Chapter 87: Don’t use suffering to force him

The rain had begun before dawn, and even after daybreak, there was no sign of it stopping.

A female Judge entered Rhea’s office. Only after closing the door did she lower her head and report, "My Lady, Duchess Catrina Veyr is standing outside the southern gate."

Rhea, who had been reviewing documents, stopped her pen.

"When did she arrive?"

"Nearly an hour ago."

"Did she say what she wanted?"

"She wants to see Lord Lathel, but she did not ask us to notify him immediately." The Judge hesitated briefly before continuing. "The people from Black Rose brought her an umbrella, but the Duchess refused to use it. She is still standing in the rain."

Rhea looked toward the window. Rain continuously struck the glass, leaving the scene outside a blurred gray.

"Does Lathel know?"

"No."

"Don’t tell him."

The Judge immediately bowed her head.

"Yes."

She had just turned around when a faint sound came from behind her. Rhea immediately looked over and saw Lathel standing in the doorway of the adjoining rest room.

He still wore the robe prepared by the Church. His hair was slightly disheveled from just waking up. A small notebook rested in his hands, and his eyes were fixed directly on the Judge who had just reported.

He had clearly heard everything.

Rhea set down her pen.

"Come here."

Lathel slowly walked toward the window. From this position, he could not clearly see the southern gate because another building blocked the view, but he could still see just how heavily it was raining.

He opened his notebook and wrote:

[Is Catrina really outside?]

"Yes."

[Why won’t she come in?]

"I didn’t allow it."

Lathel immediately looked up.

Rhea calmly looked back at him, with no intention of hiding her decision. Lathel lowered his gaze and wrote another line.

[I want to see her.]

"No."

The pen in his hand stopped.

After several seconds, another line appeared.

[This is my decision.]

"Are you sure?"

Lathel was about to nod, but Rhea’s gaze had fallen to his neck. The bruises there had faded considerably after being treated with medicine, but they had not disappeared completely.

"Do you want to see her because you have forgiven her, or because you know she is standing in the rain and feel guilty?"

Lathel fell silent.

Rhea stepped closer. Her ungloved hand held the notebook before he could write another answer.

"Look at me."

Lathel raised his head.

"If Catrina merely stands outside, you can continue being angry with her. But when she stands in the rain, injures herself, and waits in suffering, you begin to think you should go down and see her."

Rhea pointed at his neck.

"She squeezed this until you lost consciousness."

Then her finger lowered.

"She even chained you up because she was afraid you would leave. Those things do not disappear simply because she is standing beneath the rain now."

Lathel tightened his grip around the pen and wrote:

[She is being tormented by the curse.]

"I know."

[She might not be able to endure it.]

"I have stationed healers nearby. If her condition becomes dangerous, my people will intervene immediately."

Lathel paused.

Rhea had prepared everything before he even had a chance to ask.

He looked at the rain outside before continuing to write.

[You don’t like her.]

"That’s right."

[But you still sent healers to help her?]

Rhea frowned slightly, as though she did not understand what was surprising about the question.

"I don’t want her to die in front of you and turn into another wound you have to carry."

Lathel looked at what he had just written, then looked at the woman before him. Only after a long while did he lower his pen.

Rhea continued, "If you truly want to see Catrina after thinking things through, I will not lock you up. The door is still there. There are no chains holding you back."

She stepped aside, fully revealing the way out of the room.

"But before you go, write that you believe she will not hurt you again."

Lathel looked at the blank page.

He could not write it.

Catrina had once cared for him gently, given him his first bouquet of flowers, and stayed beside him when he was most afraid. He knew she did not want to kill him. He also knew the curse had magnified the negative emotions in her heart.

Yet Lathel still clearly remembered the hand tightening around his throat.

He remembered even more clearly waking up and seeing the chain around his ankle.

Rhea waited for a long time. When the pen did not move, she reached out and closed his notebook.

"You don’t trust her yet."

Lathel lowered his eyes.

"Then don’t see her today."

He immediately looked up, his expression clearly showing that he did not entirely agree.

Rhea looked directly at him and said, "You can be angry with me for this decision. I do not need you to thank me, nor do I need you to understand right away."

