Chapter 163: More than your body

"I don’t care. I want to be burned."

Rauf held her close from behind. She could hear his heartbeat against her back. When he finally spoke, his voice came out husky and deeper than usual.

"Mami, we should be training, not distracting each other."

Although he couldn’t care less about the training.

Fuck training, when he got to hold her like this.

June turned around to face him, looking directly into his eyes.

"I know, but I want you. I want you so badly," she said, her voice coming out as a whisper. "I want you to touch me. I want you to pin me to the bed the way you usually do. I want to feel every inch of you inside me."

Rauf sucked in a breath. "You’re killing me, Mami. And I want you too."

June’s eyes were moist.

She was no longer on the training ground but in a room with Rauf. Her hand had slowly started trailing down his chest.

"But I can’t, Mami." He spoke, suddenly moving backwards. "I want you, but not in this way, Mami. I just don’t want your body. I want all of you."

It felt as though cold water had been splashed over her body. June turned away, putting some distance between them.

She didn’t dare look Rauf directly in the eyes, but he closed the distance he had created between them. He held her chin, slowly lifting her head.

"Mami, it’s not what you think. I really want you, but I don’t want you to regret making this decision. I just don’t want your body. I want the whole of you."

June wanted to shout that there was no way she was going to regret it. But, in another way, she knew Rauf was right. She knew that if she went through with it, she might end up blaming herself when she was alone.

She walked back to the table and picked up the gun.

"Let’s just continue the training," she said. Her voice came out hoarse.

Rauf stared at her for a while. He moved his hand towards her, shifting on his feet as he tried to make himself look more presentable. However, he didn’t say a word.

"Fine. Let’s go back to training. Drop the gun and dismantle it," he told her.

June did as he said. Her focus was on the gun as she dismantled it. She didn’t dare look at him for fear of what she might see in his eyes.

She knew he hadn’t rejected her because he didn’t want her. There was no way he could have faked that erection behind her.

She had felt him.

Yet she knew he had rejected her for her own sake. Still, it hurt just as much as it would have if he had rejected her because he didn’t want her.

"Now, I want you to put it back together within ten minutes," he said.

June started working on it, but as she took most of the parts apart, one fell from her hand. Her hand was shaking, and her body was still in shock from what had just happened. She could barely concentrate.

After a while of trying to assemble it without success, June dropped the gun back onto the table. She shook her head.

"I’m sorry. I don’t think I can do this. Can we try again later, another day?"

Rauf stepped backwards, putting some distance between them. He folded his arms over his chest.

"It’s no problem. Anytime you want, you can take as much rest as you need."

But before he could say another word, June ran out of the training ground. She ran as fast as her feet could carry her until the building was nothing more than a small house behind her.

She didn’t go straight to her bedroom. Instead, she went to her safest place of comfort, her office.

As she entered her office, she locked the door behind her. She stood against the door, trying to control her breathing. Slowly, she moved her hand straight to her aching pussy.

It was wet.

It had been so long, so very long, that she felt she was going to go crazy if she didn’t get any release.

She moved towards the bed, plunging one finger deep into herself while imagining it was Rauf.

"Rauf..."

She whispered his name as she moved her hand inside herself.

Soon, her other hand pressed against her breast. Instead of making the ache stop, the pressure only increased it.

Sweat glistened on her body as she arched her back.

She wanted more than just her hand inside her.

This was torture.

Nothing less than torture.

Regardless of how fast she moved her hand, she could never compete with Rauf’s cock.

Yes, she didn’t give up.

If she couldn’t have the real deal, she didn’t mind settling for something as small as her finger.

She closed her eyes, her mind filled with the image of Rauf, naked and hard.

She applied more pressure with her hand, and soon, she felt herself coming.

June let out a breath of relief, remaining in her shattered state on the bed.

How was she supposed to face Rauf after all of this?

There was no way she would go back to hiding her face.

Well, she just had to deal with it.

And probably, soon, Rauf would learn to give in to her.

She moved towards the adjoining bathroom in her office and cleaned herself.

Once she was done, she smiled.

That was amazing.

Though, it was nothing like the real deal.

Her heart was filled with longing.

And deep down, she knew she couldn’t settle for this. She needed the real deal.

But before then, she needed to control herself and get ready for the party.

She moved in front of her computer, typing something in.

But her mind refused to focus on her research.

For a moment, she was back in the training room, her back pressed against Rauf.

At that moment, June knew she was doomed.

It was either Rauf or nothing.