Chapter 20: Cowards And Cowardice.

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"Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once." — William Shakespeare.

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Her voice was serious as she said, "You get to decide if this struggle is good for you. So if you say it is good for you, it will be good for you."

"It is good for me," he struggled to say.

It was difficult to speak because he was starting to lose control of his tongue.

"It will be good for me," he said forcefully.

"That’s the spirit. Half of the battle is a struggle of morale. Fight to win and give it your all. That way you will have no regrets when you lose," she said in encouragement.

’I’m not sure I won’t have regrets if I lose, but I’m going to count on you as the expert,’ he thought to himself.

Then he thought of something, which made him say, "Can I ask a question?"

"Well, is it related to the restraint training?" she asked while gently nudging the baton on the table.

The baton was clean now. It had no blood stains from yesterday’s intensive activities. In fact, it looked new, but Tessa seemed eager to change that.

Seeing this, the wayward tongue in his mouth tucked itself back into his mouth and hid away like a child who had something wrong.

Even Alex hurriedly shook his head and said, "Never mind."

He wanted to ask about how to get the support of a Tyrant to control his gluttony worm or how to become a Tyrant. But since Tessa wasn’t in the mood to answer questions, he decided to hold off.

In response, Tessa chuckled and said, "If you survive this week of training, I’ll answer a question of yours."

Alex perked up at the sound of that. He said with confidence, "I’m sure I can survive one week. I can even survive one month of this."

His words made Tessa chuckle as she said, "Don’t worry. This training won’t last a month. You either pass the training or I kill you."

"Oh!" Alex exclaimed as understanding dawned on him.

He wanted to say, "The training is too difficult. Can you give us more time? What’s the rush anyway?"

But he knew that nothing he could say would change her mind. So he didn’t bother wasting his time going down that route.

Instead, he clenched his fist and thought, ’I can only do my best.’

He had his head down as he encouraged himself. But his gaze fell on what was on the table. The sight of flesh ignited the hunger lurking within. Even his tongue came out to try and get closer to the meat.

’Get back in there,’ he thought as he wrestled for control of his tongue.

He fought the gluttony worm mentally for control. When that was too slow, he grabbed his tongue and pushed it back into his mouth. Then he clamped his Jaws shut while the worm protested in his mind.

In a bid to look at anything other than the table of meat, his eyes wandered the room, examining everything and everyone around him. He saw many Apostles in the room, and more were coming at random intervals.

The Apostles were eating, but what they were eating wasn’t normal. They were eating pieces of metal that looked too much like the coins they used as currency.

As he examined them, they examined him too. They also seemed to be talking about him. He could hear them saying something about flesh eaters and how disgusting they were.

What they were saying piqued his interest and successfully distracted him from the urge to lunge and tear into the bag of meat in front of him.

Just then, the green Big Boss and the red Big Boss entered. The green one said to Tessa, "I have bad news."

"What is it now?" Tessa said, frowning on her usually smooth ebony face.

The red Big Boss was the one who replied, saying, "News reached the Squires that they would be using the gluttony worms of flesh titans to become Apostles."

"They were dissatisfied. Now, some of them are quitting."

Tessa snorted in response. "Let them leave."

Her voice was full of disdain as she said, "I’m sure that there are many people desperate for power around here. I can go to any mine and get replacements in less than an hour."

"That’s good," the green Big Boss said, sighing in relief. "I thought this would be a bigger issue."

"It is a big issue," Tessa admitted. "Miners aren’t Squires after all. So there will be some waste in resources during the conversion, and the survival rate would be poor."

"Be that as it may, the unwillingness of a few people to embrace difficulty for power won’t put a stop to the Will of Lord Bane. In fact, they are saving us a lot of effort."

"The fact that their will is so weak means that they won’t go far even if they became metal titans. We don’t need such weak-willed people in our order."

The red Big Boss nodded and said, "It is mainly the gentries that are quitting. They are the pampered shits who grew up rich. Some of them even got in through donations. So maybe it is a good thing that they are leaving."

While they talked, Alex kept his head bowed. But the green Big Boss noticed him.

She smiled at him and said, "Isn’t this yesterday’s winner? How are you feeling today, champ?"

"I’m good, Boss," he said quickly.

She nodded in satisfaction and said, "In that case, I’ll pick you today. I’ll bet on you, so perform well."

Then she waved her large hammer fist in his face as she said, "If you lose, I’ll beat you up."

Her brother, the red Big Boss, rolled his eyes at her antics while Tessa said, "Don’t pressure my trainees."

"Oh, come on. I’m only encouraging him to work harder. That’s good for him," she said, unrepentant.