Chapter 199 : Chapter 199

Chapter 199: Breaking the Dream

Adol ‍​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌‌​‌‌‌​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌​​‌​​‌​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​​​​​​‌‌​​​​​‌​‌​‌​​​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌‌​​‌​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌‌​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​​​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​‌​‌​​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌​​‌​​​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​‌​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​​​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌​​‌​​​​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​‌​​‌​​​​‌​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌‌​​​​​​‌‌​‌​‌​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌​​‌​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​​​‌‌‌​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​‌​​​​‌​‌​‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​​​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​‌​​​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​​​‌​‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​​​​​‌​‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​​​‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌​‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌​‌​​​​​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​​​‌​‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​​‌‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​‌​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌​​​​‌​​‌​​‌‌‌‌​‌​​​‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​​​‌​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​‌​‌​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​‌​​​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​​​​​​‌‌​​​‌​‌‌‌‌​​​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌​​​​‌​​​​‌​​‌​‌​​​​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​​​​‌​​‌​​​‌‌​​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌​​‌‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​​‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌‌‌​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​​​‌​​‌​‌​‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​​‌​​​‌‌​​​​​‌​‌‌​‌​​​‌‌​​​​​‌​​‌‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌​‌​​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​‌‌‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​‌​​‌​‌​​​​​‌​‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​​​‌​​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌‌‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌‌‌​‌​​​‌​​​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​​​​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​‌​​​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​‌​​​‌​​​​​‌​​‌‌​​​​​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​‌‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌​‌​‌‌‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌‌‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌‌‌​‌‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌‌‌​‌​​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌​​‌​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​​‌​​​‌​​​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​​‌‌​​​​​​‌‌‌‌​‌‍felt the hand gripping his strength and briefly turned around.

“What, ‍​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌‌​‌​​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌‌‌​​‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​‌‌‌‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​​‌​​​‌​‌‌‌​‍did you come to your senses?”

But ‍​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌‌​‌​​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌‌‌​​‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​‌‌‌‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​​‌​​​‌​‌‌‌​‍no answer came back.

Thinking ‍​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌‌​‌​​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌‌‌​​‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​‌‌‌‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​​‌​​​‌​‌‌‌​‍he had wasted time for nothing, Adol clicked his tongue and looked forward again.

Even ‍​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌‌​‌​​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌‌‌​​‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​‌‌‌‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​​‌​​​‌​‌‌‌​‍though he felt he had walked a fairly long distance, the gap between him and Mona still had not narrowed.

No ‍​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌‌​‌​​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌‌‌​​‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​‌‌‌‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​​‌​​​‌​‌‌‌​‍matter how loudly he called out, Mona did not answer.

That did not mean he was walking faster either.

Step, step.

He only moved farther away at a steady pace.

That bastard dragged this many people in here, so shouldn’t he take responsibility? Is he saying he’ll only lead the people who survive?

No, shouldn’t he bring as many people as possible if they were going to defeat the monsters, or catch them?

At the sudden sense that something was wrong, Adol stopped walking.

He had blindly followed from fear, but the one who had dragged people here without any real explanation was also that man.

Why didn’t he tell us in advance?

If he had gone in and out of this place several times already, he should have known what would happen to people.

Was it because everyone would run away if they knew it was dangerous?

“Are you no longer going to follow?”

At the calm voice that seemed to have read his mind, Adol snapped his head up.

It was Mona’s voice.

Behind him, a faint light could be seen.

Adol knew that place was the entrance he had wished for so much, but strangely, he did not want to move forward.

“......Why are you standing there?”

“......”

Mona did not answer Adol’s question.

“What is this place? Why did everyone lose consciousness?”

Adol felt his voice tremble a little, but it could not be helped.

Unease crawled up the back of his neck, making the hair on his body stand on end.

“Because they have killed people.”

The unfriendly Mona answered briefly, and gave no further explanation.

“Fine. Then I’ll ask another question. ......Did you know this would happen?”

This time, Mona gave no answer.

But another voice answered the boy’s question.

“What, there’s one left? And he’s even fine.”

It was neither Mona nor Enil.

It was a woman’s voice, lighter in tone and mixed with a slight metallic rasp.

“Your instincts have gotten dull too. It’s about time you pretended to be dead and handed over your spot. You can switch with me now, can’t you?”

She continued saying things he could not understand, and he heard her enter.

The shout asking what kind of joke this felt like it would burst out at any moment, but even that would not come.

“Don’t be too harsh. He’ll be punished if we tell Archie anyway.”

“And even if Mona gets trapped here, you still won’t be the one going to the village. What use would anyone have for someone that stupid?”

It was not just one person.

