The Laziest God Mortal Reincarnation

Chapter 105: Naming Things Is Hard

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While Alash Vortex was discovering that leadership apparently involved regulations, responsibilities, and preventing thirty-six people from skipping class,the other four class leaders were receiving the same booklet.

Fortunately for Zenith Academy, none of them reacted to it quite the same way.

***

( Class One Residence )

Elizabeth Aurelius had already finished reading half the booklet before the Academy assistant finished explaining what it was.

She sat at one of the large tables in Residence One, posture straight, yellow eyes moving steadily across each page, cataloguing it the way she catalogued everything: once for content, once for what the content implied.

Adrian sat opposite her.

"You know you don’t have to memorize it."

Elizabeth turned another page.

"I am not memorizing it."

"You’ve read every line."

"I am reading it."

"Twice."

"The second reading is for context."

Adrian decided not to ask what the third would be for.

Around them, Class One was slowly settling into the residence.

Students carried luggage upstairs.

Several others were examining the study rooms and training facilities.

A few were still discussing their third-place result in the orientation examination.

Elizabeth had already reconstructed most of their mistakes in her head.

Twice.

The assistant waited patiently.

Eventually, Elizabeth stopped at one section.

Her eyes narrowed slightly.

"This is interesting."

Adrian immediately became suspicious.

"What?"

She turned the booklet toward him.

---

RESIDENCE ADMINISTRATION

Class leaders may assign internal duties and create residence committees when necessary. However, leadership authority may not be used to compel students into personal service unrelated to Academy or residence responsibilities.

---

Adrian read it.

Then looked at Elizabeth.

"That’s oddly specific."

"Very."

A student nearby leaned over.

"Personal service?"

The assistant answered.

"Previous class leaders have occasionally misunderstood the extent of their authority."

Elizabeth looked toward him.

"Examples?"

The assistant hesitated.

"One student required classmates to carry his books between lessons."

Adrian snorted.

"That’s pathetic."

"Another assigned three students to prepare his meals."

Several people looked over.

"And one leader created the official position of ’Chair Bearer.’"

Silence.

Elizabeth slowly lowered the booklet.

Adrian stared.

"Chair Bearer?"

"The student followed him around with a chair."

Someone nearby burst out laughing.

Even Elizabeth’s lips twitched.

She looked back at the rule.

"Reasonable restriction."

Adrian leaned back.

"So you aren’t going to appoint servants?"

Elizabeth gave him a flat look.

"I already possess servants."

"Right."

A pause.

"Royal family."

"Exactly."

Adrian smiled.

She ignored him.

Still, the first half of the rule interested her considerably more.

Committees.

Internal duties.

Delegation.

Her eyes moved toward the common room.

Thirty-six classmates.

Different strengths.

Different personalities.

Different schedules.

She had spent the examination learning that organizing everything herself was not the same as using everyone effectively.

Perhaps the Academy had deliberately written some of these rules with that lesson in mind.

Probably not.

But useful nonetheless.

"I’ll establish only what becomes necessary," Elizabeth said.

Adrian blinked.

"Only?"

"Yes."

"No complete administrative structure tonight?"

"No."

He stared at her.

"Are you ill?"

Elizabeth’s eyes narrowed.

"Would you prefer one?"

"No."

"Then stop speaking."

The Academy assistant wisely moved to the next subject.

"There is also the matter of the residence name."

That drew more attention than the booklet had.

Several Class One students turned.

Elizabeth closed the regulations.

"The leader chooses?"

"The final decision belongs to the leader, though most consult their class."

Adrian smiled.

"Let’s see how democratic the princess feels today."

Elizabeth ignored him.

Suggestions immediately began.

"Royal Hall."

"No."

The answer came without hesitation.

"First Crown?"

"No."

"Golden Court?"

"No."

"Crownspire?"

Elizabeth’s expression became noticeably colder.

"No."

Adrian started laughing.

One student frowned.

"Why reject everything related to the royal family?"

Elizabeth looked around the room.

"Because this residence belongs to Class One."

Silence.

"Not House Aurelius."

That ended the royal suggestions.

More followed.

First Light.

Victory Hall.

Silver Keep.

Unity.

The last made Elizabeth pause.

