Chapter 196 : Chapter 196

Chapter 196 : Weaving the Threads of the Past (2)

Though ‍​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌​​‌​​​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌​​​‌​‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌‌​‌​‌​‌‌​​​‌​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌​‌​‌​‌​​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​​‌‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌​​‌‌​‌​​​‌​​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​‌​‌​​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌​​‌​​​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​‌​‌​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​‌​​​​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌‌‌​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌​‌​‌​​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌‌‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌​​​​‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​​‌​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌​​​‌​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌​​‌​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌‌​​‌​​‌​‌​​​‌​‌‌​‌‌​‌​‌‌​​‌​​​‌​​​​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​‌‌‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌​​​​‌​​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌​​‌‌‌‌​​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​​​​‌​​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌‌​​​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌​​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​‌​​‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​​​‌​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌​​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​​‌​​‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​​​‌​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​​‌‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌‌‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​​​‌​‌​​‌​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌​​​‌‌‌​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌​​​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌‌‌​‌‌‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​‌‌‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​‌‌‌‌​​​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌‌​​​​​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌​‌​​​‌​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌​​​​‌​​‌​​​‌​‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​​‌​‌​‌​​‌​​‌‌‌​‌‌‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌​​‌​​‌​​‌‌‌‌​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​​‌‌​​​​​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌​‌​​​​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​​‌‌​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌​‌​​‌​​‌‌‌​‌​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌​‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌​​‌​​‌​‌​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​‌​‌​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌‌​​​​‌​​‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​‌​​​‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​​​‌​​‌​‌​​​​​‌​‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​​​‌​​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌‌‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​​​​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌‌‌​​​​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌‌‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌‌‌‌​​​​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​​​​​‌​‌‌‌‌​‌​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​​​​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌‌‌​‌​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​​‌​​​‌​​​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​​​​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​‌‌‌​‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌‌‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​​‌​‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​​​​​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​‌​‌​​​‌​​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​​​​​‌​‌‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌‌‌‌​‌​​‌​​‌‌‌‌​‌​‌​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌​​‌‌‌‌​‌​‌​‌​​​‌‌​‌​‌‌​​‌‌​‌​‌​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​​‌​​​‌​​​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​​‌‌​​​​​​‌‌‌‌​‌‍I had barely escaped Robelia’s clutches and returned to the past, the aftereffects did not fade easily.

Trauma ‍​‌​‌​‌​​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​​​​‌​​‌‌‌​​​​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌‌​‌​​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌‌‌​​‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌‌​​‌​​​‌​‌‌‌​‍I could not remember, the humiliation of nearly being defeated without being able to resist at all, the sense of danger that had been violently provoked from the instant we met.

Those ‍​‌​‌​‌​​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​​​​‌​​‌‌‌​​​​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌‌​‌​​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌‌‌​​‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌‌​​‌​​​‌​‌‌‌​‍various negative emotions mixed together and brought on a rejection response.

“Ugh…….”

It ‍​‌​‌​‌​​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​​​​‌​​‌‌‌​​​​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌‌​‌​​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌‌‌​​‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌‌​​‌​​​‌​‌‌‌​‍took the form of dry heaving, for example. Or helplessness.

‘That ‍​‌​‌​‌​​​‌‌​‌​​​​‌‌​​‌​‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​​​‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌‌​‌‌​​​​‌​​‌‌‌​​​​‌‌​​​‌‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌‌​‌​​​​‌​​​​​​‌‌‌​​‌‌​‌‌‌​‌​​​‌‌‌​​‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​‌‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌‌​‌‌​​‌​‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌‌‌​​‌​​‌​​​​​​‌‌​​‌‌​​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌​‌‌​‌​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​‌‌​​​‌‌​‌​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌‌‌​​‌​​​‌​‌‌‌​‍really……came close to ending me.’

The recovery ability of 『Overcoming Ten Thousand Deaths』 was limited to the body. In other words, mental shock continued unchanged even across Regressions.

Even back at the Enlight estate, when I had first begun repeating Regressions after falling into this world, I had suffered greatly from mental shock through the first hundred deaths.

