The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Chapter 75: The Surface

Laince Fort, or Laince Stronghold, is the city nearest to the underground tunnel’s exit. It is also the city which we chose to reside in.

The Laince Stronghold lies on the Kier Highlands. Located on the lands of the Ming United Kingdom, it is one of the sturdiest Forts in the entire country.

Designed by master architects, the thick brick walls are both elegant and strong. Spanning ten meters tall and three meters thick, the enemy they had in mind when designing it was the Giant Tribe. Man-eating fish can be found filling the moat.

The reason? They have one good neighbor. The entrance of the Underground World is always open. Anyone can enter, anyone can exit.

The seasonal plundering of the Underground Beastman, the traditional training of the Dark Elves to assault the Surface Elves deep in the night, the departure of Red Dragons and Black Dragons through the underground tunnels to look for new flavors, the Liches and Necromancers who sneak out in search of experimental materials, the Demons who look for tributes, the worshippers of Malevolent Gods… Alright, even I find it reasonable for the citizens of the Underground World to be exiled and viewed with hostility.

At least, just counting those in the underground tunnel, we have met three Dark Elf assault parties and two Beastman scouting teams. The latter, after seeing Casio, bows and leaves, whereas the former, upon catching sight of the Gray Elves, are stunned for a moment and without any hesitation whatsoever, change their training targets and pounce towards us.

Alright, just after forming our band, I was already planning to conduct a little bit of training so as to grind our teamwork together, as well as to see the fighting abilities of the newcomers. However, it was when Casio raised his bone bow to point the golden arrow in the bowstring towards one Elf after another, as though choosing between targets. Someone shouted the ‘Golden Bow’, upon which all of the Dark Elves immediately retreated.

Of course, that valiant look of Casio pulling the bowstring to shoot is visually amazing, totally different from that foolish Anya. However, after noticing a certain Beast Tamer’s eyes turn green and salivate at the sight of Casio, I start to worry for this Centaur hero once again.

“Gold-rank primary stage? If he hasn’t reached 30 years of age yet, which means that he has barely reached adulthood among the Centaurs, it would be quite an incredible feat. However, he is still slightly lacking compared to the Dracon Beast Tamer who is at the Gold-rank pinnacle, especially given the fellow’s unscrupulous means to achieve his goals. The more outstanding you perform, the more danger you are in, you know.”

I was of the mind to warn the Centaur, but along the way, Beifeng was chatting happily with him, which put me at a loss on how I should approach them.

Beifeng, just looking at his outer appearance, is tall and burly with a quaint face, giving quite a favorable impression. His deep and steady voice is always so slow and gentle. The words that he speaks are interesting and knowledgeable, giving a philosophical feeling through his speech, as though spoken by a matured, wise elder.

Alright, it is precisely because he has a decent appearance with a glib tongue, that’s why there are so many victims, which makes him a big threat to society.

His image as an honest older brother, the appropriate and implicitly kind intent, as well as his honest and sincere laughter complements Casio’s disposition, who seems cold but actually worries for his future. More importantly, Beifeng went along with the flow of the young Centaur and very quickly, after doing an initial probe under Beifeng’s hard work, laughter was added into their conversation.

Diana found it hard to watch on and kindly walked forward to warn him. However, being bad with her words, before she could even slip in a sentence, she was instead sent off stomping back, aggravated by Beifeng.

“Intelligent lifeforms are forever so short-sighted, they are used to judging life by their race and outer appearance. Yes, I am a Dracon with the bloodline of the Black Dragon flowing within my veins. But, those who are acquainted with me know that I am someone who passionately loves life and little animals. Yes, I might be ugly, but those who are familiar with me understand that I am gentle too.”

Alright, his hurt expression seems as though he has just been put through a great grievance, as though Diana is the bad person racially discriminating against him. In the end, under Casio’s annoyed and angry gaze, the good-hearted Diana is unable to speak of his disgusting past actions and could only walk away, shaking her head.

