The Scumbag's Guide To Heroism

Chapter 274: 274 | I Was Not Your Villain [PS BONUS]

The cafeteria entrance appeared ahead, its double doors propped open and the smell of food wafting into the hallway. Dinner service had started while we were in the changing rooms, and the crowd was thickening as hungry students converged on sustenance.

"Look." I stopped just short of the entrance and turned to face Felicity directly. "What happened today was tactics. The kiss broke Camille’s concentration. The incident with Petra was genuinely accidental. I’m not some kind of romantic predator stalking my classmates during training exercises."

"Nobody said you were."

"Hiro basically said I was."

"Hiro says a lot of things. Most of them are stupid." Felicity tilted her head, her blonde ponytail shifting with the motion. "I’m not judging you, Lukas. I’m teasing you. There’s a difference."

"Hard to tell sometimes."

"Maybe that’s part of the fun." Her smile widened into something that carried edges I hadn’t seen before. "You know, I ended up on a hero team for my match. Completely standard extraction protocol. Very boring. Very by the book."

"Congratulations on your boring standard extraction."

"Thank you." She stepped closer, eliminating the comfortable distance between us until I could smell whatever shampoo she used. Something floral and expensive. "But I was thinking. Maybe next time I should be a villain instead. You know?"

The implication landed with all the subtlety of a brick through a window.

"Felicity."

"What?"

"You were literally a villain in the exercise. Your team designation was V-4."

Her face went through a brief journey of confusion before landing on embarrassed recognition. "Oh. Right. I forgot."

"You forgot you were a villain three hours ago?"

"It’s been a long day! There was a lot happening!" She waved her hand dismissively. "Fine. I was a villain. But I wasn’t your villain. That’s the point I was making."

"That’s not a real friend thing to say, Felicity."

Her laugh came out slightly strangled, like she was processing the fact that she’d just implied she wanted me to pin her against a wall and kiss her during supervised training activities. "I mean. I didn’t mean. What I was trying to say was."

"Take your time."

"Shut up." She punched my arm with approximately zero actual force. "I was being playful. Flirty. You know. Normal Felicity behavior. I wasn’t actually suggesting anything inappropriate."

"Sounded like you were suggesting something inappropriate."

"I was suggesting it ironically."

"Can you suggest inappropriate things ironically?"

"I’m going to start walking into the cafeteria now and we’re never going to speak of this conversation again." Felicity turned toward the entrance with her cheeks visibly pink. "Come on. I’m hungry and you’re being difficult."

I followed her through the double doors, letting the subject drop because pushing it further would have been cruel and also because I was genuinely hungry. The Halloran cafeteria was operating at full dinner capacity, every station staffed and every table filling rapidly with exhausted first-years seeking calories and emotional processing space.

Felicity made a beeline for the pasta station while I surveyed the options. The Korean BBQ was calling to me again, its sizzling meat and perfect sauces promising comfort after a day that had included surveillance footage of my tactical romantic decisions being broadcast to my entire cohort.

I loaded a tray with short ribs and rice and something that looked like kimchi but might have been a support department experiment, then scanned the seating area for familiar faces. Percy and Rina had claimed a corner table and were still deep in conversation. Caden and Marco were arguing about something at a table near the windows. Eden was eating alone with his lighter out, flicking the flame on and off in what was probably a meditative practice.

No sign of Camille. No sign of Petra. Either they were still in assessment or they’d decided to eat elsewhere to avoid the person who’d violated their personal space in ways that would be discussed for the rest of the semester.

I found a seat at an empty table and started eating, letting the flavors of properly seasoned meat distract me from the complicated social dynamics I’d created in less than a single day of academy attendance.

Felicity appeared a few minutes later with a plate of pasta and a smoothie of suspicious green coloring. She sat across from me without asking permission, which tracked with everything I’d learned about her approach to social boundaries.

"So." She twirled pasta around her fork with the practiced ease of someone who’d eaten at expensive restaurants since childhood. "New topic. Not about kissing."

"I appreciate the pivot."

"What did you think of Radiant?"

The question was innocent enough. Everyone was probably asking some version of it right now across every table in the cafeteria. The number one hero in America had just taught their first combat class and exited via controlled sonic boom. Opinions were being formed.

"He’s impressive."

"That’s it? Impressive?"

"What else do you want me to say?"

"I don’t know." Felicity took a bite of pasta and chewed thoughtfully. "Something more specific. More personal. You watched the same thing everyone else did but you always seem to be processing different information."

"He’s faster than anything I’ve ever seen. His acceleration breaks physics in ways that should be impossible. His combat ceiling is classified because deploying it in populated areas would cause mass casualties through secondary effects alone." I shrugged. "And he’s teaching first-year Hero Basics, which either means Halloran has significantly more budget than people assume or he’s here for a reason that hasn’t been announced yet."

Felicity’s fork paused halfway to her mouth. "You think he’s here for a specific reason?"

"The number one hero in America doesn’t teach introductory classes at hero academies. He has a schedule. He has responsibilities. He has agencies and sponsors and a national ranking to maintain." I took a bite of short rib. "But he’s here. In this room. Teaching us."

"Maybe he just cares about education."

"Maybe." I didn’t believe it. Nothing about Radiant’s presence made institutional sense unless there was an angle I wasn’t seeing. "Or maybe something’s happening that requires the symbol of hope to personally observe the next generation of heroes before they graduate."

Felicity set her fork down. "That’s ominous."

"I’m a realist."

"You’re paranoid."

"Those aren’t mutually exclusive."