Chapter 38: Nemris

I smiled down at Nemris.

“So the real me already beat the imaginary version?”

Her cheeks were still flushed from everything that had happened, but the look in her eyes had changed.

Less shy.

More expectant.

I leaned closer.

“Then let’s make it a landslide victory.”

Nemris’s lips curved.

That tiny smile told me she understood exactly what I meant.

I took her hands and guided them toward my belt.

Her eyes followed the movement.

No hesitation.

She unfastened it herself.

Slowly at first.

Then with more confidence.

The belt loosened.

My remaining clothes followed.

Nemris pushed them down and out of the way, leaving me completely exposed in front of her.

She sat upright on the bed.

And stared.

Not accidentally.

Not with the quick embarrassed glance she had given me in the past.

She looked.

Properly.

Her golden eyes moved down my body and stayed there.

I watched her expression.

Interesting.

Surprise.

Curiosity.

Satisfaction.

Definitely satisfaction.

I raised an eyebrow.

“Enjoying the view?”

Nemris looked up at me.

“Yes.”

Straight answer.

No embarrassment.

Well, a little embarrassment.

Her face was still red.

But she had apparently decided that honesty was easier than pretending she wasn’t interested.

I respected that.

Her hand reached forward before I could say anything else.

She wrapped her fingers around me.

Warm.

Soft.

Careful.

The first movement was uncertain.

Nemris looked down at her hand.

Then at my face.

She moved again.

Slowly.

Watching.

Learning.

Of course.

The Lord Commander approached intimacy like battlefield analysis.

Observe target.

Test reaction.

Adjust strategy.

Achieve victory.

Her hand moved from the base upward.

Then back down.

A little more pressure.

Then less.

Her eyes never left my expression for long.

I breathed in sharply.

Nemris noticed immediately.

A faint smile appeared.

Oh.

She liked that.

She tried the same movement again.

I closed my eyes for half a second.

Her smile grew.

“You like that.”

“That sounded suspiciously pleased.”

“I’m learning.”

“Dangerous phrase.”

Nemris continued.

Her fingers were soft, but the movement was becoming increasingly deliberate.

Every time she found something that made my breathing change, she remembered it.

I gently gathered some of her golden hair in one hand.

Not pulling.

Just keeping it away from her face.

Nemris looked up at me.

Her eyes were bright with curiosity.

She seemed almost fascinated by the fact that she could make me react this way.

Then her gaze lowered again.

She leaned closer.

Stopped.

Looked at me.

“Can I?”

I knew what she meant.

Still, I wanted her to say it because watching Nemris fight her own embarrassment had become one of my favorite activities.

“You want to try?”

She nodded.

“Yes.”

Her voice softened.

“I want to.”

I smiled.

“Go ahead.”

Nemris leaned forward.

She started with a kiss.

Soft.

Almost experimental.

Then another.

Her lips lingered longer.

I let out a quiet breath.

That encouraged her.

Of course it did.

She opened her mouth and took me in cautiously.

Just a little at first.

Learning the shape.

The sensation.

The limits.

Her first attempt was awkward.

Very.

A little scrape made me tense.

Nemris immediately stopped.

Her eyes jumped toward me.

“Did I hurt you?”

“Tiny bit.”

Her expression changed to alarm.

“I’m sorry.”

I touched her cheek.

“You’re learning.”

She narrowed her eyes.

“I can do better.”

That sounded less like embarrassment and more like a personal challenge.

Poor woman.

She had no idea how predictable she was becoming.

Nemris tried again.

Slower.

More careful.

This time she adjusted immediately.

No discomfort.

Just warmth.

Her lips.

Her breath.

The soft movement of her mouth.

She learned frighteningly fast.

I tightened my hand gently in her hair.

“Look at me.”

Nemris raised her eyes.

And kept them there.

Oh.

That was unfair.

She continued while watching my face.

Golden eyes fixed on mine.

Her hand moved lower at the same time, maintaining a rhythm she had figured out entirely through observation.

My breathing became heavier.

Nemris’s eyes brightened.

Amusement.

Satisfaction.

Pride.

She liked knowing she could affect me.

Her free hand slid upward.

Across my stomach.

Over my abs.

Tracing them again because apparently she had developed a personal relationship with my abdominal muscles.

I laughed breathlessly.

“You really like touching those.”

Nemris paused just enough to answer.

“They are fascinating.”

Then she continued.

That woman.

I brushed my thumb along her cheek.

She looked beautiful.

Golden hair loose around her face.

Blue eyes focused upward.

Cheeks flushed.

Still learning.

Still shy somewhere beneath everything.

But clearly enjoying the discovery that she could pleasure me too.

Eventually, I stopped her.

Not because I wanted her to.

Because I wanted something else more.

