150 - Doubt

“Are you okay?”

Arielle had been lying in silence for some time, staring at the thatched ceiling.

“No,” she admitted. She moved to sit up, and her messaging scroll, which had been lying on her chest, clattered to the floor.

She reached for it and set it on the table. She had already used it to contact Elric, but there was no response. She doubted Elric had taken the messaging book with him, seeing as how he had never used it to contact her while he was in the demonic realm.

Arielle had also been reading her parents’ last messages about the welcome dinner they were hosting in her honor. She didn’t know how to tell them that it wouldn’t happen.

Inara moved closer with Sir Spendulon behind her. She slid into the seat beside Arielle, and the dragon settled at her feet and began licking his hands, running them over his head.

“I don’t know how to tell them that I won’t be coming home,” Arielle told Inara. "My family...they've been waiting for a long time, and I haven't seen them in months. It's the first time I've ever been away for this long, and I haven't been doing a good job of communicating with them, mostly because I can't tell them about a lot of the things I'm up to. They're worried, and they wanted to make sure I was okay when we met, and now I have to tell them that they can't."

Arielle wasn't sure why she was telling Inara any of this, only that she felt the urge to talk about it, but didn't want to do that with Vittoria, who might think she was simply complaining.

Inara appeared to contemplate the words for some time before she spoke again.

“Why don’t you wait until Lady…I mean, Vittoria makes a decision? That way you can soften the blow by inviting them to visit you as well.”

“Do you think she’ll allow that?”

“I’m not sure," Inara admitted. "You know her better than me.”

“Not really. I only met her a few weeks before you did.”

“Truly?”

Arielle nodded. As much as she and Vittoria had grown more familiar over the last few days, she didn’t know the woman well enough to predict her decision yet. Vittoria seemed to care about Arielle's feelings and had gone against her own dictates before to demonstrate it, but at the same time, she was fiercely protective of her space and extremely untrusting of outsiders. Plus, it was Arielle's mistake that had made things more difficult.

“It’s just that it seemed like the two of you had been working together for a long time,” Inara told Arielle. "You appear like family."

Arielle shrugged. "I don't know how close we really are. She is a friend of Elric, whom I met a few months ago. And she has only taken an interest in me because she thinks that I should be a hero and help people with my powers."

A puzzled expression hung on Inara's face. "Isn’t…isn’t that what you do already?”

“I suppose,” she said. “I don’t know if I’m good at it, though.”

“You’re very good at it!" Inara's words were impassioned, with an encouraging, admiring smile. "You saved me."

“Only because it was a consequence of saving Elric. If not for that, I'm not sure I would have bothered."

Inara reacted to the statement, the smile falling off her face.

Arielle immediately regretted saying it. It was the truth, but it occurred to her that it might be too harsh for Inara to hear that.

"I'm sorry I said that," she said.

"No, don't be," Inara said.

"I sense I hurt your feelings."

"You didn't." Inara shook her head, but Arielle could tell she was lying, even without her detection spell.

"I'm sorry again," she said. "For what it's worth, I'm happy I saved you. And my saying I wouldn't have bothered was not a measure of your value. It's just my lack of foresight and my inherent self-centeredness. As I said, I'm not sure I make a good hero." She looked down at her hands. "I just... I'm not sure if I'm meant to be here or doing any of these things. I've failed a lot lately. I have also endangered you many times without meaning to. I make Vittoria frustrated all the time, and make things harder for her and Elric too. Yet they spend their time and risk their lives helping me anyway. I don’t know if any of it is worth it.”

Arielle wasn't sure where this conversation was leading her. It seemed there was more on her chest than she realized, or maybe it was just her general melancholy that was making all these doubts arise.

Arielle had never wanted to be a hero, but at the same time, she didn't want to be bad at it either. Not only did she dislike failure as a concept, but being bad at being a hero ultimately put others in danger, which she didn't like.

Not to mention, in the grand scheme of things, it felt like her problems were piling up faster than she could solve them.

She still hadn't been able to access the abyss to find Plutarch or Cornelius.

She had ultimately failed at solving Lyra's problem even though Lyra didn't seem to mind.

She had not read Yseult's diary yet.

And even though Vittoria had caught many demons and killed them, there were apparently even more that were trying to invade the human world.

“I don’t think you have to do everything perfectly all the time to be a hero," Inara spoke up suddenly. "You can make mistakes and not think far enough. You just have to want to do the right thing ultimately."

"Do I do the right thing?"

"Yes. You make people safer, make their lives better."

“Yeah, maybe.” She leaned back against the seat, thinking about everything that happened, about Riorke and Lyra and how her interference had affected their lives.

Had she actually made anyone's life better?

Riorke might be getting punished for her actions as they spoke. Lyra had still lost her cores, and if they couldn't make the spells work for her, she might still get kicked out of the academy.