“Big Sister, you are being too nosey! Won’t the Centaur kid understand it in two days or so?”

“But by then, it will already be too late!”

“Puu!” As expected, those who are purer tend to have a wilder imagination. Hearing the words ‘too late’, the other people immediately break out in laughter and stare teasingly at the famous Golden Bow, especially at the horse armor on his lower body.

“The little brat knows not of the harm of Beifeng, the next day he will sing of the chrysanthemum.”

TL: Chrysanthemum… There is a phrase in Chinese called ‘exploding the chrysanthemum’ that means screwing a man’s ass.

Alright, I have no idea who made that twisted poem, but the comical pronunciation and lyrics make everyone laugh even harder. Un, facing Diana’s ‘how can you be like this’ questioning stare, at least I won’t admit that it is my own sudden inspiration.

The rather proud Casio ignores everyone else after joining the band, even pretending not to hear Krose’s polite greeting. On the journey, he even called out to other people by just their race, like ‘Hey, that Gnome over there’, ‘Hey, that fat human’ and very quickly ended up offending quite a lot of people.

Thus, seeing that Beifeng has set his sights on him, the rest of the band, other than the kind Diana, have no intentions to expose Beifeng’s intentions and choose to happily watch him make a fool of himself.

Back to the main topic, other than the joint attack by the Dark Elves near the exit, the journey was still quite smooth.

But then, when we walked onto the Surface World, bathed in the familiar yet unfamiliar warmth of sunlight, gazing at the boundless blue sky and the vast endless earth, even I felt agitated.

The Roland Sacred Sword on my waist slightly resonates in tune with my feelings, as though describing its impatience to head somewhere. The direction it hopes to proceed towards, naturally, is the north of the continent.

“East Mist Communal Country, huh? The descendants of the Mist? I do want to test his capabilities. If he is unable to meet with my expectations and insult this glorious title…”

Shaking my head, I throw all excessive thoughts to one side. Looking behind me, I realize that my party companions aren’t doing very well all of a sudden.

The previously high-spirited Momo sits weakly on the floor with her eyes shut, while the pale-faced Diana half-kneels on the floor with her body lowered, muttering words that seem like a prayer from her lips.

“I won’t fall upwards, I won’t fall upwards.”

Walking up to her, I realize that she is actually talking to herself. In that instant, I can’t suppress my laughter.

This isn’t any rare ailment. Even on the surface, after staying too long in the mines, when one stares at the vast, endless sky from that narrow entrance, there would be a feeling as though one will be taken away by the sky, an illusion of falling towards the heavens.

This is an instinctive misperception of living beings. Those experienced miners would feel better after a while, but for the Dark Elves who have stayed in the Underground World for their entire lives, it isn’t that easy to deal with.

They were born in the Underground World, they are already used to seeing the dark solid rock walls on top of the clouds and even more used to the first light of dawn being brought by the luminescent algae.

When the rock walls which felt right to them have suddenly disappeared, it is just like if the Surface humans’ sunlight and blue sky were to be suddenly taken away from them. Even if they rationally know that they would be fine, but the discomfort they physically feel still cannot be avoided.

Based on what I know, this is known as a ‘phobia of vast open spaces’ and it is a reflex action. It will take at least a couple of months to overcome it, with quite a few who fail to overcome it their entire lives.

The Gray Elves, who from the start aren’t comfortable with light, are in the worst shape of all. They are sent straight to the carriage so that they can rest. As for Casio, even though his four hooves are slightly trembling, he still puts on a calm front and tries his best to stand up straight.

Yingou, Hoyle and the other veterans have been to the Surface World innumerable times already. Same goes for the few fellows possessing Law jobs; they are already happily doing what they should be doing.

As for Clint, it should be his first time on the Surface as well. His expression cannot be seen under the thick armor and that bird-head helmet. However, looking at how he keeps trying to feel for the grenades on his waist to seek a sense of safety from his explosives, he doesn’t seem to be in good condition.