That was why the form of attack I had been most wary of until now was a Mental Attack.

There were not many enemies specialized in this field, so I had prepared countermeasures as well.

Of course, I still had no proper answer for the ‘Black Bride,’ a member of Ad Astra and both my greatest enemy and greatest obstacle……but it was not yet time to encounter her, so that was that.

‘But I did not expect this.’

The problem was that someone I had never expected to attack me would use such an intense Mental Attack.

It was almost as though I had truly encountered the ‘Black Bride’.

“…….”

After barely regaining my composure, I sat on a barracks bed from roughly a week before that event and fell into thought.

The subject was what I should do from here.

The easiest and most comfortable method would be to avoid encountering Robelia.

If I waited a week as I was, I would receive the same mission as before.

I could accept the mission, avoid approaching the relevant area, then submit a false report claiming that nothing had happened.

That way, I could avoid the immediate encounter.

Since I was in a position of trust, I would not be suspected even if I submitted a false report.

‘But would that really be enough?’

That would ultimately only be a way to evade the immediate crisis.

Robelia’s goal was me, so if she could not achieve it, she would come to see me again and again.

Thus, I discarded that option. It would be nothing more than covering my eyes and pretending nothing was there.

‘The other option is……overcoming it.’

This was the method of confronting Robelia head-on.

I would overcome and defeat the mental shock she inflicted on me.

If I could accomplish it, the gains would be certain. I would gain resistance to Mental Attacks, my greatest weakness, and more than anything……I might be able to draw out valuable information in the process.

‘For instance, information about Robelia il Enlight, information about Rain Enlight’s past, or even information about Ad Astra.’

All of that would be highly valuable information to me. Needless to say, information about Ad Astra, which I was hostile toward, would be valuable. As for Robelia, if I learned how she had acquired that power or any related information, dealing with her would become easier.

And information about the ‘original’ Rain Enlight, who had remained veiled in mystery, would be a major gain as well.

However, it was also true that this was a high-risk challenge. I had little experience dealing with mental shock, and it was questionable whether such damage would even heal properly.

I might end up revealing my secret, and if my mind were completely overrun, even the ability of 『Overcoming Ten Thousand Deaths』 would lose its meaning afterward.

Above all, judging from my previous experience, it was doubtful whether I could even regain my sanity, let alone draw out information.

Yes. It could be said that this was the most dangerous challenge among all the decisions I had considered until now.

“But……is there any better method?”

When I asked myself that, though, no sharp solution came to mind.

The worst option, or the second-worst.

As always, I had merely arrived at another fork in the road.

What else could I do?

I could only avoid the worst and choose the second-worst option.

Fortunately, at least, Robelia did not appear to be determined to intentionally render me beyond recovery.

‘If she had been, she would have burned my mind to ash the instant we met.’

At that point, my fight and my life would have been over.

The fact that I had suddenly faced my greatest crisis sent a chill down my spine.

‘That is that.’

I quickly shifted my thoughts. Then there were two problems: how would I overcome the Mental Attack, and how would I draw out information?

In truth, there was no clever solution to either.

I could only keep confronting her, build resistance, and try to extract information through conversation.

Fortunately—or perhaps not—I had more than enough time to refine the information I gathered and draw inferences. Each Regression sent me back roughly ten days.

‘If it had been any longer, I would have found it difficult even to attempt this. Whether that is fortunate…….’

After experiencing thousands of Regressions, I had learned that, unexpectedly, ennui and lethargy were the greatest enemies.

What followed was a continuous tightrope walk.

Drawing out information through conversation and building resistance.

The intention could not have been better, but the problem was that simply maintaining my sanity in front of Robelia was all I could manage.

-“Mine, Rain.”

That sweet voice, which seemed to rummage through my mind simply by being heard, made me wear down my own resistance.

It took dozens of deaths merely to become capable of even the minimum amount of thought while listening to that voice, let alone searching for information.

-CLICK.

[ System : [3275] deaths overcome. ]

After that period of endurance, when I had barely become capable of grasping the situation and making rational judgments, I gained a few things.

“……Why are you……here……?”