Even with Inara. She seemed happier, but then again, she hadn’t left Vittoria’s home since she got here. It was likely so that her family couldn’t find her or compel her to return, but still. It was a sort of trap, one that she seemed content with, but a trap nevertheless.

Sir Spendulon stretched forward and buried his face in Arielle's lap, chuffing. She petted him, noticing the more exaggerated hunch in his back.

“Did he get taller?" she asked.

“Yes," Inara said. "By a quarter of an inch. I measured." She gestured to the opposite pillar where there were two tiny marks carved in, a quarter of an inch apart. "Lady Vittoria said I could."

"That's good." Arielle reached out and patted his head, and he waddled closer to her. "He's going to start breathing fire soon. And maybe outgrow this house."

"Lady Vittoria said his mother may come for him by then."

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"I see." She picked at her skirt. "I was wondering if I should knit him another bow tie in the meantime."

"Yes." Arielle adjusted the bow tie on Sir Spendulon's neck. It was elastic and not too tight. "He'll outgrow this one soon, and we need something to recognize him by." Not that many young red dragons were flying about, but still.

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"Yes," Inara said. "That makes sense."

"Do you know dragons can develop a sense of style?" Arielle said. "They don't wear clothes, but they can grow their scales in a pattern they find fashionable."

"Oh. That's...interesting."

"Yes." Arielle had thought as much when she'd read the book on dragons from her school library. She had so many other dragon facts swimming in her head, but she said nothing as her mind drifted back into her melancholy. They wouldn't be able to hide Sir Spendulon for long. He would eventually grow too big to be contained, and if his mother did not come for him in time, it might be a problem for Vittoria.

Yet another problem Arielle had created for her.

"What else?" Inara said suddenly.

"What?"

"What else can you tell me about dragons?" Inara's eyes were wide and eager. She seemed enthusiastic, although Arielle didn't know why. Maybe she wanted to know more about Sir Spendulon.

"I can tell you a lot," Arielle said. "Like the fact that two-legged dragons exist. Dragons don’t actually need four legs to walk, and some don’t walk on their legs at all. Occasionally, some dragon tribes stitch their legs to their bodies in protest.”

"Protest of what?”

“I’m not sure. The book didn’t say.”

“I see.”

"Yes." Ari continued to recite dragon trivia, everything she had learned from the book, with Inara nodding at intervals and asking pertinent questions.

Arielle couldn't tell exactly when, but somehow the melancholy faded as they fell deeper into their conversation.

By the time Vittoria returned, her doubts were all but forgotten.

***

Ever since a dragon came out of nowhere and killed most of their marks, Gio had been in a bad mood.

He apparently hadn’t found enough demons to slake his thirst, and Elric had to stop him from picking random fights with lesser demons he found on the way to hunting down even more demon lords.

The dragon's actions had thrown the demonic realm into disarray, and that, in addition to Gio's less-than-subtle advance, made everything even harder.

The demons had started to avoid the pair, clearing out of cities before they even arrived. This irritated Gio even more.

“Oh, come on." He threw his hands up and gestured to Elric after they came upon a hill overlooking their sixth emptied city. “This is ridiculous. How can they even tell we’re coming?”

“They probably can sense your bad energy from miles away,” Elric muttered, and Gio cut him a look.

“What?” Elric shrugged. “You've been oozing bloodlust since we got here, and your bad mood is leaking into the atmosphere. Is it a wonder that they scatter the second they sense you?”

Gio narrowed his eyes. “Have you been warning them of our approach?"

“Of course not,” Elric said. Though he could have used his arcane balancing skills to release warning pulses to alert the demons of their presence, he wouldn't dream of doing something like that. The demons had to have a way of knowing they were coming and had enough wherewithal and good sense to escape before he got close. “They’ve begun tracking us, I’m sure.”

“And rather than attack us, they run away?”

“Well, considering we've killed several of their lords and legions of their warriors already, that's probably the smarter move for them."

"Hm.” Gio didn't like that answer.

Elric could tell that he wanted to suggest they begin teleporting to hide their travel, but not only was it more difficult to anchor and teleport within the demonic realm, but also neither of them wanted to waste the essences in their limited batteries.

They preferred not to utilize essences in the demonic world. The impurities could damage their EPUQ and wreak all sorts of havoc on their body.

“There’s no point in picking fights with demons who aren’t trying to fight us, and who aren't involved in Earth's invasion,” Elric said.

“Are you feeling sorry for them now?” Gio chuckled darkly. “Don’t tell me that the rumors about you are true. Are you a demon consort, Elric?”

Elric rolled his eyes. "Really? Just because I don't believe in senseless destruction doesn't mean I have any love for demons."

“It certainly means that you don’t understand them. You think they're guileless because they aren't actively trying to invade Earth, when their very existence is parasitic for us. They evolve, and they come back to life, like pests. If we don’t routinely weed them out, they might eventually overpower us population-wise. To find a demon is to destroy it, end of story.”