What, we are still lacking a person? Alright, I’ll admit that I intentionally left him out, yet you all still want to talk about him. That’s suicidal.

“Are you still okay? Why don’t you rest in the carriage for a bit?”

“No, it’s okay. I’m fine.”

Looking at how the others are fine, even when his Big Brother Beifeng sincerely asks for his condition out of concern, how could the stubborn Centaur admit defeat in front of everyone else.

“My brother, let me lean on you a bit, I am feeling a little giddy.”

The black Dracon suddenly sits on the floor and rests on Casio’s abdomen. Casio is stunned for a moment before realization strikes him. A smile appears on his cold and proud face.

“Alright, since that’s the case, then I will let you lean on me for a bit.”

Thus, the proud Centaur Prince lowers all four of his legs and sits down just like a war horse, allowing Beifeng to lean on one side of his abdomen.

Gradually, sitting on the floor with someone to lean on, he feels the warmth of his companions and the solid ground. The young Centaur Prince’s wildly beating heart slows down as his ‘phobia of vast open spaces’ improves.

The ice mountain of the cold-faced, but warm-hearted Centaur Prince finally melts as he smiles gratefully.

“Thank you, Big Brother Beifeng.”

“Why are you thanking me, I should be the one thanking you.”

“Hehe, Big Brother, you sure are a good person.”

“You haven’t seen the best side of me yet, but there will be more opportunities in the future.”

Leaning on each other, the Dracon and Centaur start chatting. Their hands even ‘accidentally’ make contact before being pulled back hastily. The sight of their love is hard to look at properly.

Looking at the fearsome sight unfolding in front of me, I rub my temple and secretly make up my mind to quickly find a secluded corner to bury Beifeng alive, so as to prevent him from further corrupting my eyes.

Also, looking at how the others are grinding their teeth or feeling nauseated, the majority of the group are definitely having the same thoughts. If it weren’t for the fact that the young ace Archer wasn’t weak, we might have already taken action.

Laince Fort isn’t that far away from the exit. We manage to reach our destination before sunset. However, just as we approach the city gates, we meet with new trouble.

“That guy over there, remove your helmet for inspection. Also, whose Dracon slave is that? Will he bite? Has he been immunized?”

At that instant, hearing that his Big Brother is treated like an animal, the reckless Casio reaches for his bow, intending to shoot the guards in his usual fashion. I rush to his side to stop him. I don’t want to be a fugitive immediately after reaching the Surface.

Actually, what the guard had said also makes sense. After seeing the Dracon, if it weren’t for the presence of Holy Knights in our band, he probably would have long called for people to surround us and put us down.

The Dracons, being an artificial creation, are unique. They are different from the Dragon Descendants who have mixed blood.

Although they have their own tribe and culture, they are indeed an unnatural creation. During the chaotic ancient times, the 7-colored Evil Dragon Goddess Tiamat and an evil Necromancer created them to serve the Evil (sided towards Chaos) Color Dragons (Red Dragon, Black Dragon, Blue Dragons etc), and Beifeng himself is a Dracon possessing the bloodline of Black Dragons.

On the other hand, the comparatively kinder Metal Dragons (The Gold Dragon and Silver Dragon who are sided towards Order) don’t have the slightest goodwill towards these Dracons. Due to the natural restraints of their bloodline, a large portion of Dracons still act as the servants of the evil giant Dragons, such as the new Dragon Empress. There are countless Dracon servants in the Dragon City which Xiao Hong is currently building.

This is also why Beifeng could use those words to gain Casio’s recognition earlier on. That is because in a lot of places, even if they are blessed with talent and are strong individually, due to them being cursed to live the life of servants, Dracons are being discriminated against.

Of course, in the chaotic Underground World, even Black Dragons and Red Dragons die easily from battle, thus it is easy for their servants and their following descendants to achieve freedom. The Underground World is probably the place where most of the free Dracons are.

