Chapter 156: Moving On 1

Lucian’s POV

The she-wolf they presented to me was beautiful.

Blonde, light-skinned, blue-eyed, and with a gentleness about her that was visible even from where I stood. She wore a gown and carried herself with quiet composure. I sized her up from head to toe right there where she stood, and she held my gaze without flinching.

"So she’s the one?" I asked.

Not for confirmation. I already knew the answer. The question was really me asking why I hadn’t been allowed to choose for myself ... why they never trusted my judgment enough to let me. And standing there in that moment, I realised something that had been sitting beneath the surface for years.

I had never really picked anything in my life.

My father picked for me. The elders picked Tessa. Then they picked Tessa again. Every major decision had been handed to me already made, already sealed, already decided.

Fuck it.

"She is your Luna-to-be, and we believe she possesses every quality that makes a good Luna," one of the elders said.

I rubbed my chin and gave them a nod.

"Very well."

"The ceremony will also include the inauguration of the new Beta, Valerie," another elder added.

They weren’t wasting time. The ceremony was happening immediately. Of course it was. They didn’t care about where my head was, and I hadn’t expected them to. I was the Alpha. I was supposed to have moved on by now ... or at least look like it.

I told them I needed some time alone and that they should proceed with the preparations without me.

No parents. No shoulder to lean on. Just me and whatever nature was willing to offer.

I knew I was stepping into a new season of my life. I just wasn’t in the right state of mind to walk into it yet. So I packed a few supplies and went up the mountain. Valerie suggested I take the car, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to use my legs. I needed the stretch, the resistance, the ache of something physical to drown out the noise in my head.

I got what I came for.

Reaching the summit close to midday gave me something. Not everything I needed, but something. The air up there was clean and sharp the way it always was, and for the first time in weeks I breathed without it feeling like a chore. This heartbreak had made me realise I needed more of the real and less of everything artificial.

I left my phone and all my gadgets behind. No music. Just a spread, water, and some fruit juice. Nothing but the sound of silence so complete I could hear the trees shifting when the wind passed through them.

I sat at the top and let myself be still.

The mountain wasn’t very different from the one where I had once gone searching for Leah and Freya ... my breeders at the time. That memory was still fresh, sharper than I would have liked. I had been so furious when they escaped that I was ready to do anything, go anywhere, burn everything down to get them back.

They were caught in the end.

But I came away with a scar from that Chapter. Got it the night I pulled Selene from a bear that would have killed her. I hadn’t known what I was feeling then. I hadn’t wanted to admit it. I kept telling myself it was something else ... instinct, possession, obligation ... anything but what it actually was.

No one can really deceive themselves forever though.

What else could it have been if not love? What else would make me want her more than I had ever wanted anyone? I had seen her, taken her in as my breeder when the entire pack believed she was a murderer. I could have let them execute her. Instead I drew her closer and closer until I was willing to die for her without even thinking about it. I hadn’t recognised it for what it was until I was standing on top of that mountain ... and by then it was already too late.

I fought hard not to cry.

I held it together the best I could, but one tear slipped out anyway.

I had spent my whole life locked up inside myself ... unexpressive, cold, and as ruthless as they all knew me to be. And the one time I finally let someone in, truly let someone in, I couldn’t keep her. I would never love another she-wolf the way I loved Selene. Not Celeste. Not Tessa. No one.

I must have dozed off somewhere in the middle of all those thoughts, because when I opened my eyes the sky was orange and the sun was already sinking. That was undoubtedly the best sleep I had gotten since Selene left. Unplanned and unbothered and completely dreamless.

I made my way back down the mountain on foot and returned to the chambers.

The place was already decorated for the ceremony. Every corridor, every hall. I didn’t need any of this, but it had to be done ... the needful had to happen. I had been married before and hadn’t even enjoyed that one, yet here I was again, making do with whatever they placed in front of me.

I went into my room and lay down. The wedding was scheduled for first thing the following morning. They had clearly handled all the logistics and announcements without me. I didn’t care. I closed my eyes and stared at the ceiling until Valerie knocked and let herself in.

"I’m sure you had a good trip, Alpha," she said. That smile of hers ... it was constant, unshakeable ... and somehow it pulled one out of me too without my permission.

"I did. Thank you, Beta," I said back.

She dropped to her knees immediately. "The honour is mine, Alpha. Truly. Thank you ... thank you for this."

"Get up," I told her. "No one else could do it the way you will."

She thought I was just saying something nice. I wasn’t. Valerie was about to become the first female Beta in the entire Morvaine district, and I wasn’t the least bit conflicted about it. She was setting a record ... building a path others would walk after her.

"The wedding preparations are all set, Alpha," she said as she rose. "You’ll be married by tomorrow."

"You mean married again," I said, and I didn’t bother hiding the sigh.

"It’s a beautiful thing," she offered.

"Oh, really?" I let the sarcasm sit right there between us.

She smiled through it. "And not just that ... she’s beautiful too. Your Luna-to-be is actually here. She came to see you."

I sat up from the bed.

"Like she’s outside right now?"

Valerie nodded.

I got up and crossed to the mirror quickly. Checked my face. Ran a hand over my jaw, wiped the sweat off, smoothed out what needed smoothing. Made sure I looked like something other than a man who had just been crying on a mountaintop.

Valerie was laughing quietly behind me, trying to hold it in.

"Quiet, Valerie." I caught her eye in the reflection. "I don’t have to look miserable." We both laughed at that.

I told her to send Celeste in, and she did, slipping out to give us the room.

I didn’t regret a single touch I had made to my face, because when Celeste walked in, she walked in like something sculpted. Her aura filled the room before she even opened her mouth ... a quiet, composed kind of beauty that demanded attention without asking for it.