The Legendary Sword Saint Is Not Dead! (Re:Zero Parody)
(23) Tic Tac: 04
Steam rose like ethereal clouds in the massive bathhouse, the kind of luxury Subaru had never dreamed of back in her old world. The pool of crystal-clear water shimmered under the warm lighting, the marble walls glistening with condensation. Stripped of her armour and casual clothes, Subaru sank into the hot water with a groan of pure bliss, letting the soothing heat wash over her muscles.
"Man, this is life," she muttered, leaning back against the edge of the pool. Her red hair clung to her damp shoulders, her blue eyes closed as she savoured the rare moment of peace.
But peace, as Subaru was learning in this world, was often fleeting.
"Good morning, Subaru!"
The familiar voice startled her, her eyes snapping open to see Emilia standing at the doorway of the bathhouse.
"E-EMILIA?!" Subaru's voice cracked as she scrambled to cover herself, though the water did most of the work. Her face turned the colour of her hair as she frantically waved her arms. "W-what are you doing here?!"
Emilia tilted her head, her silver hair falling like a curtain over her shoulder. She looked genuinely puzzled. "Um, taking a bath? Isn't that what you're doing?"
"Yes, but—" Subaru's words caught in her throat as Emilia began untying the ribbon of her nightgown.
Her heart raced. No, no, no, this couldn't be happening. "Wait! Hold on! You can't just—this is—what about privacy?!"
Emilia giggled, a sound so innocent it only made the situation worse. "Oh, Subaru, don't be silly. It's just the two of us. There's no need to be shy!"
The nightgown slipped off her shoulders, pooling around her feet, and Subaru shut her eyes so tightly she saw stars. Don't look, don't look, don't look!
"I also had this wondeeerful idea," Emilia continued, stepping into the pool, her voice light and cheerful.
Subaru kept her eyes squeezed shut, but her imagination was running wild, and not in a way she wanted. "W-w-wonderful idea? What idea? Couldn't it wait until later? Or, you know, not here?!"
The water rippled as Emilia moved closer, her voice practically next to Subaru's ear. "I was thinking we could practice for the Assembly! You know, rehearse how you'll stand by me and protect me in front of everyone."
"That's great and all," Subaru said through gritted teeth, her hands covering her face. "But couldn't we do this when we're fully clothed?!"
"Subaru, are you okay? Your face is really red," Emilia said, concern lacing her tone.
"It's the heat!" Subaru yelped. "This water's, uh, super hot!"
"Oh no, should I cool it down?"
"NO!" Subaru practically shouted, her voice echoing off the marble walls.
There was a moment of silence, and then Subaru felt a gentle tap on her shoulder. "Subaru, why are your eyes closed? You're not going to fall asleep, are you?"
"I'm meditating," Subaru lied.
"In the bath? That's impressive!"
Subaru groaned internally. She could feel the water shifting as Emilia got even closer. The silver-haired half-elf probably had no idea what kind of torture she was putting Subaru through.
"Subaru," Emilia said softly, her tone curious, "why are you acting so strange? You're not embarrassed, are you?"
"N-no! Of course not!" Subaru's voice cracked again.
"Then open your eyes," Emilia said, her voice carrying a hint of a challenge.
Subaru's heart sank. She couldn't think of a valid excuse fast enough. Reluctantly, she cracked one eye open, then the other.
There she was—Emilia, in all her naked glory, sitting right next to her in the pool. The steam clung to her porcelain skin, her long silver hair cascading over her shoulders and barely covering her chest. Her violet eyes sparkled with genuine curiosity, completely oblivious to Subaru's inner turmoil.
Subaru's brain short-circuited. "I-I-I—"
"See? That's not so bad, is it?" Emilia smiled, completely at ease. "Now we can talk properly!"
Subaru desperately tried to keep her eyes on Emilia's face, but her gaze betrayed her, flicking downward for a split second. 'Damn it, Subaru! Eyes up, you idiot!' And her hawk eyes, in that split second, saw everything in ample details.
"So, about the Assembly," Emilia began, leaning closer. "Do you think I should wear something formal, or maybe something simpler to show I'm approachable?"
"Uh-huh," Subaru said weakly, nodding without really hearing her.
Emilia tilted her head, her brows furrowing slightly. "Subaru, are you sure you're okay? You're sweating a lot."
"It's the steam!" Subaru blurted, her voice an octave higher than usual.
"Maybe we should get out if it's too hot for you," Emilia suggested, already starting to stand.
"No!" Subaru grabbed her wrist, panic overtaking her. "Stay in! Please! Don't—uh—don't catch a cold from leaving too soon!"
Emilia blinked, then smiled warmly. "Aw, you're so thoughtful, Subaru."
Thoughtful? More like desperate to avoid a heart attack!
Just then, the door creaked open again. Subaru's head snapped toward the sound, her already frayed nerves threatening to unravel completely.
It was Betty, peeking in with a book in her hands. "There you are, I suppose!" she said, her eyes locking onto Subaru.
"NOT NOW, BETTY!" Subaru screamed, causing the loli to blink in confusion.
Emilia looked between Subaru and Betty, her expression puzzled. "Why are you yelling? Betty's just checking on us."
"No reason! Totally fine! Let's all just stay calm and not make this weirder!"
Betty frowned, then sniffed the air. Her gaze sharpened as she focused on Subaru. "Your mana smells different, I suppose."
"Great observation! Let's discuss it later!" Subaru said, frantically waving her off.
Betty's eyes narrowed, but she didn't press further. She turned and left, muttering something about "idiots in the bath."
As the door clicked shut, Subaru exhaled a breath she didn't realise she was holding.
"Subaru," Emilia said softly, her violet eyes searching her face.
"Y-yeah?" Subaru stammered, bracing for whatever came next.
"Thank you for always being there for me." Emilia's smile was radiant, her sincerity cutting through the awkwardness like a beam of light.
Subaru's shoulders relaxed, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Of course, Emilia-tan. Always."
The rest of the bath passed in relative silence, though Subaru tried, and failed to keep a safe distance and her eyes firmly above water.
Being a girl sucks... almost.
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