Due to this, in the eyes of Humans, the black-skinned Dracons are equal to the fangs and claws of the evil giant Dragons. However, there is a Holy Knight in the band, which leads them to deduce that this Dracon is the slave of a certain Mage or a spoil of war.

“I am the slave of this Lord Centaur.”

“Thanks, Little Brother. It’s fine, I have seen a lot of worldly people like him, don’t stoop down to his level.”

Beifeng pulls the rash Casio and whispers in his ear. Also, in order not to put the other party in an awkward situation, Beifeng even took the initiative to claim that he is Casio’s slave. At that moment, Casio somehow felt touched.

When the eyes of the two men meet, electricity shoots in all directions. All of their emotions are conveyed through the exchange of gazes, there is no need for excessive words. In the eyes of the onlooker, the scene becomes one that cannot be looked at again.

“UEHH! Momo wants to puke, Momo is really puking!”

At this moment, I am very seriously considering whether it is plausible for me to dump the two, leave them to survive on their own and find another archer for our band.

Alright, when the problem on that side is finally settled, another problem occurs on the other side. Clint insists on not taking off his helmet. Of course, the guards are unwilling to give passage to us if it’s like that. Their conflict attracts the presence of even more guards. When these guards look at us with wary eyes and the cannons on the city wall slowly move towards us, I knew that this cannot carry on.

“Detect Evil!”

Upon using this 1-circle Divine Art, after the Holy Light has descended, all evil-doers, or should I say those possessing the Power of Chaos, will be dyed a shade of red.

Immediately, the black-skinned Dracon shines bright red while the others give out a dim white light.

“This mighty soldier here, look at the light shrouding his body. He is also a kind Order citizen, it’s just that my brother was scarred by high temperatures and looks awful beneath the armor. He has been afraid of scaring others, that’s why he doesn’t dare to reveal himself.”

On the surface, I was grabbing onto the hand of the sentry, explaining to him. However, with a shake of my wrist, a small coin pouch slides into the sleeves of the other party.

“Help us? On Beyana’s (Goddess of Wealth) account.”

It isn’t the first time this young sentry with a pockmarked face was bribed. Looking left and right, after confirming that no one was paying attention, he shakes his sleeves and the sound of jingling metal could he heard within. Furthermore, the pouch wasn’t light as well. Thus, he nods his head in satisfaction.

“Go in. Don’t stir up trouble.”

After our carriages enter the city, Harloys’s voice sounds by my ear.

“That pouch didn’t seem light, how much did you spend? This isn’t how you do things.”

“Guess.”

“I guess that it is full of bronze coins. Or at most, thirty bronze coins. But to the guard, it probably isn’t a small sum.”

“Five gold coins.”

“How is that possible! A stingy fellow like you would actually be willing to make a loss!!”

“Hehe, I earned quite a bit from this expedition, so what does that little money count?”

“No, this isn’t a problem of money. It is about that your personality which causes you to definitely never make a loss! Five gold coins? Are they gold coins made from Flower Elves that will disappear after a night?”

“That toy is a hundred times more valuable than normal gold coins. In order not to allow the other party win, wouldn’t I be making a huge loss instead?”

“No, based on my understanding of you, as long as you’re happy, in order to bring unhappiness to others, you are willing to pay as much as it is required. Hey, stop keeping me in suspense, your teacher, me, is quite curious.”

“Then continue being curious.”

While being surprised by how deeply this stupid cat understands me, I do not intend to reveal the answer to this riddle.

Based on my understanding of her, the one known as The Omniscient One, this Magic Cat’s pursuit of knowledge is boundless. The moment curiosity starts to strike her, she would definitely pursue the case all the way to the end. Otherwise, she would be unable to sleep at night. If so, I could make use of this opportunity to fulfill my goals.

“Hey hey, don’t be like this, otherwise I will spend the whole night thinking about it. How about I promise to teach you Ice Magic, an Ice Magic that even a magic idiot like you can use. You should be able to say it now, right.”

Un, as expected. She immediately gives in. My goal has been fulfilled.

