Chapter 119

Hot blood poured over her in a rush. In response, sorcerous characters rose across his entire body at once.

"Dezeb!"

Erabelle seized his arm and strained to pull his hand out from between their pressed-together bodies.

"Don't smile when I'm not there. I'll come after you."

As he muttered, Erabelle clung to his arm with all her strength. Heavy tears fell from her eyes.

"...You cry whenever you see me."

She cried while washing, cried while walking down the street. Dezeb murmured as though it hurt him, then rubbed his nose against her neck.

"Why? Do you hate having some bastard with no memories making advances on you?"

"Dezeb!"

"Will you kiss me?"

Crying, Erabelle nodded quickly. He smiled and pressed his lips to hers.

"Why are you crying...?"

"Ah—"

"Hmm? Why are you crying...? Nothing's going to happen. It's all right. It's nothing serious. You don't need to worry. Nothing will happen..."

Erabelle held him tight and burst into sobs.

"I told you not to cry."

"Could you get up—! Division Commander, what are you going to do about the sheets? I think the mattress is soaked too..."

"...I don't have any money."

"How long are you going to keep saying th-that?"

Erabelle buried her face in his shoulder.

"Is it not funny anymore...?"

At last Dezeb's eyes focused on her. Relief made her cry harder.

"Why would it be funny? A lieutenant's pay is terrible, and you keep leaving me with the bill. What are you going to do about the bed...?"

"Don't cry. I'll try to pay with my body."

"...That isn't funny either."

"Isn't it?"

Dezeb laughed softly and loosely threaded his fingers through the small hand that had been gripping his arm with all its strength.

The next day.

Erabelle left the motel early in the morning and trudged along, staring at the ground.

"......"

He acted as though nothing had happened. The motel room had been cleaned, and his wound had vanished as if it had never existed. As if nothing had happened at all.

Walking to work early, along a street where few people were out yet, Erabelle accepted one fact.

This was not a matter of choice.

"......"

And for me, too, it was no longer a matter of choice.

She stopped in the middle of the street and looked up at the distant sky.

Shuttles hovered here and there as they took off and landed. Between them shone four white suns, and beyond them lay Molinsi, frozen black.

Erabelle gazed at the sky of this other world for a long while. Then an alert sounded, and she searched her pocket.

[Come home early. I miss you.]

She stared at the message, quickly typed Yes, and stuffed her phone back into her pocket. Then she trudged on and threw open the infirmary door.

Dezeb retched once, rose from the toilet he had been gripping, and sat on the edge of the small bathtub with a cigarette between his lips.

"......"

He drew the smoke into his unsettled stomach and exhaled slowly.

What on earth was she thinking about on her own? Pointless things, no doubt. After all, she was the woman who had considered having herself declared legally incompetent just to get away from him.

[Come home early. I miss you.]

He sent the message as he exhaled.

[Yes.]

At the prompt reply, Dezeb smiled and pressed his lips to the screen.

His senses followed Erabelle as she trudged down the street, while his shadows surrounded her.

Even with all that, he couldn't feel at ease. He found it strange himself.

If she runs away, we'll die together.

The corners of his mouth slowly rose against the screen. It wouldn't be so bad if the two of them stayed miserable together.

If he kept her in his mouth and let her slowly dissolve, she would melt eventually. It didn't matter how long it took. It would take as long as it needed to. He intended to wait for her however long that was.

If she insisted on fleeing to her original dimension, beyond his reach, he intended to go there with her.

Turning both dimensions inside out would throw them into chaos, but what did that matter? However many people died, he wouldn't care.

I wonder if she has any idea.

I was already certain I'd end up like this even if I lost my memories. Of course I was. Otherwise, why would I ever have put you above me?

Yes. This had already been decided.

Dezeb drew deep into his lungs smoke laced with a near-lethal dose of sedative. He felt for Erabelle with the shadows he had spread in every direction and soothed himself.

Erabelle was within his reach right now. That thought calmed him. His former self must have soothed himself the same way.

For him, though, it was enough. At least he could pretend it was.

"Could we perhaps avoid seeing each other for a while?"

