Chapter 256: Another question from him

"If you don’t want me to die, does that mean you want to stop yourself from destroying the world?"

Unfortunately, their earlier conversation had been interrupted by the rather pressing need to eat dinner. Blake had been willing to postpone the discussion, especially since Myles had finally agreed to let him go and finish preparing the chicken soup.

However, now that they were sitting together at the table, eating, the question had returned to haunt him.

Blake held his spoon between his fingers, staring at the soup.

Myles remained silent.

"..."

Blake glanced at him, but nothing...

He lowered his eyes again, letting out a small grunt before stuffing his mouth with another piece of bread and a spoonful of soup.

’Honestly, what’s with him?’

It wasn’t as though Blake expected Myles to suddenly pour his heart out over dinner.

’It’s always hard to understand his intentions. But I didn’t think it would be one hundred times harder to understand the reason as to why he’s just... hesitating this damn much now! Is it because of me? Or is it the world that he doesn’t want to lose? In either case, why?!’

Now, after everything that had happened, Blake couldn’t help returning to the question he’d asked earlier.

If Myles didn’t want him to die, did that mean he wanted to stop destroying the world? Or was there something else he wasn’t understanding?

Blake stirred his soup.

From Myles’ perspective, perhaps everything was still unavoidable.

Maybe he wanted to live with Blake, and he wanted them to stay together, to continue living the way they had been, sharing meals and spending their days together.

But perhaps he believed that wasn’t possible.

And if that was the case, then what was the point of everything they were doing?

Blake’s grip on his spoon tightened slightly.

’Tsk...’

He was getting ahead of himself again.

There were too many unknown variables, and he was attempting to draw conclusions without enough information.

That wasn’t particularly productive.

And besides Myles promised him one thing: after this assassination plan is over, he will tell Blake the truth.

Still, the anxiety creeping into his chest was difficult to ignore.

He couldn’t simply accept that the world was doomed to end. Not when he didn’t even understand why Myles was determined to bring about that outcome.

And, more importantly, why would the system have sent him here if everything was already decided?

Blake lowered his spoon.

’If the world is destined to end regardless of what I do, then what exactly am I supposed to accomplish?’

He’d been given a purpose, hadn’t he?

There had been a reason for his arrival, a reason he’d been placed in this situation and given the opportunity to interact with the people around him.

At least, that was what he is forced to believe. Because if not, then why does he exits within this world?

But even if he considered things from that perspective, there was still a problem.

’I mean, I already know Spoon omitted information from me.’

Blake’s expression darkened.

’And that’s lying.’

If the system knew what Myles intended to do, why hadn’t it told him? If it knew the world was in danger, why had it left him to discover everything on his own? And if it didn’t know, then what was the point of sending him here in the first place?

Just for fun?

Blake doubted that.

There had to be a reason for the system to even exist in the first place. Why for this world? Who is behind it?

But the more he thought about it, the less sense any of it made.

"Blake."

He blinked.

Myles was looking at him.

"...Hm?"

"Your soup is getting cold."

Blake looked down at his bowl.

"Oh."

He picked up his spoon again.

"Right. Sorry, you worked hard in it."

Myles watched him for another moment before returning his attention to his own meal.

Blake ate the rest of his soup in relative silence.

He decided to put his questions aside for now. He could think about the system later, when he wasn’t sitting across from someone who seemed perfectly content to let the world collapse around them.

Besides, if he continued thinking like this, he’d probably end up with a headache.

And he was already tired.

Once they’d finished eating, Blake gathered the dishes and carried them to the sink.

"I’ll wash these."

Myles did try to physically stop him, buy for once he was firm about it.

’Can’t continue to use you as a maid...’

Blake turned on the tap and began washing the bowls, taking care to remove the remaining traces of soup before placing them on the drying rack.

The familiar, mundane task helped him clear his mind a little.

At least this was something he understood.

Water, soap, dishes.

’If only my life was so fucking easy, like washing dishes.’

He rinsed the last bowl, shook the excess water from his hands, and glanced over his shoulder.

Rustle.

"Mh?"

He turned his head, and saw that Myles was rummaging through his belongings.