Nemris looked confused when I guided her backward.

“What?”

“Come here.”

I pushed her gently onto the mattress.

She allowed herself to fall back.

The bed dipped beneath her.

I moved over her.

Nemris looked up at me, breathing faster already.

I kissed her.

Deep.

Her arms rose around my neck.

She returned it immediately.

No hesitation now.

Her tongue met mine with much more confidence than earlier.

Fast learner.

Very fast.

I positioned myself between her thighs.

Nemris understood.

Her body tensed.

Not fear.

Anticipation.

I moved close enough for her to feel exactly where I was.

Slowly.

Deliberately.

She gasped.

Her hands tightened behind my neck.

I stayed there for several seconds.

Letting her feel the difference.

Letting her understand what would happen next.

Then I looked into her eyes.

“This is going to hurt at first.”

Nemris swallowed.

Her expression remained steady.

“I can handle pain.”

“I know.”

“I’ve been stabbed.”

“Romantic comparison.”

She almost smiled.

Then her face became serious again.

“I don’t want you to be too careful.”

I raised an eyebrow.

Nemris’s blush deepened.

“I want my first time…”

She hesitated.

Then forced the words out.

“Hard.”

That caught me slightly off guard.

Not because of the preference.

Because of Nemris.

The woman who treated nearly every personal feeling like classified military information had just stated exactly what she wanted.

Then she went further.

“Fast.”

I stared.

Nemris immediately looked away.

I laughed softly.

“Well.”

Her eyes narrowed.

“Don’t tease me.”

“You definitely didn’t learn that preference from a history book.”

Her cheeks turned bright red.

Nemris grabbed my face.

Then kissed me.

Deeply.

Very effective method of ending arguments.

I kissed her back.

When we separated, I looked at her again.

“Still sure?”

“Yes.”

No hesitation.

“Say it.”

Nemris held my eyes.

“I want you.”

Good.

I positioned myself.

Gave her one last moment.

Nemris’s nails pressed lightly against my back.

Ready.

I pushed forward firmly.

One decisive motion.

Nemris gasped.

Her entire body tensed beneath me.

Her fingers dug into my back.

The sound she made was half pain, half surprise.

I stopped.

Not fully pulling away.

Just holding still.

Her breathing came fast against my neck.

I kissed her cheek.

“Nemris?”

She nodded quickly.

“I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

Her arms tightened around me.

She took several breaths.

The tension slowly faded from her thighs.

Her eyes opened again.

Still pained.

Still determined.

Then something else appeared.

Heat.

Curiosity.

She whispered, “You’re…”

I waited.

Nemris swallowed.

“Deep.”

I smiled.

Her eyes narrowed.

“Do not say anything stupid.”

“I was going to compliment your observation.”

“Liar.”

“Charming liar.”

She kissed me.

I laughed into it.

Then I whispered near her ear, “You’re warm.”

Nemris shivered.

Her nails dragged lightly over my back.

“Move.”

I paused.

She looked directly at me.

“Please.”

Then, with more certainty, “I want it hard.”

All right.

Princess had issued an order.

I began moving.

At first, controlled.

One strong rhythm.

Then another.

Nemris gasped each time.

Pain still crossed her expression.

But pleasure was already starting to mix with it.

Her body reacted despite the discomfort.

Hips shifting.

Breathing changing.

Hands gripping tighter.

I increased the pace.

Nemris’s mouth opened.

A moan escaped.

Louder than the ones before.

I straightened slightly, changing the angle as I moved.

Nemris’s large breasts bounced with every motion, soft movement against her chest drawing my eyes whether I intended it or not.

She noticed.

Of course she did.

“Looking?”

I smiled.

“Can you blame me?”

Nemris’s lips curved.

Then another strong movement wiped the smile away and replaced it with a moan.

I watched her.

Really watched her.

The Lord Commander was disappearing.

Not Nemris.

Never Nemris.

But the public version of her.

The controlled expression.

The stern mouth.

The calculating eyes.

Gone.

Her golden eyes were half closed.

Her face flushed.

Hair spread wildly across the pillow.

She was breathing without restraint.

Moaning without caring who might theoretically hear through several layers of royal stone.

Every strong movement made her body react.

Pleasure.

Pain.

More pleasure.

She seemed to enjoy the mixture.

Very much.

I moved harder.

Nemris clung to me.

“Yes.”

Her voice broke.

“Like that.”

I kept the rhythm.

Stronger.

Faster.

Her head fell back.

I kissed her throat.

She moaned directly beside my ear.

Then whispered, “Harder.”

I laughed breathlessly.

“Greedy.”

Nemris tightened her legs around me.

“I said harder.”

Bossy.

There she was.

I gave her what she wanted.

The bed began moving beneath us.

Soft impacts against the wall.

