Chapter 90: He is not your medicine

On the fourth day after receiving Lathel’s message, Catrina appeared once again outside the Church’s southern gate.

For the previous three days, she had arrived early in the morning, stood outside until nightfall, then returned to her estate. Catrina did not bring troops to force her way inside, nor did she use her status as a Duchess to demand that the Church open its gates. But no matter how many times Rhea refused her, she still appeared again the next day.

At first, Catrina only sent letters.

Later, she brought books, clothes, and personal belongings Lathel had left behind at the estate. However, everything had to be inspected by Rhea before being delivered inside.

Today, Catrina brought nothing.

She simply stood outside the gate, her face beneath the mask so pale that the two Black Rose knights accompanying her kept glancing over.

Her black dress covered most of her body, but bandages were still visible beneath her sleeves. Every time Catrina shifted her posture, her right leg stiffened slightly because the wound on her thigh had not yet healed.

A female Judicator entered Rhea’s office and reported the situation.

After listening, Rhea only asked:

"She wants to see Lathel again?"

"Yes."

The female Judicator placed a sheet of paper on the desk.

"The Duchess said she won’t leave today unless she gets to see him."

Rhea looked at the paper and asked coldly:

"Who is she threatening?"

"The Duchess said it wasn’t a threat."

"But she still intends to use standing outside the gate to pressure us into giving in."

The female Judicator did not know how to answer, so she simply remained silent and waited for orders.

Lathel, who was sitting at the table near the window, had heard the entire conversation.

He looked outside.

The southern gate could not be seen from here, but he still slowly opened his notebook.

[What condition is she in?]

Rhea read it and looked at him.

"She won’t die."

Lathel continued writing:

[She’s injured?]

"That’s something she did to herself."

The pen in Lathel’s hand stopped.

Rhea noticed the change in his expression, and her gaze immediately became colder.

"You’re starting to feel responsible again?"

Lathel shook his head.

But after several seconds, he still wrote:

[I only want to know whether she needs treatment.]

"The Black Rose brought a Healer with them. Catrina refuses to let them examine her."

Lathel stared at the words in his notebook for a long time.

Eventually, he wrote another line.

[I want to see her once.]

Rhea fell silent.

Lathel immediately added:

[Here. With you and the other Judicators present.]

He remembered clearly what Rhea had told him.

If he did not yet trust Catrina not to hurt him, then he should not meet her somewhere no one could protect him.

Rhea looked at the two lines before asking:

"Are you sure this is what you want, and not because you saw her injuries?"

Lathel hesitated slightly.

In the end, he still nodded.

"All right."

Rhea turned toward her subordinate.

"Bring Catrina to the guest courtyard. Black Rose stays outside the gate."

The female Judicator immediately bowed.

"Yes."

...

Catrina was led into a small courtyard between two Church buildings.

There were not many people passing through the area, but four Judicators were already standing in different positions, ensuring that if Catrina made any dangerous move, they could intervene immediately.

Rhea stood beside Lathel.

The moment Catrina stepped through the corridor, her gaze immediately locked onto him.

She did not look at the surrounding Judicators.

Nor did she care about Rhea’s hand resting on the hilt of her greatsword.

At that moment, Lathel was the only thing that existed in her eyes.

Catrina quickened her steps.

Rhea immediately moved half a step forward, but Lathel raised a hand to stop her.

That small movement alone made Catrina stop in front of him.

She wanted to come closer, but remembered the promise she had written in the letter, so she forced herself to keep more than an arm’s length between them.

However, Lathel quickly noticed that her body was trembling.

Not from the cold.

Catrina was trying to control herself.

Lathel opened his notebook and wrote:

[You received my message.]

"I did."

[I said I needed time.]

"I know."

[Then why do you still come every day?]

Catrina looked at the sentence before slowly tightening her hands.

"Because I’m afraid."

Lathel silently waited for her to continue.

"I’m afraid that if I stay out of your sight for too long, by the time I come back, you won’t need me anymore."

Catrina tried to smile, but her voice had already become hoarse.

"I know you said you need time, but I don’t know how long I’m supposed to wait."

Rhea asked coldly:

"So you intend to stand outside the gate until he softens?"

Catrina immediately turned toward her.

"This has nothing to do with you."

"You’re standing in my territory, clinging to someone under my protection, and using the injuries on your body to make him worry. Of course it has something to do with me."

"I’m not using my injuries to pressure him."

"Then why let Lathel see them?"

Catrina unconsciously pulled her sleeve lower.

The movement only exposed more of the bandages beneath it.

Part of the fabric had already been stained red, showing that the wound had not fully closed.

Lathel immediately frowned.

He reached out, intending to inspect it.

But the moment Catrina saw his hand moving toward her, her eyes changed.

The restraint she had maintained since entering the courtyard nearly collapsed instantly.

She rushed forward and tightly embraced Lathel.

His body stiffened.