Not because she liked the word itself.

Because she understood the intention behind it.

She thought back to the examination.

Blacksmiths.

Carpenters.

Drivers.

Students.

Children.

People she had initially separated by usefulness.

Then, at the Citadel, five classes had functioned together without anyone caring who had originally possessed which resource.

Different people.

Different purposes.

Still moving in the same direction.

"Concord," Elizabeth said.

The room quieted.

Adrian repeated it.

"Concord."

"Agreement without requiring sameness."

Elizabeth looked around the residence.

"Different people working toward a shared purpose."

Several students nodded.

Someone smiled.

"I like it."

"Same."

Adrian studied Elizabeth.

"That’s almost sentimental."

"It’s accurate."

"There she is."

Elizabeth ignored him.

The assistant touched the registration crystal.

---

CLASS ONE RESIDENCE

CONCORD

---

"Registered."

Elizabeth looked at the name for several seconds.

Then reopened the booklet.

Adrian groaned.

"We just finished."

"There are fourteen pages remaining."

"Of course there are."

---

( Class Two Residence )

James Vellaroux read regulations very differently.

He skimmed.

Fast.

Very fast.

Then stopped on one page.

Tristan Rhael watched from nearby.

"Did you actually read any of that?"

"Yes."

"You turned six pages in ten seconds."

"I read quickly."

"You ignored half of them."

"Half were obvious."

Tristan reached for the booklet.

James pulled it away.

"I haven’t finished."

"Then perhaps stop pretending you have."

James ignored him.

His eyes had stopped on a bold section.

---

INTERNAL COMBAT

Unsupervised duels, sparring matches, or combat challenges using mana are prohibited within residential common areas, corridors, bedrooms, and shared facilities.

Approved combat may only occur within designated training areas.

---

James nodded.

"Good rule."

Tristan stared.

"Of course that’s the one you stopped on."

James continued reading.

"Any damage caused by unauthorized combat is charged to the responsible students."

"Also reasonable."

"And repeated violations may temporarily restrict access to Academy training grounds."

James’s expression changed.

Tristan noticed immediately.

"Oh."

James looked up.

"Nobody fights inside the residence."

Several nearby Class Two students turned.

One frowned.

"What if it’s just sparring?"

"Training hall."

"Without spells?"

"Training hall."

"What if someone challenges me?"

"Training hall."

"What if..."

"Training hall."

The student stopped.

Tristan folded his arms.

"You sound extremely passionate about protecting the furniture."

"I am passionate about not losing access to the training grounds because someone is stupid."

"Ah."

That made more sense.

James closed the booklet.

"Simple."

The Academy assistant nodded.

"Then there’s only the residence name."

James answered immediately.

"Vanguard."

The assistant paused.

"Would you like to consider..."

"No."

Tristan slowly raised a hand.

James looked at him.

"What?"

"I feel the class deserves options."

James sighed.

"Fine."

Tristan smiled.

"Radiant Fortress."

"No."

"Blade Hall."

"No."

"James Vellaroux’s Glorious..."

"No."

Class Two began laughing.

Tristan continued.

"Spatial Palace."

"Absolutely not."

"Second Son Sanctuary?"

James stared at him.

Tristan lowered his hand.

"Vanguard is good."

James looked toward everyone else.

"Any serious objection?"

None came.

One student nodded.

"We were the front line almost the entire exam."

Another grinned.

"And next time we’re taking first."

James smiled.

"Exactly."

The crystal activated.

---

CLASS TWO RESIDENCE

VANGUARD

---

James nodded once.

Perfect.

Tristan looked toward him.

"You chose that in approximately two seconds."

"It didn’t require fifteen options."

Somewhere across Zenith, Sophie Trohan would have taken that statement personally.

---

( Class Three Residence )

Sophie Trohan had discovered a dangerous section of the leadership booklet.

Not dangerous because it created responsibility.

Dangerous because it encouraged opinions.

---

RESIDENCE ACTIVITIES

Each residence may organize social gatherings, study groups, recreational events, and internal celebrations. The class leader is responsible for approving activities that use shared residence funds or facilities.

---

Sophie stared at the rule.

Then slowly looked around the room.

This was going to become a problem.

A girl immediately raised her hand.

