The Daily Life of the Immortal King

On August 17th, in the face of the provocation from DG High’s Li Hao and his father, this farce ultimately ended with the two of them disgracing themselves. The most important thing was that Li Hao and his father’s loss was truly so unsightly… That day, the most miserable people, apart from Li Hao and his father, were No. 60 High’s cleaning ladies…

Wearing face masks, the cleaning ladies cursed eighteen generations of Li Hao’s ancestors as they cleaned the ground. This shit-yellow substance on the ground was the resulting spray of a combination of the expired crispy noodle snack which Li Diao had eaten and the superbug in his stomach. It was in fact stickier than normal shit and impossible to get rid of as it stuck to the ground like Slime ¹ . Furthermore, it gave off a very foul smell.

The cleaning ladies used all sorts of talismans to clean the ground, but none of them worked very well. In the end, they could only directly throw away that chunk of the arena.

At the same time, some of this shit-yellow substance had even splattered on the ceiling, which also had to be removed.

It was fortunate that No. 60 High had initially planned to renovate the school during the summer break. Given how badly DG High’s Li Hao and his father had conducted themselves, however, severely affecting the competition and destroying the audience’s experience, No. 60 High was looking for them to take responsibility and was going to claim for damages.

That evening, DG High’s headmaster personally uploaded an apology video online. However, a lot of online users didn’t buy it, and called for DG, this foreign-owned cultivation high school which didn’t respect local cultivation culture, to be kicked out.

August 18th.

In the headmaster’s meeting room at DG High.

All the directors of DG High’s school board were present, including Li Diao, whose stomach had been very noisy yesterday.

In fact, Li Diao’s stomach had still been very lively right up to twenty minutes before the start of the meeting.

It felt like the E. coli in his intestines had been awakened!

His stomach churned every minute and every second, and made a constant gurgling sound.

The headmaster and the directors of DG High School all wore nose plugs.

DG High’s headmaster was an old man with a silver crew cut who was dressed like a gentleman. “Mr Diao, if you’re not feeling well, you actually didn’t have to come…”

He couldn’t take it, because Li Diao would let out a fart every minute, filling the whole meeting room with the smell.

Some of the directors didn’t even dare smoke their cigars, because the farts were so concentrated that they were afraid the sparks would ignite the air.

Pa!

Li Diao clenched his teeth and hit the table. “This… No way! I was so humiliated yesterday! I must regain face!”

“Very well… I’ll allow Mr Diao to attend this meeting, but Mr Diao, please promise me you won’t get excited, alright…”

The headmaster and all the directors looked at Li Diao as if he was a bomb, and one after another they put some distance between themselves and Li Diao.

When people were excited, what was the easiest to lose control of? That was right… it was the anus…

Especially in a situation where he still had the runs, if Li Diao was stirred up, it was very possible that he would set off another rocket blast, and there would be a replay of his magnificent feat in No. 60 High’s arena yesterday.

DG High’s headmaster sighed. “Everyone… What I want to discuss with you now is the issue of student transfers. DG High School has already received a red warning from Huaxiu Alliance, and we can no longer continue to operate in Huaxiu.”

“Why is the situation so serious?” A director was puzzled.

“In the end, we underestimated the risks attached to this incident. If we had apologized properly at the very beginning, we wouldn’t have ended up like this…” The genteel headmaster shook his head. “There is no way to redeem ourselves now. Five minutes ago, Huaxiu Alliance issued an ultimatum to say that we have one month to make transfer arrangements for the students and to refund sponsor fees as well as the students’ tuition fees, miscellaneous costs, and so on.”

Hearing this, the directors all collapsed like deflated rubber balls.

A warning of this scale was unprecedented… worse still, it was issued directly by Huaxiu Alliance, even directly bypassing the Alliance of Ten Thousand Schools. They had no right to negotiate a settlement at all.

They had poured a lot of investments into DG High School, but no one expected such a result.

“Mr Diao, you should reflect on your son’s behavior!” And so, someone put the blame on Li Diao and Li Hao.

Someone had to take the fall for this incident.

Otherwise, they had no way of explaining it to the executives of the foreign investment groups…

DG’s string of high schools had just entered the Huaxiu education market, but in the end actually ended up in such a miserable situation.

Moreover, this impact would continue to reverberate. Huaxiu Alliance’s red notice would also be issued internationally, so their reputation abroad would be greatly affected.

Enduring the pain in his belly, Li Diao said bit by bit, “I… didn’t consider… this matter… properly…”

But unfortunately, before he could finish his sentence, he rushed out again, one hand on his stomach.

Everyone sighed in relief. “…”

Thankfully, he hadn’t let loose in the meeting room, otherwise it would have to be abandoned.

Seeing that Li Diao had left, the headmaster finally said, “In fact, the foreign financial groups have already decided on a penalty for Mr Diao; it was just that with him here just now, I couldn’t upset him. You understand, don’t you?”

All the directors nodded like chicks pecking rice; they naturally knew how serious the problem was. If Li Diao had been told the truth just as he was about to explode, he would definitely have erupted on the spot!

“The groups currently decided on two penalties, and everyone needs to vote which penalty we should go with,” said the headmaster.

“What are they?”

“First, send them to Taixiu nation to get a sex change and have them debut as a pop idol duo.”

Everyone was hugely alarmed. “…”

There was still potential for turning Li Diao into a girl…

But Li Hao…

After a transformation, he could only become a King Kong Barbie!

“Objection! Such an eyesore!” A director raised his hand.

“I also object! This punishment isn’t humane at all! Why hurt our eyes?!”

“Alright.” The headmaster nodded. “Since two directors have voiced their objections, let me talk about the other decision. The second one is to send Mr Dior and his son to Lixiu’s vampire control center and have them take responsibility for handling the follow-up to the incident. However, due to Mr Diao’s unsettled stomach, the vampire control center is charging a high maintenance fee for building damages. All of you will need to bear this cost. Otherwise, Mr Diao will have to be sent to live with one of you.”

“Why should we be the ones to pay?” another director protested.

As soon as he said the words, there was a “bang” from the toilet next to the headmaster’s meeting room, followed by the violent rumble of an explosion!

Li Diao’s projectile had blown up the toilet…

The headmaster smiled. “Do you still have any objections?”

The directors all made their positions clear.

“I’m in favor!”

“So am I!”

“In favor! Definitely in favor! Headmaster is wise!”

“I’m in favor! Headmaster, please contact the groups tomorrow and send the two of them away!”