Catrina’s arms wrapped around his back, but she did not squeeze as hard as before.

She clearly still remembered what she had done.

So even though her entire body was trembling, she forced herself to keep her grip weak enough not to hurt him.

"Lathel..."

She buried her face against his shoulder.

"Just for a little while."

Rhea partially drew her greatsword from its sheath.

"Let him go."

Catrina did not react.

"I’ll let go."

Her voice became choked.

"Just let me stay like this for a little while."

"I didn’t ask how long you needed."

Rhea continued drawing the sword.

But Lathel had already reached out and caught her wrist.

He shook his head, then looked down at Catrina.

From this distance, he could smell medicine and the faint scent of blood on her body.

Catrina had clearly tried to cover it with perfume, but she could not hide it completely.

Lathel gently placed one hand on her shoulder and pushed her away.

At first, Catrina still did not want to release him.

But when she realized that he was actively asking for distance, her fingers slowly loosened.

She stepped back the moment Lathel asked her to.

Only then did Rhea push the greatsword back into its sheath, though her gaze remained cold.

Lathel lowered his head and wrote:

[Where did those injuries come from?]

Catrina remained silent.

[Did someone attack you?]

She shook her head.

Lathel looked at the bandages around her wrist, then at her unnatural stance.

A possibility immediately entered his mind, making the pen in his hand pause.

Catrina noticed.

This time, she stopped hiding it.

Whenever the curse activates, I need another source of pain to keep myself conscious."

Lathel’s expression immediately changed.

Rhea stepped forward and directly pulled up Catrina’s sleeve.

The hastily wrapped bandages underneath were immediately exposed.

Some wounds were old.

Others had clearly been redressed only recently.

Catrina immediately yanked her arm back.

"Don’t touch me."

Rhea wiped her hand with a cloth and replied coldly:

"I don’t want to either."

Catrina: "..."

Rhea tossed the used cloth to a subordinate, then asked:

"What do you think hurting yourself makes Lathel feel?"

"I never intended for him to see."

"But he still saw."

Rhea pointed toward Lathel’s hand, which was gripping the pen tightly.

"He worries when he knows you’re in pain. If he knows you’re hurting yourself, he’ll be even less able to ignore it. You stopped chaining his leg, but now you’re replacing the chain with guilt."

Catrina immediately argued:

"I don’t want to force him."

"I believe you don’t want to."

Rhea looked directly into her eyes.

"But you’re still doing it."

That sentence made Catrina fall silent.

Rhea did not continue criticizing her.

Instead, she lowered her voice.

"You cling to him because every time you make contact, the curse weakens. You hurt yourself because you need pain to stay conscious when he isn’t there. If this continues, Lathel will become the only thing capable of controlling your condition."

Catrina tightened her hand slightly.

"He can help me."

"Lathel is not your medicine."

"I don’t see him as medicine."

"Then stop using him like medicine."

Catrina wanted to argue.

But when she saw Lathel’s expression, the words became trapped in her throat.

He was worried.

But beneath that worry, there was still a trace of tension he could not hide.

The moment Catrina had rushed forward and hugged him, his body had stiffened instinctively.

He was still afraid of her.

When Catrina realized that, her eyes slowly turned red.

"I’ve tried."

She looked down at her own hands, her voice hoarse.

"I tried not to approach him, but every day that passes, the curse gets worse. The voices in my head keep telling me to bring him back, chain him again, then hide him somewhere no one can ever find him."

Lathel frowned slightly.

"I don’t want to listen to them."

Catrina wrapped one arm around the other.

"So pain is the only thing I can use to stay conscious."

Rhea asked:

"How long do you plan to continue like this?"

"Until I can control the curse."

"How?"

Catrina could not answer.

She had invited countless Herbalists, curse mages, and Healers, but no one had been able to identify exactly what was attached to her soul.

Most methods only reduced the pain temporarily.

None could remove the root of it.

Rhea looked at her for a while before finally saying:

"Elaria returned to the Church this morning."

Catrina immediately looked up.

"The Elf Elaria?"

"Yes."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"She brought a Sacred Tree Sprout and a portion of the Spring of Life."

Rhea explained calmly:

"Among everyone currently in the Holy City, Elaria is the only one capable of using Life Purification to separate a curse from both the bloodline and the soul."

Catrina stood completely still.

Even Lathel turned toward Rhea.

She had never mentioned this before.

Catrina stepped forward and asked urgently:

"She can really cure my curse?"

"She can."

"You’re certain?"

"If Elaria can’t do it, then no one currently in the Holy City can."

Catrina stared at Rhea, as though trying to determine whether she was simply lying to separate her from Lathel.

Rhea recognized the suspicion and added:

"I want you to stay away from him, but I don’t need to use a lie that would be this easy to expose. Elaria is at the Hall of Life in the western district. You can go verify it yourself."

"Then why are you telling me?"

"Because Lathel wants you to live."