Chapter 142: A lot has changed. Not The Same Anymore.

"I honestly can’t tell you how I feel right now, Eli,"

Dave began, his voice rough.

"The truth is, a lot has changed, and I know that might make this your worst nightmare come true. After you disappeared, just like I told you, it took me a long time before I could even get out of bed. I missed an entire semester of school because I spent most of it lying there, unable to do anything. Eventually, I realized that staying in bed wasn’t going to change what had happened. There was no way to turn back time, no matter how badly I wanted to. So I decided to return to school."

He paused, struggling to organize his thoughts before continuing.

"That same day, or maybe it was a week later, I don’t remember, I met someone. His name is Bryce, and he looks exactly like you, well, almost exactly. If you ever get the chance to see him, you’ll understand what I mean. He became my salvation because, through him, I slowly started coming back to life."

Dave lowered his eyes, remembering the person Bryce had been when they first met and the person he had gradually become to him.

"I transferred to his school, and once I confirmed that he wasn’t you, I still couldn’t keep away from him. I inserted myself into his life, and when he allowed me close, I started coaxing him into doing things you used to do. I wanted to pretend I was still with you, even if it meant making him into someone he wasn’t. He dressed like you, acted like you, and did the things you used to do, simply because I asked him to. He had no idea why I was so obsessed with those things."

His voice softened, but his expression remained troubled.

"After a few months, I stopped asking him to do those things. He had his own personality, his own preferences, and just because he looked like you didn’t mean he wanted to live like you. Once I stopped trying to make him resemble you in every way, I discovered that I was still drawn to him. It took me a while to accept that I’d fallen in love with Bryce himself, not the version of you I’d been trying to turn him into.

We lived together throughout college, especially after his parents caught us making out at his house during our senior year of high school and threw him out. You know me, Eli. I was never interested in studying, and I had no plans to go to college. But because of Bryce, I went anyway. Honestly, a big part of why I wanted to attend that college was to make sure he didn’t get close to someone else and leave me. Studying wasn’t even my priority."

He rubbed his face, struggling to face the memories he was sharing.

"I hid my real identity from him, and I don’t even know why I did that. I also kept him hidden from everyone at home. I was traumatized by what had happened to you, and I couldn’t bear the thought of my family laying eyes on Bryce, for some reasons, I was convinced that they might take him away from me, too.

At some point, my dad started pressuring me to get closer to Kara for business reasons, I played along. I pretended I genuinely liked her because I wanted my family to believe there was no one else in my life that mattered to me.

One time, Kara and I got drunk and ended up in bed together. Bryce walked in on us. I panicked, but he left before I could explain anything, and I didn’t dare follow him. Kara knew him as someone I used around, and if she discovered how important he really was to me, she could have told my parents.

I’d already told her how badly your death had traumatized me and that I needed Bryce to stay sane, but I hadn’t admitted that I loved him deeply.

She didn’t fight me over it because she was head over heels for me.

But minutes later, I couldn’t keep pretending anymore. I broke up with her and told her I actually loved Bryce. She left furiously and reported everything to my dad. I went looking for Bryce, but I couldn’t find him anywhere.

I felt as though I was losing myself all over again. I couldn’t breathe with him gone, and I stayed awake the entire night waiting for him to return."

Dave’s voice grew strained as he recalled the morning Bryce had finally come back.

"When he eventually returned, he wouldn’t even look at me. The only thing that might have stopped him from packing his things and leaving was that he had nowhere else to go.

Otherwise, I think he would have left me without looking back. He didn’t even have friends because I was the only circle he had. I apologized and tried to explain that Kara meant nothing to me, but he wouldn’t listen."

Dave paused, his expression darkening.

"In that moment, I noticed that he smelled like another man’s perfume. He didn’t deny that he’d been with another man. I lost my mind. All I could think about was finding the man who’d dared to put his hands on him.

The following day, my parents persuaded me to bring him home. They promised to treasure him because they knew I loved him, and they said they didn’t care about Kara if I didn’t want to be with her.

At that point, I wanted Bryce at the family residence because, as a Sinclair, he’d have bodyguards, and I could make sure he never got involved with someone else again. But he was stubborn and didn’t want me anymore. I did something I hated myself for. I packed up all our things and pretended I’d sold the apartment, just so he wouldn’t have anywhere else to go but back to me. I brought him home against his wishes."

Dave’s voice faltered, but he continued.

"Once he was there, he started discovering things about you and demanded an explanation. I told him everything, and even talking about it was difficult for me. I knew I loved him deeply, but what had happened between us still haunted me. I used to call him Elove, and when he discovered your name was Eli, he became convinced that I was still in love with you and had never loved him at all."

He lowered his head briefly.

"We fought, but I couldn’t bring myself to let him go when he wanted to leave. I allowed him to go to work, but only with guards accompanying him. Every time he returned, though, he smelled of that same perfume. I was still searching for the man he’d slept with, and I became convinced that the man worked at his company. Eventually, I discovered that it was Vincent Walker."

Dave let out a troubled breath.