Chapter 4: No Time For Mobs

The early morning sun peeked through the high, arched windows of the Fourth Queen’s private quarters.

Queen Minerva sat at the edge of her bed with her back held impeccably straight, keeping her poise so her exceptionally large breasts wouldn’t smother the young man below her. Resting peacefully on her bare, porcelain thighs was Adonis.

Her face was cold and indifferent, but her ruby eyes lingered on his features. His medium golden hair was spread wildly across her pale thighs, and his pink lips were slightly parted.

’So, he looks elegant even when he sleeps. He certainly didn’t inherit that from His Majesty.’

Then, she noticed his faint breathing.

’He looks parched... yes, quite parched. Perhaps he needs a bit of my vital energy to recover.’

Her slender fingers reached up to the collar of her dark purple robes, slowly loosening the fabric. But just as she was about to pull it open, Adonis stirred.

Her hands jerked back into place instantly, adjusting her robe with lightning speed.

"Morning."

Minerva greeted calmly.

Adonis blinked his tired blue eyes with blurry vision as he tried to wake up. All he could see was two massive melons hanging right over his face, with Minerva’s beautiful, stony expression sitting somewhere between them.

He let out a low groan. "Huh...?"

Minerva looked down at him flatly.

"I see you enjoyed your sleep. It must be a nightmare having to sleep in the servants’ quarters now that you’re a nobody."

Adonis ignored her blunt insult as he gently rubbed the sleep from his puffy eyes.

"Why am I sleeping on your thighs?"

Minerva held her buxom chest out proudly, tilting her chin up.

"Oh, please. You don’t need to try to be a gentleman and sleep on the cold floor next time. It is perfectly normal for a stepmother and her son to share a bed. You were not breathing well on the floor, so I lifted you onto my thighs. It seems you found them to be a suitable pillow."

She spoke with an utmost, unshakeable deadpan, acting as if it were the most natural thing in the world. But if anyone looked closely enough, they could see a faint trace of pride written all over her face.

Adonis looked down at himself and realized he wasn’t wearing his top. His half-lidded eyes flattened.

"You took off my shirt, too?"

Minerva cleared her throat softly, looking off to the side.

"Aristocratic attire isn’t ideal to sleep in, is it now? Besides... now that you are no longer a prince, coming by proper clothes will be much harder for you, won’t it?"

"...Thanks for reminding me..."

Adonis didn’t argue.

He sat up, swung his legs off the bed, and grabbed his blue hussar-styled jacket from the nearby chair.

After putting it on, he turned to take his leave, but Minerva spoke up sharply.

"Wait."

Adonis stopped in his tracks and looked back at her.

"You will come see me again today."

"Sure."

The heavy wooden doors shut behind Adonis as he leaned his back against the corridor wall and sighed.

’Whew. Handled. Now, let’s see what my status looks like—’

Before he could pull up his status, aggressive footsteps boomed from the far end of the hallway.

A long-haired young man clad in a black hussar-styled jacket and white trousers was marching toward him, a furious scowl boiling scarily across his face.

Fourth Prince Bradley, Minerva’s biological son and a guy who had hated Adonis since the day he was born.

"Adonis, you animal! What the hell were you doing coming out of my mother’s chambers?!"

"Uhm..."

Adonis quietly activated his skill.

[Eye of the Critic]

A transparent profile popped up before Adonis’s vision.

[Name: Bradley Falsbane]

[Age: 19]

[Rank: Fourth Prince]

[Class: Beast Tamer]

[Narrative Role: Supporting Character]

[Relationship to Host: Extreme Jealousy]

[Reason: Host’s birth usurped Bradley’s position as the most beautiful prince. Bradley hasn’t forgiven him after 17 years. He’s been waiting for the Class Awakening so he can challenge you to a duel and prove he’s superior.]

Adonis shook his head inwardly at the ridiculous info panel.

Bradley hissed as he drew a silver dagger from his waist and pointed it straight at Adonis.

"I asked you a question, trash! What were you doing in my mother’s room?! If you think you can disrespect her just because you’ve lost your standing—"

Before he could finish his aggressive rant, Adonis stepped forward, placed a gentle, comforting hand on Bradley’s shoulder, and looked him dead in the eye with the most serious face he could muster.

"Bradley... your mother is a very, very erotic woman."