Right now, I am still too weak. It is good even if I grow stronger just by a bit. Personally, I am a Master Necromancer, and in my current state, I can use Necromancy and Ice Magic. However, if I were to be labeled a Necromancer and be reduced to a fugitive, then my identity would have to be abandoned.

Thus, although it belongs to the Chaos Faction, the Elemental Magic that Human Mages would train in became the only option.

My knowledge of Ice Magic is still stuck at the stage of gathering my magic power and blasting it. With a Master Mage adept in all categories by my side, naturally, I would consult her.

“Ptui, you want me to teach you, an unfilial disciple, to be killed once again? Dream on!”

Alright, if I were to use the Pet Contract to force her, she would definitely teach me. However, if she were to purposely leave out a part, that would be more than sufficient for me to get destroyed during crucial periods.

However, I am not impatient at all. She might understand me, but I also understand her. Actually, as long as you choose the correct means, this Queen of Banshees is actually quite easy to deal with. I only have to patiently wait for an opportunity to hook the curious heart of the other party.

As expected, even before a week has passed after her arrogant words, she was hooked.

Looking at the little cat who scratches my neck with all of her strength but was unable to even break the defense of Titan Body, I laughed.

“Alright, I will unveil the riddle. It is indeed five gold coins. Previously, wasn’t the two iron longswords worth ten gold coins, broken during my duel with Momo? Thus, I placed the broken fragments in the bag. I guess that is an effective use of useless objects. However, it was indeed worth five gold coins and now, it is still worth five gold coins.

The workmanship of the longsword is inferior, so the crafting fee can be neglected altogether. The price of the material and the cost of the sword is equal, however, I am not so bored as to reforge another iron sword.

“Impossible, when did you prepare it!”

“I have long prepared it while on the road. No matter how many years it has been, as long as my performance is up to standard, this trick has really never failed before.”

Yes, I have long known that problems will occur during our entry into the city. That bag of broken shards was long prepared while I was still on the road. Even the lines used for the bribery and the action of handing over the money was rehearsed.

“You bastard! You actually dare to trick me! Lad, just you wait.”

A sudden yell that echoes from the back makes me shake my head.

“Sigh, even this line has yet to change. You really lack creativity.”

“Aren’t you afraid of him bringing his friends to stir trouble against you?”

“It is bad enough that a footman like him tries to eat a bribe, it would be really bizarre if he can get his colleagues to settle his private grudge.”

“If he slanders you by saying that you are a spy, wouldn’t he be able to get helpers? That’s what those Knight Novels often write, it is a classical development.”

I looked sympathetically at Harloys. Those conventional Knight Novel indeed will damage one’s brain after reading too much of it. With her intelligence, she still calls herself The Omniscient One.

“Then, he would have to explain why he let the spies into the city. Besides, if it is proven that we aren’t spies after an examination, then it would mean that he is reporting false military intelligence to settle his private grudges. If so, that footman would lose his head.”

“As expected of my disciple, indeed a sly old fox.”

“Thanks for your praise, but please call it experience.”

The teacher and apprentice look at each other, feeling a sense of connection with one another. Behind, Momo who was looking at this sight suddenly pulls Diana’s sleeves.

“You look at that Rolande, the way he looks at that cat is really weird. It is really as though he treats it like a human. Could it be that he is a brethren of Beifeng, that’s why he didn’t touch Big Sister the other night?”

Ever since Diana showed that she is still a virgin due to Momo annoying her, Momo has been making malicious inferences about Roland.

“Shut up! Don’t talk about that night!” After remembering the bizarre gazes that everyone looked at her with after that day, Diana sighs helplessly.

“Recently, my luck seems to be quite poor, it is as though I have offended a God of Misfortune.”

Not long after, her complaints reached my ear. Instantly, I grinned happily.

“You didn’t offend the God of Misfortune. The one you offended is the Aura of Plague. Haha, looks like I found another one with even lower Luck than me. Nice to meet you, Lightning Rod Number 3, let’s get along well.”