Chapter 222: Sleepless Night

"Ah...! Why do you insist on throwing yourself into danger!?"

"In my previous life, I lived a life where I never got to go on any adventures. So I’ve decided that I’m done suppressing myself and giving up everything I want to do. This is my life. I was given the chance to start over, so I’m going to live it the way I want."

"Ahh..."

At that point, Viktor had nothing left to say.

Qiu Nuoya knew that would happen, and he felt a little mean for deliberately pushing his way through the argument anyway. Even so, Viktor could have given up on him out of frustration, yet in the end, he still chose to follow Qiu Nuoya.

Viktor had once described Qiu Tailang as an exceptionally beautiful man whose delicate fleeting expression he had left a particularly strong impression on him. By now, Qiu Nuoya’s impression could hardly have been more different from Qiu Tailang’s.

In fact, Qiu Nuoya intended to become the complete opposite of him.

He is him.

He was not a substitute for anyone.

If that caused Viktor to lose interest in him, then Qiu Nuoya was prepared to accept it. And if Viktor could still love someone who was so completely different from the person he had once loved, then Qiu Nuoya intended to face his own feelings and accept that love.

Well, even so, there was absolutely no way Qiu Nuoya would ever become Viktor’s puppet!

...

That day, they ultimately ended up staying in the room where the princes were lodging. The room was enormous, with several separate bedrooms inside. There were also multiple sofas that were more than soft enough to sleep on, and even the carpet covering the floor was thick and plush. Since Qiu Nuoya and the others were accustomed to sleeping outdoors, they could probably have slept directly on the floor without any problem.

Besides, even if none of those things had been available, Qiu Nuoya had Mochi, a tamed monster capable of transforming its body however it pleased. Mochi could freely change both its shape and softness. At the moment, Qiu Nuoya was leaning against Mochi’s body, which had transformed into something resembling one of those cushions so comfortable that they practically swallowed you whole, while staring up at the ceiling.

The sound of someone’s breathing could be heard in the room. For some reason, Qiu Nuoya could not fall asleep, so he closed his eyes and listened to the quiet breathing around him. Food and sleep were the foundations of a healthy life, so he really needed to get some rest. He began counting sheep, and by the time he had counted more than a hundred, he suddenly sensed someone moving and slowly opened his eyes.

"What’s wrong? Can’t sleep?"

The voice belonged to Igor. Qiu Nuoya tried to answer, but his body had apparently already surrendered to sleep, and he could not manage to produce a sound. Whether or not he realized Qiu Nuoya was barely conscious, Viktor let out a faint, long breath and replied.

"Of course I can’t sleep."

"That’s unusual for you. Aren’t you normally such a heavy sleeper that it’s difficult to wake you? And yet you can’t sleep tonight?"

"Ahh... I guess my arms feel empty. Nuoya hasn’t let me hold him lately."

"Of course he hasn’t. What are you talking about? How shameless."

"Shut up. You’re always clinging to Nuoya without any hesitation yourself."

"I am not."

"Don’t lie."

"...I really am not. Nuoya hates me, after all."

There was a brief silence.

Then Igor let out a long breath.

"Are you seriously saying that?"

"Whether I mean it or not, it is the truth. You heard what he said earlier, didn’t you? I am not so delusional that I could believe someone still loves me after being rejected like that."

"Ahh... That one was your fault."

"Why? What exactly did I do wrong?"

"Exactly what Nuoya said. He’s not your cute little doll that you can do whatever you want with. You’re still such a child when it comes to relationships. You’ve lived for so long, but you don’t actually have any experience with romance, do you?"

Once again, a long silence followed.

After a while, Igor began laughing quietly, as though trying to suppress his voice. Qiu Nuoya could hear Viktor click his tongue softly, followed by the faint rustling of clothes as he shifted.

"You know, Viktor, no matter how much you love someone, two people can never become one. People misunderstand each other over the smallest things, and sometimes they think they’re looking in the same direction when they’re actually facing completely opposite ways. What’s best for you isn’t necessarily what’s best for Nuoya. If you don’t properly understand that, you’ll remain alone forever."

"That is... something I understand."

"Then..."

"I don’t want to lose him."

It was an extremely small voice, barely more than a whisper. The words sounded as though Viktor had forced them out from somewhere deep inside himself. Even Igor seemed unsure of how to respond, and another silence followed.

"I want to protect Nuoya even if it means ignoring his wishes. I don’t want to lose him. Honestly, I want to lock him away somewhere and hide him from the world. I’m only holding myself back."

"Nuoya doesn’t want that."

"I know. That’s why I haven’t done it."

"You’re exactly the kind of person who might actually do something like that, which is why I’m seriously warning you. Viktor, grow up."

"I was already an adult when you were born."

At Viktor’s sulky response, Igor let out a wry laugh.

"You’re just way too childish on the inside."

"Right now, you’re like a child crying because someone took away his favorite toy. Simply crying and saying you don’t want to give it up won’t make anyone return the toy. If you’re an adult, then talk things through properly and look for a solution. That’s what being an adult means. Crying, clinging to someone, and trying to get your way through sheer stubbornness is something children who don’t understand reason do."