134 - The Wall

Inara made enough food to feed six people. There was a full spread, with rye bread, ham, sausages, gravy and jam, brewed tea, a roast duck, and oats and berries for Arielle, since she had mentioned that was what she ate while at school. It didn’t taste exactly like the duck the canteen made. It was a different spice blend and was slightly more tender than the usual duck. It would take Ari some time to truly get used to it, but she made herself eat at least half of her meal so as not to hurt Inara’s feelings.

Vittoria, too, ate as much as she could, and then she announced she would be leaving, and they should all be careful.

Do not, for any reason, open the door for anyone, she said, and she reminded Arielle once more to ignore and silence the demon before she began work.

Without further ado, she was gone.

Arielle stared at Inara, who had been feeding Sir Spendulon some turkey under the table through most of the meal.

“Do you need to tell me anything?” Ari asked, drawing her attention.

“Um...no?" Inara responded.

“Okay. I will be downstairs in the basement. Just yell if there are any problems.” She stood and brushed her hand down her outfit, pants and a shirt like Vittoria wore. “Oh, and the food was lovely.”

“Really?”

“Really.” It may not be exactly to her taste, or at least it wasn’t exactly like the food at the dining hall, but it was objectively well-cooked and arranged. She figured she should mention that. “It was well cooked and arranged.”

Inara beamed.

Vittoria had told Ari that she could start giving Inara compliments but not too many. Arielle asked her what too many was, and Vittoria had told her there was no set number, only a feeling, which was supremely confusing.

Arielle decided then that too many was more than three a day, because that felt like a good number.

She got up and went down the stairs to the basement. When she crossed the threshold, the portal bird materialized by itself, probably activated by some mechanism Vittoria had left in place. It perched on her shoulder, and Arielle stared at it.

"Hello,” she greeted, and the bird slowly blinked. It had not yet talked to her, at least not without Vittoria’s intervention, but Vittoria had told her at the beginning that at some point it would start developing some level of sentience, as all living things must.

It would start to talk on its own, move on its own, nevertheless governed by its programming, which was to rescue and aid Arielle.

When it blinked again, she thought maybe there was some awareness within its gaze, but also maybe not. Maybe it was just her imagination that it seemed more…awake today.

Either way, she continued in and sat right in front of the demon who had his head hanging down, a plethora of magical chains surrounding him.

He had already completed the dying process and was now undying. She had started to differentiate the two even though she couldn’t exactly put a finger on how she could. Maybe it was the sound of his breath.

She was tempted to use [Sensate], but Vittoria told her that would be cheating and it wouldn’t be helpful, as it would make her far more aware of the physical essences and those in the atmosphere, dulling her sensitivity to the soul.

Ari also wondered if the blue orb could help, but it hadn't helped her envision the soul of the dragon. Maybe that was also cheating. Arielle didn't typically like to cheat. She liked to win fair and square, but in a case like this, with Lyra’s cores on the line, she didn't care if she cheated. She was determined not to let Lyra down.

So she closed her eyes, and she did as she always did. Listened to the breaths. Listened to heartbeats. Listened to the sound of a creature's soul bringing it back to life.

When she felt nothing once more, she activated [Sensate].

Vittoria was right in a way.

It was indeed counterintuitive, because the physical feeling of the essences in the atmosphere overwhelmed her senses, blocking what she should feel from his soul.

Which was... what?

How did other people start sensing essences when they were young? Vittoria said meditation and Professor Valeria said long sabbaticals, but there had to be more than that. Arielle had been meditating on this for weeks, and she still had not made heads or tails of it.

Would she truly need that much more time?

Was this how Lyra felt?

This frustration following a lack of reward for effort. The feeling of shoving at a sealed-tight door, or trying to grasp air with a third hand that you didn't have.

She was realizing that she'd never truly been a beginner, never experienced what it was like to not have her cores linking to something. Even when she couldn't use essences, when she was younger, there was the faint connection spurred by their interaction. She always saw the essences, could speak with them. She didn't know what it would feel like to not have that kind of access.

So maybe that was what she needed to simulate.

The feeling of being a total beginner, not having developed essences, or any essences. Perhaps dulling her current cores would make her finally able to sense the elusive 'thing' Vittoria desperately wanted her to sense.

So perhaps she had to start from there instead of doing it the way she was doing it.

She closed her eyes and began to meditate as she’d done with the abyssal drift. She sank into herself, focusing on her breaths, blocking out everything except her cores.

She began, as usual, by shutting down her senses, one by one, until her cores were all that was left. It was easier to do than it had been last time. As a matter of fact, every single time she did this, it got easier.

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Then it was just her cores left. She also began to pull her focus away from them, ignoring the tendril of fear that ran through her. She didn't intend to pull away completely, because then she would have nothing to keep her anchored, and that was a horrific position to be in.

So she kept a slight touch on some of her cores, and also focused on the band around her neck.

I am Arielle Blacksoil.

I am a Mossborne.

I will not get lost in the abyss.

That last statement was the embodiment of her fear. She was scared that she would indeed lose her grip on reality and be set adrift. And there was a demon right in front of her. This was the last place she wanted to lose control.

She kept her grip on the bands around her neck and arm. She tried to sense the souls like this, with nothing else.

But all she felt was her cores and the abyss looming thick before her, giving her nowhere to go.

“That won’t work.”

