Chapter 747: Halfway

"Thalruk Acheron... I wonder how the master is doing... he was nice, he even trained Eclipsya. I should have said goodbye to him... he must be mad at me." I float in this infinite void, protected by a barrier while countless eyes stare at me. I’m in a meditative position, adrift in the void.

I’ve already finished absorbing all the [Traces] I had found, so I’m completely distracted, thinking about the past. The bubble-shaped barrier is traveling to another [Trace], so all I can do is wait.

"I should have talked more with the master. It’s a shame he’ll probably be mad at me forever since my avatars won’t visit him." I create a small sphere between my fingers. It’s a tiny universe. I have so much power and experience with this now that I create universes the way someone makes toys.

"I already have so much power... I wonder if omnipotence is really worth anything when I don’t need it." I spin the sphere between my fingers. There’s no reason to chase omnipotence. Having spent over a million years searching for [Traces] has started to bore me deeply.

Sure, there’s a difficult challenge here and there, and sometimes some of the stars with [Traces] are inside a universe with people who have more power than me. But most of the time, I have nothing to do, like right now.

If I become omnipotent in the future, what would happen to the avatars I’ve already created? And if I become omnipotent, would there be anything I could still do besides being bored?

"That reminds me of the conversation I had with my mother... the problem with eternal life is that it gets boring fast, and it becomes a completely unnecessary burden... I, as the goddess of the apocalypse, am already pretty strong... I wonder how Mom didn’t go insane. She lived longer than most universes can endure before self-destructing... what a resilient woman." I always think about giving up on omnipotence.

Not because I can’t achieve it, but because it seems like a job with no proper reward. Something that doesn’t hold much value because there are no reasons. But I keep going, mostly because sometimes something interesting happens, and also because I never give up on what I want.

"Haaa... spinning a universe between my fingers isn’t fun anymore." Before, I used to do this and the physics inside it would break down completely. It was funny watching all the lives inside, terrified of the future. But now it’s just dull. It’s no longer a novelty because I’m strong enough to create perfect, stable universes without any difficulty or cost.

"I really, really, really need to find something to do during the time I travel to another star..." I crush the universe between my fingers as a screen appears on the barrier around me, showing my loved ones.

"...Zephyra looks great... she’s recovering healthily from all her traumas. The new environment, connected to nature, has done wonders for her." I look at Zephyra, my most broken wife. She’s living very well. "With me," the avatar taking care of her is doing an excellent job.

"...Delphina... well, Delphina is more complicated since she’s an ancient goddess and must get bored quickly too. She’s started getting angry at the attitude of the avatar taking care of her... that avatar will probably have to change its approach if it doesn’t want to piss off Delphina even more..." I move on to the next image, receiving memories from the avatars. There’s a slight delay due to the distance.

"Grimm... she’s as disturbing as ever. Seriously, she makes my avatar do that? What a sick woman... but at least she seems very happy, so I’m satisfied..."

"I don’t have many worries about her. The avatar with Mikael has been handling it well too... Mikael... as brutish and addicted to fighting as always. Oh... he doesn’t like hurting me anymore... how cute." I turn it off. I could look at Azraelith and all the other avatars, but something is bothering me.

"....I wanted a kiss..." I touch my lips. I don’t want sex. I don’t want a lewd touch or anything. I just wanted a kiss from my loved ones. It’s been so long since I’ve had that. That more tender and, in a way, "pure" touch.

"I guess even I can miss the people I care about. For them, it’s only been a few years, but for me, it’s been millions of years here in this dull void... No! I will not give up on being omnipotent."

"It’s a matter of pride!!! I have NEVER given up on anything. I wanted this before. Just because I’ve lost interest now doesn’t mean I can stop... Besides, there’s... that problem..." I can never stop if I want to remain "coherent" with myself.

I’m a wild monster. I need self-imposed limits. If I give up on things just because of boredom, doesn’t that mean I would give up on my loved ones when I got bored?

I can’t let everything slip away just because I’ve become bored. It all starts with this goal. If I give up on it now, I’ll start giving up on everything that bores me. Soon, I’d end up just like any of the other goddesses.

And I would start discarding my loved ones. Love cools down, and I know that. At some point, my love will cool and only obsession will remain. But in all my life, I either preserved things or I broke them. If I get bored with them, I don’t doubt I could just let that universe extinguish along with their lives... so I must be cautious about this and not let my mind lose focus.

"I shouldn’t be that far... even if the boredom is a test of endurance." The worst part isn’t the tests the [Traces] put me through. It’s not the fights or the searches.

The worst part is absolutely the lack of things to do. It slowly corrodes my sanity, because I’ve always been very active in everything, and in the void that is Limbo, there’s only me, and a few other random beings.

This weighs heavily on my instincts and bloodlust. That’s why I think about giving up on omnipotence so many times. This infernal boredom is an extremely effective form of psychological torture.

"I just need to distract myself, right..." I decide to create a house. A house structure in the shape of a bubble that has things inside. Not because I need it, and it’ll be slower to travel in it, but because it will distract my mind if I constantly make things inside it.

"A big house, several rooms, a living room with... maybe games? Or a television... although how would I even make that work? Well, a kitchen full of food might be nice... I can just discard it later when I become omnipotent." I decide to go ahead with this idea.

’I wonder if there’s still a long way to go before I’m omnipotent. I hope at most another million or two million years...’