Sheets pulling loose.

Nemris’s breathing became ragged.

Her fingers dug into my shoulders.

Then she said something that sounded absolutely nothing like the refined princess from breakfast.

“Ruin me.”

I stopped laughing.

Oh.

That was new.

Nemris looked directly at me.

No shame now.

Only want.

“I want you to ruin me.”

I kissed her hard.

Then gave her exactly the intensity she had asked for.

Her moans grew louder.

Her body moved with mine.

Whatever pain had been there before had faded into the background.

Pleasure had taken over.

I could see it building.

The tension in her stomach.

The trembling in her thighs.

The way her breathing started catching between sounds.

Nemris was getting close.

I slowed just enough to watch her face.

Her eyes opened.

“Don’t stop.”

“I’m not.”

“Caled…”

Another wave hit her.

Her body tightened around me.

There it was.

I kept the same rhythm.

Nemris’s nails dragged down my back.

Her mouth opened.

Then pleasure broke over her.

Her entire body shivered.

Hard.

A cry escaped her.

Her back lifted from the mattress.

Her legs tightened.

Every muscle seemed to seize for one long second before trembling through the release.

I watched her face.

Beautiful.

Completely unguarded.

No sternness.

No authority.

No suspicion.

Just Nemris losing herself in something she had chosen.

Something she wanted.

Something only I got to see.

Eventually the intensity passed.

Her body softened.

I slowed.

Not stopping.

Just letting her breathe.

Nemris lay beneath me for several seconds.

Eyes closed.

Chest rising quickly.

Then she opened them.

And smiled.

Not sweetly.

Mischievously.

Rare.

Dangerously rare.

Before I could ask what that expression meant, she moved.

Fast.

Nemris pushed against my chest.

I let her roll us.

My back hit the mattress.

She climbed over me.

I stared upward.

“Well.”

Nemris straddled me.

Golden hair hanging loose around her face.

Breathing still heavy.

She looked extremely pleased with herself.

“Your turn to lie down.”

“Princess, this is a shocking abuse of authority.”

“I’m not wearing my insignia.”

“Excellent legal defense.”

Nemris ignored me.

Her hand reached down.

She guided me carefully.

Then positioned herself above me.

She looked nervous again.

Only for a moment.

Then she began lowering herself.

Slowly.

Very slowly.

Her face tightened.

Pain remained.

Of course.

She had only just had her first time.

But she kept going.

A quiet groan left her.

I reached for her hips.

“Easy.”

“I know.”

She continued until she settled fully against me.

Then stopped.

Her hands landed on my chest.

Nemris closed her eyes.

Breathing.

Adjusting.

Feeling.

When she finally opened them, pleasure was already returning.

She leaned down.

Her face hovered above mine.

Warm breath touched my lips.

“So…”

I smiled.

“You wanted to try.”

“I do.”

“Then try.”

Nemris kissed me once.

Then began moving.

Up.

Down.

Slowly.

Uncertain.

I placed both hands against her hips.

Guided her.

Not taking over.

Just teaching.

A little change in rhythm.

A slightly different motion.

Nemris moaned near my ear.

Her forehead dropped against mine.

“That feels…”

Another movement.

Her breath caught.

“Really good.”

I smiled.

“Told you.”

“You did not.”

“I implied.”

“That doesn’t count.”

She kissed my jaw.

Then moved again.

I loosened my hands.

Let her control more.

Nemris learned.

Quickly.

Always watching.

Always adjusting.

She looked at my face whenever she tried something different.

A small shift that made me tense?

She repeated it.

A movement that changed my breathing?

Stored permanently in the Nemris Military Archive of Making Caled Lose His Mind.

Her lips traveled across my chest.

A kiss.

Another.

Then my jaw.

The corner of my mouth.

She lingered there.

Teasing.

I raised an eyebrow.

“Learning cruelty?”

“Maybe.”

Then Nemris kissed me properly.

Deep.

Her tongue entered my mouth this time.

No guidance.

No hesitation.

She took the lead.

I let her.

Completely.

Her hips moved faster.

Her rhythm became more confident.

Her hands pressed against my chest.

Then slid upward.

One tangled into my hair.

She kissed me while moving with increasing urgency.

I could feel her body tightening again.

Nemris broke the kiss.

Her forehead rested against mine.

“I’m close again.”

Her voice trembled.

“So soon?”

“Your fault.”

“Everything is apparently my fault today.”

“Yes.”

Fair.

She moved faster.

Then her rhythm faltered.

Pleasure interfering with coordination.

I caught her hips again.

“Come here.”

Nemris looked at me.

“Together.”

Her eyes softened.

I shifted beneath her.

Took control of the rhythm.

The mattress began bouncing beneath us.

Nemris gasped.

Then moaned.

