Chapter 252 – In this World You Have to Make Your Own Bed…

Lilyth - Mission Day 1 (relative time)

‘Don’t worry,’ Kaidan said reassuringly. ‘You’ll learn the ropes soon enough. After all, you have the rest of eternity to do it.’

We were sitting in a place he described as his guard post. It was a simple room with a steel table, a few chairs, a countertop, a small fridge, an electric kettle and some police-themed posters on the walls.

He handed me a cup of

‘Worried I’m going to drug you?’ he asked me, amused. ‘Good instincts. I guess you already know the first rule of surviving here - trust no one.’

‘Someone spiked my drinks before,’ I said, shuddering.

‘Oh…’ he sagged, and to prove his intentions, he took the cup back and took a few sips from it.

‘Now if this was drugged, we will be drugged together.’

When I still refused to drink it, Kaidan sighed and said:

‘No use delaying it then. Who are you really, Lilyth?’

‘What do you mean?’ I began bracing myself for a fight.

‘That you are shit at subterfuge. Let me spell it out for you, then. Ending up here tends to be a massive shock for people, especially for the living who have been thrown in here by Lady Madness. Sure, I’ve only known you for a few minutes, but well… you seem perfectly aware of where you are, as neither my welcoming you into Hell nor saying that you will be here for all of eternity particularly bothered you. That would point to you having been here for a while, and yet… you had no idea who Flyers are, and that’s a “subculture” those stuck here tend to discover very quickly. So allow me to repeat my question: Who are you really?’

‘I’m an agent of the Dread Queen,’ I used the line Ereshkigal suggested I use in cases like this. ‘My Lady sent me down here on an assignment.’

That took Kaidan aback.

‘If… if I were you, I would keep that to yourself,’ he said. ‘You are lucky I have long accepted my lot and am not stupid or desperate enough to try to use you as a bargaining chip. I imagine the Dread Queen would not be happy with someone trying that.’

‘Nope,’ I agreed and finally took a sip from the cup.

It was black tea. Not a particularly fancy blend, but it did the trick.

‘Was that really enough to make you trust me?’ Kaidan was genuinely shocked.

‘Trust you?’ I laughed. ‘Fuck no. But it strikes me that I will need allies down here and you seem… positively aligned.’

‘That’s a dangerous assumption to make after knowing someone for a grand total of five minutes.’

‘Yes,’ I laughed. ‘The reason I’m here is tied to someone not understanding that the fact someone helped you once doesn’t mean they are on your side. For all I know, you could be a serial killer.’

A shadow passed through his face.

‘Free piece of advice, my friend,’ he said after taking a deep breath. ‘Never asked people down here what they did that warranted ending up here. Some of us… aren’t proud of the things we did.’

Are you one of them really, though?

Since I was in my fief and I really had to know whom to trust, I checked Kaidan with my [Sin-o-Meter], and what I saw broke my heart.

He used to be an LPG gas cylinder salesman. The problem was that he stored them in the basement of his apartment building. One day there was an accident and hundreds of people, including Kaidan’s wife and young daughter, died. When he realised what his negligence resulted in, the man hanged himself out of guilt.

That explains it.

Kaidan began to say something, but his words came out as a slur, and suddenly the man froze. All sounds from the streets also ceased.

‘I stopped time down here,’ I heard Ere’s explanation, and she materialised inside the room. ‘I can’t do it for long down here, but it should suffice for a brief chat every now and then.’

‘I couldn’t imagine a better guide through the seven rings of Hell,’ I joked in response. ‘I’ll take the beautiful Queen of the Dead over some dusty Roman poet.’

My bunny was standing next to me, so I wrapped my arms around her, dragged her towards me and kissed her.

‘Idiot,’ Ere laughed after our lips parted and gave me a quick peck.

‘Your idiot,’ I released her from my embrace. ‘Now and forever,’ she gave me one last smile and then grew serious.