More and more people entered, speaking to him as if nothing were wrong.

No, were they even people?

“Everyone, calm down. That’s not what matters right now. The problem is what to do with that little bloodling.”

Feeling everyone’s gazes stick to him, Adol turned around.

Even if he lost his way and got trapped inside the cave, he felt he had to get away from this place.

“Do you know the way out?”

But his retreat had already been blocked.

Adol blankly looked up at the black shadow looking down at him beside Ran, and swallowed.

“It would be better to just follow along. Leave that trash beside you.”

Adol realized that what he was pointing at was Ran beside him.

“......Are you going to kill him?”

“Look at this one. A bastard who can’t even protect his own life is worrying about his companion.”

“Move aside, Rea.”

Mona cut in, pushing aside the one looking down at Adol.

The child glared fiercely at him, the source of all of this.

“What did you do? What do I have to do to wake him up?”

Perhaps the child’s question amused them, because beastlike laughter broke out from here and there.

“You can’t do anything about that! He’s trapped inside his memories, killing the person he killed over and over without end.”

The metallic voice that had first joined the conversation said that.

Feeling his heart drop, Adol pressed Mona.

“What are you? Weren’t you supposed to take us to the werewolves?”

The moment the child’s question ended, loud laughter rang out here and there again.

As Adol stood flustered by the inexplicable mockery, someone took a step closer.

“That’s right. Mona guided you properly. You’re in the werewolves’ den right now.”

The swaggering voice that had first picked a fight with Mona answered again.

“There are this many of them right in front of your eyes.”

***

I felt both calmness and unease that did not suit the situation as I looked down at my father.

It was strange.

My head was screaming that the easiest method was to strangle him right now, but my body would not follow.

Like a computer program moving according to ordered code, I was slowly stopping myself from choking my father and slowly approaching him.

Even though there was no reason to do so, and even though I had no desire to do so.

“Looking at him like this, we do look alike.”

I had thought only my face resembled my mother’s, but here and there in his face with his eyes closed, I could find my own features.

I reached out and checked his neck.

The marks of strangling were clear.

There had been a day when he had choked me like this too.

The reason had not been anything special, I think.

Was it because I talked back?

That was probably right.

It was always my temper and talking back that turned one blow into ten.

For a while afterward, my throat would swell so much that even swallowing saliva was difficult.

I knew it was meaningless, but I traced the past anyway.

Ridiculously, the day after he crossed the line with violence like that, he would always give me pocket money as an apology.

There had been no words of apology, but until now, I had thought that was his own way of saying sorry.

Even a passing dog would laugh.

That was just......

If the him in my memories had apologized to me even once, would a day like today never have come?

Probably not.

I was a human similar to my father, and I could not be certain that I would not have raised my hand against him when he harmed me.

As long as he was breathing, and as long as I had not given up on living, someday I would have done something similar to him.

Someday, I would have swung my fist at him when he had grown old and feeble.

Whether today became tomorrow, the day after, or a more distant future, that would only have been a postponement.

My head cooled.

No, was cooled the right word?

One thing was certain. I remembered what kind of pain it was to be strangled.

It also meant I was no longer drunk enough on killing intent to choke him to death.

I took my hand away from his throat as it moved with shallow breaths.

In the end, this time too, I could not choke that throat to the end.

‘This time too?’

Something surfaced in my head, but I ignored that as well.

I took my eyes off his swollen neck and slowly raised my head to examine the surroundings.

What did I do after this?

I had been looking for something.

Ah, right.

A lighter.

My head felt clear, and yet it also felt like a tangled mess, but this was definitely the right answer.

I had to find a lighter and set the room door on fire.

If I could not kill him with my own hands, I had to find another method.

Thanks to my father, who spent every bit of money he earned at bars and game rooms, there were more than enough lighters in the house.

I looked at the blanket spread in the room.

Since he smoked constantly even in the room, there was always one lighter tucked inside his blanket.

I turned to look for it, then stopped at a fact that suddenly came to mind.

No. The lighter is not there.

Today was the day I did the laundry for the last time before saying I would leave the house.

While changing the blanket, I had definitely placed the lighter that was beneath it...... on top of the drawer.

But how did Father knock over a bookshelf that did not even exist?

The space Father had just hidden in was originally not between the bookshelf and wardrobe, but a small gap between the drawer and wardrobe.

What had spilled out were the things inside the drawer.

I recalled the memory that in a future farther from this, I had cleaned up the house once, and placed a bookshelf where the broken drawer had been.

And the one who filled that bookshelf had also been me.

It was the moment I grasped the thread of wrongness.

Whack!

With a sharp pain in the back of my head, I sank down on the spot.