Bradley froze. The color drained from his face before turning into a explosive red. He trembled violently, his teeth grinding together so hard they threatened to snap.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

Rather than giving the raging prince a chance to attack, Adonis tucked his hands behind his back and casually strolled past him with a proud, contented smile.

"Be a good boy and don’t ruin her mood."

Adonis called out over his shoulder.

By the time Bradley recovered from the sheer shock of those scarring, irritating words, Adonis was already at the end of the long hallway, waving a lazy hand without even turning back.

Bradley felt but disgust and frustration.

"He called Mother... very erotic..."

Visualizing what Adonis and his mother could have possibly done behind those locked doors, Bradley smashed his fist into the stone wall with all his might.

"CURSE YOU, ADONIS!"

...

Later that morning.

Adonis stepped out of the palace gates incognito.

He wore a plain linen cloak over his clothes to blend in, but even with the hood up, women on the street were still constantly turning their heads, craning their necks just to sneak a peak at his heavenly looks.

He walked through the crowded, noisy streets of Falsbane’s capital city—Gilishon.

He stroked his chin thoughtfully as he navigated the crowd.

’Alright, system. Let’s see if this Losing Heroine radar works on commoners. Maybe I can find a hidden gem down here. Minerva is beautiful and all, but I’m not experienced enough to charm a stern, demanding woman like her without having some practice first, right?’

Right on cue, a loud commotion erupted near a local potion shop just a few meters away.

"How could you do this to me, Thomas?!"

A young woman wailed loudly.

"You heartless bastard! We’ve been together for three years! Just because you became a Gold-class Squire, you’re leaving me for a merchant’s daughter?!"

The moderately pretty girl had generic brown hair and was sobbing uncontrollably.

A smug-looking young man in cheap iron armor sneered down at her, crossing his arms.

"Hmph! A Squire needs a woman of status, Cecelia! You’re just a common herbalist. Get lost!"

Adonis stood off to the side, sipping a small wooden cup of tea he had just bought for two copper pieces.

’Ah, a textbook cliché drama.’

Suddenly, the crying girl stumbled backward in distress and fell right into Adonis’s chest.

Adonis casually tossed his wooden cup aside and caught her gently by the shoulders to steady her.

"Ah, I’m so sorry—" Cecelia looked up to apologize.

The words hooked in her throat.

Adonis let his linen hood slip back just enough to reveal his divine, jaw-dropping looks. Cecelia’s face turned a bright red in a split second. All of a sudden, her heartbreak went numb.

Adonis immediately pulled up her data.

[Eye of the Critic:Target Scanned]

[Name: Cecelia Kolberg]

[Narrative Role: Losing Love Interest / Local Townsperson C]

[Investment Multiplier: 0.05x]

[Status: Volatile, capable of causing narrative damage with repeated encounters.]

[System Warning: Gifting items to this target yields historically low rewards. Do not waste inventory space on filler characters.]

Meanwhile, the arrogant Squire turned around and caught sight of Adonis touching his ex-girlfriend.

He grew instantly jealous.

"Hey! Who the hell are you?!"

Thomas barked, stepping forward.

"Get your hands off my—"

Adonis didn’t even let him finish speaking. He ignored the Squire, looking down at Cecelia with a soft, comforting smile that made her soul temporarily leave her body.

"A beautiful flower like you shouldn’t waste its fragrance on a patch of weeds."

"O-, Oh my..."

Cecelia let out a tiny squeak as her heart pounded against her ribs like a bass drum.

The humiliated Squire gasped with a face turned dark purple from embarrassment. Grabbing his new merchant girlfriend by the arm, he scurried away into the crowd as fast as his legs could carry him.

Cecelia immediately reached out, desperately trying to cling to Adonis’s sleeve with wide, pleading eyes.

"Milord! Please, tell me your name! I... I can cook! I can brew potions for you! I can—"

Adonis smoothly pulled his sleeve out of her grasp with the sweetest, most angelic smile in the world.

"Nah, I’m not interested."

Cecelia blinked. "Huh?"

"Have a nice life, Cecelia."

As he walked away, Adonis squeezed his face bitterly and looked down at his empty hands.

’Yep, efficiency is key. A 0.05x return? What a joke. If I gave her a copper coin, the system would probably return a piece of lint. I run a high-risk, high-reward enterprise. It’s harsh to say, but mobs need not apply.’

He shook his head disappointedly.