Camillia stiffened at the sight of Erabelle bursting into the infirmary.

"You..."

But something was wrong with Erabelle's expression. Camillia had known her for years and had never seen her look like this.

"Lieutenant, please give me some truth serum."

Erabelle had thought she would cry a great deal if this day ever came.

Perhaps she had already cried too much. Now that the day was here, no tears came.

"Give you what?"

"Truth serum, please."

At the repeated nonsense, Camillia frowned.

Erabelle's body was affected by her state of mind. Her state of mind, in turn, was bound to be affected by social conventions.

Something she believed was bad for her body would genuinely make it worse. Something she believed was good for it would genuinely help.

Ordinarily, none of that would matter to a lich. But Erabelle had a constructed sensory system.

A sorcerous system stood in for her nervous system.

If she believed she had been injected with truth serum, its effects would truly appear. All of its side effects would appear too. Of course, Master would deal with those, so that part didn't matter.

"What on earth do you want it for? Why are you suddenly asking me for truth serum?"

"Lieutenant."

Erabelle cut Camillia off before the refusal could come.

"If you won't give it to me, I'll go find 59 right now."

She had made Camillia furious, but she couldn't help it. Erabelle took the truth serum back to her quarters.

"Is something wrong?"

Fresh from the shower, his hair still wet, Dezeb greeted her as if nothing were amiss, though she had turned back halfway to work.

"You said you had to go to work and abandoned me."

"There's something I need to tell you."

Dezeb studied her tense face.

"What is it that you're trying to say?"

"I..."

"Hmm?"

He stepped closer, cupped her cheek, and coaxed her.

"Think carefully before you say it, my lady. Carefully."

If she said she was leaving, or wanted to break up, or anything like that, Dezeb doubted he could restrain himself, regardless of his intention to wait for her.

"I-I have thought carefully."

Erabelle asked him to wait a moment, then pushed a syringe into the crook of her arm.

He stared at the bead of blood forming there.

"I-it's truth serum."

"...Truth serum?"

"Yes. I have something to tell you."

"I believe you just said that."

"Yes. I didn't think I could say it in my right mind."

Dezeb gently stroked her tense face.

There was nothing to be done about it.

"Go on."

The rift to Earth would never open again. Was it an affair, then? If so, he needed a name first.

Whoever had drawn Erabelle's attention, he had no intention of letting them live. He coaxed her softly, determined to get that name.

"What could you possibly need truth serum to tell me?"

"I'm in love."

"...Hmm?"

So she really had been cheating. He smiled as he asked,

"With whom?"

Erabelle looked bewildered.

"There are only two of us here..."

"Ah, with me? You don't seriously expect me to believe that, do you?"

"I just took truth serum."

"......"

She had.

"You're in love with me..."

At his murmur, Erabelle's eyes flew wide.

"D-Dezeb!"

He extended his tongue and licked the blood dripping from his nose onto his lips. She had injected herself with such resolve, and apparently the drug had side effects.

"You're bleeding again! Your nose...!"

"You're what with me?"

Dezeb caught the flustered Erabelle by the chin and made her look at him. Her eyes were brimming with tears.

"Dezeb, your nose is bleeding..."

"If you don't want to watch me cough up blood and die from frustration, answer me. What about me?"

"I'm in love with you..."

"Why...?"

"...Your looks?"

It came out as a question.

"T-to be honest, that may be why."

He stared down at her, and she went on in a nervous rush.

"Your looks?"

"I-I mean, there was a reason I kept taking sedatives. I can't be the sort of person who has a physical relationship and leaves it at that... But honestly, honestly, I don't really know either."

Her hands trembling, Erabelle tried to stop his nosebleed and sobbed.

"I just kept thinking about you. Over and over..."

"...You thought about me?"

"Yes..."

"Do you think I'm pretty?"

"Yes..."

There was nothing funny about it. Dezeb couldn't even laugh at the situation.

"Then why did you treat pretty little me that way? Do people usually try to have themselves declared legally incompetent so they can break up with someone they like?"

Erabelle blinked, apparently unable to understand the question.