Her ungloved hand rested on Lathel’s shoulder. The motion was very gentle, yet utterly firm.

"Even if you hate me for stopping you, I will still protect you."

Lathel stood silently.

Rhea did not say that she was doing this in exchange for his feelings. Nor did she ask him to stay beside her to repay her. She was even willing to let him be angry, so long as he did not put himself in danger again because his heart had softened.

After a while, Lathel slowly sat down in a chair.

Rhea turned to the female Judge who was still waiting near the door.

"Prepare a cloak."

The other woman was slightly surprised.

"My Lady, are you going outside?"

"I’m going to speak with Catrina."

...

Outside the southern gate, Catrina still stood in the same place.

Her black dress was completely soaked, clinging heavily to her body. Rainwater ran down her silver mask and dripped from her chin, while the bandages beneath her dress had begun to ache from the cold seeping into the wound on her thigh.

Two Black Rose female knights stood several steps away from her. One held an umbrella, while the other carried a thick cloak. But neither dared step closer after being refused again and again.

When Rhea appeared behind the gate, Catrina immediately raised her head.

Her gaze swept behind Rhea.

Lathel was not there.

The disappointment showed clearly in her eyes, but Catrina did not make another demand. She only asked hoarsely, "He doesn’t want to see me?"

"I didn’t allow him to come down."

Catrina’s hand immediately tightened.

"If he wants to—"

"He wanted to come down because he was afraid something would happen to you," Rhea cut in. "Not because he is ready to see you."

Catrina fell silent.

Rhea stepped out from beneath the shelter. Rain immediately fell onto her white cloak, and mud splashed onto the soles of her shoes, but she did not even glance down.

"What are you doing?"

"Waiting for him."

"Using this to atone?"

Catrina looked at her, her voice hoarser from the cold. "I don’t know what else I can do."

"So you stand here, let Lathel see you tormenting yourself, and make him feel responsible for coming out?"

"That isn’t what I intended."

"But it is still the result."

The answer made Catrina go still.

Rhea looked at her without the slightest pity.

"You once said you did not want to hurt him, yet you still strangled him. You said you wanted to give him the right to choose, then chained him to the bed. Now you continue saying you do not want to force him, yet you stand in the rain until he cannot ignore you."

Each sentence struck directly at what Catrina did not want to admit.

She lowered her gaze to her hands. The image of Lathel trying to pull away the fingers tightening around his throat surfaced in her mind, followed by the fear in his eyes when she approached the bed.

"I only want to apologize to him in person."

"Then wait until he wants to hear it."

"I’m afraid that if I leave, he will think I gave up again."

Rhea asked coldly, "Do you want to make things right, or do you want him to forgive you?"

Catrina immediately raised her head.

The two women looked at each other through the curtain of rain.

Only after a long while did Catrina’s hands slowly loosen.

"I want to make things right."

For the first time, her voice no longer carried stubbornness.

"Even if he does not forgive me, I still have to make things right."

Rhea did not answer immediately.

Catrina turned toward the female knight behind her and raised her hand. The knight immediately stepped forward and placed a wooden box in her hands.

Catrina opened it.

Inside was the silver chain that had once bound Lathel. It had been cut into several pieces, and the magical lock had been completely destroyed. Beside it lay an order bearing the seal of Duke Veyr.

"I have revoked every order to monitor Lathel. From today on, Black Rose is forbidden from blocking his path, forcibly taking him away, or reporting his whereabouts to me without his consent."

Catrina placed a hand on the document.

"The person who unlocked his chain will not be punished. I have also ordered that if the curse makes me lose control again while Lathel is nearby, Black Rose must protect him first, even if they have to raise their swords against me."

Rhea looked at the broken pieces of chain inside the box.

"You think this is enough?"

"No."

Catrina answered without the slightest hesitation.

"These things only prove that I have begun to change. They will not make the wounds on his neck disappear, nor will they erase the fear I left behind."

Rainwater ran across her chin, but her voice grew calmer.

"I no longer have the right to ask him to trust me simply because of a few orders."

She took a letter protected by a thin layer of magical film from the box and held it out to Rhea.

"Please give this to him."