Chapter 172: Carry That Weight.

『"Guilt really feels heavy."』

[Time Until Apostle Deadline: 32:22:41]

Twelve hours had passed since the decision, and Ethan still wasn’t speaking to her.

This wasn’t the silent treatment, exactly.

He responded when directly addressed and participated in training exercises. But the warmth was gone, replaced by a professional distance that hurt worse than if he’d simply yelled at her.

Amara had tried to talk to him twice. Once in the hallway outside the training grounds, where he’d simply said "Not now" and kept walking.

Again in the R.C., where he’d met her eyes with an expression that made her chest ache before quietly excusing himself to his quarters.

She understood his anger. Really, she did. The decision to hide Raj’s bite went against every protocol and safety measure. It was reckless, stupid, and potentially catastrophic.

But it had also been the only choice that didn’t feel like a betrayal.

***

In the quiet monitoring room, Raj sat on the examination table with wires attached to his chest and arms. He swung his legs idly while Hiro stared at the monitor beside him.

"You know," Raj said, "if you keep staring at that thing, I don’t think it’ll suddenly develop a personality."

Hiro didn’t look away. "Other than a heart rate that’s a little slower than it should be, your vitals seem pretty stable."

Raj leaned back against the wall. "I’m okay, Hiro. Better than okay, even."

"I guess..." Hiro sighed.

The door to the monitoring room opened as Ethan stepped inside, and Raj and Hiro turned toward him.

"Hey," Raj said.

"Hey," Ethan replied.

Hiro glanced between them for a few seconds before asking, "So, what’s the deal with you and Amara?"

Ethan raised an eyebrow. "There’s no deal."

Raj’s shoulders slumped. "I’m sorry about you guys," he said. "It’s all my fault."

Ethan sighed. "Yeah, you messed up," he said. "But it’s not about you. Amara made her choice."

Raj’s expression fell. "I never liked it when you two fought. And now? It sucks even more."

"Seriously, get over yourself, dude," Hiro said.

Ethan raised an eyebrow at him, and Hiro shrugged. "I voted too." He stood from his chair. "Besides, I seem to recall someone who lied to us for two years."

Ethan stared at him. "That’s different."

"Is it, though?"

Ethan grunted. "Hmmm."

Raj looked between them for a moment before pushing himself off the examination table. "I can’t take this anymore."

Both of them looked at him.

"I’m coming clean to the Director," Raj said. "It’s not worth this." He was about to take a step toward the door when his device buzzed.

A moment later, Ethan’s and Hiro’s devices buzzed as well. The three of them looked down at their screens.

ALL AVAILABLE PERSONNEL TO BRIEFING ROOM 3. IMMEDIATE. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

They exchanged glances. Then Ethan sighed and looked at Raj. "Let’s put a pin on that."

***

Amara sat in the cafeteria at an ungodly hour because sleep had become impossible.

In the quiet, she questioned whether loyalty and stupidity were actually different things or merely the same impulse viewed from different angles.

"You look like shit," Sophia observed, dropping into the seat across from her with a tray loaded with lasagna.

Amara stared at the tray.

Where the hell had Sophia found lasagna at this hour?

Amara pushed the thought aside. "Thanks, Garfield," she replied. "You really know how to make a girl feel special."

"I’m serious." Sophia stabbed her fork into the lasagna. "Hiro’s been glued to Raj, by the way. So you really should get some shut-eye."

"You’re being dramatic. It’s only been twelve hours," Amara said. "And does it really matter?"

"It matters when you’re making decisions that affect all of us." Sophia took a deep breath. "Look, I voted to tell Meredith because I’m worried about what happens if Raj transforms."

Amara looked at her, sensing a "but" coming.

"But you made the call, and I’m going to support it." Sophia took another bite. "We all are, even Ethan eventually. But you need to take care of yourself too."

Amara stared down at the untouched cup in front of her. "...On a scale of one to ten, how mad do you think he is with me?"

Sophia didn’t answer immediately. She twirled her fork between her fingers instead. "I think he’s scared."

Amara looked up, and Sophia shrugged.

"Ethan follows rules because they keep people alive. To him, every protocol exists because somebody ignored it once and people died."

She took another bite of lasagna. "Then the girl he..." She stopped herself, cleared her throat, and tried again. "...the person he trusts most goes ahead and ignores one."

Amara lowered her eyes. "I honestly wasn’t trying to undermine him."

"I know, I know."

"I just..." Amara rubbed her forehead. "Raj looked so damn scared."

"He did look scared."

"And if we’d reported him..."

Sophia leaned back. "He would’ve been benched indefinitely."

"...Yeah."

Silence settled between them for a moment. Then Sophia sighed. "For what it’s worth..." she said. "I still think you made the wrong call."

Amara gave a tired laugh. "Thanks."

"But," Sophia continued, "I also understand why you made it."

Amara gave her a tired smile next.

"Sometimes there isn’t a right decision." Sophia pushed her empty tray aside. "Sometimes you just pick the option you think you’ll regret the least."

"...You think Ethan will forgive me?" Amara asked.

Sophia snorted. "Now who’s being dramatic?"

Amara frowned.

"Relax." Sophia grinned. "He’s just waiting for you to realize why he’s upset." Her smile faded. "But if shit does hit the fan..." She met Amara’s eyes. "I’ve got your back."

Sophia’s words lingered in the air longer than either of them expected.

Eventually Amara broke the silence. "...How’s Raj doing?"

"That’s the weird part." Sophia straightened on her chair. "He’s fine. Better than fine, actually. His vitals are stable. If I didn’t know about the bite, I wouldn’t suspect anything was wrong."

"So maybe we made the right call," Amara said, wanting desperately to believe it.

"Or maybe the curse is just biding its time." Sophia reached for her temple. "I keep trying to look ahead. See how this plays out."

"And?" Amara asked.

Sophia sighed. "Jack shit."

"That’s comforting."

Sophia grabbed the fork on the tray and licked it. "Yeah, well, comfort isn’t really my specialty."

Before Amara could respond, her device buzzed with an incoming message. She checked it, expecting another training schedule update or logistics briefing.

Instead, she found a message from Director Hale:

ALL AVAILABLE PERSONNEL TO BRIEFING ROOM 3. IMMEDIATE. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

Sophia’s device buzzed simultaneously, and across the cafeteria, Amara could see other Awakeners checking their devices with expressions that ranged from confusion to concern.

"So much for getting that shut-eye," Sophia said, already standing up.