Chapter 64: leaving the party

Sophia found him on the other side of town.

Kira had gone back to the inn. Sophia had told her to, saying she would be the one to talk to Leon, and Kira had hesitated before nodding and walking off alone with her arms wrapped around herself. Sophia had then walked the streets of Astria for a good while.

The lanterns were burning low, and most of the shops had shuttered for the night. She finally spotted a small figure ahead of her, walking slowly along the edge of the road with his head down and his hands shoved in his pockets.

She caught up in a few quick steps. She did not call his name. She came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest, pulling him back against her.

Leon froze.

His whole body went stiff, and he stopped walking. For a moment, there was no sound at all except the wind pushing a loose shutter back and forth somewhere down the street.

"It’s okay," Sophia said quietly, her chin resting on top of his head. "It’s okay, Leon."

He did not answer.

"You know everything Mark said isn’t true, right? He was drunk. He was angry, and he was lashing out at the first person he could find."

"But it is," Leon said.

His voice was small and hoarse. Sophia’s arms tightened a little, and he spoke again before she could say anything.

"It is true, Sophia. Everywhere I go, I bring destruction with me. My mum died because of me. Snow, my friend, basically became a monster running from the world because of me.

People have suffered just because I was around. And now the party is suffering, and Mark is suffering." He swallowed. "No matter how much I try to tell myself it isn’t my fault, it still is. That is the fact that remains."

Sophia did not loosen her grip. If anything, she held him tighter.

"You are only counting the bad," she said.

Leon said nothing.

"You’re forgetting the good. You are forgetting that you are the only person I ever opened up to. The only person who knows what happened to me. The only one who understands what it is like to be me." Her voice dropped lower. "You’ve helped Kira in more ways than you know. You’ve helped this whole party.

You saved us when we fought that lich underground, and you’ve saved us more times than I can count. When the undead attacked the city, you protected those kids and all those people in the building. You have protected more people than you realize."

She turned him around gently so that she could see his face.

"You can’t build your whole life around the bad things that happened and make yourself feel guilty about all of it. It was nothing but bad luck, Leon. Pure bad luck."

Leon stood there with his arms hanging at his sides, tears running silently down his cheeks. He did not wipe them away. For a long while, he did not move at all, only breathed in slow, shaky pulls.

"I just..." he finally said. "I just want to get everything back to how it was."

Sophia waited.

"The party, how it was. Snow, how it was. My family, how it was." He shook his head. "I haven’t seen my sisters in so many years now. And the more I try, the further everything goes. Everywhere I go, things just scatter. It’s like I’m pulling at a thread, and the whole thing keeps coming apart in my hands."

He wiped his face with his sleeve.

"It’s hard to see the good when the bad is so much bigger than it," he said.

"I understand how you feel," Sophia said softly. "I really do. But it is still not your fault. No matter what." She put her hand on his shoulder. "And you are still the best thing that has ever happened to this party."

He let out a breath that was half a laugh, half a sob.

There were a few wooden crates stacked against the wall of a shuttered shop, left out for someone to collect in the morning. Sophia led him over and they sat down side by side on the rough boards.

The sky above Astria was clear, scattered with stars. Neither of them said anything for a while. After a few minutes, Leon let his head tilt sideways and rest against her shoulder, and she did not move or say a word about it.

They stayed like that for a long time.

They talked a bit more, in low voices, about small things. About the merchant and the horseshoe. About the forest ahead. About whether Kira had stolen the last of the bread again. The night grew later and colder, and the street grew quieter, until at last Sophia nudged him gently.

"Come on. Let’s go home."

They walked back to the inn together. Leon felt lighter than he had in days. The knot in his chest had loosened, and it no longer felt like something he would have to carry forever. He climbed the stairs, said goodnight, and fell into his bed.

His head touched the pillow, and his eyes snapped open.

He was no longer in the inn.

He was standing in an empty space, with the pillar rising in front of him, glowing with its slow pulse. He knew this place. And sitting at the top of the pillar, with his elbows on his knees and his palms under his chin, was a slim man with long braided hair.

Dio Larek looked right at him with a bright smile.

"It’s been a while, kid," he said, and let out a soft chuckle.

Leon stepped back. His heart rate shot up, and it felt as if a hand had closed around his chest. Everything he had just spent the night letting go of came flooding back at once. Calamity. Fate. It’s all your fault. Mark’s voice. Dio Larek’s voice. They all blended together.

"What do you want?" he asked immediately.

"Oh, nothing much." Dio Larek swung his legs. "It has been many years since we last spoke. I thought I would come and check on you." His eyes moved slowly over Leon from head to toe, and the smile widened. "And look at the state you are in."

He laughed.

"You can see it now, can’t you? You are a magnet for calamity."

"Shut up," Leon said.

"Everywhere you go, things fall apart."

"I said shut up. I’m not listening to anything you have to say." Leon clenched his fists. "Send me back."

Dio Larek shook his head slowly, the way someone shakes it when they have told another person exactly what will happen and watched them fight it anyway.

"How long are you going to keep putting all of them in danger?" he said. "You will come to see it, Leon. No matter how far you run, no matter how strong you become, you are not going to escape fate itself."

Leon said nothing. His jaw was tight.

"Anyway." Dio Larek stretched his arms over his head. "I hope you remember our deal. And I suggest you be a little faster about it. Things are about to get a bit more disastrous."

The pillar flashed.

Leon jerked awake.

He was lying in his bed in the inn, a thin layer of cold sweat on his skin, his heart hammering. The room was dark, and the window was turning pale grey with the first light of the morning. He lay there for a long time, staring at the ceiling and forcing his breathing to slow.

’It was just a dream. Just a dream.’

It was not, and he knew it. But he swallowed the panic and pushed it down, and by the time he got out of bed, his face showed nothing.

The party had a quest to leave for that day. Leon dressed, strapped on his gear, and met the others at the table in the restaurant section of the inn, where the smell of fresh bread and fried eggs filled the air.

Kira was already there, picking at her food. Sophia sat across from her, and she gave Leon a small, careful look as he sat down. He gave her a tiny nod to tell her he was fine.

They were going over the details of the quest when the door opened.

Mark walked in.

All three of them stopped talking.

He looked much better than he had the night before. The blood was gone from his face, and his hair was combed. He had washed, and his clothes were clean. A bruise still darkened his jaw, and one eye was a bit swollen, but his steps were steady, and there was no trace of alcohol in the way he carried himself.

He stopped in front of their table and stood there.

Nobody said a word.

Mark reached into his coat, pulled out a pouch, and set it down on the wooden surface with a soft clink. He kept his hand on it for a second and then took it away.

"I’m leaving the party," he said.