When I lifted my head, I saw Father holding an empty soju bottle.

This time too, I was not particularly surprised.

It was as if deep inside, I had known things would turn out this way.

As if stopping myself from choking Father and then being attacked by him like this was part of the predetermined sequence.

“You dogshit bastard. I knew this day would come eventually. Just like your mother, you know nothing of gratitude......”

Perhaps the fact that he had almost been killed for the first time by his own son was quite shocking, because his pupils were fully dilated.

He raised the soju bottle high again.

When I caught it as it came down with the force to completely smash my head this time, my head rang.

I felt hot blood flow over my forehead.

Seeing that, Father bared his teeth.

“Let’s die together today.”

Whispering that, he kicked me in the stomach.

Because I was blocking his arm, I could not avoid it in time, and I collapsed back onto the floor from the impact.

Father climbed on top of me and choked me with one hand.

It seemed he had no hesitation like I did.

Because he raised the soju bottle held in his other hand high.

At the sight of him about to deliver the final blow, I slowly closed my eyes and opened them again.

I already knew what I had to do to survive.

But strangely, a resistance rose from somewhere deep in my heart.

Perhaps the instinct to survive was not something that disappeared over a single feeling of resistance, because my body moved on its own.

I lifted the smooth thing my hand touched and swung it at him.

“Agh!”

Father clutched his head and released the hand around my neck.

I hurriedly gasped for breath and stood.

Only after I got up did I realize that what I held in my hand was Father’s ashtray.

Father, who had been hit in the head, quickly tried to get up and charge at me again.

Pinning someone to the floor so they could not move was Father’s specialty.

My head, which was not functioning properly, stimulated the survival instinct lodged at the very bottom.

I pushed Father, who was charging at me, with all my strength.

So hard that I sank down from the recoil.

Thud!

Father was shoved away weakly.

The moment he lost his balance and could not control his body, he struck his head against the corner of the fallen bookshelf.

I looked at him, who had collapsed without even being able to scream.

Blood was flowing from his forehead.

So much that it soaked the floor.

***

It was the first time I learned that so much blood could come from a person.

Even as foolish as I was, I could tell.

If I left him like this, Father would really die.

I had pushed him over, but it was far easier on my mind than strangling him to death or setting the house on fire.

The sly thought quietly settled in my chest that this was not me directly killing him, only leaving him to die.

I knew the last chance for me not to become a murderer was flying away, but I did not move.

I did not want to get up.

I only wanted him to disappear from the world like this.

The blood from his head was soaking the books on the floor.

I blankly looked at him, his body draped over the collapsed bookshelf, and at those books.

......Books?

After stupidly staring at a familiar cover, I raised my head.

There had been nothing in our house that could be called a book.

The few Bibles Mother had owned had either been taken by Mother or thrown away by Father.

I narrowed my eyes and looked at them, and soon realized that they resembled the novel I read every day at the library.

Was it because I had never seen them in a state not worn by time and handprints that I had not recognized them right away?

I slowly stood up.

My hand, stretched out to pick up one of the books scattered nearby, trembled.

It was a sensation different from anything so far.

I wanted to lift the book, but my body rejected it.

It felt as if an unseen force was interfering with me because I was not moving according to the fixed script.

But in the end, I lifted it, and read the title.

[Dark Header]

In that instant, heat drained from my whole body as if cold water had been poured over me from head to toe.

Even after losing this much blood, more heat can still drain away? At this rate, I’ll die from hypothermia before I get beaten to death.

Along with that idle thought, countless memories were sucked into my head.

Me surviving, Father half-dead, dropping out, debt, loans, and......

I let out a sigh, overwhelmed by seven years of memories, shook my head a few times, and looked forward again.

Father was still collapsed.

In a form different from seven years ago.

“Fucking hell......”

It was a sight that made harsh words come out on their own.

I had expected it to some degree because I read it in the book, but experiencing it myself really made me feel as if I had been carefully screwed over.

I approached Father without hesitation.

My body, which had been as heavy as lead until just a moment ago, was now perfectly fine.

My head did not hurt either.

Of course it did not.

My real body would still be inside the cave at Wolf Rock.

This was a past that had already passed.

It meant that whether I fell into despair or writhed in guilt, nothing would change.

But I knew what I had to do to get out of here.

Looking down at his chest, still breathing, moving slowly, I supported his body and lifted him up.

It was a path I had not chosen seven years ago.

It was also the only path that could free me from this hell.

The heavy weight and lukewarm warmth against my back made nausea rise, but I carried him on my back and stood.

My steps to save Father were heavy, but I could not stop.

I opened the door and walked out.