Chapter 185 - Should I Break This Crappy Partition?
Each and every word that escaped her mouth, her heart pounded louder yet, it didn't bring her any pain— instead, it brought her little more confidence.
"I know these signs, I do. No one made me feel I am safe to be myself except you… maybe I already like you— it's crazy. After being in love for years to someone, I feel like my heart is jumping too fast to another man." Confident, yet, her tone was low as memories of the past flashed before her eyes.
She had love Morris Liu to the deepest part of her heart. Hence, she found it ridiculous to love someone else this fast. After all, it had only been half a year since their engagement was called off and her demise.
Regardless, she knew, even if she denied her heart— Lexi knew Ethan Lu already occupied a special place in her heart. She didn't want this man to change, she would give her utmost understanding, and she was willing to be his strongest support.
However, that was her problem; how can she be a good support if she knew very well that she incapable as of the moment? After all, she was considered as a starter in life: meeting new people, gaining true friends along the way and trying to achieve something for herself.
"You treated me with great value, considered me in everything you do, making me feel safe more than anywhere in the world… Ethan, I never thought that there will be another man that will make me feel this way— an infamous playboy to top it all off." Letting out a faint scoff, Lexi recalled how naughty and provocative he was before—that irked her to the core.
The guy that tried to flirt with her with his winks, with his bewitching smile and his natural flirtatious nature— who would have thought that… this man has hidden gallantry inside? Indeed, just like this place, Ethan Lu was more than with his dashing looks and a tainted reputation.
Setting aside his long list of exes, just like he said, he was just a scum— not part of the lowest of the low; which was utterly silly. Still, to her, whatever reasons behind why he dated too many girls in the past, it didn't matter anymore. What was important to her is the present and how this thing between them would work.
On the other hand, Ethan Lu's heart stopped beating and produced a long flatline sound as he received her words in slow motion. Was he hearing what he was hearing? She like him?
For a moment, Ethan Lu was unable to move as he sat there while looking at the mesmerizing view with eyes open wide. He held his breath and only breathes every two seconds, afraid that he would miss even one word from her.
"A-are y-you confessing to me?" With great effort, Ethan Lu stuttered revealing his shocked, overwhelming happiness and more emotions that were bursting out in his heart all at once.
"Isn't obvious?" Rolling her eyes, Lexi subconsciously turned her head to see Ethan Lu's flabbergasted front through the huge gap of the partition. Fortunately, only his buffed chest was revealed that wasn't enough to distract her.
Turning her gaze back to the setting sun, she continued in a matter of factly tone. "Yes, I am confessing to you, alright? It might not be as beautiful and touching like yours but I am trying to express what I feel for you."
With that said note, something snapped inside his head as a myriad of thoughts came rushing inside his mind. The peace in his mind suddenly turned chaotic as 'I'm getting married' hovered in his senses. If Lexi was accepting him now, then, he would marry her right then and there.
After all, there was a small chapel nearby, her parents were also here to attend their wedding, and they could treat this family outing as their first honeymoon destination. Thoughts like these immediately struck Ethan Lu and slowly, he turned his head to the partition.
For a moment, he wanted to break the partition that separated them in one blow to see what she looks like and listen to her confession face to face. He wanted to witness this lovely words that were escaping her mouth.
"Uhh… this is unfair— should I break this crappy partition?" Impatient, Ethan Lu murmured that still reached Lexi's ear.
"Don't!" Whether he was kidding or not, Lexi aggressively halted him as she wasn't finished yet. Moreover, they were still naked for Pete's sake!
"Ahh!! This is unfair, love! I want to see your face while you're saying these words!" Feeling dejected, Ethan Lu grumbled in dismay.
Heavily sighing, Lexi slightly shook her head. Part of her knew he would complain. However, the reasons why she decided to say these things to him: one was because he opened up about the Lu family, and two, he could not see her— perfect timing for confessing.
"So, should we prepare for our wedding?" Frowning, Ethan Lu didn't go round in circles as he went into the whole bottom line.
"No." Without a second's hesitation, Lexi responded. Indeed, whatever feelings she has for him that was building up firmly in her heart— as she said, she wasn't ready.
"Ethan, I am not rejecting you but, I am not fully accepting you. I know this is selfish and you might not understand, but there's a lot of things going on in me and I don't want to be unfair to commit in a half-hearted love. I want to completely love myself first before loving you… and marrying you." Glancing down, Lexi said in one go.