‘I wouldn’t call Kaidan an exception since you will find a lot of people “who didn’t mean it” down here, but he is one of the better ones for sure,’ my bunny said while examining the man. ‘It would also be a lie to say I am shocked he didn’t leave Hell yet, since as far as I am concerned he served his sentence, but the problem is - he doesn’t agree with that assessment, and until he comes to terms with what he did there is nothing you can do to convince him otherwise.’

Können einem toten Mann nicht helfen.

‘Based on everything I have gleaned from your mind about that silly opera you like so much, I don’t think that quote fits within this specific context. Especially since you are here to try to help a dead woman.’

‘I’ll admit, the existence of the afterlife and objective morality makes cynical nihilism difficult,’ I sighed.

‘Oh… this particular school of thought sprung up on Dwynveia multiple times, and boy, were those people surprised after they died. Truth be told, it is not like they didn’t have a point even if their premises were incorrect. After all, we are in a place that is the ultimate vindication of their views regarding human nature, and it is not like you are there for selfless reasons either. While it is buried under the trauma from the World Tree debacle, you still feel guilty about your accidental involvement in Zaevi’s death. You also don’t want to disappoint me, which is very sweet of you.’

‘What can I say? I want you to be able to claim that your wife was willing to descend into the depths of Hell to make you happy.’

‘Idiot,’ Ere smiled warmly. ‘But here is a thing: I also want you to be happy. So try to have fun down here. Work with a faction, make friends, attend some concerts, enjoy the nightlife. There are plenty of visitor-friendly activities down here. You couldn’t get the life I wanted for you in the Mortal world, so perhaps you will have it down here. Some semblance of it, anyway.’

‘It’s not all that bad out there,’ I said. ‘But I would be lying if I said I don’t sometimes consider packing my shit and going away.’

‘Exactly. Such thoughts are normal, don’t worry, but now at least you have a place you can run to.’

‘But aren’t I supposed to keep order here?’ I asked, seriously confused.

‘You are. But you cannot do that effectively without getting allies, intel and understanding of the locals. In other words, you have to go native.’

‘I see. So it is no coincidence that you dropped me in this spawn point?’

‘It is the closest, yes, but it also happens to be the safest. People down here are… reasonable.’

‘There is a literal underclass here,’ I pointed out.

‘I said “reasonable,” not perfect. And don’t forget - this place is meant to be a punishment. The fact the damned are allowed to live mostly normal lives is a control measure. All I can say is… steel your heart as much as possible. It is very easy to feel sorry for them, but they are exactly where they deserve to be. Even Kaidan. In fact…’

Ere then showed me her memories of the meetings she had with the man’s wife and four-year-old daughter. She showed them her nice side and welcomed them to the afterlife together after first erasing the memories of their final moments. Then, to drive the point home, my bunny showed me those memories in a very vivid way.

Neither the mother nor the daughter died in the explosion. Instead, their last moments were spent buried under rubble with third-degree burns covering their bodies. I experienced some of the pain they felt and could smell that sweet stench that often accompanied victims of fire.

It was a miracle the experience didn’t reduce me to a sobbing wreck.

‘Sorry, honey, but I think this will help you maintain a clarity of mind. Every single person here made their bed.’

‘I wish you had warned me before doing this to me.’ I did my best to keep my voice level.

‘Sorry,’ she shook her head. ‘You are right. It’s just whenever… Whenever I have to deliberately think about what victims of those incidents have to go through before their deaths, I just want it to be over quickly.’

‘Dying is rarely pretty and clean,’ I agreed. ‘I can’t imagine how traumatic your job is. I’ll happily help you carry that burden. Just… just let me brace myself before the next time you plunge me into the trauma of someone’s last moments.’

She simply nodded.

‘Just one question,’ I continued. ‘How am I to enjoy myself down here, much less find allies given… the grim nature of my… our job?’

