Chapter 609: Forever yours
[ To my dearest Lilou,
Sweetheart, if you are reading this, then that means the old lady in that mansion finally thinks it is the perfect time to hand over this letter. And that also means I had met my demise, just like what the future foretold.
A future that I never had.
Sweetheart, as you're aware of my ability, I would like to give you a brief explanation of how it truly was. A person's future varied with the people they were surrounded by and would constantly change if an anomaly occurred. You, for example, had no future with me. Or rather, the future you had with me was a life... I didn't wish for you to have. But with Hell, an anomaly, it was a lot bearable.
I believed this ability was a curse rather than a gift. Because everyone, you, Dominique, Jayden, Alphonse, Hanz, Cassara... everyone is bound to die and suffer with me. And yet, without me... you all had different futures. If I only I couldn't see that, I would've lived a far reckless life.
Why?
That single word had been in my head for two years since leaving the empire — no, even before that. And yet, I never had a clear answer. Why are you all better off without me in your lives? Why... even with good and pure intention, should everyone suffer just because you are with me? What did I do so wrong?
I was angry at the lack of a reasonable explanation. Thus, I had done things that would give me enough reason to understand such a future... and I was not sorry. Although I still do not understand it until now, the path I had taken was the decision I made.
I do not regret it.
If you're wondering why I am saying all this. I will tell you. During the time you were in your short slumber, I was exploring this curse out of... I don't know. I found something interesting about how other people's lives change once I interfere. Some can live a good life while some can lead a miserable one — Quentin, for example. Depends on my mood.
And I was in the mood to help my brother, for he was a handful.
If the future I foresaw was correct. Zero and I were already dead and you are living happily ever after. How nice. However, there was no perfect life, sweetheart. There was no real peace, especially with the blood that is running through your children.
Grimsbanne. Powerful originals who worshipped and the direct descendants of the devil. By now, I presume you knew one or two things about the blood of Grimsbanne and why no one dares touch that lady in the forbidden forest.
My point was, I had seen your children's future as well, sweetheart. Unfortunately, you only had your son while I was alive. Hence, he was the only person who I can help.
On his sixth birthday, I will gift him the future. I say it was a gift, but he might see it as a curse. It wasn't an ability to see the future, but it was something even greater than that. This may ruin him or save him and the ones he holds dear. The option was his.
This gift will manifest in him once that butler severed my link with him. And it will grow along with him. Raise him well because no one was born a monster. They were created, sweetheart.
I hope you haven't torn this letter upon seeing the handwriting for this was important. But knowing you, you will surely read this, for you had an insatiable hunger to feed that curiosity. You also overuse that eyes of yours to shed tears; no wonder you and Hell are better suited for each other. You two cry a lot. What a piece of work.
Now I think I had one regret, and that is not being able to wipe your tears.
I love you, Lilou. I'm truly, deeply, and madly in love with you... or maybe I simply loved the idea of the Lilou who could understand my vicious ways. The version of Lilou who could look at me in the eye with clarity, acceptance, and understanding.
Either way, I cherished the time where someone only see me for me. It was brief, but I can gloat that there was also a time when there was a person whose eyes were only on me. That was good enough for me, sweetheart.
If we ever get to meet someday... I hope we don't. In our next life, if there was, let's not meet again, Lilou.
Before I close this letter, I want to ask Hell something.
"Did I do a good job, brother?"
I hope I did. For once. If I did, tell him to praise me louder than the screams in hell so it can reach me.
Have a good life, Lilou. All I ask from you in exchange for this important information was for you to love my brothers and sisters — especially Claude. If someday, they need your help, please save them. Also, don't tell Dominique and Jayden about this. I do not want to cause them even more pain than I already inflicted upon them. They deserved better.
Forever yours,
Lexx.
P.S. If you feel like crying after reading this letter, I may not wipe your tears, but I can make it stop.
I hope your children won't fall in love with each other. ]
The letter trembled under my grip while tears rolled down my cheek. I was covering my lips to muffle my cry.
"Liar..." I whispered, reading the last part of the letter. "... you can't... make it stop."
I slumped to the floor as I read the letter on the spot. I couldn't go to the desk and read it when I realized it came from Stefan.
He didn't apologize or anything of the sort. Until the end, he was selfish and cruel.
"Why do you always decide for others…? And do just the hell you want?" I hiccuped, letting go of the letter to wipe my tears. "If you are bad… just be bad all the way."
There were many alarming things in the letter, but I couldn't prioritize them. All my mind could process was the emotions he poured while writing this. Because… this letter… the voice I was hearing while reading it was gentle and in peace. And I… still couldn't hate him.
"In our next life… let's not meet again, Lexx."
I had cried a lot of times and every time, I often say I hadn't cried this much before. Tonight was no different. I bawled my eyes, clutching my chest while lying on the floor as if someone just died.
I was… sorry.
*****
EXTRA:
Sam returned to our room a bit late and saw me on the floor. I handed him the letter and told him it was Stefan's. But my husband simply sported a weak smile and shook his head.
"It's a letter for you, not for me. Just tell me what his message to me is," he said, brushing my cheek with his thumb. He surely knew Stefan.
I bit my lower lip, suppressing the tears I thought I already emptied. "Did I do a good job, brother?" whatever this question was pertaining, I had no idea. But Sam smiled bitterly, jaw tightening while rocking his head.
He didn't say anything, as we only stared at each other. After a second, Sam carefully embraced me and patted my back.
Resting my chin on his shoulder, tears rolled down my cheek. "And if he did... he said you should praise him louder than the screams in hell so he can hear you."
"Mhm... I will," he replied under his breath. I felt his body vibrate against mine and let silence engulf us. "For sure."
Today was a good day, but also an emotional one.. Because Stefan, the villain of this story, turned out to be the real hero.