Indeed, this was the main reason why Lexi denied her feelings for as long as she could remember. Granting that Ethan Lu might be the right person for her— based on the system. However, was she the right person for him now? With her current state of mind and status?
Lexi didn't want to just take if she was going to enter in a relationship. Although she was used to giving in the past— making efforts and such, alas, she could not take too much from Ethan Lu without returning something with the same sincerity.
Despite that he wasn't asking for anything in return and reassured her that he'd make her notice him until she does— Lexi had her own philosophy on things.
"Good grief..." After some time, Ethan Lu heaved a sigh of relief. His response slightly confused Lexi as she didn't expect this from him. At least, she predicted that he'd be disappointed at some point, but being relieved? Never.
"I'm glad to know I'm making progress…" He gently murmured with a tender smile on the side of his lips. His gaze softened as he looked at the awe-inspiring sunset.
"Love, just knowing your resolve equates to the same happiness of being able to love you freely. Don't worry, as you try to find yourself, I will just be on your side holding a flashlight." Sounding sincere as ever, Ethan Lu didn't mind her half approval.
What was important to him was that Lexi was seeing his effort as a man. Actually, part of him already expected this from her. Though they were overwhelmed by his silly thoughts of marriage hence, his mind was momentarily distraught. But now, after calming himself down, Ethan Lu could finally heave a sigh of relief.
Besides, knowing Lexi, if she would accept him just like that— Ethan Lu would be bothered; not that he didn't want her, but he was afraid that she would regret marrying him on a whim.
After all, Ethan Lu never underestimated the word marriage. His heart wouldn't be able to handle it if she told him the words she regretted marrying him.
Upon hearing his response, Lexi's eyes softened as a subtle smile formed on the side of her lips. How could she not like this man if every decision she made, he would unquestionably support and understand her? Thus, she wanted to be complete to love him just as much as he loves her.
"Sorry..."
"Hmm? Why?"
"... for being such a mess," Still spending another beautiful sunset with him, her heart lightened knowing that he was just on the other side of the partition.
"Aren't we both? Still, you're the most beautiful mess." Chuckling at her silly reason, Ethan Lu didn't let this opportunity slide and placed his cheesy lines. On the other hand, she also let out a faint chuckle as she mildly shook her head.
"Ethan, if you ever get tired of this… I"
"Now, I am disappointed." Frowning, Ethan Lu interrupted her midway as he already knew what she was about to say. He added, "First of all, I might get tired along the way but a simple break will suffice. So, Miss Yang, don't ask me to stop pursuing you because I am chasing after my wife— my lifetime partner, alright? How can I give that up?" If only he could sneak his head through the huge gap of the partition, he would scold her as he could not believe whatever she was about to say.
"Uh, alright…" Nearly rendered speechless, Lexi could only raise her brows as she nodded her head. This time, she admitted internally that she would never beat Ethan Lu for his natural heart fluttering words.
"Aiya… this is still unfair." Relaxing his back, Ethan Lu languidly complained with a bright smile and a content heart.
****
[At the island's hotel where the yang parents at.]
"Dear, it seems our daughter and Ethan haven't returned." Worried, Lillian Yang furrowed her brows after touching up for her dinner date with her husband.
"Hmm, that's fine— she's with Ethan, there's nothing to worry about." Confident, Frederick Yang buttoned his shirt cuffs. Looking at his beautiful wife that has a timeless beauty in his eyes, he strode to her back and help her put her necklace.
"You really like him, don't you?" Chuckling, Lillian Yang watched her husband through the vanity mirror. Seeing the subtle smile on the corner of his lips, she added through her giggles. "He's just like you back then."
"Haha, he's much humble… that kid," Frederick Yang let out a gleeful chuckle as he was reminded of his prime years while wooing his wife.
****
Meanwhile…
Churu was looking at the system's status report and Lexi's 95/100 allure points were exhibiting before her eyes. Unlike her excuse to Lexi about her exciting manhunt, Churu didn't find anyone attractive as they didn't have the same dangerous level of Wren Tanaka or Chris Yu.
"Her progress was much sooner than I expected…" She murmured. Although she was happy that Lexi would finally meet her happily ever after, part of her was disappointed that she would part ways with the second human she grew fond of.
"Well, I think I have to pack more facial masks and date men even though they wouldn't be at par with my hubby…" Forcing a meek smile on her adorable face, alas, her eyes depicted her sadness. Letting out a heavy exhale, she looked up to the sky full of thousand stars. "I hate you,"