Chapter 298 - Always Here
ELRETH
She'd tried their cave, and the disformed cave. There were several gathered there—Gar looked like a flustered mother hen trying to keep track of several of the young females. Elreth grinned and didn't call him away. Robbe told her Aaryn had left an hour earlier.
"Was he… okay?" she asked hesitantly, uncertain what Aaryn would have told them.
Robbe's lips thinned. "Honestly, he seemed like someone who was pretending to be okay. Did he… did he tell you where he's been? What's been going on?" Robbe glanced over his shoulder at Gar and the others.
Elreth nodded. "I wasn't sure if he told you guys."
Robbe looked relieved. "It was kind of hard to miss. But I am worried about him. He needs all of us around right now, I think. Especially you."
Elreth heard the concerned warning in Aaryn's friend. Half of her appreciated it, while the other half bristled. "I'll keep looking until I find him," she assured the male. "Thank you for caring."
"Aaryn's easy to care about."
"I agree," she said with a smile that was genuine. "I'll make sure and let him know we talked. I'm glad he was sharing with everyone. It's a tough time."
Robbe nodded, though he looked a little odd. But Elreth bade him goodbye and trotted out of the cave before the others noticed her.
He had to be at the Weeping Tree. She just prayed her parents hadn't taken one of their evening walks. That would get awkward.
*****
She wasn't sure why she felt nervous, but the closer she got to the tree, the tighter the knot—that seemed to hold the door closed on hundreds of butterflies, fluttering in her stomach—tightened.
As she approached the clearing, she slowed to a creep, listening carefully in case her parents were in there together. But all she heard was the whirr and click of the cicadas, and all she saw was the evening light making dust motes glow in the clearing. Then as she got closer, she heard Aaryn's breath catch and her heart swelled.
She hurried forwards, parting the leaves fluttering in the warm, fading sunlight to push through into the deepening shadows beyond.
It took a split second for her eyes to adjust. When they did, Aaryn was revealed as if emerging from a dark fog.
He was sprawled at the base of the tree, his legs extended in front of him, his head back against the trunk, arms folded across his chest.
In another moment she might have thought he was angry. His entire body looked tense and rigid. But his face…
His handsome face was peppered with lines that dragged down on his lips, his brows, puckered his forehead.
His eyes—fixed on the dirt in front of him—matched the frown of his lips. They swam with grief and fear and… something dark that made Elreth shiver.
"Aaryn?"
His head snapped up, his eyes turning from grieving to pleading when they locked on her.
"Thank you for coming for me," he rasped.
Elreth blinked. "Of course… Aaryn what happened? I mean, I know what happened, but… why didn't you come find me if you needed help? I want to be there for you. Always."
He nodded. "I just needed some time. It was rough with the disformed. Then when I left the cave… I saw her."
Her? Elreth was about to ask… then it hit her between the eyes. "Your mom's beast?"
He nodded. "She was watching me and I don't know why. It was… I mean… is she still in there? Still thinking about coming back? Or is it just the beast's instinct to watch over me? Or is she just staying close because this is her home and she doesn't know where else to go—El, what if she's hungry, or hurt. She wouldn't let me get close. She might be dying and I wouldn't even know!"
Elreth rushed across the space between them as he drew his knees up and leaned on them, his eyes hollow and searching.
She dropped to the dirt in front of him and pulled him into an embrace that he returned desperately, opening his knees to get her closer and pulling her into his chest.
They clung to each other for a long moment, Elreth stroking his back and nuzzling his neck, small, breaking calls resonating in her throat that he returned, deeper and trailing off into the whine of the beast within him that she'd never seen.
Later, they sat next to each other, both with their backs to the large trunk of the tree, their thighs pressed against each other. Elreth had taken his hand and twined their fingers. Aaryn wasn't really talking, but he seemed to draw comfort from her presence, pulling her closer at times.
"Your mom was beautiful," she whispered. "Really beautiful. I wish I'd seen her in her beast form in a more… happy circumstance."
He nodded sadly. "She hardly ever shifted because she didn't want to make me feel bad," he murmured, then grimaced. "Everyone always has to keep themselves less around me."
"What? Aaryn what are you talking about?"
"You know what I'm talking about, El," he growled, tipping his head back against the tree trunk again. "Look, don't worry about it. I'm just in a funk. I just need a few hours, then I'll get moving again. I just… it's just hard."
"Aaryn, you don't have to 'get moving' again. I'm here because I want to be with you. I want to help you. I just want to make sure you're seeing yourself clearly. It sounds like… like you're kind of hurting yourself right now. No one has to be less around you. They have to up their game to keep up with you!"
Aaryn didn't respond at first. When he did, he shook his head. "I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Just ignore me."
"No," she said firmly.
Aaryn let his lips twist up on one side, but his heart wasn't in it. She waited, but all expression slowly dropped from his face and his eyes got that distant shadow, like he'd gone deep in his own mind—maybe even forgotten she was there. And given his frown, it looked like he didn't like what he saw.
"Aaryn," she said softly. He didn't respond, so she took his hand and tugged at him. "Aaryn, look at me."
He turned his handsome face then—lined and full of grief as it was—and met her searching gaze with his sad one. Elreth's heart stopped for a moment. There was so much darkness in his eyes, so many shadows and fears.
"I love you, Aaryn," she whispered. "But I'm worried about you. Maybe we should go home and rest there?"
He stared at her, long and silent, then shook his head. "No," he croaked. "No. Just be with me, El. That's what I need right now. I need to not move and not see anyone else but you."
*****
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