The Legendary Sword Saint Is Not Dead! (Re:Zero Parody)
(27) In The Assembly: 04
The court, still buzzing with excitement and disbelief, didn't seem inclined to let the matter rest. Whispers of Theresia's legendary deeds and the implications of her apparent return filled the air.
Finally, one of the Sage Council members cleared their throat, their voice commanding attention. "This… revelation, if true, is monumental. However, this matter can be discussed at a later time. For now, we must proceed with the Royal Selection assembly."
Subaru sighed, her shoulders slumping in relief. "Finally, some sense around here."
Reinhard, however, remained resolute. His piercing blue eyes followed Subaru as she moved to stand beside Emilia, his unwavering belief clear.
Subaru muttered to herself, "Great. Just great. First, I'm a 'hero girl,' now I'm someone's grandmother. What's next?!"
The assembly proceeded smoothly, the candidates presenting their goals with varying levels of passion and arrogance. Surprisingly, no one dared to ill-speak of Emilia this time, their attention entirely consumed by Subaru, the enigmatic red-haired knight who may or may not be the "Ex-Sword Saint."
Throughout the discussions, Reinhard sat stiffly, his piercing blue eyes fixed on Subaru with an intensity that bordered on unsettling. Subaru, trying to focus on the proceedings, couldn't help but feel the weight of his gaze burning a hole through her very soul.
With the assembly concluded, the candidates began to disperse, their entourages bustling around them. Subaru was just beginning to breathe a sigh of relief when Reinhard suddenly appeared in front of her, blocking her path.
"Grandmother," he began, his voice trembling slightly, "I need answers. Where were you all this time? Why do you look so young? And… why didn't you come back? Are you still mad at me for… for killing you?"
Subaru blinked, her jaw dropping. "What? Killing me?! Dude, I think you've got the wrong person!"
Reinhard, however, was deaf to reason. His earnest expression remained unwavering as he took a step closer. "I know it's you. There's no mistake. Please, Grandmother, tell me—why didn't you return to us?!"
Subaru raised her hands in exasperation. "Look, buddy, I don't know what you're smoking, but I'm not your grandmother! I'm just a—"
Before she could finish, Reinhard grabbed her hand, his grip firm. His blue eyes bore into hers, desperation evident.
"Theresia," he said softly, almost pleading.
Subaru sighed heavily. "Okay, that's it. I've had enough of this!" With a swift motion, she grabbed his wrist, twisted it, and sent him flying into a nearby ornamental fish pond with a loud splash. The decorative koi scattered in panic as Reinhard resurfaced, water dripping from his soaked hair.
Subaru pointed at him, her face red with irritation. "Get a doctor, Reinhard! Seriously, go see someone about this!"
Reinhard blinked, confused. "Are you… worried about my health, Grandmother? Rest assured, my divine protection of—"
Subaru clenched her fists, barely resisting the urge to scream. "Not for you, idiot! For the poor therapist who's going to have to deal with all your issues!"
Before the situation could escalate further, Felt appeared, grabbing Reinhard by the collar and yanking him out of the pond. "C'mon, you crazy knight. You're embarrassing me," she muttered, dragging him away like a scolding older sibling.
The Councillors wanted to talk about Subaru but Rosewall managed to make them postponed it.
As they disappeared into the distance, Emilia approached Subaru, her face a mixture of concern and confusion. "Subaru… are you okay? What was that all about?"
Subaru opened her mouth to respond but faltered, unsure of how to even begin explaining the chaos that had just unfolded. "Uh… long story," she finally muttered.
Before Emilia could press further, Ram appeared, her usual sharp tone cutting through the tension. "If Subaru-sama has caused trouble again, I—"
"Shut up," Subaru snapped, rubbing her temples.
Ram huffed but said nothing more, clearly deciding this wasn't a battle worth fighting.
Rosewall, standing a few paces away, watched the scene with a Cheshire-like grin, his amusement barely concealed. Otto, meanwhile, was furiously scribbling notes into his ever-growing book. He didn't even look up as he muttered to himself, "Three pages! This'll be a masterpiece!"
Subaru sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Why is my life like this?" she muttered under her breath.
Subaru stomped through the halls, her boots echoing against the marble floor as she dragged Emilia and Ram behind her. "Alright, Ros-chi, you've got some explaining to do! Why in the ever-loving hell was that moron calling me his grandmother?! And don't say 'divine protection of grandmother sensing' again because I might actually scream!"
Rosewall, leaning casually against a pillar with his usual smug grin, tilted his head. "Ohhh, Subaru-sama, you looked exactly like Theresia van Astrea—Reinhard's dearly departed grandmother and the previous Sword Saint. How could he not be confused, hmmm?"
Subaru froze mid-step, her face a mixture of shock and horror. "Wait. What?"
Rosewall twirled his cane, seemingly oblivious to Subaru's rising panic. "It's true! Same red hair, same striking blue eyes, even the same aura. Why, it's almost uncanny."
Subaru's jaw dropped as she spun to face him fully. "And you never thought to mention this to me before?!"
Rosewall shrugged, his tone light. "Becaaause you neeeever assssked?"
Subaru's eye twitched. "You—you're unbelievable, Ros-chi!"
Now Emilia was looking at her with wide, curious eyes, her brows furrowed in concern. "Subaru… are you sure you don't have amnesia or something? I mean, if you really are the Sword Saint…"
"I am not the Sword Saint!" Subaru groaned, running her fingers through her hair in frustration. "I'm 18 years old, for crying out loud! I don't even like swords that much!"
Ram, ever the voice of sarcasm, crossed her arms. "Barusu-sama is far too idiotic to be the legendary Sword Saint."
"Hey!" Subaru snapped, glaring at her. "You don't have to be smart to be legendary!"
Before the argument could escalate, a figure appeared at the end of the hallway, gracefully approaching them with feline-like ease. Subaru tensed, recognising the playful smirk even before he bowed dramatically.
"Greetings, Subaru-sama!" the man purred, his voice dripping with amusement. "I am Felix Argyle, Crusch-sama's loyal knight, nyh!"
Subaru blinked, momentarily thrown off by the man's overly cheerful demeanor and catlike mannerisms. "…Okay?"
Felix's eyes gleamed as he straightened, pulling an ornate envelope from his sleeve. "I come bearing an invitation, nyh! Crusch-sama cordially invites you to visit her camp."
Subaru narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Why?"
Felix's smirk widened. "Oh, nyh… you'll find out when you get there."
"That's not suspicious at all," Subaru muttered under her breath.
With a playful wink, Felix turned on his heel and began to walk away, leaving behind more questions than answers. Subaru stared at the letter in her hand, her gut telling her this was going to be nothing but trouble.
"Well, that was weird," she muttered, turning back to Rosewall. "Okay, Ros-chi, what's the deal with—"
She stopped mid-sentence, realising that Rosewall was no longer there. "Wait… where the hell is the clown?!"
Emilia blinked in confusion. "He was just here a minute ago…"
Subaru groaned, slapping a hand to her forehead. "Of course. Typical Ros-chi."
Ram, unimpressed, sighed. "If Barusu-sama didn't have the attention span of a walnut, perhaps you would have noticed him leaving."
Subaru threw her hands in the air. "Oh, come on! Cut me some slack here!"
Emilia giggled softly, patting Subaru's shoulder. "Don't worry, Subaru. I'm sure we'll find him."
Subaru let out a long sigh, crumpling the invitation slightly in her grip. "Yeah, sure. But first, let's figure out what this is about. Because if I have to deal with one more person thinking I'm some reincarnated sword grandma, I might lose it."
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