The Daily Life of the Immortal King

Bai Qiao discovered that the users of these IP addresses had indeed made plenty of outrageous remarks online. They all had different occupations: some were civil servants, some were ordinary office workers, and some were school students. Bai Qiao had dug up every little detail on these men except for the color of their underwear.

Although their occupations, ages and personalities were different, they all had one thing in common: they were losers in life.

“I’ll have a chat with them first in a short while. If they don’t admit their mistakes, you will fly over to them directly, clear?” Bai Qiao said, pointing a latiao at Jingke.

“Mm…” Jingke nodded.

There was no helping it; his woman was too ferocious – he could only do as she wanted.

The first person they were going to look up had a Baowan IP address. This was a province of Huaxiu, but it was a little special as it was located on a small island just across from the Huaxiu mainland. It had been part of Huaxiu since ancient times, and was an inseparable piece of land.

The IP address coordinates were for a place called Repayment Game Studio, which mainly made horror games. Cultivation Emulator’ s popularity had sent the studio’s designers off-kilter, and they had mobilized all their staff to post negative comments.

Bai Qiao naturally found the person responsible: the studio’s boss.

Owner of Repayment Game Studio, Huang Youliang. Baowan native, 43 years old, mainly engaged in independent game development.

Because of Cultivation Emulator’ s popularity, he had posted a large number of negative comments, and Bai Qiao had caught him in the act. From the same IP address, Bai Qiao also discovered other outrageous remarks which this Boss Huang Youliang had posted online… This man even insulted Huaxiu’s leaders! How audacious!

Unable to bear it any longer, Bai Qiao straightaway used coercive means to directly interrogate Boss Huang.

Today, Boss Huang was still feeling very depressed and wronged. He was envious to death of Cultivation Emulator’ s huge success. He made games too – why didn’t he get the recognition he deserved? – No! This was the world’s fault!

Sitting on the toilet, Boss Huang was about to log into his alternate account to wildly curse everything.

He had to poke his nose into local news: “What? Another stabbing in Huaxiu? It really isn’t safe at home! It’s still better overseas! Hurry up and migrate like me! The air abroad is so good! We never have haze! It has democracy and liberty! The moon is so round!”

He had to poke his nose into entertainment news: “What? Kun Kun is an NBA ambassador ¹ ? Why is it this Kun Kun? I thought it would be my family’s Kun Kun. My family’s Kun Kun is so good! It’s an internationally famous pet dog in Mixiu. How can your human Kun Kun compare with my foreign Kun Kun?”

He had to poke his nose into community news: “Hey, it’s like I said, local housing and commodities are expensive, it’s much better abroad! Everything is cheap abroad! Only by living overseas can you continue to expand on a large scale! Hurry up and migrate with me!”

He had to poke his nose into lifestyle news: “I already said there’s a lot of fake snacks at home! The rice is made from plastic! The cooking oil is recycled! I never eat them! Who knows what kind of oil rubbish snacks like potato chips, latiao or crispy noodle snacks have been deep fried in? I never touch them!”

Right after posting these words, Boss Huang suddenly felt a chill in his heart. Sitting on the toilet, it felt as if a pair of dead fish eyes were watching him from behind.

What was going on?

Why did it feel like a cold wind?

Boss Huang looked around. It was clearly a tiled wall behind him!

How could he feel like he was being watched inside a toilet cubicle in his studio?

“Hey! Boss Huang Youliang, do you know that your online comments are shit? You’re a pain in the ass!” To make Boss Huang realize what he had done wrong, Bai Qiao deliberately used Baowan’s distinctive accent to ask the question.

Inside the toilet, Boss Huang felt like his shit had all dried up. He had clearly been using his cell phone to post comments on the news when a Macao casino chat window suddenly popped up, as if his phone had a virus, and someone started interrogating him inside the chat.

“Who are you?” Boss Huang quickly typed into the chat.

“Who I am isn’t important – what’s important are your shitty comments! Do you know what you did was wrong? If you don’t, I have a thousand ways to make you understand your mistakes!” Bai Qiao replied.

“You philistine, you’re so lame. Who the hell are you? Only know how to hide behind a screen to cuss me out? I’m not afraid of a lameass like you. If you really have the ability, come out and fight me one-on-one. I can wreck ten of you!”

“So you won’t apologize?” Bai Qiao confirmed for the last time.

“What apologize, are you nuts?!” Boss Huang was very stubborn.

This was the first time he had encountered such an interesting hacker, who was calling him out from behind a screen. Did this person actually think that his reputation was a false one? He, Huang Youliang, who cursed out countless people online and was nicknamed ‘Baowan’s Number One Keyboard Warrior’? Bickering with him was just courting death!

Boss Huang Youliang chuckled. Turning his phone screen off, he was about to wipe his butt when the scene in front of him suddenly changed. He had clearly been inside a toilet cubicle, but when he lifted his head at that moment, it seemed that he had appeared at the entrance to a prison…

“Songhai First Prison…”

Darting a look at the sign, Huang Youliang was instantly alarmed. Songhai city… was a long way from Baowan. How had he ended up here while taking a dump?

However, before Huang Youliang could figure out the situation, he saw a child in a white robe staring at him with a pair of dead fish eyes. Huang Youliang blinked, and Jingke disappeared.

At the same time, a laser infrared light swept forward and flashed in front of Boss Huang Youliang.

In a short ten seconds, a dozen or so men flying on swords and wearing immortal robes dropped from the sky. Holding law enforcement lasers and tranquilizer spirit bullet guns, they surrounded him.

Huang Youliang was terrified once more.

It was actually a cultivation police law enforcement unit…

One of them took out a loudspeaker and shouted at him, “The man taking a shit up ahead, freeze! You are surrounded by Songhai’s cultivation police law enforcement unit!”

“…”

Boss Huang Youliang didn’t even have time to put on his pants. He immediately held up his hands, a nervous expression on his face. “Why are you arresting me?! What crime have I committed?!”

A captain jumped down from his immortal sword and said to Huang Youliang, “Huang Youliang, you are under arrest for breaking online security management laws: you’ve been using alternate accounts to post comments online in an attempt to divide the country!”

Youliang Huang, hands raised: “You – You have no proof!”

“No proof?” The captain of the law enforcement unit smiled. “Will you believe me if I tell you that I can name all the alternate accounts you use?”

“You can’t overstep your authority! Even if I’m arrested, it should be by Baowan…”

“Wrong. It isn’t Baowan, it’s Baowan province! Baowan province! Baowan province!” The captain chuckled. “After you go in, you’ll write that one thousand times first as punishment in front of the Old Devil.”

“Old… Old Devil?” Huang Youliang trembled.

“Have you forgotten the Old Devil? When he was arrested some time ago, didn’t you say he was a toy poodle in heat?”

“…”