"Can we have monthly dinners?"

Another student spoke before Sophie answered.

"Game nights."

"Study nights."

"Those aren’t recreational."

"They can be."

"Training competitions!"

"Movie projections!"

"Seasonal parties!"

"Cooking nights!"

Sophie opened her mouth.

Closed it.

Another student continued.

"We should create an event committee."

"Two committees."

"Why two?"

"One academic, one social."

"Then we need a budget committee."

Sophie stared at the booklet.

The Academy assistant quietly took one step backward.

Within two minutes, Class Three had proposed:

three committees,

seven recurring events,

two competitive tournaments,

and something called "Emergency Dessert Night."

Sophie finally raised both hands.

"Stop."

The room quieted.

Mostly.

A student near the back raised one finger.

"Can Emergency Dessert Night stay?"

Sophie thought about it.

"...We’ll discuss it later."

A cheer went up.

She sighed.

This residence was going to become very loud.

The assistant cleared his throat.

"Before activities are planned, the residence also requires a name."

That was worse.

Suggestions started immediately.

"Froststorm!"

"Stormgarden!"

"Snowbell!"

"Lightning Lodge!"

Sophie blinked.

"Lightning Lodge?"

The girl who suggested it nodded proudly.

"It sounds friendly."

"It sounds like an inn," someone said.

"Inns can be friendly."

"Sunrise House!"

"Snowdrop!"

"Brightstar!"

"Frostflower!"

"Rainbow..."

"No," three people said simultaneously.

Sophie laughed.

Then more suggestions arrived.

Too many.

Again.

She found herself listening to each one.

Comparing reactions.

Trying to find something everyone liked.

Then she caught herself.

The Hermit’s words returned immediately.

Sometimes everyone will disagree and you will still need to choose.

Right.

Sophie exhaled.

"We’re stopping."

Several classmates blinked.

She looked around the room.

Class Three had been the information class during the examination.

Maps.

Scouting.

Routes.

But that wasn’t the part she remembered most.

She remembered the bridge.

People joking while repairing it.

The relief when they discovered Class Five had actually used it.

Her classmates arguing constantly and somehow still moving together.

The noise around her now.

Warm.

Messy.

Alive.

She smiled, green eyes bright with it.

"Brightvale."

The room went quiet.

One student repeated it.

"Brightvale?"

Sophie nodded.

"It’s cheerful."

Someone laughed.

"That’s your reasoning?"

"Partly."

She looked around.

"I don’t want our residence to sound like a fortress."

James would probably disagree.

"Or something named entirely after my Attributes."

Daphne would probably also disagree.

"I want somewhere people are happy to come back to."

That changed the mood slightly.

A girl smiled.

"Brightvale."

"I like it."

Another nodded.

"Me too."

The Lightning Lodge supporter sighed dramatically.

"My dream has died."

Sophie laughed.

"Your dream was terrible."

The room went silent.

Sophie blinked.

Then several students started laughing.

Her face reddened.

"I meant the name!"

"Too late!"

The assistant smiled as he activated the crystal.

---

CLASS THREE RESIDENCE

BRIGHTVALE

---

Sophie looked at it.

Brightvale.

Warm.

Simple.

Happy.

Good.

Then someone behind her raised a hand.

"So about Emergency Dessert Night..."

Sophie sighed.

But she was smiling.

"We’ll vote on that one."

Perhaps some decisions deserved opinions.

---

( Class Four Residence )

Daphne Spinster had discovered a rule she actually liked.

That concerned Nadia.

Daphne sat in one of the large chairs with the booklet open across her lap, red eyes fixed on one particular section.

---

RESIDENCE ACCESS

Students are responsible for all guests admitted under their authority.

Non-residents may not enter private floors without permission from a residence member, and class leaders may impose additional reasonable access restrictions when necessary for security or privacy.

---

Daphne read it again.

Nadia watched her.

"You look happy."

"I’m not."

"You look less unhappy."

"Different thing."

Lucan leaned over the back of a nearby sofa.

"What did you find?"

Daphne turned the booklet around.

Nadia read it.

Then immediately understood.

"Oh."

Daphne nodded.

"Useful."

Lucan frowned.

"You’re going to ban visitors, aren’t you?"