The voice, at first, was merely floating in the darkness, disembodied. It was like the voice in her head, but it wasn't Ari's own voice, and it didn’t sound like the Drift's, which was far more vacant and nondescript, like a whisper that wasn’t really there or meaning transmitted without words.

This voice had depth to it, and it was definitely more physical, more laden with intent.

Arielle used her grip on reality and pulled herself from meditation to find where the voice came from

It was from right in front of her. The demon was awake, staring at her with an almost bored gaze, although he did look slightly amused. He did not seem afraid or even particularly concerned about Arielle being there. His expression was similar to her brother's whenever he was assigned patrol and something insignificant and not worth his time came around, but he was forced to deal with it anyway.

Arielle wondered how one could be bored with death, but she supposed if you did it enough times, then you would eventually get tired of it.

She wondered what death cycle he was on. She wondered how many times he could die before he died for good.

“Your technique is terrible,” the demon said. “Which is to be expected, considering you’re learning from an elf.”

“Vittoria's only partially elf,” Arielle said before she could stop herself.

“It doesn’t matter. Your anatomies are different enough that this exercise is particularly pointless for you. Not to mention your other…peculiarities.”

Alarm swept through her. “How do you know about my peculiarities?”

He smiled then and raised his eyebrow. “When you stare at the abyss, my dear, the abyss must stare back.”

Arielle frowned at him, not understanding. How did he know she was close to the abyss?

“You are attempting to detect my soul. Did you not think I would do the same in return?”

Apprehension struck her, and she opened her mouth to ask more questions, then belatedly realized what she was doing.

Vittoria had been very clear about her not communicating with the demon, and about the fact that they were famous liars. The demon was likely lying too. He wasn’t truly evaluating her soul, and the only reason he knew something was strange about her was because of how she had defeated him, using Phasewalker techniques.

“What you’re doing won’t work,” he continued. "Any infant demon could have told you that, and I’m even more equipped to tell you because I’m partially human. Demons are masters of souls, but my human side complicates things. From a young age, I became well-versed in adjusting demonic techniques to my human body. Which is what you must learn to do too.”

“There are full humans that use soul magic.”

“You, my dear, are not a full human.”

Arielle blinked at him. She opened her mouth but then decided that she didn’t want to say anything, holding herself back. Demons were liars. She should not even be talking to him.

Vittoria had taught her a silencing spell before she’d left. Arielle used it now to shut the creature up.

The voice no longer came out of the demon's mouth, but its lips still moved, and it still formed the words.

You will fail. You do not have time.

Arielle looked away. This was the thing that had captured Elric and poisoned him with demon blood, nearly turning him into demonkin. They had hurt countless others and led them to their doom. She refused to be tempted by his words, and even if he wasn't lying, she would rather fail than work with the man who nearly killed Elric.

Right?

He cocked his head at her, seeming far too casual for a creature of the dark.

Arielle closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to see him anymore.

She went back into herself and began again. This time, she increased the hold on her cores, just above baseline. She didn't venture as close to the abyss, choosing to remain in her mind for as long as possible.

She still didn't feel anything special, and the longer it took, the more irritated she was starting to get.

Why wasn't it working? Why wasn't she feeling anything?

Was it truly hopeless as Vittoria had said?

Arielle exhaled, waiting for the creature to start dying again, waiting to sense it.

But it wasn't coming fast enough, and after many hours, she opened her eyes again.

The demon was shaking his head at her, his eyes showing concern as he mouthed, I will help you. I will give you access to my soul, and teach you how to harness it.

Ari paused. Could he really do that? But he was trapped here and couldn't use magic. How was he going to manage to show her his soul?

Arielle shook her head. This was wrong. She shouldn't believe him. He was a known liar and could not help her.

She just wasn't as certain about it as she would like.

She decided to take a break and went upstairs to find Inara with a full spread on the table once more, this time for dinner. She was squatting down next to Sir Spendulon, who was scratching at the door.

She looked up and grinned when Arielle walked in. "Oh, you're done."

"Somewhat." Arielle would probably go back even though it was evening. She would keep going, forgoing sleep if she had to. Perhaps this was not a wall she could outsmart or maneuver, but one she had to brute-force her way through.

For now, she would read some of Cornelius’ diary. Maybe there was something there that could help her. "What is he doing?"

"I'm not sure," Inara said. "He's been doing this for the past hour."

"Is he hungry?"

"No. I already gave him his lizards for the afternoon, not to mention he ate most of the leftovers from breakfast. We didn't think he liked human food before, but he seemed to love roast turkey.”

"I liked it too," she said, and Inara's cheeks warmed.

That's two, Arielle reminded herself.

"Come on, Sir Spendulon," Arielle said and went to the dragon, but he just kept frantically scratching at the door, making urgent-sounding noises.

Arielle was starting to get concerned.

“Do you think something is out there?” Inara asked, a glint of fear in her eyes.

“Maybe.” Ari glanced at the portal bird, which flew to the top of the cupboards, glancing out the window.

It wasn’t saying anything. She had expected it to speak up when the demon had talked to her too, but so far nothing.

Vittoria did say she would be really busy and would be getting information from several doors that she had placed around the world. Perhaps she didn't want to split her attention even more.

Should Arielle go out and check? Or stay home?

The smart thing to do would be to stay indoors, but maybe there was a way to figure out if something was happening from here.

Arielle checked the security spells on the doors, making sure that they were intact and perfectly secure. She also used [Farsight] to look in the distance to see if she would spot anything.

Nothing was there.

"He's probably just fussy," Arielle said. "Let's eat."