Chapter 1273 - 561: Gentlemen, Listen to the Dragon’s Roar (2)

Chapter 1273: Chapter 561: Gentlemen, Listen to the Dragon’s Roar (2)

She just added, "Not to mention Da Huang, even Lin Li has found a girlfriend, and they’ve been together for ages. Min says they’re still in the lovey-dovey phase. But you two? Totally useless."

Lin Li: "?"

Grandma, that was a little hurtful.

Feeling all wronged, time to go complain to Ying Bao~

"Lin Li, can you install a privacy screen on your phone in the future?"

"I don’t think it’s necessary. It keeps out gentlemen, not villains."

"So what you mean is, you’re practically shoving your screen in my face, and somehow that makes me the villain?"

"Whoa, so this is your face, bro? I thought it was my face! My bad, my bad!"

"It’s not my face either. My face is already on the floor."

"Whoa, it really is! Sorry, I just stepped on it."

"Not just once."

Wu Lifeng seriously regretted sitting down too slowly just now, which resulted in him ending up next to Lin Li.

So now not only did he have to endure being grilled by the grown-ups, he also had to suffer Lin Li’s torture.

Ai-yo yo.

Forget it! Don’t talk about it! Drown your sorrows in booze! All the bitterness goes into the glass!

Later on, not just Wu Lifeng, even the adults were starting to get tipsy.

The atmosphere got even more heated, and the topic completely shifted from the love lives and careers of the youngsters to the "wine" part of the banquet.

That day, the "drink, drink" chorus really kicked off.

Uncle, Second Uncle-in-law, and Fourth Uncle-in-law were basically the main force at the table, clinking glasses nonstop, their cheeks flushed a deeper, rosier red.

As the only young man getting special "attention," plus the fact that he himself didn’t mind drinking, Wu Lifeng got poured a lot. His eyes started to go a bit glassy, but he was still trying to stay conscious.

"Lifeng! Come on, come on, have another one with Uncle! This glass is lucky wine, you can’t skip it!" Fourth Uncle-in-law held up his glass, tongue a little thick but full of vigor.

Wu Lifeng looked at the full glass of beer being handed over. His hand was about to reach for it, then he glanced at his phone and changed his tune: "Uncle, hang on, let me reply to a message."

"Okay!"

Lin Li glanced over: he was replying to some flea-market thread on UC Browser.

He finally understood that saying.

—If you’re not replying to messages, you’re drinking; if you’re replying to messages, you’re dodging drinks.

The older generation is not that easy to fool: "Ah Feng! Cut it out! You don’t even have a job, what kind of urgent message do you need to reply to? Even if the sky falls you still gotta finish this glass! You raising fish or what?"

Wu Lifeng pulled a face and picked up his glass: "Fourth Uncle-in-law, I’m really a bit drunk, I wanna sleep, I don’t think I can drink anymore..."

Drinking with the elders means they don’t know the meaning of "take it easy."

"Dizzy?" Fourth Uncle-in-law glared and waved his hand: "Kid, you’re not drunk! Beer has wheat in it, wheat has carbon in it! So it’s not that you can’t hold your liquor, you’re just carbon-dizzy! What’s that got to do with alcohol? Drink! Drink more so the alcohol can press down the carbon!"

Lin Li: "O.o?"

So, so it’s just carbon-dizziness?

"Bro, then just eat less carbs and drink more." Lin Li said kindly.

Wu Lifeng: "..."

The logic was so powerful he couldn’t even argue.

He could only steel himself and pour the carbon solution down his throat, feeling his head get even heavier.

But after all, Wu Lifeng was just a junior, basically fighting on the fringe of the battlefield. After Grandma scolded Uncle and the Uncles-in-law a few times, she let it go and went back to drinking with them.

"Drink!"

"Bottoms up!"

Second Uncle-in-law seemed to hit his limit too. His face turned a bit pale as he covered his mouth and wobbled to his feet, his voice mushy: "Mm... I’m gonna... go to the... bathroom..."

His steps were clearly wobbly, so when he passed by Lin Li, Lin Li stood up: "Uncle, let me give you a hand."

Second Uncle-in-law jerked his hand away—well, that’s how it went in his mind, but in reality the motion was big yet utterly floppy. He tried to stand up straight, his eyes struggling to focus, and said in a tone of unquestionable authority:

"Hand... hand what hand! I’m not drunk at all! See, I’m standing perfectly steady, aren’t I?"

Lin Li blinked: "Uncle, you can’t even walk in a straight line anymore."

