Chapter 78: Two Years Of Seasoning

Old women are great and all, in fact very great.

Minerva was a charming piece of spicy candy that always added the excitement in his life he loved, and Mother Euphemia was beautiful in ways nobody else could match.

But that was a matter of race more than anything.

Minerva was in her forties and still looked tempting enough to make a man in many ways at night. After all, Minerva was a blood witch, and aside from the fact that they’re incredibly lustful and barely ever aged, it’s a miracle. Euphemia was half-elf, blessed with so much youth she had enough to go around.

Human women were a different ballgame.

Time was not kind to them. It’s not as if Adonis held any prejudice against old human women, but Lady Gertrude was already in her hundreds and he was sure that pink place between her legs was covered in cobwebs. Her daughter was old enough to marry, and so was her grandson.

So when a bare, wrinkled leg slid over his legs under the table, he had no idea how to act.

’Don’t move. Don’t scream. Don’t even look down.’

He shivered in disgust, and the leg squeezed him tighter.

"Oh, my sweet boy~"

Gertrude sighed as her toothless smile stretched wide.

"I’ve been missing you for such a long time. And I know you’ve been missing me too, so don’t be shy. Grandma will give you the sweetest loving you’ve ever had, okay?"

"...Okay."

"I saw you fight at the Knights of the Seven Realms, you know. If I wasn’t in love with you before, I just wanted to share a bed with you. I’m certainly in love with you now."

She leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

Adonis cringed all the way down to his toes.

Her lips were covered in crash and as a desert, but whenever she licked them, they came out covered in an unbearable amount of saliva.

He lowered his head, interlocked his fingers, and said a quiet prayer for himself.

Then he looked at the old bag of bones and smiled.

"Lady Gertrude. I’d just like to know who’s in charge of the [Seasonings] sector. It’s important."

Her face hardened.

"No."

Adonis froze.

He didn’t know the old woman who adored him so desperately looked like that. But then again, a lot of mature women like that, Minerva was deeply infatuated with him, and she still got strict when it mattered.

He tried again, widening his majestic blue eyes and tilting his head.

Gertrude shook hers.

"As much as I love you, dear, I can’t release information about the economic sectors. It’s sensitive. But if you have any other sweet requests, I’ll grant them. Young women are nice, but I can make you experience pleasure in ways no one else ever will."

She caressed his thighs with a seductive smile.

"...I’ll pass."

Adonis stood up, bowed, and walked to the door.

Then an important info from the novel crossed his mind, and he stopped dead.

’Wait. Gertrude is weak to massages.’

The author had said it at an anime-con when a random fan asked a silly question about her. Adonis hadn’t thought much of it back then, but to think a worthless piece of information like that with no relevance to the place was about to save him.

’Thank goodness I never missed a single con.’

He turned around and hurried back.

Gertrude was still smiling at him and rubbing his thighs.

"Oh, you came back! Good boy."

Adonis coughed painfully and stepped behind her chair.

He placed both hands on her bony shoulders and pressed.

"Ohhh..."

Her whole body melted into the cushion.

He worked down to her waist, and the moans began. She said a lot of sweet things to say, none of which he listened to. Every few seconds she grabbed his hand and squeezed, and his stomach churned with nausea each time.

"Ahhh, ohhnnnn... oh, oh, yessss~ ??"

A few minutes passed and Gertrude has melted like a block of butter being heated, she even pressed her wrinkly thighs and there’s time when her bony hands reach for his handsome face but Adonis threw his head back.

He cleared his throat, whispering by her ear.

"Lady Gertrude, who’s in charge of the Seasoning sector? I promise I won’t tell~"

"I... I can’t..."

Her lips trembled.

She’s fighting it with everything she had, and Adonis didn’t stop caressing her shoulders.

"...It’s..."

A devilish grin crept onto his face, perfect.

"It’s Count Vesta!"