"I'm not disagreeing," Elric said, although there was something about Gio's tone that gave him pause and made him consider things a little differently. “Is this…personal for you?”

Gio stared at Elric, and for a second, his authority slipped its leash. It was intentional. Gio was too powerful to accidentally let something like that happen, so this had to be some kind of warning, telling Elric that he had ventured too close to the sun.

So maybe he was right.

This was more than a little personal for Gio.

Even as discomfort prickled his skin, and the oppressive atmosphere made it hard to breathe, Elric tried to think of what he knew about Gio Li. The man was about a hundred years older than Elric himself, not that old considering he was the strongest Archmage on Earth. He had no friends, no real enemies either. There were numerous, numerous people he had crossed over the years, yet none of them had any sort of power to take him down, not after he had killed the previous archmage who'd had the number one spot.

Gio had family. A father but no siblings. Several cousins. He did not appear close to any of his family, although Elric didn't know for sure. Especially his father. Elric thought Gio might not like him very much.

Nevertheless, there was nothing to show that any of them had ever been impacted by a–

In a flash, Gio was in front of him, his face close enough to share breaths.

Elric jerked back. “What the–”

“You’re thinking too hard about me, Elric," he said as Elric's heart pounded in his throat. “I’m not sure I like it. Especially considering we’re 'not friends.'"

Elric hid his racing heartbeat, remaining still as he said, "I apologize for attempting to understand you. It won’t happen again.”

“Good.” Gio lingered for a second before he stepped back. “I’m not one of your charity cases. Do well to remember that.” He threw the words over his shoulder as he ventured on, restraining his authority once more.

Elric shook his head and followed.

Gio seemed to have delighted in his little stunt, and it tided him over for some time, but eventually his bad mood returned. He began kicking stones, blasting random things in the distance.

"Maybe we should consider that we've already caught and killed all the ones we were supposed to catch," Elric said. They hadn't found Mordius yet, but that could be because the dragon had taken care of him. "Maybe it's time to head back."

“No.”

“No?”

“There’s something missing. That can’t be it.’

It can’t be, or you don’t want this to be it? "We should go back to the human world. Regroup."

“And give them time to regroup too, right?”

“Gio,” he said. “We've been walking for...I'm not even sure how long, and we haven't seen a relevant demon yet. Perhaps we can interrogate Yseult again.” The fact that Yseult was still alive even after everything kept Elric worried. Archmage Mahmoud was monitoring his movements, and so was Vittoria clandestinely, so they were sure that he hadn’t met with anyone.

But Elric was convinced he was up to something. Yseult was not the type to go down without a fight, and he had been too at peace the last time Elric had seen him.

As though he already had a plan in motion. Considering his fate, he also had less to lose.

“I think we should look into him again," Elric said. "He might be the thing we're missing."

Gio stood in thought, but then they were interrupted by a muted chime.

Sending and receiving messages in the demonic realm was a bit strange. Normal methods did not work, and even if they did, Elric couldn’t risk bringing his messaging scroll with him on this trip, as it contained information about Arielle. They could only use special-grade messaging orbs to receive urgent messages from authorized senders, and they had a limited amount.

It rang in the air, alerting them that someone was trying to contact them.

"It's from Vittoria," Gio said, and Elric's mind immediately jumped to the worst-case scenario.

Something was wrong with Arielle.

Gio activated the orb, and an image of Vittoria appeared in front of them.

“Elric,” she said, smiling, but then her tone got darker. “Gio.”

“Nice to see you again, Lady Di Santinael.”

Vittoria’s eyes simmered, but since they didn't have time to trade insults, she got to the point. "My home was attacked by a trio of demon lords."

"When?" Elric demanded, breath tight.

“About a week ago, they sent an envoy, and then today, they attacked outright. I'm not sure how they found my abode, but I believe one of the Demon Lords' names is Revilo. He might have escaped back here."

"Was anyone hurt?" Elric asked.

"No," Vittoria responded with relief. "Everyone's fine. But it did seem more vengeance-motivated than anything. I'm also carrying out an investigation that uncovers a larger conspiracy with the demons than we know. They've infiltrated major prominent families."

"Have they?" Gio said.

"Yes. We'll discuss it when you return."

"Yseult," Elric immediately said. "We should talk to Yseult again."

"I'm not sure this has much to do with him," Vittoria said. "Besides, he's stayed put for the most part."

"Yes, but I don't know. Something doesn't feel right. It all feels too organized to be random."

"Fine," Vittoria said. "I'll go talk to him."

"No, we will," Gio said. "You were right, Elric. Maybe it is time for us to return."

Elric was relieved, but also worried as well, mostly because of Gio's tone and the look on his face.

He had the glee of a child who had been bored and was presented with a brand new toy to play with.