively, I didn't have any traditional 'hobbies'. Sure, I read books and manga volumes, but that was mostly for trope research, and while I occasionally visited the arcades, I wasn't much of a gamer either. It was more about the communal aspect. Less of 'what you do', and more of 'who's with you'. The same applied to visiting the bowling alley as well, now that I thought about it.

In fact, maybe my real hobby was spending time with my friends and family all along.

…

Yeah, that sounded a bit sappy, but was it untrue? And more importantly, it did explain why I was currently inside one of Timaeus's big malls, accompanying my sister.

"Come on, Brother! Keep up!"

"You're the one rushing ahead. Slow down," I told Penny, but my knightly sister didn't heed my words and rushed over to another store window.

Looking around, most of the holiday décor was still up in the mall. It was a surprisingly cozy place; near the town centre, with lots and lots of luxury storefronts, boutiques, and cafés. Of course, it also had more ‘practical shops’ as well, like about a dozen different fast-food restaurants and even a department store on the ground floor. It was, in many ways, the mercantile and cultural heart of the city, and it absolutely gave off that inviting 'third space' communal atmosphere you'd see in old sitcoms.

It's just that we rarely had any reason to come here before. In fact, I think this was only my third time coming here, but I kind of liked it. Not as much as Penny did, though.

"Look, Brother! How about that?" she said, pointing at a rather fancy-looking purse. A bright pink one studded with fake gems and everything.

"… Does Snowy need a purse?" I asked right away, and her expression immediately clouded over.

"I… don't know? I don't think she even uses one."

"Then I guess dropping a fancy one like that one on her could be overwhelming," I argued, and my sister rubbed her chin in return.

"Maybe, maybe…"

It was a Saturday afternoon, meaning fewer people were idling around than usual. That meant we weren't in anyone's way, so I let her ponder it all she wanted. We were in casual clothes, which in my case referred to the classic black longcoat, while Penny opted for a rather conservative knit turtle-neck sweater and jeans, so we didn't stick out of the crowd. That was a nice change of pace. Even though the Placeholders getting more sentient and animated was something to be celebrated, I didn't quite like the looks they were giving me when I was out in town with the girls. Though that might've had more to do with the three of us usually walking arm in arm, now that I thought about it.

Anyhow, back to Penny:

"Come on, Brother! You really need to make up your mind!" she called out with a finger pointed at my nose.

"Why? Isn't the whole point of window-shopping to freely look around first instead of jumping at the first option available?"

"I mean… yes… but…" She floundered for a bit longer, then puffed up her cheeks and turned around with a huff. "This is why I hate arguing with you!"

"Because I make good points and you never win the arguments?" I teased her a bit with a palm on top of her noggin, and after just a second of contact, she dodged out of under my hand.

"Brother! What did we agree on about headpats in public?!" she snapped at me, but I could only chuckle.

It's been quite a while since we last spent some quality time like this, just the two of us, so I didn't want to annoy her too much. That said, it was every big brother's right, nay, duty to tease his little sister, so I couldn't help it.

"Fine, fine," I said with a wave of my hand and started moving. I changed the topic with a carefree, "What did you buy for her?"

"Oh, me?" Penny perked up at once and lined up next to me as we walked. "Remember that last year I got Snowy that visual novel? About the maids?"

"Yeah, I think you mentioned something about that," I answered a touch uncertainly, because while I could vaguely recall that, I wasn't entirely sure where she said that. I think it had something to do with Christmas, but… the whole thing was kind of fuzzy. A bit like that time when I encountered a different version of myself on a beach? I still wasn't entirely sure that was real, but I didn't dream, and I wasn't even sure that Emergents could have vivid hallucinations. Yeah, it was probably real, or maybe one of those alternate timeline things? But then how did Penny also remember it? Or maybe I'm just conflating details I vaguely remember, and I'm just confusing something for…

"Brother? Are you listening?"

I blinked and, after a moment of hesitation, shook my head.

"Sorry, I got lost in thought for a moment. What were you saying?"