When I could finally bring up the question, even with a hesitant, stammering voice—

“Is that all you have to ask the sister you have reunited with after so long?”

Robelia spoke softly, an ominous smile on her lips and a hand resting against her cheek.

“Did you know Claudio told me to restrain myself? I came all the way here after insisting despite him, and I am truly hurt.”

Claudio had told Robelia to restrain herself.

In other words, at least her appearance here was not the will of Ad Astra.

I did not know what Robelia truly intended, but at least on the level of the organization, it was not a scheme. It was Robelia’s personal deviation.

That was, at least, somewhat reassuring information.

The second gain was establishing as fact my assumption that Robelia’s purpose was not to render me beyond recovery.

“I would prefer it if you did not shrink away so much. I only came to see your face for a moment.”

“But……all the way to this distant place……?”

“My, you can even speak properly. What a good boy. Hehe.”

I could not yet judge whether she was hostile toward me, but one thing was certain: Rain Enlight was not even a threat to her.

This was merely a kind of amusement, and a declaration of the shock that would follow.

That gentle tone, as though she were dealing with a child……no, a pet, gave certainty to that conclusion.

‘More than a pet, am I closer to a cherished doll?’

Should I call that fortunate, or unfortunate?

Should I be relieved by an enemy’s mercy, or despair at the reality where even that mercy made my existence feel threatened?

“Damn……!”

-CRUNCH—!

After ending the Iteration in which I reached that conclusion, I slammed my fist into the bed.

It was an outburst of humiliation and frustration at the fact that she did not even recognize me as an enemy.

If she had truly made up her mind, it could be considered fortunate that everything would have ended long ago……

But the fact that I was struggling so desperately over what was merely a declaration or an act of idle interest was the despairing part.

Fear, danger, shock, humiliation, relief.

Those emotions alone spun in repetition like a hamster wheel.

“Rain.”

Encounter.

-CLICK.

[ System : [3288] deaths overcome. ]

Death.

“Just for now, focus on me……”

Encounter.

-CLICK.

[ System : [3305] deaths overcome. ]

Death.

“Hehe, those dreamlike days when you were like my own adorable doll—”

Encounter.

-CLICK.

[ System : [3321] deaths overcome. ]

Death.

Even throughout countless repetitions, there was not a single Iteration in which I endured the entirety of that short conversation, which did not even last ten minutes.

Before the conversation could reach its end, I merely followed the urgent alarm ringing in my head and barely turned back time.

And

“Cough, hack…….”

After every Regression, a violent rejection response always followed.

Fear that showed no sign of ever improving dominated my mind.

Since facing Akmandar, Salvatio, and Grændal at the same time, had I ever experienced a Regression more hopeless than this?

Yes. If I compared their difficulty and severity, this could not even be placed beside that incident. At least now, I could see a clue toward solving it.

But in terms of the intensity of the mental shock……they were merely different vectors, and the impact seemed roughly comparable.

As I repeated days that wore down my mind and inner self, I could not help but form deep questions.

First,

‘What on earth did Rain Enlight suffer at the hands of Robelia il Enlight?’

From previous encounters, I had been able to vaguely tell that he had severe trauma related to her.

But could it be this intense?

It had long surpassed the realm of normality. Not that abuse or shock could have a normal range, but this clearly lay beyond any such category.

Second.

‘Could trauma alone really have caused this?’

There was clearly a limit—a ceiling—to the scars left by human actions.

Perhaps I thought that only because my imagination was lacking, but I could not deny that there was something strange about this.

Thus, no matter what Robelia had done, the fact that I felt shock to this extent……lent weight to the inference that there was another factor.

The most likely hypothesis was that Robelia had acquired formidable power in some way.

But how?

If that were possible, anyone with power and wealth would be wielding great strength.

I had certainly learned quite a few things, but questions still piled up like a mountain.

There was no sign that the situation was properly improving, so the road ahead could only feel blocked.

But what else could I do?

Close my eyes, or run.

Two choices, and the absurdity of having to choose one.

Running was painful, but I hated closing my eyes even more.

Yes. That was all.