The Daily Life of the Immortal King

The Maossian expert was impassioned as he spoke. He was clearly very confident in the entire plan. When he took out his blueprints on the screen, it was a thick wad of hundreds of papers covered in all kinds of diagrams, formulas and simulation test results. It was very obvious that this Maossian specialist had been planning this for a very long time, and was just waiting for a chance to implement it.

Actually, every nation had been exploring the problem of an alien invasion all these years.

What they would be facing was a clash of different cultures; whether it was friendly diplomatic ties or a hostile invasion, it would spark conflict.

Thus, the problem which research institutes all over the world had been studying was how to use existing means to control these sparks so that they didn’t ignite and the cultural exchange didn’t turn into a global nuclear catastrophe.

But it was very clear that the Maossian expert’s proposal would be a major undertaking.

“Why do we have to build toilets?” Someone raised the question.

“As we all know, our world is currently short of spirit qi. Before we find a reliable energy substitute for spirit qi, and as long as mankind exists, my plan for sustainable development will allow us to carry on.”

The Maossian expert said, “We will build a total of two billion ergonomic toilets for Soul Formation cultivators. While we don’t have that many Soul Formation cultivators in the world, setting the Soul Formation stage as the standard is also for the sake of the future. If even Soul Formation cultivators can use these toilets without any problems, then naturally so can cultivators below this level.”

“So, the first step in Mr Elizabeth’s plan is to construct a toilet park, and build two billion Soul Formation-standard toilets? What on earth for?”

“Of course, to guard against alien invasion and push the Earth out of the Solar System!”

After Professor Elizabeth said this, the entire video conference fell into a long silence.

They couldn’t believe their ears, but were indeed awed at this Moassian expert’s crazy and bold idea.

“Push it out of the Solar System? How do we do that?” After a long period of bewilderment, someone finally raised the crucial question.

The Maossian expert gave his earnest analysis: “Your imagination is lacking! You should already have had some idea after hearing about the toilet park! I already said that the Earth is currently short of spirit qi; there isn’t enough of it to compress and turn into a driving force to push our Earth out of the Solar System.

“I saw someone ask in the bullet messages earlier whether True Immortal cultivators can join hands to push the Earth out – that won’t work either! It’s true that a fight between True Immortal cultivators can indeed destroy the Earth, but when it comes to pushing it out of the Solar System, even strength at True Immortal level wouldn’t make it move.”

Saying this, the Maossian expert showed them an image.

It was a construction blueprint for a gigantic propulsion system. Not only had Professor Elizabeth drawn it in extreme detail, even the specific parameters were marked accordingly.

“This is my preliminary concept.” Professor Elizabeth said, “My initial notion is for cultivators from all over the world at the Golden Core stage and above to come together and use the toilets in the toilet park, and the foul qi from their bodies will be converted into a driving force. Oh, that’s right, the foul qi has another name that is easy to understand — fart!”

Everyone: “…”

“The equipment you’re looking at can break down and solidify their foul qi in a short span of time, and extract the substances with a combustible effect. As everyone knows, the fart of a cultivator is different from that of an ordinary person; I don’t know if any of you have experimented when you farted before. Apart from some harmful substances, our farts can in fact be recycled as energy.”

“…”

“The fart of an ordinary person is comprised of 59% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, 9% carbon dioxide, 7% methane, 3% oxygen and 1% of other things. On top of these, our farts as cultivators contain some Yin spirit qi, which is also a waste gas we produce when we cycle spirit energy through our bodies. The higher a cultivator’s realm, the more the Yin spirit qi.”

“…”

“If it’s concentrated enough, we can use the Yin spirit qi discharged from our bodies and combine it with methane and turn it into a power source for the propulsion system. Finally, we can light up the Earth! Burst out of the Solar System! Find a new sun, and start a brand new life!”

“…”

“Oh, that’s right, it may take a very long time to implement this plan, and our future generations might have to complete it. However, it truly is a plan of the people! Furthermore, it’ll boost the sweet potato economy, and in the very distant future, the sales volume of sweet potatoes will reach its peak! This humble man isn’t talented, but I have already thought of a slogan! —’Eat sweet potatoes together, the family is better! You deserve the Wandering Earth project!’”

“…”

When the Maossian said this, the experts from all over the world who were at this video conference were all stupefied at these outrageous words, and even dropped the gel ink pens in their hands from the shock.

Wang Ming silently turned off the screen, and reflected deeply on his own life.

…

It was September 1st on Friday, the nineteenth day of the summer break.

Today, Super Chen, Dopey Guo and Little Peanut, who comprised the No. 60 High squad that visited the Office of Strategic Deception’s Internet cafe, were all wildly excited.

Super Chen and the others had contributed in the smooth confrontation against Divine Dao Star’s Star Lord, and Guo Ping had said in the game previously that they would receive a reward from the Internet cafe at the end of the game.

Since it had been said, they naturally had to see it through to the end.

Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal wasn’t a stingy person, and straightaway placed an online order for three identical virtual game pods to be delivered to the homes of the trio.

Their parents were dumbfounded – they had no idea at all when their sons had formed a connection with the Office of Strategic Deception. In addition, the sect head had even bought the newest virtual game pod on the market and had them delivered to their homes. One deluxe virtual game pod cost several million!

While Father and Mother Chen expressed their thanks, they also very quietly asked the staff who came by to install the pod, “Will it affect his studies?”

“Rest assured, our sect head had these machines custom-made. Until the college entrance exam is over, there is a daily time limit on its use. Also, the pod has a game called Fengxian Prefecture : users will need to complete a daily set of exam questions, otherwise they won’t be able to play any other game. Of course, if they find this troublesome, they can wait until the fire melts all the locks, the dogs finish licking up all the flour, and the chickens finish pecking all the rice grains ¹ … only then will they be able to play.”

Father and Mother Chen: “…”