"Uuu…!" Penny pouted at me with the power and intensity of at least seven and half grumpy persian cats, and then we pulled to the side while she animatedly explained, "I just said that I got the game for Snowy, and she really liked it, but it was a romance story where the main character was the young master of the household, and he had to seduce the maids, and that was icky. This time, I looked into it much more thoroughly and found this new visual novel!" She puffed out her chest, only to deflate when she awkwardly explained, "I-I mean, it's more of a raising sim, really? But the important part is that it only has girls in it! And it has multiple kinds of maids! Like, classic style, and Victorian style, and French style, and even Japanese Lolita and Bunny styles!"

She was doing that thing where she was counting on her fingers. The same thing that Elly was often doing, which meant it was adorable, but I had to restrain my head-patting instincts and only nodded along.

"Oh, I see. You really did your research, didn't you?"

"Of course!" she declared with a toothy grin.

I waited for a beat, then asked, "But… Japanese Lolita style and Bunny-girl style maids? Are you sure this isn't an eroge?"

My dear sister immediately turned red as a lobster and tried to cover my mouth, to little effect.

"A-Awawaaa! B-B-Brother! Don't say that in public!" Then, after the first shock, she narrowed her eyes and asked, "How do you know what that means, anyway?"

"The better question is, how do you know?" I asked back, turning the tables on her and making even her ears turn red.

"Aaah! It's because of research! I had to look it up to find the perfect game!"

"Okay, and?" I prompted her, but she only blinked at me in confusion, so I clarified, "I mean, you still didn't answer my question. Is it an all-ages game, or an eroge?"

"Awawawaaaaaa!" She flailed again, then insisted, "Brother! I told you, it's a game that only has girls in it!"

"And? That doesn't preclude anything."

"B-But why would you think I'd want to give Snowy a game where girls do… um….holding hands, and k-kissing and t-t-those kinds of things with each other? T-T-That would be most preposterous, right?" she muttered, bringing her index fingers together in front of her chest over and over again, and I couldn't help but sigh and poke her forehead, eliciting a soft, "Owie!"

"Listen, Kiddo. I think I told you this a bunch of times before, but you really, really need to fix this bad habit of yours." She was only glaring at me silently while guarding her forehead, so I elaborated, "I mean, the part where you keep putting your foot in your mouth."

"Yes, you keep telling me that, but you never explained what that means!" my little sister whined while still protecting her noggin, so I allowed myself another shallow sigh and started walking.

"Okay, I'll explain on the way."

"Awawa! Brother, wait!"

I did just that, slowing down until she caught up, and then told her, "As I said, you have a bad habit of freaking out the moment you get embarrassed, and then start spouting whatever's on your mind, only leading to more misunderstandings. Like just now. If you deny something that vehemently and specifically, people are just going to assume you're trying to hide something, and then they’ll inevitably think that you're actually doing the opposite of what you're saying. In this case, buying yuri eroge for Snowy on her birthday."

"Y-Yuri?!" she squeaked, and then immediately turned to the side and insisted, "I-I-I have no idea what you mean! In fact, I don't even know what the word means! I don't know anything at all!"

"See, this is exactly what I'm talking about." Penny continued to sulk, and that wasn't conducive to a shopping trip like this, so I did my best to change the topic again by saying, "Just make sure you double-check the age rating and the content of the game before giving it to Snowy, okay? She probably wouldn't mind it even if it's a yuri game."

My knightly sister immediately perked up with a wide-eyed, "She wouldn't!?" and I had to think about my response for a moment.

What I meant was that, if this game of Penny's really was some raising sim with different kinds of maids and whatnot, then considering it was something she liked, Snowy could probably overlook the 'vibes' between the characters… but then again, Snowy was a Seducer (by biology, if nothing else), and she was never all that shy about using her powers on the fairer sex when necessary, so… Eh?

"I said she probably wouldn't mind," I emphasised for the second time. "Still check the game, anyway."

"O-Okay! Naturally!"

Meanwhile, we passed by yet another clothes shop window, and honestly, I still wasn't sure what to get for Snowy. I mean, if push came to shove, I could always just fall back to a blank check, but that was a bit too impersonal and, in the words of Sahi, 'Like, totally lame-o-rama', so I was going to buy her something, or die trying.

…

Well, okay, maybe this situation wasn't that dramatic, but my point stands.

"What about a plushie?" I floated the idea, and it took my other sister a few seconds to respond.