Loud.

I pulled her closer while driving the movement faster.

Her body followed.

Her hands landed on my shoulders.

Her nails dug in.

She was already losing control.

I could feel my own limit approaching too.

Nemris looked down at me.

Eyes unfocused.

Mouth slightly open.

Hair falling everywhere.

Absolutely nothing left of her careful public composure.

I loved it.

I moved harder.

Deeper.

Faster.

Nemris cried out.

Her entire body tightened.

I held her.

One more movement.

Another.

Then she shivered violently above me.

Her third climax hit.

Her mouth found mine immediately.

She kissed me hard.

Almost desperately.

I reached my limit at the same time.

I pulled her firmly against me.

Held her there.

The release came deep and forceful between us.

Nemris’s nails dug into my shoulders.

Her kiss became messy from the way both of us were breathing.

For several seconds, neither of us could do anything except hold on.

Then the tension slowly faded.

Nemris collapsed against my chest.

Her entire body relaxed over mine.

Warm.

Heavy.

Comfortable.

I wrapped one arm around her waist.

Our breathing gradually slowed.

The room had become quiet except for the soft sounds of both of us recovering.

I stroked her back.

Nemris remained on top of me.

Neither of us seemed interested in moving.

Eventually, I smiled.

“So.”

She made a tired sound against my chest.

“What?”

“Did that beat your secret fantasies?”

Nemris lifted her head.

Her face was exhausted.

Flushed.

Happy.

She looked at me for several seconds.

Then smiled.

“You surpassed all of them.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“All?”

“Yes.”

“That sounds like a challenge to your imagination.”

Nemris shook her head.

“I don’t think I’ll have a fantasy better than this anymore.”

I kissed her forehead.

“That is excellent feedback.”

“It’s true.”

“Good to hear.”

Nemris rested her cheek against my chest again.

For perhaps ten peaceful seconds, I thought she was done.

Then her hips shifted.

Small movement.

Intentional.

I looked down.

Nemris looked up.

A tiny mischievous smile returned.

I could feel her becoming aware that I had not softened much.

She moved again.

Testing.

Feeling.

Her breathing changed.

I laughed.

“You’re exhausted.”

“I know.”

“And?”

Nemris pushed herself slightly upright.

“I still want more.”

Of course she did.

I placed both hands against her waist.

“Then you’ll get more.”

That was how the rest of the night went.

Again.

Then again.

And eventually I stopped keeping track because counting felt like administrative work and I had already done enough diplomacy for one week.

Nemris discovered very quickly that she liked intensity.

Not vague intensity either.

She wanted things hard.

Fast.

Enough to leave her breathless.

Enough to shake the bed.

Enough that her careful voice disappeared and the words coming from her became direct requests instead of polite suggestions.

So I stopped treating her like something fragile.

Not careless.

Never careless.

I watched her.

Listened.

Adjusted whenever she needed.

But when Nemris asked for more, I gave her more.

And she loved it.

The stern Lord Commander who could stare down armies apparently had an entirely different private side hidden beneath all that discipline.

I had not expected it.

That made it better.

She knew exactly what she wanted once she discovered it.

More importantly, she was willing to say it.

No pretending.

No expecting me to guess.

If she wanted me harder, she said harder.

If she wanted me closer, she pulled me closer.

If she wanted another round, she asked.

Sometimes demanded.

The only embarrassment came afterward, when she realized what she had actually said.

Those moments were wonderful.

At one point, Nemris lay exhausted beside me, golden hair scattered over my arm, eyes barely open.

Her breathing had finally slowed.

I thought she had reached her limit.

Then she noticed my body responding again.

Her golden eyes drifted downward.

Back to my face.

I watched the conflict happen.

Exhaustion versus desire.

Desire won by military conquest.

Nemris pushed herself up.

“Again.”

I laughed.

“You can barely move.”

“I can move enough.”

“That is not medically reassuring.”

“Caled.”

I looked at her.

She looked completely serious.

“Again.”

So again.

By the time the night had stretched into its deepest hours, I had learned something important.

Nemris’s discipline did not disappear in bed.

It simply changed purpose.

She focused.

Learned.

Asked.

Experimented.

She watched what pleased me and remembered it.

She expected the same attention in return.

And beneath that stern, controlled exterior was a woman with desires far bolder than anyone who knew the Lord Commander would ever guess.

That might have been my favorite part.

Not the intensity.

Not the ruined dress.

Not even discovering exactly how loud Nemris could become when she stopped caring about dignity.

It was the trust.

This side of her did not belong to the kingdom.

Not the knights.

Not the council.

Not the royal family.

No one else knew the woman who blushed while asking for exactly what she wanted, then became fearless the moment she knew she was safe asking me.

A side of Nemris that I alone was lucky enough to see.