Adonis nodded with a smile and vanished. He left so fast that Gertrude, drooling and moaning in her armchair, still thought he was massaging her shoulders.

Outside, Adonis rubbed his chin.

’Anyone but Vesta would’ve been nice.’

The old bastard was dangerous. He kept several mercenary companies on his payroll, and he already held a grudge.

But the more Adonis thought about it, the more sense it made, seeing as House Vesta had controlled half of the kingdom’s trade routes for generations. Of course they’d hold the seasonings.

’So it was a fifty-fifty chance anyway.’

He felt horrible and just put himself through all of that for no damn reason.

He shook his head and left the Halcyon Group behind, next he shined up his best Baron Thale act and went straight to the Royal Estate, where nobles came and went all day.

The security was tight, but Baron Korvan Thale’s reputation had exploded after his huge donation to the Halcyon Auction House, and his [Silver Tongue] skill took care of the rest.

An hour later, Adonis walked out with two years of seasonings for the Rensfell orphanage.

At the very high price of 200 gold coins.

He paid a transport agency to deliver the goods safely to the children, shook the manager’s hand, and headed back to the Melcian Convent.

He opened the door, and a furious Prussia and Alpis were already standing sternly in front of him, pouting adorably, with their arms folded tightly.

Adonis tilted his head.

"What’s wrong?"

"What’s wrong?! You’ve been acting strange lately, and now you come back this late! I was about to go to the capital city and check for myself!"

The incredibly angry and worrisome voice belonged to Prussia who sounded like she’d hit him.

Alpis didn’t waste a second to forget everything, when she got the sweet aroma emanating from his small sack.

"Who cares! As long as Master is back! Did you bring treats?!"

Adonis smiled and fished his favorite tender meat skewers out of his [Item Box].

Alpis snatched them at instant speed.

Prussia took hers reluctantly.

"Hmph, what a cheap strategy. I don’t even like meat skewers but for your sake, I’ll take it."

Alpis was already devouring hers, while Prussia took a small bite and gasped, her eyes watering.

"It’s s-, spicy...!"

Adonis edged closer.

"How does it taste?"

"I’ll never like these things! No matter how much you force me!"

Her face softened, and she looked away.

"...But thank you. Nevertheless."

Afterwards, they washed up. Well, mostly Adonis and Alpis.

Prussia was still against sharing a wooden tub with him, so she’d take her bath in the morning while Alpis and her master was asleep. Adonis and an an excited Alpis sat in the warm water, grinning perversely at each other.

Adonis patted the surface of the water.

"Ohh, Prussiaaaaaa~ Are you sure you don’t want to join us? I promise I’ll keep my hands well-behaved."

Prussia looked away from the door, her face burning.

’Why is he like this so suddenly...?’

Soon it was morning.

Alpis and Prussia had their arms and supple thighs wrapped around Adonis in the night. And the three of them were tangled up in an oddly erotic way, other times a sleepy Adonis’s hand was on Prussia’s big, soft chess and his other hand tightly squeezed Alpis majestic butt.

Then the door exploded open. A group of soldiers burst into the room with swords and spears in their hands and devilish grins on their faces.

Adonis sat upright.

"What is going on?!"

The crowd of soldiers parted, and Count Vesta calmly stepped through with his hands behind his back and his swollen tummy jerking out enough to lead the way.

The rotund man has a vicious look on his face.

"I warned you about doing anything stupid, Fifth Prince. After what you go through today, you’ll never be able to breathe properly again."

...Hm? Adonis tilted his head mildly.

"And what crime did I commit now?"

"This isn’t a matter of ’again’ or whatever nonsense like that, you’re in much more trouble than you’ve ever been, so I’ll make it easier for you. Adonis Kallias Falsbane. You’ve been summoned to the royal court for financial and identity fraud."

The count turned to his soldiers with a wicked grin.

"Cuff the boy. Now!"

...Eh? Adonis was completely at a loss for words.