"Can too... I’ll show you..." Second Uncle-in-law tried several times, then suddenly frowned hard: "Lin Li!"

"Your nephew is here!"

"Help me hold this road still! It keeps wobbling! So annoying!"

"Your nephew understands!"

Lin Li was furious. How could this road be so wicked, actually stopping his uncle from walking straight!!

Smack you, smack you, smack you!

Once the two finished their little exchange, the table fell quiet for a second, then burst into louder laughter.

"What’re you all laughing at?" Second Uncle-in-law, now leaning against the wall, was totally confused.

"They’re laughing that Zhuge Liang had no strategy and Zhou Yu lacked brains! If it were my army, I’d ambush a troop right here. Even if we didn’t get captured, we’d still suffer heavy losses!" Lin Li explained.

"True enough..."

Once Second Uncle-in-law went into the bathroom, Lin Li came back and poured a cup of hot water for the glassy-eyed Wu Lifeng, restoring a bit of his humanity.

He’d actually wanted to copy Grand Blue and give him some flammable hot water.

But he was afraid Wu Lifeng might literally die here.

Second Uncle-in-law stayed a while, and they could hear the sound of vomiting.

Second Aunt went to check. Seeing it wasn’t serious, she came back.

After a good while, there was movement from the bathroom again.

Having finished puking, Second Uncle-in-law walked back a little more steadily, but his face still didn’t look great, as he slowly returned to his seat.

"Well? Did you throw up? Feeling better?"

"I didn’t throw up! What throwing up?" At that, Second Uncle-in-law straightened his back and frowned.

"Still trying to play tough?" Uncle burst out laughing. "We all heard you clear as day."

"What nonsense! I did not!"

"Is there maybe another possibility..."

Lin Li decided to help out his Second Uncle-in-law and began musing aloud.

Once everyone looked over, Lin Li continued earnestly, "Uncle really wasn’t puking, he was actually just practicing his dragon roar."

"My lords, listen to the dragon—"

"Bleagh—" Second Uncle-in-law, whose dragon bloodline apparently just awakened, clapped a hand over his mouth and bolted back toward the bathroom.

Lin Li scratched his head.

Uncle.

This time your nephew really can’t help you.

At these banquets, the ones who leave early are always the juniors.

As the reigning bottom-ranked junior of the day, Miao Miao resolutely got up from his seat, announcing that he was full.

"Sis, give me money, I wanna play with firecrackers." Once off the table, Miao Miao immediately turned to Qin Xuan.

"Ask your mom." Qin Xuan kicked the ball away without hesitation.

"Miao Miao, I’ve got some on me. I’ll give you a pack to play with." Lin Li pulled a little box of safe snap-pops out of his pocket and handed it to Miao Miao. "Miao Miao, when big brother gives you something, what are you supposed to say?"

Miao Miao looked up at Lin Li sincerely: "Big brother, got any more?"

"Exactly!!" Lin Li clapped his hands in delight.

Looks like in just one month, Miao Miao has emerged from the clear water unstained, washed in the mud and risen even higher, still staying true to his nature!

"Exactly my ass, Lin Li! He’s not your little brother so you don’t feel bad about teaching him this, huh?" Watching Lin Li encourage Miao Miao, Qin Xuan finally lost it and snapped.

But one box of snap-pops doesn’t last long; they were used up quickly.

Lin Li’s gourd and ring still had plenty more, but he couldn’t keep pulling them out—that would make no sense.

So Miao Miao eventually went to his mom for money, planning to buy more.

It was New Year’s after all, so Aunt didn’t want to spoil the fun. She took a ten-yuan bill out of her pocket and handed it to Miao Miao, reminding him at the same time:

"Miao Miao, making money isn’t easy, so watch how you spend it, okay?"

"Got it, Mom!" Miao Miao carefully clenched the bill in his fist, nodded hard, and ran out.

Everyone was fine with him going out alone.

The little convenience store was only a few dozen meters away, and all the neighbors around here knew each other and would look out for Miao Miao.

Nothing unexpected happened; soon Miao Miao came back safe and sound.

"Miao Miao, how much did you spend?" Second Aunt called her son over when she saw him carrying a red plastic bag full of firecrackers.

"All of it!" Miao Miao spread his palm, which was completely empty.

"Tsk, you didn’t listen at all. Didn’t I tell you to watch what you spend?" Second Aunt had more or less expected this, but could only smile helplessly at a kid’s nature.

Miao Miao felt wronged: "Mom, I did watch! I spent it at exactly 2:17 p.m...."

"?"

"..."

"..."

"That’s not the ’point’ I meant!!!"