"Huh? No, that won't do! Snowy already has a whole lot of plushies! You bought them yourself, too!"

"I mean, she likes them, so maybe it's best not to fix what's not broken?"

"No, no, no!" Penny denied my suggestion with her arms crossed in front of her chest. "Birthdays are special! It means you must give special gifts. Something with lots of thought and l-love put into it!"

"Like that purse from before?" I asked, and she froze up for a moment before awkwardly scratching the back of her neck.

"Uhh… If you frame it that way…" She faltered, but not for long, and then she hurriedly shook her head. "No. You must get her something special! Something that she would like! To show that you care!"

"… This whole birthday gift shopping thing is more complicated than expected."

Penny solemnly nodded, and we continued our rounds in the mall, deep in thought. So, what does Snowy like, I pondered. She liked maids, but Penny's gift already covered that topic. She also didn't have much time or opportunity to cosplay at home nowadays, so getting her a new uniform probably wouldn't be too useful anyway. What else was there? Apple pies? Fauns? Family?

None of those could really be turned into gifts. Clothes and jewellery weren't something she needed to worry about, with our collective finances, and considering her heroine-heritage, she wasn't in need for makeup, so…

"Ugh. No matter how I look at this, I think I'll need to come up with something personalised."

"Like what?" Penny asks, head cocked to the side.

"I'm not sure. Something like an engraving with her name on it, or—"

"Oh, oh!" Penny suddenly grabs my arm and pulls me in the direction we just came from. "I saw a store on the ground floor, that way! They were selling novelty stuff, and their poster said they do engravings, too!"

"That's worth a look, I guess."

I let my sister drag me across the mall, and before long, we stood in front of the aforementioned business. It was tucked away in the corner, near the escalators and the ATMs, and it had a whole lot of stuff on display. Fountain pens with names engraved on them seemed to be the most popular article they were selling, based on the display cases, but they also had custom jewellery, mugs, and even phone cases, plus…

…

Wait. I just got an idea.

I squinted at the stuff on display, and after a few seconds of pondering, that turned into a plan of action. So, they had custom phone cases, which in this case meant just basic silicone ones with names or photos printed on them. Cute, but not exactly high-quality stuff. However, it still hit a chord with me, because my sisters just got new phones for Christmas. Or rather, only Snowy needed a replacement, but the rules of multiple girlfriends applied to multiple younger siblings as well: if you bought something for one of them, you'd better buy something identical in monetary or emotional value for the other as well.

So, since Snowy had a new phone, it provided a great opportunity for some personalising, but none of the things on display piqued my interest. I was more intrigued by the idea itself. Maybe I could colour-match it with Snowy, so that would be… White and red? Ah, but if we were doing that, I might as well get a bit cheeky with it. Didn't Snowy make these cute chibi drawings of everyone in our little group a while back? In that Japanese brand's style. What was it called? 'Greetings Cat'?

Anyhow, I could get that incorporated into the case, and also maybe make it a little keychain-figurine that could be attached to the strap-holder? Those were still popular, right? Yeah, that sounded about right.

"Okay, I think I know what to get for Snowy," I declared, and Penny immediately rose to her tiptoes and tried to follow my line of sight, trying her best to figure out what I was looking at.

"What? The surprise box? Or… you don't mean the socks, right?"

"No, of course not." I jerked my head towards the other end of the mall and added, "Come on, let's get moving."

"W-Wait! Aren't you going to buy something?"

"Nah. I figured I'll get Snowy something handmade… in a matter of speaking."

I mean, if I ran out of options, I could always just retcon something that matched my exact idea into being, but I was pretty sure that if I told Galatea what I wanted, she would make it to my exact specifications without making much of a fuss.

"Brotheeer! You can't do that! Snowy's birthday is the day after tomorrow!"

"Don't worry, Kiddo," I said while sneakily landing my hand on her head and rustling her hair a bit. "You know I have resources. I'll make it in time."

"Uuu…" She ducked out of under my palm again and fixed her hair, followed by a sulky, "You better."

