The Daily Life of the Immortal King

It was May 19th, the fourth Tuesday after the start of semester, and time for Old Antique’s familiar history class.

Outside the door, students saw a fatty with a tough, stocky build walk step by step toward the classroom before climbing onto the dais in Grade One, Class One on the dot.

Old Antique seldom brought a textbook with him to class, since the test points in it were already etched in his mind.

Wang Ling thought that in some sense, it was very hard to not use a textbook and at the same time still make the class an enjoyable experience for everyone. In the whole of No. 60 High School, Old Antique was really an excellent example of this teaching model. Furthermore, this method of teaching without a textbook in fact really tested a teacher’s capability.

One weekend and one Monday had passed since the exchange meet. In a short three days, Old Antique’s figure seemed to have expanded tremendously… the love affair between Old Antique and Director Xie of No. 59 High School was no longer a secret. Wang Ling knew that Old Antique’s way of showing his love would definitely be to take Director Xie out to eat, eat and eat.

Wang Ling thought that it wasn’t just Old Antique, but Director Xie must also be fatter than what she used to be…

“Recently a lot of things have happened. I wonder if everyone has heard of an organization called Saint Cavalry?”

When Old Antique said this, discussion in the class clearly started to heat up. Obviously, after being exposed by the media, this fake milk powder pyramid scheme had aroused widespread public concern in the community.

Old Antique’s hand glowed with spirit light before he placed a tin can on the table. “I bought this can of fake milk powder directly from a Saint Milk Powder. At that time, he strongly recommended that I become a agent for them.”

“Teacher, then what happened next?” Feather Lin asked curiously.

“Then, I persuaded him to give me this milk powder without me having to pay a single cent… after that Saint Milk Powder was done listening to my lecture, he made up his mind to sincerely repent and become a new person!”

Upon saying this, many students burst into laughter as they thought Old Antique was talking big as usual. Only Lotus Sun and Wang Ling’s hearts skipped a beat… back then, when he had said he could shoot someone dead with a piece of chalk, a lot of people had taken it as a joke, but in the end, he really had shot someone dead with one.

Thus, it was obvious that this incident very likely did happen…

There clearly was another reason for Old Antique to begin class this time with the matter of Saint Calvary peddling fake milk powder. After the lesson on “Reruns and the Evolution of Ancient TV Shows in HuaXiu Nation,””A Modern History of Huaxiu Nation” was the most important component of the theory of history class, which Old Antique would definitely test them on in the midterm and final exams since it covered a wide range of topics.

He had used the matter of Saint Cavalry selling fake milk powder as a vivid introduction in order to capture the students’ interest.

When the class began to calm down, everyone knew that the real event was about to start…

“With regard to the modern history of Huaxiu nation, we should start with the First Gua Pi ¹ War, which was a catastrophic and shameful part of our national history.” Old Antique couldn’t help heaving a sigh when he defined it in such a way. “Back then, in order to defend against the army led by Devil Emperor Gua Pi, countless senior cultivators of Huaxiu nation sacrificed their lives… perhaps some students are puzzling over what gua pi means here. Let me explain, melon rind is actually a type of drug. Long ago, people would usually mash it and roll it into a cigarette. Once you took a puff, you wouldn’t be able to resist taking a second one, and the more you puffed, the lower your intelligence became.”

Everyone: “…”

“The most critical thing was that once you puffed on melon rind, you’d become addicted to it.”

Everyone: “…”

Old Antique smiled. “Back then, the Gua Pi Army formed very quickly, much like the current Saint Cavalry. This is why the current government is concerned about Saint Cavalry, as they are worried that it’ll follow the Gua Pi Army’s disastrous policy. Although it’s been proven that the substances contained in the fake milk powder are harmless to the human body, this is still vile behavior that is an attack on the national economy.”

Everyone couldn’t help nodding; students who had prepared for this lesson knew that back then, at the very beginning before the Gua Pi Army’s meteoric rise, it had relied on a pyramid scheme in order to gather large numbers of members in a short span of time. It was just that back then, the appearance of that pyramid scheme hadn’t immediately attracted Huaxiu nation’s attention, and by the time the state reacted, the situation was already irredeemable.

According to Old Antique’s customary teaching style, he would usually quickly run through the lesson’s framework first before starting the class.

“A Modern History of Huaxiu Nation — On the First Gua Pi War”: this major historical incident started with Devil Emperor Gua Pi peddling the melon rind drug through a pyramid scheme model. Old Antique had a deep understanding of this period in history, since it was a time of national shame. Back then, foreigners had jokingly called this period in Huaxiu’s history the “National Melon-Puffing Era.” Therefore, to this day, the theory of history class exams would always include this test point every year with the aim of engraving this history in the students’ memories so that they would never forget this national shame.

After quickly running through the cause of the First Gua Pi War, it was Old Antique’s time for gossip once again.

This time, what he wanted to gossip about was Devil Emperor Gua Pi.

“I wonder, how much does everyone know about Devil Emperor Gua Pi?” Old Antique asked as he stood on the dais.

Old Antique paused for a moment, and seeing that the whole class was completely silent, he revealed his trademark smile. “This Devil Emperor Gua Pi was reputed to be immensely strong. Take a simple example, there are records that our General Yi, one of the ten founding generals of Huaxiu nation, once fought Devil Emperor Gua Pi. At that time, when the two clashed, Devil Emperor Gua Pi held his ground while General Yi was forced three consecutive steps back.”

The whole class was in an uproar!

How powerful was General Yi?

He was a sword saint! A legendary figure who along with General Shi of the Ministry of National Defense had beheaded the demon gods!

“However, as far as I know, Devil Emperor Gua Pi had in fact been grievously injured back then and had been forcing himself to endure. And so, after the First Gua Pi War, he vanished without a trace, and no one knows his exact whereabouts,” Old Antique said.

“Maybe he’s already dead?” someone asked, arousing the curiosity of most of the students in class.

“Rumor has it that he is already dead. From the start to the end of the Second Gua Pi War, command of his Gua Pi Army had been succeeded by his personal disciple, Immortal She Pi. But it is very strange that until now, there has been no news at all of Devil Emperor Gua Pi’s death. This makes me a little suspicious, and I wonder whether this Immortal She Pi had imprisoned this wounded shifu to seize his power.” Old Antique shared his musings.

Master of Dopey cried out in surprise, “Prison play?! Bloody hell?! Is this Devil Emperor Gua Pi a masochist?”

“A master and disciple couple or whatnot is the most interesting!” Feather Lin’s face was filled with excitement as she promptly wrote a one million-word boys’ love novel in her mind.

“Of course, there is a more believable rumor that in order to escape his disciple’s pursuit, Devil Emperor Gua Pi sealed his own soul into a magical object, which in legend is a cursed mask…”

When Old Antique said this, Wang Ling, whose face had been lowered the whole time, suddenly raised his head.