The other side of Reincarnation
Part Fifty-Four — What the Forest Cost Her
Lyra's three companions parted ways with us a few days later—grateful, but committed to seeking out relatives further south, a plan they'd apparently been weighing before the market square incident forced their hand toward safety first. Lyra herself stayed.
"You didn't want to go with them?" I asked, once we'd seen the others off at the city gate.
"Someone needed to actually investigate whether help existed worth finding," she said. "I volunteered myself for that, some months back. Doesn't feel right, abandoning the task now that it's produced an actual lead."
Practical. I appreciate practical.
"Besides," she added, quieter, "they have family to go to. I don't, particularly. Made more sense for me to be the one still searching."
There it is. Same shape again—no family left to fall back on. Seems to be a prerequisite for ending up in my orbit, lately.
It took a few evenings of careful, patient conversation—much of it initiated by Eris, whose own hard-won gift for drawing people out gently continued to surprise me—before Lyra actually opened up about what had happened to her settlement.
"The forest we lived in bordered land a human lord wanted," she said, one evening, staring into the fire with the specific flatness of someone reciting something they'd rehearsed internally many times before saying it aloud. "Good soil, apparently, for crops he wanted to expand into. Our claim to the land predates his lordship by centuries. Didn't matter."
"What happened?" Eris asked, gentle.
"Legal pressure, at first. Then less legal pressure. Then outright harassment—burned crops, poisoned wells, the kind of slow strangulation designed to make you leave without the lord ever having to admit he'd actually driven you out."
She was quiet a moment.
"My own family held out longest. Stubborn, all of them. It cost my parents their lives, in the end—an 'accident' during one of the lord's men's supposed patrols, that nobody in a position to investigate ever bothered investigating properly."
Another parent lost to someone with power deciding it was owed something. Another door I recognize the shape of, even in a stranger.
"I'm sorry," I said, quiet.
"Everyone says that," she said, not unkindly. "Doesn't fix the well water. Doesn't bring back people who mattered."
She glanced at me, something searching in the look.
"I imagine you understand that better than most, given whatever you're still not telling me."
Sharp. Very sharp.
"I do," I said, simply, not yet ready to give her more than that.
Later, once Lyra had retired for the evening, Anti-Subconsciousness spoke quietly.
<"She has assessed your evasiveness as trauma-related rather than deceptive. Her tolerance for your withheld information appears to stem from recognizing similar patterns in her own reluctance to discuss certain details.">
Good read. Thanks for that.
<"You are welcome. I would also note: her aura-reading skill, combined with elven longevity and training, makes her more likely than most to eventually deduce your nature independently, regardless of whether you choose to disclose it. You may wish to consider the timeline for that disclosure before it is forced upon you by her own observation.">
...Fair point. Didn't think about it from that angle.
"You're being unusually proactive with the advice lately," I said, out loud.
<"You are surrounding yourself with people whose safety depends on accurate information. Withholding useful analysis at this stage would be counterproductive to your stated goals.">
Huh. Didn't realize you cared about my stated goals specifically.
<"I am, functionally, part of you. Your goals are, by extension, structurally relevant to my own function.">
That's either deeply philosophical or a very roundabout way of saying you don't have a choice. Not sure which.
<"Both readings are compatible.">
Lyra settled into our group with a kind of careful, watchful competence that reminded me, in different measure, of both Doran and Fenrik—Doran's tactical patience, Fenrik's guarded pride, blended into something distinctly her own.
She sparred with Eris in the evenings, sharing techniques neither had encountered from the other's tradition, and took to Ace with an immediate, genuine fascination that Ace, for his part, seemed to find flattering.
You are being unusually gracious about her attention, I noted, watching Ace allow Lyra to examine his silver fur with obvious scholarly interest.
She has excellent taste, Ace replied, entirely serious. I am simply accommodating her good judgment.
Sure. That's definitely what's happening.
It was Lyra, a week into traveling properly as a group, who finally asked the question I'd known was coming since the market square.
"I've been patient," she said, one evening, direct as ever. "I think I've earned at least a partial answer, at this point. What are you, Kai? Truly."
I looked at Eris, who gave a small, encouraging nod—she'd been through this exact conversation herself, once, and understood better than most what it cost to finally have it.
Alright. Let's give her something real, then. Not everything. But something.
"I'm reincarnated," I said. "From a different world entirely. Half True Dragon, half archdemon, in this one—a combination that isn't supposed to exist, according to basically everyone who's ever looked closely at what I am. Some very old, very powerful beings decided that meant I should die for it. They killed my parents instead, when I was eight, and I've been dealing with the consequences of what I apparently am ever since."
Lyra was quiet a long moment, processing.
"That," she said finally, "explains rather a lot about your aura."
"Does it scare you?" I asked, genuinely uncertain of the answer.
"No," she said, after real consideration, not just reflexive reassurance. "I've spent my whole life watching power get used to justify cruelty—my own lord, driving us out for soil. Whatever you are, you've used yours to stand between strangers and cruelty twice now, in the time I've known you. That matters more to me than whatever unprecedented thing you technically are."
Well. That's about the best answer I could have hoped for, honestly.
"Thank you," I said, meaning it fully. "For not needing the whole truth to decide that."
"I'll take the rest whenever you're ready to give it," she said. "Elves are patient, if nothing else. We have the years to spare for it."
Fair enough. I think I might actually have those years too, this time, if I'm lucky.
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