The Duke's Passion

"Let's… run away."

My eyes widened as my mind buzzed momentarily. Did I hear what I just heard? Sam? Was he asking me to run away with him? My heart throbbed loudly against my chest as my entire body froze. I did hear him say that.

"Back then, I didn't understand the reason Dyrroth and Lucia chose to run away, leaving everything behind; power, influence, wealth… I didn't understand what's so great to give up those things," Sam uttered in a melancholic tone as his grip around me trembled. "I supported them just because that was what they desperately wanted, but I honestly thought they had lost their minds due to lust for each other."

I bit my lower lip as I had heard this story at least once or twice. Dyrroth was the late crown prince, the rightful heir of the throne. However, his love for his sister, Lucia, who was at that time, was set to marry, weighed heavier than the crown. Thus, the two eloped.

"But now, I fully understand why they were driven to make that decision." Sam let out another deep exhale that caressed my ears. "It was no secret to us that Dyrroth favored and looked at Lucia differently, but because of his position as the crown prince, his duties must come first. Being the king, the person standing at the top, having a weakness cannot be tolerated. So, my father arranged a marriage for Lucia to keep her out of his sight."

Sam paused as his breathing grew heavier. Now, I'm more concerned about what could have happened to someone unshakable like my husband act so terrified.

"Sam…"

"Dyrroth… that fool was the happiest when I sent them off. Now I understand everything." A soft ridiculing chuckle escaped his mouth as if he found it hilarious that he only understood his brother after all these years. 

"Power, influence, and wealth, those things are not easily obtained, but not impossible… happiness and peace of mind are. This palace… the throne and crown, they are not merely bathed with the blood of those innocent and corrupt, but also a reminder of the price they had paid to attain it." 

Silence enveloped the two of us as I fully agreed with that. It reminded me of Stefan. I was not so stupid to think he didn't love me, even just for a tiny bit. However, because he was the king, he had to choose between duties and my old self. 

So, this story of the late crown prince and the princess was more understandable and relatable. This palace was, indeed, suffocating, and every passing day was just getting worse. Can we really just run away and forget about everything?

"I know by running away, it also means turning our backs on everyone. Our people in Grimsbanne, those who had put their stakes on us, our comfort, and everything." Sam uttered solemnly, gripping my shoulder tightly, but not tight enough to hurt me. "It was cowardly as well, but… I don't want to lose you, my wife."

"Sam." My brows creased as I felt the heaviness and sincerity in his voice.

"I was ready, Lilou. To burn everything, just one word, and I will burn this entire place. However, my desire to put a stop to this unstoppable ordeal is not as strong as to my desire to keep you from harm." 

I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes, taking deep breaths before burying my face in his firm chest. "Is running away the only way we can do, Sam?"

"No… but I'm on the brink of madness." Sam hung his head low, resting his forehead against the top of my head. "And I'm about to make an enemy of the entire world… but that won't keep you safe, will it?"

"If we run away... will that keep both of us safe?"

Sam remained silent for a moment, inhaling the natural scent of my hair. "For the meantime, yes. But Stefan will surely search every nook and cranny for you. So we will have to move from place to place."

This time, I was the one who couldn't utter a word. I already knew that Sam had figured my relationship with Stefan, but until now, I hadn't asked him about the myriads of questions I had in mind.

"Sam? Why aren't you mad at me? If you knew about my history with the king, why hadn't you said a word until now?" I asked after mustering the courage to throw the question that had been stuck in my throat. 

"Because…" Sam trailed off, not surprised, as if he had anticipated this day to come. "… I can only see your memories, but I don't know about your feelings behind every memory. Did you love him? I know you did, but what kind of love was it? It does not give those little details when peeking into someone else's memories. It only showed what the eyes had witnessed and what the ears had heard."

So, that was the reason, I thought. It made sense.

"And even if I know your feelings behind it, does it matter now? You're my wife whom I wanted to start a family with. What you did before I came into your life had nothing to do with us, also… it's not like I was innocent. I approached you for a reason, not knowing you will be my karma."

Karma, huh?

Sam slowly let me go and held my shoulders. He bent over, searching for my eyes until locking eyes with me. 

"Let bygones be bygones. Do you still trust me?" he inquired solemnly, without looking away from me.

"I never lost trust in you, but…" I took a deep breath, biting my lower lip hard. "Are we really going to run away?" 

"Do you not want to?"

I took a long time to answer. Of course, I wanted to run away from here. Maybe, I thought, just maybe, this would be the best for all of us. Ditching my clan's plans, forgetting about the palace, the Divine Order… but how about those people in Grimsbanne? The future of those children? I was hesitant.

Sam let out a shallow breath and chuckled bitterly. "You don't have to answer now. It's alright." 

I gazed up at Sam and he smiled at me. His eyes, though, had spoken otherwise. He wanted answers now, but he didn't want to force me.

"Sam," I called out of impulse, clasping his chest. "Let's… do that."

"What?"

"I was hesitating because I was thinking about everyone… but they are not as important as you, us." 

I knew this was a selfish and cowardly decision, but that's all I wanted. Not the throne, not the power, not the will of my clan, but just a life with my husband and our children. It won't be easy, but with him, we could do it.

"Lilou." Sam's eye softened as a weak smile resurfaced on his lips. He cupped my cheek. His touch was warm.

"I'm sorry you have to go through it," he muttered, an inexplicable glint flickered across his eyes, but I didn't dwell on it too much. "Please forgive your husband."

I shook my head, holding the back of his hand that was on my cheek. "You don't have to apologize. This is a decision I made on my own."

Sam remained silent as he gazed down momentarily before raising his gaze. Again, I noticed the strange melancholy expression in his eyes.

"I will make preparations. I'll be busy for the next three days, and we'll set off in after that," He smiled, nodding encouragingly.

"Yes. Four days it is." I nodded with a smile, throwing out all heroic reasons that could make me waver.