32. Silver Tongue

So it turns out that looking for somebody without actually talking to other people is kinda hard. You’d think I could just ask Fargo or Msshi where Talla ran off to, but that would involve finding them first, which I also don’t know how to do. Obviously, I could just get Allie to do it for me, but that feels a bit too much like admitting defeat, so instead I just wander the village aimlessly for a while.

About an hour into that, it finally occurs to me that I can probably track her down with my magical senses, seeing as she’s the only other mage around aside from the local priestesses. Barring that, Nipper’s pretty good at telling people apart these days, so maybe I could use him to sniff her out like a magical bloodhound.

Naturally, it’s just as I’m coming up with these genius ideas that I stumble into her sitting on a dock and staring out over the lake. I take it all back, this tracking stuff is easy. I should be a PI or something.

“Hold on,” Allie interjects just as I start making my way down the dock. “Something’s wrong.”

“Care to elaborate?” I murmur.

“I don’t know, there’s something about the way she’s sitting, it’s...” she trails off. “Sorry, I’m not a mind reader, she just looks down about something.”

Ugh, what am I supposed to do with that?

“Do I talk to her or not?”

“I think it’s fine,” she hedges. “Just be gentle, I guess.”

The fuck does she think I’m gonna do, run up and kick her in the shins? Throw Nipper at her head? Actually that might be kinda funny, but throwing Nipper around remains off limits.

Talla hears my footsteps on the dock and glances back, meeting my eyes with a smile. See? She’s fine! What does Allie know?

“Maggie, huh? That’s a funny coincidence,” she remarks.

What? I’m not quite sure what she’s talking about, and I’m also still impressed by how she can tell just by looking at us. I guess I probably walk different, and have a hard time looking at people. Come to think of it, I bet I’m the most obvious one, huh? I’m not sure whether that’s a good or bad thing, to be honest.

“What coincidence?” I ask.

“I was just telling one of the tribal elders that you’re not particularly difficult to talk to,” she explains. “With one notable exception.”

“Yeah,” I agree, nodding sagely. “Vi can be a real [bitch] sometimes.”

She giggles at that for some reason, and I take the opening to sit down next to her, letting my legs dangle over the edge of the wooden dock. The water is too low for me to dip my toes in, which is a shame because even now that it’s officially autumn, it’s still brutally hot out. We’re waiting for the next flood before Jira can set sail again.

The two of us sit in silence for a bit while I wait for her to start the conversation, and I get a little antsy when I realize that she might be waiting for the same thing. What do I say here? Hey there, wanna do some magical experiments? Why does that sound like a gross pickup line? Uh, maybe something like “I’ve got a new spell I want to try and I need a volunteer.” No, no, that’s too formal—sounds like something Vi would say.

I’m saved from my own squirming when she finally breaks the silence, though I almost wish that she didn’t.

“How does one choose between her family, her friends, and her people?” she asks out of the blue. “When every choice feels like a betrayal, how can I weigh the scales and determine which promises are worth breaking?”

“Uh...” I reply eloquently.

“Okay, let’s switch,” Allie interjects urgently. “I don’t think this is a Maggie conversation.”

First of all—fucking rude! Second, she’s absolutely correct, but even as I feel the pressure build behind my eyes, something makes me hold on rather than step aside for Allison.

“Did something happen?” I ask instead.

Talla sighs and looks up at the clear blue sky. I follow her gaze to the pale bluish arc of the planetary rings, now being lit from behind by the afternoon sun.

“You could say that,” she replies.

She goes on to lay out the conundrum before her. How one of the elders has a plan to sabotage Shaa’s crusade, in exchange for undermining Jira and Remi’s authority. From an outside perspective, I can see a lot of the advantages. She’d be preventing a war, putting her family in a very strong position, and even spitting in the eye of the fuckers who killed Draga. On the other hand, she’d be sending dozens of innocent tribesmen to their death, fucking over a bunch of her friends, and putting the Degala tribe in the hands of some racist old bitch.

“And the worst part is,” she sighs. “I can’t even be sure either choice will prevent any of the problems with the other. If I turn her down, does she go forward with the plot anyway? She wouldn’t make the offer if she didn’t think she had the power to make it happen. But there’s also no guarantee her plot will work. If I agree and the sabotage fails, then I’ve betrayed my friends for nothing.”

Heavy stuff. Also, why the fuck is she telling me any of this?

“Not that I don’t appreciate the trust,” I mumble, scratching my cheek. “But I’m not sure what to do with any of this information.”

“Just let me talk to her!” Allie insists. “What are you doing?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk to one of the others?” I add. “I’m not good at this stuff.”

Talla shakes her head. “I’ve gotten to know you all over the last few months, I think. Allison would tell me whatever she thinks will get me to do what she wants.”

I wince at the cutting accusation, but I’m not about to deny it. She’d do it with the best of intentions, but that’s one hundred percent our Allie. I can already hear her protesting, but I’m more than used to tuning her out by now.

“What about Vi?” I ask. “Or Eve?”

“Violet has strong convictions, and I can trust her to tell me what she thinks is right,” Talla says. “But I’m not sure that’s what I need right now. Evelyn is still too deferential to give me advice, and advice isn’t really what I’m looking for anyway. River...I don’t know her like the rest of you, but I’ve at least learned not to try predicting her.”