‘It’s as Kaidan said: don’t ask or “check.” That’s how the society here works. That’s how it works in the Mortal realm too. You never know if that baker who makes good cookies isn’t beating his wife. Here it is more of a wilful ignorance, because you have to get along somehow. That big-boobed news reader? She was using her “assets” to seduce men, rob them blind and then leave. One of them caught on; there was a fight, she hit her head on a corner of a bed and died. That guy who almost crushed you by falling from that large building? An abusive orphanage worker. Luckily for him, it was just physical and mental abuse. Some of his coworkers… weren’t that lucky.’

‘How did they die?’ I asked absentmindedly.

‘Freak lightning hit the house the four of them were drinking and playing cards in,’ Ere shrugged. ‘The fact this happened a few days after one of their wards died is purely coincidental.’

‘Yeah… terrible shame that. Are such accidents frequent?’

‘Not really. This also coincided with the birth of Asha, so it really was a one-in-a-billion confluence of events.’

Ah.

‘Anyway,’ Ere began switching the subject, likely to prevent me from asking questions I wouldn’t want to hear answers to anyway, 'I think I’ll leave you to it, my love.’

She gave me a peck on the cheek.

‘Go give them hell,’ she finished with a smile and disappeared.

Time resumed, and Kaidan finished whatever he began saying.

‘Excuse me?’ I asked. ‘Sorry, my Lady contacted me, and I spaced out.’

‘Oh,’ Kaidan said. ‘I hope she didn’t…’

‘Tattle on you? No. No, she didn’t. She was just explaining you could call it the “rules of engagement.”’

‘I see,’ he seemed relieved. ‘I was just wondering why your eyes flashed, my friend. I guess you answered my question.’

Wait… my eyes flash when I use the [Sin-o-meter]? Jesus Christ, that’s an extra incentive not to use it down here.

‘Yes, nothing to worry about.’

I was so lucky Kaidan was predisposed to believe me. I was a terrible liar, especially under pressure on a quick notice, so I could only pray nothing was showing on my face.

‘Anyway,’ I took a page out of my bunny’s book, ‘you may actually be of help to me…’

I explained my mission.

‘A princess that wandered down here…’ he scratched his chin. ‘There is someone here called the Collector. I’ve never met them, but if stories are to be believed, they like to kidnap all sorts of Royals and then play sick games with them.’

‘Where do I find this “Collector?”’ I asked with a sinking feeling in my stomach.

‘I’ve heard some rumours, but I am not sure I can give them out to you. You see, nothing down here is free, least of all information.’

That tracks. But what does he mean? I hope

‘If you expect me to…’ I began indignantly, getting ready to send Kaidan to the respawn queue.

‘Nothing of the sort,’ he reassured me, raising his hands apologetically. ‘What I mean is… favours for favours. And it is not me you will have to make one for. It is my commander. He is the ultimate authority here.’

There was a dark glint in his eyes.

He had me. Hook, line and sinker. His earlier reassurances that he didn’t want to piss off Ereshkigal suddenly sounded hollow, and I handed him a valuable piece of intel about myself, without receiving much in return.

Now the question is - will he sell me out after he and his commander are done with me? There must be some ways of fucking me over without it being easily traceable after all.

‘Maybe to their mortal minds,’ Ere chuckled. ‘It would take me maybe thirty seconds to unravel any such conspiracy if I put my mind to it.’

Won’t save me if someone shanks me in some dark alley.

‘You’ll be fine. There are… contingencies in place. After all, what wife would I be if I didn’t have your back?’

You’re the best.

‘I know,’ she laughed and ended the connection, leaving me with a decision.

Do I trust the “reasonable” people, or burn the bridge?

‘Take me to your leader, then,’ I said, having finally made a decision.

After we finished the tea, Kaidan turned around to lead me out, at which point I summoned my gun and shot him in the back of his head.

‘Sorry, mate,’ I told his corpse. ‘I am not letting a stranger lead me to a secondary location.’