Chapter 390 - A Life
While Samael walked away, leaving Noah to do all the work, his mind drifted to a memory of the past. A memory from a long time ago which held no importance, but still etched deep in his mind.
Samael grunted, wincing at the slightest movement the second he woke up. He looked around to see he was still in the dungeon, where he was tortured until he passed out.
"He surely gets creative every time," he mumbled through his gritted teeth while crawling to the wall to lean in. Samael had a hard time with his legs not listening to him, but he managed.
"Ah, goodness…" came out a relieved sigh as he leaned his back against the rough concrete wall.
"That will take a few days to heal."
Suddenly, a familiar voice reached his ear, making him look at the entrance. A frown instantly resurfaced on Samael's face the second he locked eyes with Alphonse.
"Brother, as you can see, I'm not in the state to humor you," Samael grumbled as he cocked his head slightly.
"Oh, don't worry. Just the sight of you is fun enough to entertain me."
"What a bastard." He spat out in irritation, only to wince as his lungs constricted. Giving Alphonse any attention would strain his body, so Samael ignored his presence and fixed his dislocated shoulder.
"Ah…" came out a hiss after the crack from his shoulder. He then closed his eyes to rest.
"You should kill him."
After a moment of silence, Alphonse spoke once again. Samael kept his eyes closed, trying to convince himself that he was deaf.
"I mean, your father, you should kill him."
"Can you stop spouting nonsense?" Samael muttered lazily. "Unless you want to get punished. I won't sacrifice my body for you, though."
"You break my heart, little brother. I am also your brother, so you have to be fair."
"Call me big brother and I will."
"Big brother Hell."
Samael's face twitched as he snapped his eyes open to look at him in dismay.
"Don't you have the slightest shame or dignity to uphold?" he gasped. "I didn't think you will actually call me big brother."
"Shame and dignity will not help me and I don't want to get hurt." Alphonse shrugged indifferently, raising the already injured Samael's blood pressure.
"If you don't want to get father's attention, then shut your mouth and leave me alone!"
Alphonse pressed his lips together, batting his eyelashes languidly. "Have it ever crossed you that what you are doing right now doesn't benefit anyone? You are only hurting yourself and stocking up the guilt in your younger brothers and sisters. Father also got stricter because you're trying to become a hero."
"Goodness. This is annoying." Samael grumbled in distress. He didn't take Alphonse's words to the heart because they would end up bantering.
"You are doing this not for them, but for yourself, don't you?"
This time, Samael frowned as he shot him a glare. "And why would I want to do this to myself?"
"Because you're a lunatic?"
"Tch. Go away, will you?"
Alphonse pressed his lips in a thin line, sizing Samael up. This pathetic state Samael was currently in had become normal now, as he would be like this once or twice a month.
"If you truly want to protect those children, take out the root." He uttered after a moment of silence. "If you think what you are doing is enough, you are wrong. The more you do this, the more His Majesty will increase the torture he will inflict upon you and that will be the standard of his punishments."
"What will you do if you can't be there to sacrifice yourself and one of those children had to face these sorts of punishments you receive?" Alphonse continued in a knowing tone. "They might die because they are not used to it."
Samael opened his eyes once again and stared into the damp ceiling. "I will always be there for them. Even if it kills me, I won't let him touch those children."
"You are so stubborn."
"Call me whatever, but I will continue on doing what I'm doing and leave me alone." He shifted his gaze back at Alphonse, clicking his tongue in irritation.
Alphonse let out a shallow breath while staring at his stubborn little brother. "You make me want to kill you myself."
"Please have mercy, my big brother. I can't fight back in this state." Samael's response was quick without even thinking twice.
"Look who was talking about shame and dignity." He shook his head but was not surprised, as Samael's character had always been like that.
"Alphonse, haven't you had enough at seeing my pathetic state?"
"You should kill him." Samael raised a brow as Alphonse repeated. "Your father, kill him before he kills you or those children."
Samael's lips opened and closed while he stared at his brother's solemn expression. "Do you think I wouldn't do that if I'm confident that I can?"
"You can."
"Tch. I'm flattered that you regard me that highly, but I am no fool to believe this is out of the goodness of your heart. No matter how you abhor me, you shouldn't push me to my death like that, my dearest brother." Samael paused as he winced after speaking too much. "I am not trying to be a hero. I'm simply doing something as pathetic as this because I'm weak and this is the best I can do for now."
"I don't think so."
The frown on Samael's face grew grim with his brother's stubbornness. Alphonse gazed at him with different emotions in his eyes, which made him hard to read.
"If you are so worried about this beloved brother of yours, why don't you volunteer as a tribute for once, eh? I might actually feel the brotherly love you speak of." Samael suggested just to tease Alphonse.
"Why would I do that? I am not as dumb as you." Alphonse let out a low chuckle before he pulled himself from the wall and turn around to leave.
"So you will just watch like always? Don't you really care about us?"
Alphonse stopped just as he took a step, glancing over his shoulder. "I said I'm not as dumb as you. I had my own method of showing my affection, brother."
After stating such a vague response, Alphonse left Samael alone. The latter didn't take their conversation in his heart as he was busy healing his wound, and that was how the flashback ended.
Samael gazed up ahead with his eyes glinting with sadness. With what he had seen just now and that memory he recalled, he finally understood Alphonse.
A life.
That was what Alphonse wanted. A life with his family; a life with freedom and unlike what they had all endured. To achieve that… Lilou must bear everything.
"I'm sorry, Alphonse… I can't sacrifice my wife for that."