Chapter 137: Love and Hate

As she walked past the tent and ordered the subordinates to prepare the carriages, her mind was filled with the memory of the last time she met Oshan.

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.

.

It was the same place again.

The narrow path of Mount Mraor, deeper into Skerrow Brake forest.

Fallen pine needles still made a soft carpet under her boots. The same thicket waited ahead.

She stopped a few steps away, holding the edge of her cape.

The time was not right, and she was afraid the Alpha would find out about her going out so frequently.

As she stood there, a soft chuckle came from the other side.

"You are late."

"Are they still alive? What were you doing these days? You didn’t answer my signal." Though she tried to stay calm, her voice still trembled with tension.

"Were you worried about me?"

"Answer me."

"A little bit? Were you, Alisa?" He asked. His voice was low and tired.

"Oshan!"

"Fine. They are alive... but barely." His voice slowed. "Leo and Rio have been poisoned badly. They are crippled by now. Rest assured."

Alisa exhaled a quiet sigh of relief.

"And the others?"

"They’re still hiding in the deep forest around the gorge. They won’t last long without support."

Her fingers tightened under the cape.

"You saw them yourself?"

"I did."

"And the witch?"

"Still with them. Looks a little better, but not much."

Another silence stretched between them.

Then Oshan spoke again, voice low and deep.

"Let me look at you, Alisa. It’s been so long..." His voice trailed off.

"I asked you to kill them. Why didn’t you kill them?"

"Just for a moment. I haven’t seen your face for ages."

"Why didn’t you kill them, Oshan?"

He gave a low, tired laugh. "Still the same as usual, aren’t you? Did you even hear me?"

Alisa let out a long sigh.

"Don’t torture yourself and don’t make things difficult for me, Oshan. You know why I can’t hear those words."

"I know." He murmured.

"I understand. I always understood. I understand so much that I don’t want to understand anymore."

Her throat felt dry.

She couldn’t tell him not to come anymore.

She still needed him.

She was selfish.

Selfish and spoiled.

She wanted to live in luxury.

Was it her fault to want to live well?

She hated how easily he could still affect her heart with a few soft words.

"Don’t," she said. "Don’t start this again."

"I’m not starting anything." A dry branch cracked under his boot. "I just... miss you. That’s all."

She took a step back without thinking.

"Don’t come out, Oshan."

"I won’t." He sounded almost resigned. "I never do. Not unless you allow it."

The forest fell quiet again.

Somewhere a bird called once and then stopped.

Alisa reached into her sleeve, pulled out a small pouch, and threw it over the thicket. It landed with a soft thud.

The pouch disappeared into the leaves.

No refusal came this time.

She held her cape tightly and turned to leave.

Her eyes were red, but her jaw was tight with determination. With every step she took toward the palace, her heart turned colder and colder.

She was momentarily engrossed in suppressing her inner turmoil.

Suddenly, a strong arm locked around her waist from behind and pulled her hard against a solid chest.

The familiar scent of leather and pine hit her.

She whipped her face around instinctively, and a rough palm yanked her mask down.

His mouth pressed against hers instantly.

Rough.

Hungry.

Almost desperate.

His teeth bit on her lower lip, then his tongue slipped in.

One hand held the back of her neck, pressing her closer.

For a moment of confusion, Alisa didn’t fight.

She forgot to push the tongue out. She even sucked in the saliva in her mouth.

For once, the memory of a boy who used to wait for her under the wisteria trees melted her body.

But that was just for once.

Then reality hit her hard.

She pushed the man away and wiped her lips with the back of her hand.

SLAP!

The slap landed faster than the warmth could fade from their bodies. She slapped him across the face with everything she had.

The sound cracked through the quiet forest.

Oshan’s head snapped to the side.

A red mark already rose on his cheek. Yet he still held her waist closer.

"Alisa..."

"Let go!"

"Alisa..." ℯℯ𝑙.

"LET GO!"

She shoved him hard and stumbled back. Her breathing became faster. Her chest felt too tight.

Alisa fixed the mask with shaking fingers.

"Never again," she said, voice trembling.

"You know we can’t. You know what happens if anyone finds out."

She turned and started to run.

She did not even care that her cape was hanging off one shoulder or that her hair was disheveled.

She just ran with all her leftover resolve.

As if the moment she left this place, all the memories would erase themselves.

Behind her, Oshan stayed frozen in place, one hand slowly rising to the mark on his cheek.

The freezing wind moved through the pines, carrying away the last of her footsteps... and his soft, broken laughter; she could no longer hear.

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.

.

But she heard it. The sounds of the soft laughter. That still lingered in her heart.

Luna walked past the tent and sat on the stool.

The coachman and the servants were all busy around her. No one noticed her crumpled face under the veil.

"Luna, the carriage is ready." A servant girl informed her.

Alisa looked at the carriage that represented her pride and status. She folded whatever was left of her heart into a deep, dark corner where even she would never dig it out again.

When she stood up again, there was no memory left on her face, no lingering desperation.

Only the Luna of the Vaelis pack remained—the woman who could command an entire pack with just a flick of her fingers.

Soon Alpha rode the carriage beside her, and they left the poisonous Black Sea area toward the palace.

Luna looked outside at the passing path, her expression calm and cold.

She had already decided.

Once Oshan finished killing those defective brothers, she would cut off all contact with him.

As for Emma...

She needed a new henchman.

Someone cleaner.

Someone stronger.

Someone who would not dig up old feelings.

Someone who could help her finally remove that woman from her path.

Nothing else mattered. Love or hate. Let’s bury it all here.

She still had a higher place to climb.