Novel Full Chapter 420 - In His Hands
RIKA
Rika was finding this conversation the most wonderful, and the most terrifying she'd ever been a part of.
Elia held her gaze, unwavering. "Rika, if you've been hurt before…" she said quietly, "with the exception of my mate, Gar's father, there is literally no better set of hands that you could place your heart in. Gar will not just protect you, he will… cherish you. He is strong and more powerful than he gives himself credit for. Everyone he meets wants to follow him without him even knowing it. But he's been hurt too. He fears. A lot. And it makes him see himself in a way that is… less than he is. If you give him a chance, he will make you so happy."
Rika had to swallow tears. She'd yearned for conversations like this with her own mother countless times. But her own mother was so weak, always only looking to keep the peace, her advice only ever pointed Rika at keeping her father happy.
Rika hated him. And her fear of him… it had made her wary of other men too.
"The problem is," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper, "I don't know how to… to put myself in someone else's hand. I don't know how to relax with other people. Especially men. I'm always much happier alone."
Elia's face crumpled with concern and she stroked Rika's arm. "I'm sorry that you've been hurt," she said quietly. "I just want to encourage you: When you meet the right male… one who loves you like the Creator does—who cares as much for your feelings as his own—you'll find he's not frightening at all. Quite the opposite—he's your safe place. His strength lets you relax. There's no better, warmer place to be. He's worth the risk. I promise."
Rika shivered and laughed at herself, shaking her head. "It sounds wonderful when you say it, but I can't… I can't even see that in my head. "
Elia smiled. "That's okay. Just keep your eyes open. You'll see it in front of you soon enough. And when you do… take the risk. Let yourself give it a shot. Let yourself give him a chance to prove himself to you. He will, Rika. I promise. Take the risk. You won't regret it. Take the risk.
"That's not me as a mother speaking, that's me as a woman. Let him show himself to you. You won't regret it." Then Elia frowned. "I know if you do that, you'll be glad that you did, and it will all work out for both of you. But the question is… do you want it to?"
Rika's instinct was to play the question down. To keep her cards close to her chest. But something about this woman was so warm. So strong. So certain of herself, and of Gar…
"I… I…" Rika swallowed hard. "I love it here," she said quietly. "I wish I never had to leave. And I wish… I wish it was easy to just be with him…"
"Well then," Elia said simply, reaching across to squeeze her arm. "That's good, because I think my son would lose his mind if you didn't stay. An Anima's mate is… it's a soul bond. I know you can't sense it yet, but trust me, when you do… Rika, it's the most beautiful thing. And it will cement you here, with him. But until then… until then… please be careful with him. He's experienced pain too, though not the same kind and shape as yours. He is far more easily wounded than he lets on. So… just be honest with him. He'll respect you as long as he knows where the boundaries are. He only presses those with his father and sister," Elia sighed. "And honestly, I'm hoping that soon he'll stop doing it with them as well."
Rika snorted. "The way he and Elreth went at it today, I kind of doubt it," she said.
Elia grinned. "Yeah, me too. But a mother can pray." Then she took a deep breath. "I'm going to let you rest in a moment, I promise. But there's one more thing… you mentioned earlier about possibly going to try to convince the humans not to come here. That you might be able to show them the value of what's here?"
Rika nodded, though her stomach sank.
Elia's lips thinned. "I know you may not believe this, Rika, but life isn't just logic and plan. There's a side to this life—you'd call it a spiritual side—that impacts everything that happens, whether you realize it or not." Elia's forehead wrinkled and she looked down.
"Rika, I don't want to scare you, but we already know that you won't be able to convince them to change their plan. I'm glad that you would want to try. But, just trust me… we've been preparing for this time for twenty years. The Creator told us ahead of time that this would happen, and He gave us a way to thwart it. Your life… your life is safer here. Please don't waste it trying to tell ambitious men things they don't want to hear. Please."
Rika stared at her. "You're certain of this?"
"Absolutely."
Rika bit her lip, then shrugged. "I won't go unless something changes, how about that? I won't go unless Gar or Elreth think it's a good idea."
Elia smiled sadly. "That's a start," she said quietly. Then she got to her feet. Rika followed without thought, surprised when Elia pulled her into a hug.
She hesitated, then patted the woman's back awkwardly.
"I'm going to go get Gar," Elia said, pulling away with shining eyes and starting towards the door, Rika following. "I'll send him back so you aren't alone. But just know that I'm right next door in the next tree, okay? I'll arrange for some clothes to be brought to you, and stuff for bathing. I'll make sure Gar remembers to take you to the pools."
She smiled again as she opened the door, but when she turned to step out, she stopped, her eyes widening.
Positioned on the other side of the door, Rika couldn't see what she saw outside. "What is it?"
Elia brought a hand to her mouth and her eyes welled. "I think… maybe it isn't me who needs to go after all."
Rika pulled the door a little wider and peered out.
Across the meadow, Gar stood with his back to them, face in his hands. Rika's stomach clenched. "Why wouldn't he have come in?"
"I'm guessing he and his father just had a male-to-male and aired some of their bullshit," Elia said, tears in her eyes. "And I'm guessing he's struggling to feel safe himself right now."
She looked at Rika, a question in her eyes. Rika swallowed hard.
"Does he make you feel safe, Rika?"
"I mean… More than anyone else ever has. He doesn't push my boundaries. When I tell him… he backs off and lets me have them. And he… he waits."
Elia nodded. "It's because he already loves you and he's trying to navigate what you need. Just keep telling him. He'll get it soon, and you won't have to keep drawing the lines. But until then… he has his wounds too. And right now he could really use some comfort from someone who he feels safe to show how he's feeling. So the questions is, are you safe for him, Rika?"
The first hint of something fierce flashed in her eyes. Rika found herself suddenly wanting to rush in and reassure this strong, compelling woman that she'd never hurt him. But before she could open her mouth, Elia nodded. "Good. Go tell him that."
Then she left.
*****
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