I couldn't stop myself from smiling even if I tried, but then I couldn't keep smiling either, because I just remembered something else. Right. I almost forgot. Both of my sisters got new phones, but if I only got a fancy new custom-built chibi-Snowy case for my Abyssal sis, it would break the rule. That meant Penny should also get something, even though it wasn't her birthday. Maybe a matching case? Snowy did make a drawing of her, too, so…

I muttered a quiet, "I'll figure it out," before shifting the conversation again by asking, "Do you want to grab something to eat before we leave? A burger, or maybe some gyros? There's a new fancy Japanese ramen restaurant too. They recently opened on the ground floor, and none of us tried it yet. Do you want to be the trailblazer?"

My knightly sister hesitated for a bit, but then nodded, though not without a tentative, "We can try it out, but you know I'm planning to visit Uncle Percy later, right?"

Oh, right. That guy. Speaking of him and phones, I never returned his cellphone after I took it as future-me, did I? Maybe I should sneak it onto his nightstand one of these days with a cryptic letter, just to spook him? That sounded amusing enough.

"Sure, but we still have time for a meal."

"Yeah, we do."

Once decided, we headed to the ramen place, but it was at the other end of the building, so ther was also time for more small-talk.

"So, how's the old codger doing these days?"

I got regular updates on him from the caretakers, and he was also under constant CIN supervision, but Penny didn't need to know that, and she was all too eager to answer.

"Oh, he's actually gotten much better! He gained some weight lately, and he can even walk short distances with his crutches. I still don't get half the things he's teaching Snowy, but they're getting along, too!" Until this point, I nodded along without paying too much attention, but then my dear sister suddenly dropped a bombshell by saying, "Oh, and… um… you didn't hear this from me, okay? But, but… Uncle Percy's got a girlfriend, I think."

That nearly made me stumble, and I had to hear that again to be sure.

"Excuse me? Could you repeat that?"

"Um… N-Not like a real girlfriend, obviously." Penny shuffled her feet a bit, then finally explained, "You know how he somehow lost his old phone, and we had to get him that cheap budget one that can barely run any games?" I gestured for her to continue, and she did so with gusto. "You see, he said he was feeling bored and lonely, and so he got into contact with this woman on this messaging app, and he says they hit it off really well!"

Oh. Oh dear. Please don't tell me the bastard is now scamming women online. I mean, sure, he's a conniving, traitorous, faithless weasel of a son-of-a-bitch, but even he couldn't have fallen so low where he would do confidence scams, could he?

"Who's that woman again?" I asked maybe a bit too intensely, and my sister put her finger on her lower lip while she pondered.

"Um… I'm not sure. Uncle Percy didn't say her name, but he said the nice nurse lady, the one who comes by to check his health twice a week, put him in contact with her! She's taking care of her, too, and the two of them have been texting each other on this app for months." She let her hand down and put it on her hip instead, with a huff. "He kept it a secret for so long! The only reason we know now is because he got a message while he was talking with Snowy the other week, and we could read it! You see, that was when..."

Penny kept on talking, while I narrowed my eyes. This mystery woman was introduced to him by the nurse? The home-care service we used had been thoroughly vetted by both the Celestial Intelligence Network and the Ordo Draconis. That included background- and character-checks on the caretakers, the nurses, and even the cleaners and the freaking maintenance guys. We picked them because they were already affiliated with the Magi, so they were tangentially aware of the World of Mystics and the masquerade, and were specifically…

…

Wait. Let's roll that back a bit. Affiliated with the Magi? Was there a female Magi on the island who was as severely injured as Percival and required constant care, with a magic-aware nurse regularly visiting them?

…

Yes. Yes, there was.

"Oh, dear god…" I muttered under my breath.

"Hm? What was that?"

"No, don't mind me," I blurted out in a hurry while waving my hand. "I was just thinking, it's been a while since I last visited old Percival. How about I tag along with you?"

Penny squinted at me, hard.

"Brother? Aren't you supposed to make Snowy's gift?"

"Don't worry, I'm good on that."

"And you don't even like Uncle Percy."

"That doesn't mean I shouldn't visit him every once in a while."

She continued to squint at me, but eventually accepted my words and said, "I mean, I don't mind spending more time together. It's been ages since it's been only the two, or three, of us, but…"

"Don't worry, Kiddo. It'll be fun."

Or, at the very least, I'm sure this was going to be hilarious. Maybe just for me, but still. Hilarious.