Blake stared at him.

"...What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

’Nothing?’

He watched as Myles pulled something out of a bag, examined it briefly, and put it back before moving on to another item.

That was a rather strange way of doing nothing.

Blake turned off the tap and shook his hands to get rid of the remaining water.

"Okay..." He tilted his head. "But then why are you rummaging through my stuff?"

Myles didn’t answer.

Blake dried his hands with a towel before walking over.

"What are you looking for?"

"Nothing."

Myles continued searching.

Blake stood beside him for a few seconds, watching as he went through his belongings with no apparent objective.

There didn’t seem to be any particular item he was trying to find. He wasn’t checking the contents of a specific bag or looking through a particular drawer.

He was simply... looking.

Blake crouched beside him.

"Um, really, if there’s something you’re curious about, you can just tell me."

Myles shook his head.

Then, without another word, he stood up and walked toward the bed.

Blake watched him go.

’...What was that about?’

Myles sat down on the edge of the bed, his expression unreadable.

Blake sighed.

’This man is going to give me gray hair.’

He rose to his feet and followed him, stopping directly in front of him.

Myles’ legs were slightly apart, leaving Blake standing between them.

Blake crossed his arms.

"Hey."

Myles looked up.

"You’re making me feel uneasy."

For a moment, he didn’t respond.

"I want to ask you a question."

Blake’s expression softened slightly.

"Oh?"

He tilted his head.

"Go ahead."

Myles lowered his gaze, silence stretching between them.

Blake waited.

He’d expected Myles to ask whatever was on his mind immediately, but the other man seemed to be struggling to find the right words.

That, in itself, was unusual.

Myles wasn’t someone who generally hesitated when he wanted information. He could be quiet, certainly, but he rarely seemed uncertain about whether to speak.

Blake studied his face.

"Myles?"

Myles finally raised his head. Then he reached out, wrapped his arms around Blake’s waist, and pulled him down onto his lap.

Blake let out a surprised sound.

"Wah—!"

He instinctively placed his hands on Myles’ shoulders to steady himself.

"Myles!"

The other man didn’t respond to his exclamation.

Instead, he held Blake close, his hands resting securely around his waist.

Blake blinked, momentarily forgetting what he’d intended to say.

’He better not make this a habit. What does he even want to ask me...’

Not that Blake particularly minded.

It was just...

He glanced down at Myles, who was looking at him with an expression he couldn’t quite decipher.

"What is it?"

"Did something happen to you before we met?"

Blake froze.

Ba-dump!

Ba-dump!!

Ba-dump!!!

For a brief instant, he forgot how to breathe.

The question had come so unexpectedly that he couldn’t even formulate a proper response.

Before they met?

What was Myles referring to?

Did he see something in him that reflected his life before coming here? His relationship with the system? The circumstances surrounding the actual Blake?

Blake’s mind raced through the possibilities, swallowing hard.

He tried to keep his expression neutral, but his body had already betrayed him.

His heart was beating so quickly that he was certain Myles could feel it one hundred times more than usual.

And, as though confirming his suspicion, Myles lifted one hand and placed it gently over Blake’s chest.

Blake stiffened.

"Don’t feel anxious," Myles murmured.

His palm rested over Blake’s heart, the touch gentle and reassuring.

"If you don’t want to tell me, you can wait."

Blake looked down at him.

Myles wasn’t pressing him for an immediate answer. He wasn’t demanding an explanation or insisting that Blake tell him everything.

He was simply waiting.

Blake raised his head, swallowing again.

His thoughts were a mess.

Something in his mind wanted to think about whatever possibility.

However, his eyes got drawn by something else. Yes, the drawer.

Myles had clearly noticed something.

’I think, I think... only about that.’

He looked at Myles again.

"..."

His lips parted, but no words came out.

He needed to be careful.

’But even if I try telling him about it, or answer his question, it’d be impossible for me to avoid the topic of my trasmigration.’

Still, he couldn’t keep avoiding the subject forever, because something happened to Blake before he met Myles.

To both.

Then, with his heart still beating far too quickly, he finally asked,

"...What made you ask me that?"