System vs Rebirth

‘Hu… I shouldn’t get too worked up. I am supposed to be older than Noel right now…’ Anna took a deep breath, trying to calm her heart down. ‘I don’t know why but whenever I argue with this guy, I can’t help but get a bit too excited. I should act more mature…’

‘It’s probably because I have been too emotionless in the past due to the brainwashing that I haven’t got the chance to let go of all my pent-up emotion… And only by bickering like this can I let go of all my frustration.’

‘No, no. Why did I make an excuse? I simply have to act like my age.’ Anna tried to calm down, but whenever she saw Noel’s calm and collected face made her feel slightly annoyed. Noel was supposed to be younger than her, but because of her competitiveness, she thought of his maturity as a little competition in her heart.

She had been like this a lot of times whenever she was with Noel. ‘How do I put this in words? I feel like I can become my true self when I’m with him like this?’

Anna had changed a lot from the past her. And Noel was the one who brought that change. It might be because of it that she trusted Noel so much that it was fine to let him see this side of her.

Anna let out a long sigh, thinking this had gotten a bit out of control.

Meanwhile, Noel also had his own thoughts about her. ‘I hated her in the past. I hated her for trying to kill my parents and even almost killed me. But when she told me about that alternate world, I couldn’t help but wonder what the other me thought about her.’

‘She must have been horrible and killed a lot of people. Yet, she told me that the other me tried to help her. Why?’

‘I couldn’t understand what the other me thought of her. However, I do admit that she is special. My talent was bad before I met Ardagan. Only thanks to Ardagan could I reach this level.’

‘On the one hand, my inferiority might be the one causing me to be agitated whenever I bickered with her. On the other hand, I think I’ve lost all that hatred. She might have been horrible in the past, but the current her is extremely different. She is…’

It felt like a coincidence that before Noel could think of an answer, Anna actually asked, “Say, Noel… If you receive the chance to peek into the alternate world, what would you do?”

“Hmm?” Noel tilted his head in confusion. “Do you mean if I have the chance to be like you?”

“Yes.” Anna nodded.

Noel thought for a moment and said, “I don’t really care about that!”

“Huh?” Anna was startled by the answer. “Why? If you got this kind of knowledge, wouldn’t that give you a chance to reverse everything and even create a future you desire?”

“Is that so? That sounds tempting.” Noel nodded in understanding.

“Then—”

Noel waved his hand, stopping her. “Listen to this story. There is a son who kills his father. That son is being condemned by the whole village. Do you think the son is a bad guy or not? If he can choose to return to the past and fix his mistake, will he do it?”

“That’s obvious. He should return to the past. This way, he won’t be condemned by the whole village and won’t have to bear the mistake.”

“In that case, what if the son kills the father because the latter is beating him and his mother every single day? And that murder is only the reaction of the boy to survive and protect his beloved mother?”

“That’s…” Anna looked down, not being able to answer.

“I have made a lot of mistakes in the past. Just thinking about it makes me so embarrassed that I want to dig a hole to hide. However, that’s what defines me. My past has created the current me, and my future is the one that shapes my path.” Noel pointed at himself while smiling. “But the present me is the one making a decision. Whether it’s right or not, I will make a decision where I will continue to move on. There will surely be some regrets, but I’m not going to run away!”

“Not running away?” Anna contemplated. It felt like Noel was saying she had been running away from her mistake. But this chance was actually given by him as if he wanted her to do just that. This made her confused.

She recalled the story and tried to change it a bit. “In that case, how about after killing the father, the boy ends up regretting it? However, no matter what he does, he won’t be able to bring back his father. The only thing he can do is to atone for his mistake. He continued working hard for the next ten years and solved all kinds of disasters. Do you think the boy has atoned for his sins?”

Noel shook his head, answering it with another question. “If I said yes, would the boy stop solving the disasters?”

“That’s…” Anna fell silent. If the boy stopped, the disasters would strike and cause more misery.

“What I hate is the boy who kills his father. However, what I like is the boy who solves numerous disasters. Sin is sin; merit is merit. It won’t be washed away no matter what you do. That’s why if I truly can reject that chance, then I would rather not go through it. If people will come for my life, then I shall confront them head-on. If people will come to thank me, then I shall welcome them with a hug.”

“!!!” Anna widened her eyes in shock. All the people she killed in the past would continue to haunt her. Even if she returned to the past, that memory would continue to linger in her mind. She had been changing the future for the better. But as he said, would she stop if he acknowledged her deeds?

What Noel gave her was not the chance to redo her life and fix her mistakes. Instead, he gave her the opportunity to do what her past life couldn’t do. They were not the same. And the question was, what could she do? What made Noel give that chance to her? In other words, the reasons why she had this chance… the only thing she could do. It would be a hard path for her, but she had to find it.

Anna couldn’t help but smile. “A truce?”

“Peace agreement.” Noel smiled back.𝒆𝙣𝒐𝙫𝒆𝙡.𝙚𝙩