Chapter 108 - 37: "I’ve Even Figured Out Where to Be Buried

Chapter 108: Chapter 37: "I’ve Even Figured Out Where to Be Buried

Da Zai also looked utterly hopeless.

He leaned silently against Lin Zhao’s chest, big tears rolling down his cheeks as he sniffled.

"I wanted to earn money to buy Mom pretty dresses, but I won’t get the chance. I’ll never grow as tall as the counter now."

The little boy looked at his mother pleadingly, saying miserably, "Mom, after I die, can you bury me in our yard? I want to watch over you forever..."

In such a short time, he’d already figured out where he wanted to be buried.

Hearing his big brother say that, the light in Er Zai’s eyes faded completely, and a sad snot bubble inflated in his nostril.

But afraid of waking the sleeping twins, whose little bellies were rising and falling with each breath, the two older brothers kept their voices down, their soft sobs all the more miserable.

Lin Zhao was stunned by her children’s wild train of thought. When she came to her senses, she saw her two sons, heads hanging low as they cried silent tears, looking like a pair of wilted eggplants.

She reached out and gently pinched Da Zai’s little mouth. "Who said you two were going to die? Quick, ptooey, ptooey, ptooey."

Da Zai blinked his shiny, watery eyes and moved his lips, but he couldn’t make the sound with his mouth being pinched.

"Ptooey, ptooey, ptooey!" Er Zai copied his mom, making the sound three times. His eyes, red from crying, suddenly brightened. He leaned in close to Lin Zhao and asked excitedly, "Mom, my brother and I aren’t going to die?"

The boys, just over five years old, didn’t really understand what death was. To them, it meant you couldn’t run, couldn’t jump, couldn’t eat, and you had to be buried in a little mound of dirt, unable to go anywhere... For a child, that was already terrifying.

Da Zai held his breath, his face tense as he stared at his mother.

"It’s just for deworming. You’ll poop them out and be fine. What’s all this talk about dying?" Lin Zhao wiped the tears from her boys’ cheeks, adding a worried reminder, "If you feel sick tonight, you have to tell me right away."

Er Zai’s face lit up. He grabbed his brother’s hand and said happily, "Big Bro, we’re not going to die! We’re going to live to be a hundred!"

Hearing the good news, Da Zai was excited too. Then he noticed the damp spots on Lin Zhao’s dress—their tears.

The little boy grew shy in hindsight. His gaze darted away, and thinking Lin Zhao wasn’t looking, he tried to wipe the wet stain on her shoulder with his little hand. When he saw the mark was still there, he looked stunned.

Noticing Lin Zhao’s gaze on him, he said nervously, "Mom, your dress is dirty. I’ll wash it for you tomorrow."

"It’s okay. It’ll come out in the wash. I’ll wash it myself when I get back tomorrow," Lin Zhao said patiently.

She patted both boys on the head. "Go wash up. It’s time for bed."

"Okay." The two little boys left the room, holding hands.

Lin Zhao sat down at her desk, took out a hardcover notebook, uncapped her fountain pen, and began to write.

｛June 27th, sunny turning to overcast

I got a few pieces of pagoda candy today and gave them to my oldest and second sons. When the two of them heard it was deworming medicine, they got terrified and burst into tears, saying the cutest, most childish things:

Er Zai: I don’t want to die... What kind of kid has to die when he’s only five...

Da Zai: ...I won’t get the chance. I’ll never grow as tall as the counter now.

Five-year-olds are so cute, especially Comrade Gu and Comrade Lin’s little ones!｝

After she finished writing, she made a quick sketch of the scene.

Er Zai blowing a snot bubble, a dejected-looking Da Zai, the soundly sleeping twins, and even the kerosene lamp on the table all found a place in her drawing.

After washing their faces, Da Zai and Er Zai came back in to see their mother sitting at the desk, her head bowed as she wrote—

Her chin rested on her left arm while her right hand idly wrote and sketched. A smile played on her lips, and her profile looked gentle and lovely in the dim, yellow lamplight.

The two little boys walked over and stood on either side of Lin Zhao. They stood on their tiptoes, straining to rest their arms on the desk as they peeked at what she was doing.

"Mom, are you writing to Dad again?" Er Zai asked curiously, his big, beautiful eyes wide.

The corners of his eyes were still a little red, and his long, curly eyelashes were damp. When he looked at someone so intently, he seemed utterly pure and innocent.

"No, I’m writing down a record of you growing up. When your dad comes back, I’ll let him read it. That way, Comrade Gu will know all about how you two grew up," Lin Zhao said with a faint smile.

Da Zai made a request. "Mom, can I see?"

"Of course." Lin Zhao handed him the notebook and went out to wash up.

Er Zai scampered over to his brother’s side, and they put their heads together to look.

They didn’t know many words, but they could understand the drawing.

"Big Bro, that’s me!" Er Zai said excitedly, pointing to one of the little figures in the drawing. "I’m blowing a snot bubble, hahaha! Mom’s drawing is so good."

Da Zai nodded in agreement. "Mom’s amazing."

He seemed inspired. With a solemn expression, he said seriously, "I’m going to be amazing, just like Mom."