"No."

A pause.

"Probably."

Nadia laughed.

"You can’t ban everyone."

"It says I can impose reasonable restrictions."

"Reasonable."

Daphne looked toward her.

"Correct."

"You are not the person I trust to define that word."

Daphne ignored her.

A student nearby asked:

"What restrictions?"

Daphne thought briefly.

"No strangers on private floors."

Reasonable.

"No entering another student’s room without permission."

Also reasonable.

"No outside visitors after evening curfew."

Still reasonable.

Nadia raised an eyebrow.

"That’s it?"

"For now."

Nadia looked genuinely surprised.

Daphne noticed.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Say it."

"I expected a moat."

Lucan laughed.

Daphne looked toward the window.

"There isn’t enough space."

Nadia stopped laughing.

"That wasn’t permission to consider one."

The Academy assistant decided this was a good moment to intervene.

"Lady Spinster, your residence also requires an official name."

Daphne looked toward him.

"Greywall."

The assistant blinked.

Nadia blinked.

Lucan blinked.

Daphne frowned.

"What?"

"You already had one?"

"Yes."

"When did you decide?"

"While he was speaking."

Nadia stared.

"You put absolutely no emotional effort into this."

"Correct."

"Why Greywall?"

Daphne looked toward the stone walls surrounding the common room.

"They’re grey."

Silence.

Lucan covered his face.

Nadia stared at her.

"That’s your explanation?"

"There’s also a wall."

Lucan started laughing.

Daphne’s eyes narrowed.

"You asked."

Nadia shook her head.

"We need alternatives."

"No."

"Stonehaven."

"No."

"Crimson Keep."

"No."

"Gravestone."

Daphne slowly looked at her.

Nadia froze.

Then realized what she had said.

"Actually, no. Definitely not Gravestone."

Lucan was laughing harder now.

Daphne looked back toward the assistant.

"Greywall."

Nadia sighed.

"At least make it mean something."

Daphne became quiet.

That was unnecessary.

Names did not require meaning.

A building was a building.

Walls existed to separate what was inside from what was outside.

Simple.

Useful.

Reliable.

Her thoughts moved briefly toward the examination.

The temple.

The mana crystals.

The Citadel.

Class Four supporting the barrier network.

Nadia catching her when her legs nearly failed.

People behind walls.

People becoming walls.

She frowned slightly.

Then spoke.

"A wall doesn’t need to be impressive."

Nadia looked at her.

"It needs to hold."

The room became quieter.

Daphne immediately regretted saying more than necessary.

Lucan smiled.

"So there was meaning."

"No."

"There was definitely meaning."

"I described a wall."

Nadia’s smile widened.

"A very emotional wall."

Daphne stared at her.

"Greywall."

The assistant wisely registered it before the argument continued.

---

CLASS FOUR RESIDENCE

GREYWALL

---

Daphne looked satisfied.

Nadia looked at the glowing name.

Then toward Daphne.

"I like it."

"Good."

"Very symbolic."

"It’s grey."

"And protective."

"It’s a wall."

"And dependable."

"Nadia."

"And secretly caring..."

Gravity shifted.

Nadia immediately grabbed the sofa.

"Done."

Lucan laughed.

Daphne closed the booklet.

Greywall.

Simple.

Strong.

No unnecessary decoration.

Perfect.

---

By the end of the evening, all five residences had names.

At the northern side of the residential courtyard stood:

CONCORD

Order built through cooperation.

Across from it:

VANGUARD

A residence already discussing how to turn fifth place into first.

Along the eastern path:

BRIGHTVALE

Where Class Three had somehow begun planning three social events before unpacking all their luggage.

Near the western gardens:

GREYWALL

Where Nadia was already telling everyone that Daphne had named the building after "the walls around her heart."

Daphne was considering murder.

And at the far end:

SANCTUARY

Where the first-place class lived.

Its leader had suggested Pillow Palace first.

Then two equally terrible alternatives.

Before somehow stumbling into a respectable name.

Five residences.

Five very different identities.

And inside Sanctuary:

Alash Vortex was already asleep.

Completely unaware that the four people sharing his mysterious connection had spent their evening dealing with the exact same booklet.

Just not the same problems.

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