Right, right. That all tracks, I guess, but I’m not sure how that makes me the person she’s talking to about this.

“And—” I choke on my own words, second-guessing myself before deciding I’m already too committed to back out now. “And me?”

Talla chuckles softly and turns to meet my eyes. I try so hard not to look away, but the best I can manage is to stare at her ear.

“You, Maggie, I can trust to tell me exactly what you think,” she says. “Entirely without artifice. You don’t pay any heed to the fact that I’m a noble, a friend, higher tier, or that you’re adorably smitten with me. Whatever you say, you speak directly from the heart.”

My face is on fire now, and that ear feels way too close to her face for my comfort. Shoulder? No. My own lap, sure, that’s good.

Now then, what the fuck is she talking about? I’m honest? Since fucking when? I lie to everybody about everything all the time. Even to myself! Especially to myself. I’m the least trustworthy person she has met or ever will. Am I just such an amazing liar that I’ve completely fooled her? Damn, I’m good.

Step aside, Allie! Machiavellian Mistress Maggie is on the case! This is my chance to bring Talla completely under our thrall. Make her so indebted to us that one day during our rise to prominence as the greatest chaos witch the world has ever known, we’ll have a powerful matriarch in our pocket. And, you know, other benefits too, I’m sure.

All I need to do is let this silver tongue of mine do the work!

“Are you fucking stupid?”

Hm, hold on a tick. The voice is mine, and so are the words, but I feel as if there’s been a glitch somewhere. That doesn’t sound like a peerless seductress to me.

“Excuse me?” Talla asks with a start.

“Why are you acting like your only choices are the ones that other people have laid out for you?!” I demand. “You took us on a whole romantic stargazing trip just to ask what we want, but what do you want?”

“Wha—?!” she stammers, suddenly flustered. “It wasn’t—”

“No, shut the fuck up!” I interrupt. “Are you playing the game or are you just a piece on the board?”

Oh Goddess, someone please stop me. Let the ground open up and swallow me or something, because I can’t fucking stop.

“It’s not that simple!” Talla insists.

“The fuck it isn’t!” I retort. “You’re a [badass] sexy sorceress queen and you can do whatever the fuck you want!”

“I am very much not a queen.”

“Not with that attitude! Do you want Shaa’s armies to invade the Blessed Lands?”

“No, of course not!”

I shrug. “Then stop them.”

“But I don’t want to betray Jira, or condemn the tribesmen Feena would send to their deaths!”

“Then don’t, obviously!”

She huffs in frustration. “That’s exactly the problem, Maggie! I can’t have it both ways!”

“Says who?” I scoff. “If elder [what’s her face] wants to scheme behind your back, then crush her underhoof like a fucking bug. Then stop Shaa’s [bullshit] war your own way. You don’t need her or anyone else!”

“How?!” she begs.

“Doesn’t matter to me,” I reply. “If you wanted good ideas, you’d be talking to someone else. I’m telling you that if you don’t like the options people are giving you, then flip them all the bird and do your own thing.”

“What does that even mean?” she whispers with a grimace. “No, even if I do as you say, it would still be a betrayal. I have a duty to my family and my home—an obligation I was born into, no matter how far I run from it.”

Noblesse oblige? Really? Fucking kill me right now.

“Do I look like I give a shit?” I ask. “‘Oh no, woe is me, my family doesn’t own literally everything. My mother will never forgive me.’ Fuck off! As if you wouldn’t get most of the same benefits by staying on Jira’s good side.”

Talla bristles at my mockery, but pauses long enough to consider what I’m saying.

“It’s not like I haven’t thought of that,” she says. “But Elder Feena wouldn’t have approached me with the offer if she wasn’t prepared for Jira to catch wind of it. In the worst case, it might spark violence among the tribe between the split factions.”

“Crush. Her. Like. A. Bug!” I repeat, jabbing fingers sharply into my thigh for emphasis on each word. “I know you want to. I can practically feel how badly you want to slap that smug bitch’s smile off her wrinkly old face. So do it! Who’s going to stop you?”

She runs a hand through her hair and groans. “That sounds like a terrible idea. Not only would I be explicitly intervening in tribal affairs on behalf of my family, but I would also be publicly endorsing Jira. That alliance is not something my mother can take back, and it would cause a great deal of trouble back home.”

“Sounds like her problem,” I snort. “And again, if you wanted good ideas, you wouldn’t be talking to me.”

Talla chuckles weakly and shakes her head. “No, I suppose not. Perhaps there is a third option that I haven’t given proper consideration.”

“Good,” I reply with a sharp nod. “Glad we got that cleared up. Now can I test a new spell on you? I have no idea how it’s going to work, and I need a specimen that can describe it in detail.”

She stares at me for a long moment, then bursts into an uncontrolled fit of laughter. I draw my knees up and hug my arms around myself. Shit, I knew I was going to fuck it up. Now she’s laughing at me.

“What’s so funny?” I grumble.

“Oh, it’s nothing, I’m sorry,” she says, wiping her eyes. “I’d be happy to help you, Maggie.”